A Fangirl's Dream Come True:::YEAH RIGHT!
by Hisa-Me Kurai
Summary: Jayden Schwartz is a closet gamer and wants to keep it that way. But what happens when the CG characters she worships appear in her world? Love, right? WRONG! Think regular interrogating, run ins with the cops, a nosy family and you'll be more on target.
1. rEAlitY ChaNGEs

(Hey all! Hisa-me Kurai here! This is my first stab at a Final Fantasy VII Fic, so go easy on me, okay? That having been said, READ ON!)

* * *

"_**ARRGH!**_ I keep getting **killed!** This **_sucks!_** Damn you, Yuffie! **You** suck! I **_knew_** I shoulda gone with **Tifa!**" 

Jayden Schwartz threw her PS2 controller across the room to show her frustration and flopped back angrily against her bed.

She had been stuck on the same level for over two weeks.

**TWO.**

**_FUCKING._**

**_WEEKS!_**

Jayden had **never** had trouble with video games before.

She was a **_pro_**…not that anyone **else** knew that.

Jayden Schwartz, you see, is what is more commonly known as a "**_closet_**" gamer.

For all those unfamiliar with the term, I shall enlighten you: a "**closet**" gamer is called such because no one knows how into video games they actually are; not their schoolmates, not their family or friends.

They prefer no one to know about their pastime, so they won't be labeled, and as far as Jayden knew, she was currently a label free, living ghost and she was determined to keep it that way.

Not to mention Jayden was the top "closet" gamer in the state Washington, perhaps the entire country.

She had lost count of all the lives she had taken in the online version of World of Warcraft and was surprised her account hadn't been frozen.

Which is why she was so pissed that she couldn't get past this one stupid level.

"Jayden, hun? You okay in there?"

_"Shit."_ Jayden thought to herself, stretching forward, ripping out the connections linking the PS2 to the T.V. and stowing the game system under her bed.

The door was opened shortly after as her mother entered the room.

"Honestly hun, you **_really_** should let me redecorate." She sighed wistfully, eyeing the Flogging Molly and Rammstein posters lining the walls, unmade bed and dirty clothes piled on the floor.

"Bleh." Jayden replied, sticking out her tongue with a smirk on her lips, "I happen to **like** my sty."

Her mother frowned slightly, eyeing her only daughter's nose piercing and dyed black hair with bright red streaks, recently cut so that it bounced against her shoulders.

"I honestly don't see **_why_** you destroyed your perfectly beautiful hair, love." She muttered, shaking her head, "**Or** decided to punch a hole in yourself…but your money I suppose."

There was an awkward pause.

"Well, I just wanted to check in on you." her mother said clumsily, turning to leave.

"Mom, I know you've been on edge since Charlie was mugged, but he walked away with a black eye and the guy didn't even get two blocks before Charlie got his wallet back." Jayden said in a strained tone, "I'm not going to be bludgeoned to death if you don't watch me every second. Okay?"

"I know." She sighed as Jayden rose off the floor, "It's just that…that…well…you're my baby girl. I'll always worry about you."

"Okay, okay." Jayden said, frustration tingeing her voice slightly, "I'm heading out, alright?"

"Have you got your-!" the woman's question died on her lips when Jayden shook the LG Chocolate an inch from her nose.

"Yes, **mother**." Jayden sighed, rolling her pale blue eyes. "I'll give you a call when I get there, and check in every hour, on the hour, just like I always do. That sound alright to you?"

The woman colored faintly and nodded as her daughter walked past.

"I'll be seein' ya, mom." She called over her shoulder, already making mental plans of all the Gaming stores in Seattle she was going to hit before nightfall.

* * *

"What the hell are **_they_** doing here?" 

"Would you **cool** it Yuffie? You haven't had time to recover properly."

"**_Answer_** the question."

Tifa Lockhart forced Kisaragi Yuffie back down as Reno and Rude moseyed across the room.

"I invited them." Cloud Strife murmured, leaning against the wall restlessly, "We'll need all the help we can get against Sephiroth. Even if it comes in the shape of a former enemy."

"**But**-" Yuffie sputtered, trying to sit up.

"Down." Barrett Wallace said severely, pushing down on both shoulders, "If you get angry, your wounds will re-open."

"**_Ooo_**." Yuffie pouted, sticking out her lower lip sulkily.

"Our focus needs to be on the Remnants." Vincent Valentine said coolly, "They're gathering more, and more Geostigma infected children by the day. **His** resurrection draws nearer with each passing day. Perhaps Jenova's as well."

"That's why we're putting the past behind us." Rude said evenly, "For the greater good."

"As well placed as your intentions may be…" a silkily intense voice drawled from the doorway, "I'm afraid it will do you no good."

The group whirl around to find the Remnants, Yazoo, Kadaj and Loz, lingering in the doorway, looking far too superior for their own good.

"Well…how did I just know **_this_** was gonna happen?" Reno muttered under his breath, flipping the switch that started electricity flowing through the pole in his hand.

Cloud had whipped the Buster sword off his back so quickly that a large track mark now marred the wall behind him.

"It seems as though there will be no time for pleasantries." Kadaj commented, unsheathing his own blade.

Everyone, including the injured Yuffie, was on their feet.

"Let's end this quickly." Loz commented, sparks flying around his hand, "I want to find Mother."

Everyone charged at once.

There was a huge flash of light as powers converged on one another…then all was silent…for awhile.

"What do you thinks going on?"

"Must be cosplayers from a gaming convention or something."

"Maybe they're lost."

"They must be putting on a show. How cool!"

"Their costumes are really good."

Weapons still poised at each other's throats, the group paused to take in their surroundings.

Shattered glass was on the ground near their feet, for one thing…originating most likely from the blown out store window not five feet away from them.

Then there was their general local: they had started out in the back of a dark, smoke filled bar. Where they were now, wherever it was, was neither dark, nor was it smoke filled.

It was bright, open, spacious and filled with people…many of whom were stopping to point and stare at them.

* * *

**SPLT_-RLRLRL_**

"Oh…dear god, this is a cosmic joke."

Whipping around at the unfamiliar voice coming from behind them, they found themselves confronted by a very harassed looking teenager who by all appearances, couldn't have been older than seventeen...and had just dropped some kind of drink on the floor by her feet.

Clearly dyed hair, dressed like a punk: black on black with a splash of red and white here and there for color.

What struck them the most though were the eyes: she had the eyes of someone infected with the Geostigma; pale blue, but green seeping into the iris from the outer rim and leaking outwards from the pupils giving them a catish appearence.

"This…isn't real." She muttered, shaking her head, "I'm hallucinating. I knew the smoke coming from Kyle's room was Yes-I-Cannabis."

She pushed her way through them, still talking to herself.

"You're not going anywhere." Kadaj murmured coolly, his voice suddenly more threatening than it had been in previous encounters for some unknown reason as he held his katana on level with this strange girl's throat.

"Yes, yes I am." she replied, shaking under the force of his icy stare, "Why? Because I **can**. Why? Because I'm hallucinating, **_that's_** **_why!_** There's **no** **way** in **_any_** **_mighty_** **_manner_** of **existence** that you could be real!"

Tifa and Barrett both looked at the girl like she was crazy, which was appropriate considering the circumstances.

"Annnd why wouldn't we be real?" Tifa demanded, crossing her arms and tapping her foot.

"**Because!** Because you're all **_game_** characters." She said with fierce conviction in her Geostigma eyes, "**All** of you! **_And_** your weapons! **And** Sephiroth, even though he doesn't appear to be here right n-!"

"What do you know about Sephiroth?" Cloud demanded, eyes widening slightly in surprise.

"Not much because I never really cared about one winged angels!" she shot back. "Now if you'll excuse me, oh cute little figments of my imagination, the bunnies have clearly eaten my brain so I have to go find a retailer to sell me a new one…"

Without paying any heed to Kadaj's sword, which was currently aimed at her throat, the girl pushed past Yuffie, making a mental note aloud that that wasn't real either even though she had made physical contact with the thief.

* * *

"They weren't real, none of this was real." She chanted as she started to walk down the thoroughfare…until Reno and Rude ran after her and grabbed the girl by the arms, dragging her back as she tried to shake free of them. 

"You're **_not_** supposed to be able to **touch** **me!**" she announced loudly, "You're **_not_** real! You're a **stress** and **_pot smoke_** induced **delusion!**"

"Stop **_saying_** that already! It's creepy!" Reno said.

"You don't know the **HALF** of it!" she spat scathingly, head drooping and sagging slightly in the grip of the Turks, "I knew it, I was afraid of this…having schizophrenia…it runs in the family…Gramma had it. I was afraid I'd go crazy like her, too many video games really do rot your-"

Rude finally clamped his hand over the girl's mouth and she struggled against him until after about a minute she appeared to relax and the Turk chanced removing his hand.

"Now…" Rude started, keeping his voice even, "How did you know that? Who have you been speaking to?"

"Not your Rufus Shinra, that's for sure…" she replied. Rude and Reno exchanged a shocked look and stared at the rest of the out of place group with shaken eyes.

"How did you-" Yuffie began.

"Know that? **_Wow_**, that seems to be the million dollar question of the year!" she announced, throwing her hands up into the air.

Rude and Reno grabbed her again and held both her arms in a much tighter grip, keeping her still, "Geez… weren't you guys listening? **YOU'RE ALL SQUARE ENIX GAME CHARACTERS! _NOW LET ME GO!_**"

"Do you have a medical history?" Vincent demanded to know.

"I **wish!** At least **_that_** would explain what's **happening** to me right now!" she cried, tears dancing in her eyes, a look of,_ 'why isn't anybody helping me,' _etched all over her face.

"Stop being ridiculous." Cloud commanded, "How do you know these things?"

"Oh, don't make me say it again!" she groaned.

It appeared though, she was debating her next move internally though, and everyone readied themselves for a possible attack…that never came.

"Okay, this feels real enough…" she commented, pinching herself with long, black polished nails, "**_Owuch!_** Okay, felt that…but that was me touching myself. Someone else pinch me! Slap my arm! Do something!"

Loz was more than happy to comply and slapped her viciously across the face in a manner reserved for an abusive boyfriend.

Cloud and Barrett reacted swiftly to counter this act of assault on a woman, but the Remnants saw opportunity, took it, and fled.

"Ugh…felt that." The girl moaned, cradling her cheek, blood running down her jaw line.

"Please..." Tifa asked gently, stepping forward and offering her a handkerchief to stanch the bleeding, "How do you know about us?"

"If I try to explain it, you won't believe me…" she mumbled dully, "You **already** think I'm crazy anyway…"

"Apparently **_you_** do too…" Reno responded, which resulting in Rude backhanding him across the back of the head.

Vincent peered out at the girl testily out of the corner of his eye and after a time, finally said, "Try to explain it."

"Are you saying there's a chance you'd **believe** me?" she asked skeptically, looking at him.

"No. I still think you're either insane, or putting up an act. But I'll humor you for now if it will help us to obtain new information on Sephiroth." Cloud replied.

"Oh thanks." She snorted, rolling those Geostigma eyes of hers.

"Okay, where I come from… there's this series of CG games called Final Fantasy." she began.

Barrett glanced at Cloud's expression. Something flashed across his eyes, but he didn't speak.

"There a new story in each series, and in Final Fantasy VII, the story revolves around all of you and your attempts to stop Sephiroth from being ressurected." the girl continued.

"Let's see. The characters were as follows: Cloud Strife…his weapon is a broad sword; Tifa Lockhart… her weapons are her fists and feet; Reno… his weapon of choice is a retracting shock rod; Rude…he primarily uses his fists; Barrett…he uses his prosthetic arm as a weapon; Kisaragi Yuffie…an oversized shuriken. I can never win when I use her; Vincent Valentine…an excellent shot with is weapon of choice, the Cerberus…would you like me to go into the details of the Remnants?" she asked.

There was a silence at the outpouring of so much personal data at once.

Then Vincent said what everyone expected him to, "We should kill you for knowing so much…it's dangerous."

The girl eyed him carefully.

"I'll have you know that it's not my fault… as far as **I** know you people aren't even real. I don't understand **_what_** you're all doing here, but I don't think you were placed here to kill me." she retorted shrewedly, annoyance coloring her words.

"I don't understand how you can have so much information in such detail!" Reno announced. "But you can't expect us to believe that you're just some girl from another world and we are supposed to be…made up."

The girl sighed deeply, looking as though she was expecting this response, then apparently was struck with an idea.

"**_Ha!_** **I know!** I'll **_prove_** **_it_** to you! First off, my name is Jayden Elliot Schwartz and I was born on May 19th, 1989!" she said triumphantly, "According to **my** knowledge, it is 2006 and I am 17 years old and scheduled to start attending Cornish Institute of the Arts in July 2007."

As she said this fast-paced string of words, she unzipped her backpack and retrieved out a wallet.

Upon opening, a school I.D, reading Jayden Elliot Schwartz, complete with photo smiled up at them. There was the evidence, plain as day, smirking gleefully in all of their faces.

She also showed them both her social security **_AND_** ATM card, both with her name on it.

She even produced a Linkin' Park concert ticket from only two days before.

"I'm **_not_** lying." She sighed irritably, stuffing the contents of her backpack where they belonged, "I **swear**, I **_never_** expected you guys to be as skeptical as my **mom**, but **_apparently_** I was **grievously** misinformed."

"This is…this is just too unreal." Yuffie murmured, sitting down hard.

"Look, why don't we head back to my place." Jayden suggested, "I'm pretty sure someone's called the mall cops by now. And with the day I've had, that's one pain in my ass that can easily be avoided."

"…fine." Cloud agreed after a time, "But if you try anything…"

"I **_wont_**." Jayden retorted quickly, looking more vexed with each passing second, "If anything, this will just prove my case."

* * *

(A/N: Ah the joys of public transportation. Will Jayden have enough to cover the bus fare for all of them? And if they make it to Jayden's house withOUT getting arrested for toting weapons in broad daylight, there's still the matter of the Remnants on the loose somewhere in Washington. R&R!) 


	2. Public Transportation&Voice Emodulation

(A/N: Wow...woweewowwowwow...I'm so surprised...and happy. I didn't think my fic would be as well recieved as it has been, but I'm glad! And now, onto the next chapter! Enjoy!)

* * *

"Okay, need to think." Jayden mumbled, massaging her temples and squeezing her eyes shut, "Math was **never** my best subject. God - paper, paper, **_neeeeeed_** paper." 

She started rummaging through her back pack and retrieved a rather rumpled piece of paper with a half finished doodle of a bird on the back.

Smoothing it out and flipping it over, Jayden started jotting down figures with a mechanical pencil.

Reno opened his mouth to speak, but was promptly shot down when she thrust her hand in his face.

"**Awp-awp-awp!**" she cried, eyes focused on the math problem in front of her, "Notta good time. Now, lessee…commuter fare…three…times…two, three, four, five…carry the two…**_damn_**, that's a lot."

"What's a lot?" Yuffie asked curiously, noticing to her displeasure that several people were taking pictures of the group as they waited for what ever mode of transportation this world employed.

"Bus fare for all of you." Jayden replied ruefully, triple checking her work, "With all of you and myself included, it comes out to twenty four dollars. Hope I have enough."

"I'm almost positive that paying the way for seven out of worlders wasn't originally on your schedule." Tifa sighed, sending an apologetic look at Jayden.

"I really **am** sorry about this, but we need proof of your story." Cloud said gently, patting her shoulder, making the girl noticeably twitch.

"What's wrong?" Barrett asked, perceiving Jayden's reaction.

"Sorry, I'm just…I'm…still **_adjusting_**, okay?" Jayden said in a strained voice, "I mean, game characters aren't supposed to be able to touch you, give off body heat; you're not **supposed** to able to **_smell_** their cologne. I'm still trying to tell myself I've gone off the deep end. But every time one of you guys **touches me**, it's like…like the cosmos is trying to take everything I once held true and-"

"-cosmically bitch slap you?" Reno supplied, draping an arm lazily around her shoulders, "**_Believe_** me, we've **all** been there and done that. Aint nothing new, ya know?"

_"Yeah. I know."_ Jayden thought derisively as she swatted the Turk's arm off and rolled her eyes, _"More than I wish I did."_

Just then, the bus rolled up and Jayden crossed to the front of the group.

"Alright." She said, taking in each person one by one, "I'm going to explain this situation to the driver and pay for our fare…hopefully."

Climbed the steps and put on what she hoped was a winning smile.

"Hi." She grinned, "My friends and I are just coming from a gaming convention and I'm gonna pay their way. Is that alright?"

"Yeah it is." the driver drawled, eyeing the FFVII characters behind her, "But those weapons...?"

"**AH**! Th-those?" Jayden squeaked, having completely forgotten that the Square Enix characters made real were still toting their weapons in plain sight, "Their, um, die-cast plastic replicas."

"Really?" the bus driver remarked, looking over Cloud's Buster sword with a scrutinizing gaze, "Replicas or no, they'll have to be stowed in the storage compartment on the side of the bus. We don't want any accidents."

"Not a problem." Jayden said quickly, "I'll help them load up, and pay for my group after they've boarded okay?"

"Alright. It's just the group in costume right?" the driver asked, not wanting anyone taking advantage and sneaking on without paying.

"Y-yeah." Jayden called over her shoulder as she hurried down the steps and allowed other riders to board, "This should only take a second."

* * *

"Okay. Listen up, all your weapons? In here." Jayden stated, opening up the storage compartment on the side of the bus, "You can't carry them on the bus. You'll be labeled potential terrorists and be taken in for questioning." 

"By who?" Reno snorted, not very willing to part with his shock rod, "Who'd label us terrorists?"

"Uhh, just the po**_lice_**." Jayden shot back rather snappishly, "Two years ago, on September eleventh, terrorists hijacked airplanes and flew them into the Trade Center and the pentagon. A few months later, some **fucktard** decided to hide plastic explosives in his shoes. The police today are **unbelievably** paranoid. They'll take in **_ANYBODY_** who looks suspicious."

"**Okay, okay!** _**Sorry!**_ **Yeesh!**" Reno cried, throwing his hands into the air, "No need to get so **_pissy!_**"

"Well, you're getting on her nerves." Yuffie scowled, still not happy that the Turks were here in the first place.

"Enough." Barrett said exasperatedly, stepping between them, "We're holding up the bus. Let's just load up our things and go…okay?"

Without waiting for Reno to give an answer, Rude extracted the weapon from his partner's hand and tossed it into the cargo hold.

Cloud followed suit by lifting the giant shuriken from Yuffie's back and tossing it in the storage compartment, showing much more care when loading up his own sword.

"**Hey!**" the two cried in dismay at how badly their weapons were manhandled.

Vincent removed the Cerberus from it's holster and gave it one final, affectionate pat before setting it atop Cloud's broadsword.

All weapons loaded, Jayden slammed the door to the cargo hold shut and motioned for them to get on board.

One, by one the clamored inside, moving to the back, leaving Jayden to board last and foot the bill of twenty four fifty (she had forgotten to factor in the tax)

"Sorry about all the trouble." She said apologetically, allowing her head to droop from a mixture of shame and exhaustion.

"I've had worse. Believe me." The driver said dismissively, "And at least you're a lot more compliant than some other passengers I've had."

Tossing the driver a weak smile, Jayden moved to the back to join the Square Enix characters, Reno and Cloud scooching aside so she was sandwiched between them.

* * *

"There goes my belly piercing money." Jayden mumbled dismally, Tifa catching the muttered complaint and smiling apologetically. 

"I really am sorry about all this." She said, giving the teen's hand a pat from her seat next to Cloud, "I promise, once we get everything straightened out, we'll try to find a way to reimburse you, okay?"

"We'll try to find a way to **_what?_**" Reno barked, startling a small child two seats away out of his slumber and into a fit of hysterical wailing.

"If you get us kicked off the bus Reno, I swear on the name of Rufus Shinra, I'll castrate you myself." Rude growled quietly.

"I'm very sorry, ma'am." Jayden said with a truly remorseful look on her face, "Voice-Emodulation Syndrome. Can't control the volume, ya know."

A look of surprise crossed the mother of the crying child's face, followed by one of sympathy…directed **ALLLLL** at a now **_very_** confused Reno.

"You **poor** man." She said with sensitivity, "I understand now. You can't help yourself."

"_Got that right._" Yuffie muttered under her breath as Tifa started to giggle and Rude let loose a snicker that went completely unnoticed by the woman who was now attending to her child.

Reno shot Jayden a piercing glare, that she conveniently chose to ignore by looking out the window.

"Grow up." Vincent said dully, laying out on the seat do that his cape pooled on the floor, "A **_man_** wouldn't allow something so meaningless to rattle him."

"**I'm _only_ nineteen!**" Reno cried, throwing his hands into the air.

"Then you're two years **_INTO_** adulthood." Jayden remarked smirkingly, "Well…I guess what registers in body doesn't **always** register in the mind."

This last insult caused both Vincent and Cloud to involuntarily snort with laughter and bring up a hand over their mouths to stifle the sound.

"Made'm laugh. I believe that makes the score forty-love." Jayden commented, slouching down in the seat.

"Forty-what?" Barrett asked, looking slightly perplexed.

"Tennis reference." Jayden replied vaguely, eyes sliding shut, "Don't worry about it."

She then slumped against Reno, who made a move to push her off him, only to have his way blocked Rude who decided to point out the obvious: Jayden had fallen asleep.

"Come **_on_**." Reno complained, psychically willing the weight pressing against his shoulder to go away…which it didn't, "Can't I push her off? She's **heavy!**"

"**_No_**." Tifa scowled, folding her arms across her chest, "She's had as hard a day as the rest of us. You'll let her alone."

"Let her rest, Reno." Cloud said offhandedly watching as the skyscrapers gave way to pastures dotted with cattle, "She's in for an interrogation session once we arrive at her home anyway. We may as well let her rest while she can."

But just when it seemed as though Jayden was going to get some well deserved sleep…

_**Uh give me that Mountain Dew,  
**__**Uh give me that Mountain Dew,  
**__**Uh give me that Mountain Dew,  
**__**I aint playin with you,  
**__**You better give me my Mountain dew**_

Her eyes flew open, she rocketed forward, causing a head-on collision with a balance pole.

* * *

"**AK!** _Shitshitshitshitshit!_" she gasped, one hand flying to her forehead and the other digging around in her pocket for her phone, "**Dammit** Charlie, this had **_BETTER_** be good!" 

Reno was laughing so loudly she almost couldn't hear Charlie Schwartz's words.

"_J.D! Where th' _hell_ are you?_" her elder brother demanded to know, "_It's almost ten!_"

"Would you **chill** out?" Jayden snapped, wincing in pain, "I'm dealing with a _**head injury**_ here, no thanks to **you!**"

"_Sorrrrry._" Charlie snorted back sarcastically, "_Well? Where th' hell are you?_"

"I had to…pick up the exchange students." Jayden said hastily after rummaging through her brain for a possible alibi, "Remember? Mom said it was okay for us to host some exchange students?"

"_Oh yeah._" he replied thoughtfully.

While it was **_true_** Mikayla Schwartz had agreed to be a host family for some exchange students, Jayden had lost the form early on. And, being a typical, lazy teenager, she hadn't bothered to get another one. Jayden had never been so happy for losing a piece of paperwork in her life.

"_So…any of'm available?_" Charlie asked hopefully.

"Charlie, another word out of you and I'm showing your toilet training pictures to the cheer squad." Jayden said dully.

"_You're no fun._" Charlie shot back sulkily, "_Just be careful once you hit the streets alright?_"

"I always **am!**" Jayden cried in exasperation, flopping back against the seats, "**_God_**, you get mugged one time, **_one_**-**_freakin'_**-**_time_**, and you all go totally psycho protective on me!"

"_Sorry, sorry._" Charlie said defensively, "_Sheesh. I'll heat up a frozen pizza for you and the exchange students. How many should I make?_"

"Two or three." Jayden replied, surveying the Final Fantasy characters filling the seats around her, "I got a bit more than I…bargained for."

"_Sheesh. Hope mom takes it well._" Charlie snorted, "_See ya when I see ya, runt._"

"Later, **Charlotte**." Jayden said scathingly, hanging up abruptly.

* * *

She stuffed the cell back into her pocket, and held her forehead with both hands, rocking back and forth. 

"**_Owwww_**…dammit, it hurts." She moaned, tears forming in the corners of her eyes, "This **has** to be punishment for something. I don't know what the **_hell_** I did, but it must have been pretty** fucked up.**"

"Hey, **_hey_**." Yuffie said sympathetically, "It isn't as bad as all **that**. I mean, you could be sick, but you're not. And as long as you're with us, we'll protect you from the Remnants."

Cloud's eyes went wide.

"**_The Remnants!_**" he cried, leaping his feet and almost pulling a Jayden as the bus rounded a corner, "They're still on the loose. I have to go back."

"Cloud, **please**." Tifa pleaded, "Its been a long day. We're all exhausted, hungry, Yuffie's hurt and we need answers. Please, **_please_**, let us rest. Just for the night. We need to regroup."

"That **includes** you." Rude said pushing his shades up the bridge of his nose with his middle finger, "You can put up as much of a front as you like man, but I know you're **_just_** as tired as the rest of us."

"Even the strongest warrior needs his rest." Vincent commented, stretching languidly and pushing himself upright.

"...fine. You've convinced me." Cloud sighed, defeated, "But **only** for the night. Tomorrow, we search."

"Agreed." Barrett nodded in a agreement, "We can't let them get too comfortable with the surroundings."

"Not that this speech isn't makin' me feel all warm and fuzzy, guys? But we're here." Jayden said cheerlessly, leaning over Reno to press the STOP button.

The buss pulled into the bus pick up/drop off site and came to a halt, allowing them to exit and unload the weapons. Reno had to dig around for almost five minutes before locating his shock rod, and then they were on their way.

* * *

"How far **_is_** this place from here?" Reno asked blandly as they walked along, crossing the street into a housing development named Stanton Meadows. 

"For the **fifth** time, about three or four **_blocks_**." Jayden replied in annoyance, "Do you have short term **memory** loss or something?"

"No, he just has a short attention span." Rude replied with a sigh as they rounded the corner inside a housing development.

"And before you **_even_** ask, **no**, we're not here yet." Jayden ground out irascibly, very worn out from the days events and no longer in any mood to be accommodating and polite.

They rounded another corner and walked down a sidewalk lined with trees and neatly trimmed lawns.

They stopped in front of one and with a swoop a her arm, Jayden said sarcastically:

"Here it is. Casa de Scwhartz. Not much, but there should be room for all of you."

With that, she turned on her heel, motioning for them to follow her up to the porch, where Jayden climbed up a rose trellis and felt up onto the portico roof, retrieving a key.

"Alrighty. Here goes everything." She mumbled, unlocking the door and pushing it open…only to be hurled back by a silver-furred, slobbering blur.

"**_CHEWYYYYY!_** Not **now**!" Jayden cried as the Great Dane licked her face to show how much it had missed her.

"What…is that?" Reno gawked as Jayden pushed the giant dog of her.

"This is Chewbacca. My Great Dane." she replied, with a touch of annoyance mixed with affection as she held onto the dog's collar with one hand and wiped her face off with the other.

Chewbacca, or **_'Chewy'_**, seemed very interested in the new arrivals as he was lunging at them in an attempt to coat their faces with slobber too.

"Let's get inside." Jayden grunted, giving the dog a swat on the rear to send him into the house, "I'm hungry. And the sooner we eat, the sooner you can pump me for information."

* * *

(A/N: Cloud and the others get a face full of Jayden's reality, a reality in which the only place they exist is on a 3x3 laser disc and fansites. How will they take it? The Remnants launch an attack. R&R!) 


	3. Double Click For Humiliation

(A/N: Weeeeee! I'm so glad you all are enjoying my ficcy! Woot! And now, on with the story!)

* * *

"Hey **Kyle!** **_Charrrrlie!_**" Jayden yelled, looking as thought she regretted that decision as she winced and held the side of her face, "Where the hell **are** you, ya idiots?"

"**I'm in _here!_**" a loud male voice yelled from the only lit room downstairs that the Final Fantasy VII characters could see; the stairs that led to the second level and the second level itself was completely dark.

"Come on." Jayden muttered, looking at the group that filled her entryway doubtfully, "Think up aliases as fast as you can, alright? My head hurts too much to think about anything except getting food into me."

That having been said she turned to make her way into the well lit room, which turned out to be a kitchen, where food was waiting, as well as a person, a man more specifically.

Like Jayden, his hair was obviously dyed: black, green, red and purple this time. Also like her, he had a nose piercing, several earrings, and a penchant for black, white and red. Unlike her, however, he sported several tattoos and a good sized scar across the bridge of his nose.

"This them?" he asked, eyes automatically drifting to Yuffie and Tifa.

"**_Noooooo_**, ya **think** Captain Obvious?" Jayden asked sarcastically, clipping him across the back of the head with her ring hand as she moved past him to get food.

"Can't a guy ask?" he asked teasingly, before noticing the good sized bruise forming on the side of her face, "What happened t' you? Get in a fight?"

"Got in a fight." She replied evenly, surprising the newcomers in her kitchen at the ease at which she was willing to lie, "And before you even ask, **no**, I'm **_not_** saying who it was. You're not spending the night in jail because of me - **again**. I'm not making **_that_** mistake twice."

The man closed his mouth and looked at Jayden sulkily.

"Just a hint?" he asked, crossing the kitchen in three strides of his long legs and poking her in between the shoulder blades teasingly.

"I don't need that on my conscience." Jayden snorted, popping the pizza into her mouth, "'ey, 'fyou guys're 'ungee, edder uree up. 'm lib'l t' ea' it all 'fyou dun.'"

(TRANS: Hey, if you guys are hungry, you better hurry up. I'm libel to eat it all if you don't.)

Somehow able to make sense of her words through the chewed up food, the game characters made real hurried forward and began grabbing for pizza slices two at a time.

* * *

"It's not gonna disappear, ya know." the man laughed, his nose piercing glinting in the light as he did so, "Th' name's Charles Schwartz, everyone just calls me Charlie, tho'." 

"You wish, **Charlotte**." Jayden said in a tone dripping with feigned sweetness after swallow her pizza.

"Shaddap, J.D." Charlie smirked, ruffling his siblings hair, "What about you? Whadd're your handles?"

"I'm Tiffany Hart." Tifa said in a weak attempt at an alias as she reached for a third slice.

"Armand Taber." Vincent said coolly, ensuring his mechanical hand stayed safely concealed beneath his robes.

"The name's Denzel Clarke." Barrett replied, finished with his meal and rummaging through the fridge for a beer.

"Aiden Fischer." Cloud stated, leaning back against the wall, finished with eating and wanting to get on with interrogating Jayden.

"Deangelo Marks. Hey Denzel, pass one a those my way." Rude said casually catching the beer Barrett tossed at him, twisting off the lid with ease.

"Keith Machado." Reno said evenly, scamming Rude's booze and holding him at arms length as he downed half the bottle.

"And I'm Matsudara Fubuki!" Yuffie said cheerfully, ignoring the dull pain throbbing in her side and wishing very much she could lie down.

"Good t' meetcha, gorgeous." Charlie replied, tossing a wink Yuffie's way: apparently, he's into the sixteen year old ninja-klepto type.

"Real nice, Charlie." Jayden snorted, pushing past him, "At least let them get in the door."

"I **_did_**." He retorted, pausing to cup his sibling's chin in his hand and inspected her eyes closely, "…you might wanna think about taking those things off. Your eye's swellin' up.

"Probably a good idea." Jayden sighed, rubbing the side of her face, "I'll take care of that in a bit. Right now, I need to show these guys where they'll be sleeping."

"Alright." Charlie replied, "Not too much later tho', got it?"

"Got it, got it, got it." Jayden replied, rolling her eyes before motioning to the game characters made real over her brother's shoulder, "C'mon dudes. Lets motor."

* * *

Cloud pushed himself off the wall and took the lead, the need to get some answers gnawing away at his insides. 

The others followed close behind, following the girl up the stairs to the first room on the right. She flipped the light switch, causing the track lighting to burst to life, blinding after the dimly lit kitchen.

"First of all, everyone get comfortable." Jayden said awkwardly, wishing there was a way to magic her dirty underwear to the laundry room downstairs and out of sight of the male characters, but alack alas that was a far off dream.

Yuffie was allowed first dibs and sprawled out on the sofa with a tired sigh, Tifa took a seat on a desk chair while Cloud remained standing, leaning against the desk next to her. The Turks took seats on the bed, leaving Vincent and Barrett with places on the floor.

"Okay now, let me get the PS2 out from under my bed." Jayden grunted, pushing Reno's legs out of her way as her upper half disappeared under the bed.

"Urgh…**_mmph_**…where…**izzit?** _OWWSHIT!_" Jayden hissed as she crawled back out, consol in hand, "_Damn, damn, damn_…what is it with me and hitting my **_head_** today?"

"What's that?" Rude asked as she crossed to the T.V. located about five feet from the foot of the bed and started plugging in connections.

"A PlayStation 2." She replied, unwinding the cord to the single controller attached to the game consol, "This is one of many things that is going to drive my case home."

She flipped on the television next and switched the PS2 to the ON position.

"Alright…now...watch." Jayden said hesitantly, sitting in such a way as she didn't block the screen.

The intro that she usually skipped started to play, but this time, she allowed it to run. It was necessary for Cloud, Tifa, Vincent…for everyone to see this. As much as her life sucked right now, she liked being alive. Very much. Yes the idea of being whacked didn't sit well with Jayden at all, so, just this once, she would sit through the two minute and three second intro.

"That was…that…" Cloud sputtered, eyes wide with shock as the intro concluded and switched over to the start up screen, "This is im**possible**. This **_has_** to be someone's idea of a** joke**."

"Cloud…" Tifa said gently, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze, "...you asked for proof…she **_gave_** it to you."

"It isn't enough." Vincent said shrewdly, "Anyone could have made that in their free time after recording one of our battles."

Jayden regarded the caped man coolly.

"I was afraid I was going to have to resort to this." She muttered, pulling off her backpack and digging around inside of it.

"I **told** you she was the enemy." Cloud snapped, darting to her just as she reveal not a concealed weapon as originally thought, but a laptop.

"…_shityou'refast._" Jayden squeaked, eyes wide as dinner plates as she sat down hard on the floor.

"Ease up there, man." Barrett said calmly, grabbing Cloud by the back of his shirt and pulling him away from their rather unwilling hostess as she herself scooched towards the closet door.

* * *

"Umm…okay. Now…I was…about to show you more proof, that was it." Jayden said shakily, opening the computer and logging onto the internet. 

"And how is that thing going to show us more proof and that you aren't full of s-" Reno's smartass remark was cut short when Rude ducked down, grabbed one of Jayden's dirtier socks off the floor and shoved it into his mouth.

"Oh, **_it'll_** show you. And a **lot** of it, you**_ aren't_** gonna like." Jayden muttered blandly as Reno started gagging, ripping the sock out of his mouth and swiping at his tongue with both hands as she hooked up her VAIO to the T.V. so that what she saw, they saw, "Okay. Final Fantasy Seven, fansites – go."

The page whited-out momentarily before loading up with-

"Ninety-three thousand results matching?" Yuffie remarked, looking impressed, "**Wow.**"

"Oh, it gets better." Jayden replied weakly, gluing her eyes to her kneecaps as unwanted heat began permeating her face, "A lot of these are Hentai, yaoi, yuri, Shoujo-ai and Shounen-ai sites."

"…what's all that mean?" Rude asked, pushing his shades back up his nose as Jayden rubbed her eyes.

"It means…oh god…don't make me say it." she groaned, slumping forward and burying her head in her arms, her face very, very red.

"What?" Tifa asked, abandoning her seat to attempt to peer at Jayden's face, "Is it something bad? Are they hate sites?"

"_N-no._" Jayden squeaked, unable to look at the woman from sheer embarrassment. She was a fangirl. A closet fangirl, yes, but still a fangirl. And like many fans, visited a **_LOT_** of those sites. And one of the best FFVII hentai's she had ever read was between Tifa and Rude.

She was also in favor of yaoi, and leaned towards VincentxCloud, RenoxRufus pairings. And that very fact about herself made her so thoroughly mortified that she couldn't look anyone currently sitting in her bedroom in the face.

"They can't be **that** bad." Reno commented, leaving his spot on the bed to double click on a yuri site of all things.

"Ohhhh my **GOD** **_EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!_**" Yuffie shrieked, hands flying over her eyes at the sight of Tifa, Aerith and herself having a three-way.

"**GROSS! _OHMIGOD!_**" Tifa screamed as Reno quickly exited the site and scrolled down to one that had his and Rude's name in it.

"Are they **all** like this?" he cried, clicking on this site to find an entry pic of Rude looking as though he wanted to eat his face, "**_HOLLEESHIT!_**"

Reno dropped the VAIO like it was a venomous snake and scurried behind an easy chair as though it would shield him from the evil images on the screen.

* * *

"I can't **believe** this!" Cloud thundered, looking at Jayden, who was now very red, shaking hard, and silently wishing she had a pen so that she might make out her will, "How can people just…just **_distort_** our images like this?" 

"_I dunno._" She squeaked, "B-but I know that I didn't want you clinking on any of those sites for that very reason. What I wanted to show you was this."

She double clicked on Square Enix's official Final Fantasy Seven website.

"Alright. See?" Jayden said, double clicking on the CHARACTERS header, "This is the company that made your game."

"Here we go. Cloud Strife. Age: 21. Height: 5' 7". Birthplace: Nibelheim." Jayden ticked off, reading the profile aloud, "The main character of Final Fantasy VII. Originally a member of SOLDIER, he is now a mercenary who will take any job. After being hired by AVALANCHE, he gradually gets caught up in a massive struggle for the life of the planet. His enormous sword can cut almost anything in two."

"Pretty nice dossier there, Cloud." Reno smirked as Jayden moved on to Barrett.

"Barrett Wallace. Age: 35. Height: 6' 5". Birthplace: Corel Village." She commented, "Head of the underground resistance movement, AVALANCHE. He's fighting the mega-conglomerate, Shinra, Inc. which has monopolized Mako energy, building special reactors to suck it out of the planet. Barret depends on brute strength and his "Gun-arm" to see him through. His wife died in an accident several years ago, and he now lives with his daughter Marlene."

"That's correct." Barrett remarked, hoping that Cait Sith and Red XIII were taking good care of his adoptive child as Jayden moved on.

"Tifa Lockhart. Age: 20. Height: 5' 5". Birthplace: Nibelheim." She stated, "Bright and optimistic, Tifa always cheers up the others when they're down. But don't let her face fool you, she can decimate almost any enemy with her fists. She is one of the main members of AVALANCHE. She and Cloud were childhood friends, and…Tifa I'll let you decide whether or not I should read this last bit out loud."

Tifa leaned forward and scanned the what was on screen, cheeks flooding with color as she read, "…although she has strong feelings for him, she will never admit it."

"…I don't think...that that's a good...idea." Tifa coughed, swallowing hard. Jayden nodded and moved right along to Vincent.

"Vincent Valentine. Age: 27. Height: 6' 0". Birthplace: Unknown." She said, leaning forward and rubbing her eyes again, "A mystical man, stern and upright while at the same time dark and mysterious. His past connection with Shinra is what made him join Cloud and the others. He may seem frail at first glance, but hidden inside his body lurks a fearsome power."

Vincent merely nodded, accepting this, giving Jayden the signal to move right along. Which she did, clicking on Yuffie's profile.

"Kisaragi Yuffie. Age: 16. Height: 5' 2". Birthplace: Wutai." She recited, "Although you'd never know if you looked at her, Yuffie comes from a long line of ninja ancestors. She forced herself into the group just to get a certain something... She's sneaky, arrogant and "way" selfish. But with her super shuriken and her special skills, there isn't anyone else you'd rather have on your side in a fight."

"Got **that** right." Yuffie said proudly.

"Yeah, about the arrogant and selfish part." Reno snorted, ducking casually as she chucked a pillow at his head as Jayden moved on to the Turks.

"Lessee…Tseng? Wont bother. He's not here. Same with Elena." She muttered, "Here we are. Reno. Age: 19. Height: 5' 6". Birthplace: Unknown. A young Turk that is highly skilled, and who — despite his lack of professionalism and less-than-serious nature — takes great pride in his job. He and Rude have been acquaintances for quite some time."

"Less than serious? Try, **_never_** **_serious_**." Yuffie grumped, a little irked at being called arrogant.

"Watch it." Reno growled.

"Both of you **stuff it**." Jayden snapped irritably, "Or, preferably, **_Rude_** will. There's a particularly large deposit of my sweat socks under the bed."

That stopped the bickering between them faster than a…a…a really, really…really fast thing? Oh shut up! It's a little thing called writers block!

"Alright. Now. Rude. Age: 20. Height: 5' 8". Birthplace: Unknown." Jayden read aloud, "A young man with a powerful build, he is often very quiet and does not socialize much. However, he is very protective of his colleagues, particularly Reno. Despite his mild manner, he is a very fierce and powerful fighter. Rude is always seen wearing sunglasses."

"Aint that the truth." Reno snorted, shaking his head, "The one time I manage to steal those things, I woke up in a hospital bed to the sounds of a heart monitor."

"And I hope it taught you a lesson, man." Rude said coolly, adjusting the glasses on his nose, "Don't mess with the shades."

* * *

"Ugh, I can't **take** this anymore." Jayden muttered, rubbing her eyes for a third time before switching herself away from the computer and looking straight at the ceiling, "It hurts too much." 

Without giving them anysort of warning, she pressed her index finger directly against her eye and pulled away what seemed to be, a layer of extra skin.

"Oh _**GROSS!**_" Yuffie gagged as Jayden calmly moved on to the other eye, "That is just **SICK!**"

"Huh? What is?" Jayden asked, looking slightly bewildered as she looked back down after peeling off another layer of skin from the other eye, "Don't you have contacts where you come from?"

"Contacts?" Barrett asked, as she calmly held out her hand, revealing a thin plastic disc with a ring of green around the outside edge and another that would ring around the iris, giving anyone with blue eyes the appearance of having Geostigma.

"Sorry. I didn't realize." Jayden smirked as she let loose an unmistakable snicker, wolfish eyes dancing, "Did I freak ya out much?"

"Well obviously." Cloud said, looking at the discs on her fingertips once last time before she tossed them both into the garbage.

"Ugh, I had to take them out. My eye is swelling from where Loz hit me." Jayden sighed, massaging the side of her face before peering into her wall mirror, "Eeulgh, burst blood vessels. Really attractive."

She turned away from the reflecting glass, marched up to Cloud so she was about three feet away, and crossed her arms across her front.

"So…still think I'm lying, Emo Boy?" she asked, tapping her foot.

"I want to…but after all you've shown us…it's hard to still believe you are." He muttered, looking and sounding totally lost, "I mean, I just can't…am I really nothing more than a figment of someone's imagination?"

"Hey, I bet it works the same way in your world, dude." Jayden said leaning against the wall with a sigh, "I'm almost positive that in your world, I'm the made up one. It has to work both ways, dude."

She pushed off the wall, walked around behind Cloud and started pushing him towards the door.

"But now isn't the time to mull over such things." Jayden said unsympathetically, forcing him towards the door, "It's late. I'm tired, and I have school tomorrow."

"Whoa, **_whoa_**!" Reno said, hopping off the bed, "Where are **we** supposed to sleep?"

"Tifa and Yuffie can sleep in my room." She ticked off, "Vincent, Barrett and Cloud can bunk in Kyle's room. He's out with his girlfriend and probably wont be home for a few days. You and Rude can stay in the guest room at the end of the hall."

With a final shove, she managed to push Cloud into the hall, Vincent, Rude, Reno, Barrett walking out under their own steam.

"Good ni-yaight." She said in a singsong voice, slamming the door behind them.

* * *

"This place…it's so vulnerable." Yazoo remarked, enjoying to crisp night air, "So prone to assault. It's almost laughable. They claim they're impervious…but I beg to differ." 

"They're all so tiny from up here, brother." Loz said in quiet awe, staring down from the immense edifice of the skyscrapers beneath him, "They build these massive structures to compensate for their own weakness."

"It's really quite sad." Kadaj remarked, taking in all the sleeping bodies within the colossal building, "So many insignificant little beings poured so much energy into constructing this…all for nothing."

All three shared a simultaneous look and Yazoo smirked wickedly, unleashing Velvet Nightmare in all of it's fury upon the building.

The people inside the building didn't even know they had died as the building exploded into flames, crumbling into itself, like a child's collapsible light saber (weird analogy, I know, but all I can think of right now)

Kadaj, laughing hysterically, flew at the structure directly across from the former apartment complex, unsheathing Souba and slicing the building into ten equal parts, taking delight as the pieces slid into the inferno created by his elder brother.

Loz powered up his Dual Hound and began pounding away at a third building, relishing the feeling of the impacts pulsing through his knuckles up through his arm, a strange sensation close to pain.

Soon the building's let loose a mournful groan as it's foundation gave way, tipping over and adding fuel to the inferno.

"That ought to draw out our brother." Yazoo said with a smirk, "Come. Let us retire for the night."

"Yes." Kadaj nodded, Loz hot on his heels as the Remnant Trio disappeared into the night.

* * *

_"Breaking News – A horrific attack in downtown Seattle has left thousands dead and even more injured."_

"How **awful**." Mikayla Schwartz yawned, Charlie looking rather annoyed and sleep deprived as he chewed on a bit of toast.

"She slept walked again?" Jayden asked, raising an eyebrow as she joined the two at the table.

"Yeah." Charlie replied irritably, "**_Alllll_** the way to Bothell this time. I was out all night looking."

"I **said** I was **_sorry_**." Mikayla replied, coloring bright pink, "I just forgot to put the **bell** around my ankle! That's all!"

"It's the third time this month, mom!" Charlie cried, throwing his hands into the air, "Ah, **_forget_** it. Hey, J.D., where are th' exchange students?"

"Sleeping." She replied shortly, "I'll wake'm up before I go, tho'. They had a...rough night."

"It's always difficult adjusting to a new place." Mikayla said with an understanding smile, "I'm sure they'll adjust quickly enough, though."

_"Oh, I don't think that's ever going to happen."_ Jayden thought, _"And with any luck? I'll be shipping them back to Midgar faster than a fat man after a velour jogging suit."_

* * *

(A/N: School time! The group, not entirely trusting of Jayden yet, decides to follow her to school. What fun! How will they manage to pass themselves off as students and not be recognized by their massive fan following? R&R!)


	4. Wake Up Call!

(A/N: Wow...you guys RAWK! I didn't think my story would go over this well! But I'm glad it has. I'm really glad you all agree that everyone's staying in character! And with that, onward and upward peeps!)

* * *

"**_Chewy!_** C'mere pupper-dog." Jayden called into the backyard, bringing the giant canine bounding towards the sliding glass door.

Chewbacca somehow managed to bring himself to a screeching halt at the door, wagging his tail vigorously as he waited for the signal to be allowed into the house.

"C'mon Big Boy!" Jayden said, slapping both thighs, letting the huge dog inside, "Wanna help me with wake up the exchange students? Do ya? **Do** ya?"

The Great Dane positively wriggled in delight at the sound of Jayden's heckling, flopping onto his back and righting himself twice.

"**_Okay!_** Let's go wake'm up then." She said cheerfully, slapping her thigh as an indication that Chewbacca should follow, "C'mon, boy! Whose gonna wake up the lazy bums?"

Chewbacca bumped her hand with his nose and licked the knee of her jeans, letting loose a loud whine.

They reached the top of the stairs and Jayden let the massive horse of a dog wander past her.

"Chewbacca?" she said, a smirk appearing on her lips and her fingers disappearing into her ears, "**Wake Up Call!**"

The huge creature let loose a howl at the command and started thundering up and down the hallway, barking loudly and letting loose a loud braying howl every few seconds.

The door to the guest room flew open, Reno following its progression, looking very beleaguered as he fell into the hallway to be fully roused by a rather foul smelling saliva bath – courtesy of Chewy.

Rude, who apparently slept with his shades on, came very close to tripping over his partner and nearly making a reality out of that fan pic that had haunted his nightmares all night long.

The door with stolen road signs hammered to it swung open and Cloud stumbled out, only making it about two steps before he was woken in a similar fashion to Reno…but at least Reno had managed to keep his mouth shut (poor guy)

Barrett slouched in the doorway, leaning against its frame, his eyelids sliding down…down…downnnnnn…then **_FLYING_** open and rapidly blinking as he fought to stay awake.

Vincent walked past Cloud, stepped on Reno's hand and went straight for the bathroom at the end of the hall without a word to anyone. Apparently this guy sleeps well no matter what world he's in and didn't get up once during the night.

The door to Jayden's room, so thoroughly covered with tasteless humor stickers all hope of finding the pine beneath it was lost, swung open and Tifa, rubbing her eyes blearily, and Yuffie, yawning loudly from her spot on the couch could be seen.

* * *

"What th' **hell** was that?" She asked groggily, catching Yuffie's case of the yawns and loosing one herself, "Are we under attack?" 

"Not at all." Jayden said from her right, looking far to happy for her own good as she leaned against the stair railing, "I just thought I would inform you that despite whatever plans you guys have, I'm going to school now."

She allowed her gaze to linger on Cloud who was trying his best to keep from blowing up and hurling the large creature currently giving him a tongue bath, off.

"Chewy? Down." Jayden sighed, knowing better than to endanger her pet for her own amusement, "I know he needs a shower, and you're intentions are well placed, but you need to stop now."

"Well I wouldn't **_need_** one if **that** thing hadn't **_drooled_** all over me." Cloud said indignantly as Chewbacca bounded joyfully away from him and down the stairs.

"Well Chewy can't help it." Jayden simpered in an overexaggerated tone, batting her eyelashes at Cloud, "He just wubs yoo ta itty bitty bits."

"Okay, do me a favor and never, **ever** do that again." Reno shuddered, wiping his face off with one hand in an attempt to rid himself of the non-existent dog slobber, "Way creepy. Especially with your right eye all blue and red and blotchy like that."

"Then I have done my job." Jayden replied, shaking her head and quaking in silent laughter as Vincent exited the bathroom…without turning the fan on, allowing a scent comparable to a truckload of manure to waft out after him.

"Dude? I live with two guys, and that is **_STILL_** gross." She remarked, wrinkling her nose from the stench of the…gift the gunslinger had left in her bathroom, "Seriously, you drop some friends off at the pool, ya turn on the freakin' fan."

Ducking past him, she flipped on the fan, opened the window and shut the door.

Barrett had fallen asleep standing up, which rendered unable to fully appreciate the stink…as well as nothing to offer to the conversation except a rather loud snore.

Yuffie ran both hands back through her hair and wrinkled her nose, trying to remember where she had kicked her boots off the night before. Apparently, she's not much of an early morning conversationalist either.

Rude, also not the most loquacious of early morning raconteurs, removed his shades momentarily to rub his eyes and let loose a yawn before replacing them.

It was a strange sight to the closet gamer. She had only seen these characters in full battle mode, guns blazing, swords flashing, fists flying…never with drowsy eyes, sleep rumpled clothes and bad case of bed head.

Jayden didn't have long to think upon this however, as her thoughts were interrupted by the melodious, clarion call of Charlie's 1967 Volkswagen Bus.

**_-HANN-HANN-HANN-HANN-HANNNNNNNN-_**

"**HEY! _JAYDEN_!**" he bellowed out the driver's side window, "**GET A _MOVE_ _ON_, RUNT! YOU'RE MAKING ME _LATE_ FOR _WORK_!**"

"I'm **COMING**, _**CHARLIE**!_" she yelled, hopping onto the railing and sliding down, landing at it's base with a thump, "**GROW SOME _PATIENCE_ IDIOT!**"

She looked up at the many characters at the top of the stairs looking down at her.

"I'm heading out now." Jayden said calmly, hefting her backpack over her shoulder and opening the door.

"We're going with you." Rude shot back, having been fully roused by those words apparently.

"I'm leaving – now." Jayden said in a saccharinely sweet tone that indicated the discussion was over, "I'm going to be late if I hang around any more, and I don't' have time to wait for all of you to shower and dress."

"Well then **make** time." Barrett shot back, the volume of Rude's words having ripped him from a particularly nice dream in which he was teaching Marlene to ride her first Chocobo.

"Hey, whether or not you follow me is entirely up to you." Jayden shrugged, striding towards the door, "Just do it on your own time. I'm gone."

"W-wait!" Tifa cried, leaning out the doorway, "How are we supposed to find you?"

"If you're able to locate the Remnants all those times, finding lil' ole me shouldn't be that much of a problem, now should it." Jayden remarked, opening the door.

She took a step out, and paused to look up at them.

"But a word to the wise – if you are gonna follow me? Get some new duds." Jayden snorted shaking her head laughingly, "Stay in those outfits and you're **_so_** gonna get mobbed."

That said, she strolled out the door as the horn sounded again, Charlie shouting at her to get the lead out.

* * *

After the sound of the engine pealing away faded, the AVALANCHE group and the Turk duo were left with the lingering question hanging over their heads. 

"So…what's our next move?" Yuffie asked drowsily, having located her boots; she had kicked them beneath the desk and with a few tugs, managed to free them.

"We go after her obviously." Cloud said, leaning against the wall, wishing the sour dog slobber taste would disappear from his mouth, "There's just something about her I still don't entirely trust."

"Naturally." Reno snorted, stretching his arms above his head in an attempt to rid himself of an unwanted crick that had developed over night, "But you heard the lady, we can't be seen outside in these."

"So? All we have to do is raid the closets!" Yuffie cried, the crazed gleam of kleptomania sparking in her eyes, "The guys just have to borrow clothes from the guys closet while we raid Jayden's and her mom's."

"Why her mom?" Tifa asked, looking slightly surprised at the thief's wanton behavior.

"Think about it, Tifa." Vincent replied coolly, "The Schwartz girl is very petite, like Kisaragi. She has a lean build and she's not exactly as…well equipped as you your self are."

"I get it." Tifa muttered, cheeks flushing pink, "Her shirts wont fit me, and I'm too tall to fit into any of her pants or skirts without it looking strange."

"Yeah, yeah. It's a nightmare." Yuffie snorted, rolling her eyes as she opened Jayden's closet, "Being so well endowed must such a misery for you."

"Knock it off." Barrett interjected, stopping the cat fight before it could start, "Dress now, argue later, alright?"

With that, he re-entered Kyle's room, grabbed two handfuls of random clothing and heaved them at the men slouching about the hallway.

"If we're gonna do this, then this is a good start." He said serenely, moving off to Charlie's room to find clothing that would fit his frame better.

* * *

"Alright. Now…to track her down." Cloud said, now dressed in a Red Hot Chili Peppers band tee over a long sleeved white shirt and faded black jeans, "How are going to go about this?" 

"How about the laptop?" Tifa suggested, redressed in a forest green top and blue jeans and gesturing towards the VAIO, still linked to the T.V. from the night before.

"Right. Just one problem." Rude said calmly, now in a tan shirt that read _'The Restraining Order Said Twenty Feet'_ and black jeans, "We don't even know the name of this city, let alone the schools."

"Well, I think what we should do is try a search for schools within a ten miles." Vincent said, looking a bit uncomfortable without his cape as he shifted foot to foot in a red sweater and dark blue jeans, "It should turn up something we can work with."

"Well, at least it's a good place to start." Reno remarked, redressed in an Invader Zim sweatshirt that read, _'It's Not Stupid – It's Advanced'_ across the front and tight black jeans as he took a seat in front of the computer, still online and on the Google homepage, "Okay…high schools within ten miles – go."

"…only one." Yuffie whistled, now in, not that she knew it, one of Jayden's favorite outfits: a red, corset style mini that went up the waist and flared out like a ballerina's tutu at the skirt over a black and white striped long sleeve shirt.

"Monroe High School." Barrett read aloud, redressed in a faded blue t-shirt over a white tank with khakis, "Not too far from here. Only about five miles."

"Well, get the directions so we'll at least have some idea where we're going." Cloud said, leaning over Reno's shoulder to read the route instructions that pooped up on screen, "This thing doesn't have a printer, so we'll have to memorize and hope for the best."

* * *

"Hey J.D.! You're actually here." Mandie Simmons remarked in obvious surprise, "You gonna sit through the period with me? Or abandon me like usual?" 

"Hmm…lemme think…" Jayden said thoughtfully, sitting on the desk across from one of her best friends, "Sit through boring lecture…collect homework and leave…sit through boring lecture…get homework and l-"

"You're no fun." Mandie pouted, slouching forward on her elbows, "At least if you stayed in class instead of hiding out in the library we could talk."

"But it's primarily because we talk that you keep getting detention." Jayden pointed out, "I like my current arrangement, even if I only get to see you guys during lunches."

"I swear, why dya hafta be sucha **_goody-goody_** when it comes to schoolwork?" Alexa Dahlwood moped, plopping down next to Mandie, "You have to be the **only** **one** in school who turns everything in."

"And that's why they cut me such slack." Jayden pointed out, "The teachers would complain about me skipping classes if I shirked on my assignments, but I always turn in my homework on time and get a B plus or better."

"Know it all." Mandie said grumpily.

"**_Hey!_** **Watch it!**" Jayden said touchily, "I'll have you know that I positively **_loathe_** math with a **fiery** **_passion!_** There aren't **words** to convey the degree my hatred for that **_freakin'_** subject!"

"And yet…you're still passing with a B plus." Alexa groused.

"Minus." Jayden corrected.

"**What_ever_, smartypants!**" They both cried, poking her sides causing her to yelp and jerk backwards so far that she fell off the desk.

"…you ok, J.D.?" Mandie asked meekly, peering over the edge of her desk at Jayden, who was currently staring at the ceiling.

"Yuh…my head really hurts tho'." She remarked, deciding to wait until the room stopped spinning before sitting up.

"Y'sure you're okay?" Alexa asked, squatting down to get a better look, and holding up her thumb, index and middle finger, "Quick – how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two. Th' thumb aint a finger." Jayden snorted, feeling steady enough to pull herself upright with the help of a neighboring desk.

"**_Damn_**. Thought you had her that time." Mandie tsked, snapping her fingers in frustration.

"Taking advantage of a head injury…nice." Jayden smirked as she dusted herself off.

"We do our best." The two said modestly, batting their eyelashes.

"I'll see you two at lunch, kay?" Jayden called over her shoulder as she made to exit the classroom.

"Gotcha!" the cried, waving furiously at her as she left the Senior English room, homework in hand.

She hadn't taken five steps out of the room however, before a message rang out over the intercom:

"_JAYDEN SCHWARTZ TO THE OFFICE. JAYDEN SCHWARTZ TO THE OFFICE._"

_"Crap. Carrie DeMarco musta figured out I was th' one who switched out her shampoo with orange hair dye."_ Jayden thought to herself with a sigh, _"Ah well, it was good while it lasted."_

She made her way to the office, ready for her fate to be sealed, when she was greeted by a most unexpected sight…but really, it was a sight she should have anticipated.

"Ah, **there** you are." Debra Fielding, the secretary said warmly upon her arrival, "It seems as though your exchange students got a late start, hm?"

Allowing her gaze to travel over the wardrobe she recognized as that of her family member, pausing on Yuffie as she noted with agony how much better her favorite outfit looked on the CG girl.

"As part of your duties as a host, you'll need to show them around." Debra said amiably, "Give them the general lay of the land. You know – the works."

"Right, right." Jayden said, massaging the bridge of her nose, trying make herself believe that yes, these people actually **_WERE_** this paranoid about her, and yes, they **WERE** dressed in her family's wardrobe, and finally, yes, they **_HAD_** followed her to school.

"Well then, I'll let you get started." Debra said with a smile, turning to answer the phone, leaving Jayden to deal with the Square Enix characters.

"Well you heard the lady." Reno smirked, shoving his hands in his pockets as loomed over her in a somewhat intimidating fashion, "Show us the ropes."

"Fine." Jayden ground out, shoving past him with a sigh, "Don't expect much though, okay?"

* * *

(1) The schooling situation above is based off one of my best friends (the lucky bastard) he just shows up before class to let the teacher know he's there, grabs the work, and goes off to wherever itis he hides out.

* * *

(A/N: The FFVII characters manage to make it through the day with out being recognize...but lose track of Jayden. Where did she disappear to? How will Charile react? And what are the Remnants up to? R&R!)


	5. One Two, Skip to My Loo

(A/N: Sorry that I was late in posting this. I stayed up till one getting it done and didn't have it in me to edit and post it. You mad? Anyway,now that I've apologized: READ ON!)

* * *

"And that about covers it. There really isn't much to see." Jayden concluded as they made their way to the lunchroom, "Any questions?" 

"I have one." Yuffie asked, staring out the double doors leading outside, "Why isn't anyone breaking up that fight?"

"**Hwuh?**" Jayden blinked looking in the same direction to find Tyler Wessels (football player) and Todd Lotzgazel (goth), beating the absolute crap out of each other, "Ah, they will eventually. See? Here comes security."

A pair of uniformed police officers pushed their way through the crowds of people and dashed out the double doors, wrenching both boys apart.

"Stupid." Jayden sighed, shaking her head as she motioned for the game characters made real to follow her up the stairs, "Why does everyone seem to forget there are cameras everywhere in this school?"

"Really?" Tifa asked, a little surprised. She hadn't seen anything remotely resembling a security camera since she had arrived on the premises.

"Yuh." Jayden said shortly, indicating what looked like a round, black light fixture protruding ever so slightly from the ceiling over their heads.

Cloud noticed to his amazement that these minute, stationary cameras lined the halls in two-and-a-half-foot intervals.

"**_Wow_**…you don't really notice'm unless you're lookin' for'em, huh?" Reno remarked, waving up at one of the cameras he currently stood under.

"I guess." Jayden replied with a shrug, spotting her friends, and smiling at them as they walked over to join them for lunch.

She was bit nervous about sitting with her friends today. The whole lot of them were hardcore gamers and otaku. For them to not recognize the AVALANCHE group and the Turk pair would be a small miracle.

Jayden muttered a quick prayer that their "REAL" world looks and clothing would be enough to throw her friends off; it was all she could do…that, and lie through her teeth if necessary.

* * *

"**Woo _baby!_** Abel Knox is no longer at the top of my top one hundred hunks list!" Lindsay Kimbal whistled, looking Rude up and down, before shooting a jealous look at Jayden, "I don't know **what** you were complaining about, these guys are _**HOT!**_ What's your name?" 

Randi Nyeberg smacked Lindsey across the back of the head playfully, "Dumbass! Don't be so forward! That's how you ended up scaring Howie Long off!"

"God, would guys cool it?" Valerie Klein snorted, poking Randi in the small of the back with her toe, "Why don't you start by introducing yourselves, smart ones?"

"That would be a good starting point wouldn't it?" Katrina Dalton smirked as she unwrapped her sandwich, "I guess I'll get the ball rolling. I'm Katrina. Call me that and your dead. It's just Kati."

"I'm Mandie. Everyone here calls me Man-Die tho'." Mandie snickered, waving so furiously at her boyfriend, Mitchell 'Moose' Rodriguez as he joined the group that her purple/pink/blue braids smacked her in the face .

"I'm Alexa, but I'm known to these weirdo's by my Fanfic pen name, Yasashii." Alexa said cheerfully, popping Bugels's on the ends of her fingertips like claws, her green hair falling into her face as she declared, "Oh yeah, I **AM** the new Freddie Krueger."

"I'm Randi with an I." Randi said, twisting a dark blue dyed curl around her finger as a slow, somewhat devious smirk, "All though I **_am_** sometimes randy with a Y given the right person."

Reno snickered at the word play and Rude, Vincent and Cloud shook their heads at the shameful behavior.

"I'm Valerie. Just call me Val I guess." Valerie shrugged, bringing her foot down on Moose's hand as he attempted to steal a poppy seed muffin from her lunch bag, "You get one warning – steal my food, I take a limb as compensation."

"And this is Mitchell. We call'em Moose cause of the way he lumbers around like one." Man-die grinned, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, "He mah snuggly-buggly-boo."

"He's a **thief**, that's what he is." Valerie grumbled, tugging her lunch bag so that it was out of his reach behind her back.

"And _**I'm**_ Lindsey! Just call me Lin!" Lindsey grinned, punching the air with her fist…effectively sending the Golfish crackers contained within the open Ziploc she held flying through the air, "**Look!** It's snowing!" she commented

"Well? How about you?" Moose asked, situating himself next to Mandie, and accepting the fries she offered him, "What dyou go by?"

"I'm Tiffany Hart, and this is Aiden Fischer." Tifa said, motioning to Cloud, "The girl to my right is Matsudara Fubuki and the two behind her are Denzel Clarke and Armand Taber. The red-head with the cocky smirk is Keith Machado and the guy next to him in the shades is Deangelo Marks."

"Nice to meet you." Lindsay smiled, rolling back then flipping herself onto her feet…right in front of Rude, "You're **_really_** cute."

Rude, blinked at her from behind his shades and felt the instinctual urge to get away, comparable to that of a mouse cornered by a good-sized tomcat…not that had to worry about it long as Randi yanked Lindsey back down.

"Cool it." she snorted, letting her gaze fall on Cloud, a smirk appearing on her lips, "You remind me of a blond Ephraim Ellis."

"I don't know why, but I'm suddenly not hungry anymore." Jayden muttered, tossing a rather disgusted look at her friends as they drooled over the male members of the FFVII cast.

So they were good looking – big, **fuckin'** deal. They were CG and not real. They would be returning to their rightful place in the game soon enough…at least, that's what Jayden **_HOPED_** anyway.

While Jayden mulled over this, Reno took the opportunity to snatch up her abandoned lunch and start chowing down on the leftover pizza she had packed.

While having dressed for the trip, they AVALANCHE group and Turks had forgotten one crucial detail: they make you **PAY** for food at school.

Seeing as they hadn't bother to make one at their unwilling caretaker's home, and were almost positive their rate of currency wouldn't fly here, they were in quite a spot of a bother…well, everyone but Reno at least, who had just finished poolishing off Jayden's Hostess cupcake, even taking the time to lick off the crumbs stuck to the cardboard display plate.

It turned out, though, that Jayden had very generous friends, as, after noting their lack of lunchage, took the time to pool all of their food together and split it evenly between everybody present…except for Jayden, who simply said that she was trying to work on an ulcer and didn't wish to be disturbed.

* * *

"…I haven't heard of **_any_** of these authors." Vincent murmured, scrolling along the spines of a section of the shelves devoted to nothing but Stephen King section. 

"Well, it aint no big surprise." Barrett remarked, lounging at a nearby table with Yuffie and Rude, "Different world, different books."

"Any luck yet?" Cloud asked Tifa, whose fingers were currently flying over the keyboard of the ancient library keyboard.

"**Lots** actually, but whenever I try to access any information, I get this." Tifa scowled, demonstrating by double-clicking on the previous link, to be greeted by the Symantec Security System.

"Keep trying." he sighed, moving to join Yuffie and Barrett.

You see, Cloud had asked Tifa to look up information on Sephiroth and the Remnants. It was the logical thing to do. After all, this place had info on everyone else, why not them.

And while successful, with thousands of sites popping up with information, this school appeared to have installed a very annoying firewall into their system.

"Reno…what are you doing?" Rude asked suddenly, breaking the silence of the library as he notice his partner reading a magazine and snickering far too much for it too be anything good.

"Just brushing up on my culture." He replied, revealing the comic strips contained within the book with the name 'Garfield' splashed across the front, "I can really relate t' this guy, y'know? He hates Mondays."

"…he's a cartoon cat." Yuffie said scathingly, before looking thoughtful and replying, "Although…I suppose you do make a point. Nobody likes Mondays."

"Hey…I haven't seen Scwhartz in awhile. Any idea where she is?" Barrett asked, looking about the library.

"She was just here a second ago." Yuffie said, standing up sudeenly, instantly regretting the action as a piercing pain raced through her side, "_Shit!_ Why am I still hurt? I should've healed by now!"

"I don't know." Tifa replied, eyes darting around the library as she spoke, "A lot of things work differently here. Maybe that's one of them."

"We can think about that later." Vincent murmured, "We need to focus on finding the girl."

"Maybe she just went to the john." Reno suggested.

"Maybe." Tifa said uncertainly, "Yuffie and I will check the nearby restrooms, the rest of you should check out everywhere else."

"On it." Rude said, rising from his seat with a groan; he had just gotten comfortable and was a bit stiff.

* * *

On any other occasion, this act of paranoia probably would of sent Jayden over the edge, flying into a fit of screaming, punching, biting, kicking…basically, behavior that, when dealing with these people, would undoubtedly get her killed. 

But this time, their suspicion of her was exactly what she needed, as she was currently surrounded by several of the Ultra Preps that attended her School…one of whom who just happened to be Carrie DeMarco.

Her hair was no longer the day-glo orange it had been two days prior, however…

"**_Heh heh heh_**…you still have orange roots." Jayden snickered, laughing despite the obvious severity of the situation.

"**Stuff it, Schwartz!**" Carrie shot back, cheeks flaming pink, as one of her Ultra Prep posse to her right slowly brought up a hand to inspect her hair…which she quickly smacked away.

"Aw, you treat your subordinates **_so_** nicely." Jayden remarked, folding her arms across her front, "So DeMarco…what's the occasion? You suddenly turn Bi and wanna ask me out or something?"

"**_EWW!_** **No!**" the brunette fumed, looking positively disgusted, "**_Urrgh_**, you think you're all **badass** and shit because you pulled off **_one_** stupid prank! I'm here t' remind you who runs this school."

"…the school board?" Jayden supplied dully, shrugging her shoulders as she thought, _"Apparently Airy-Fairy Carrie still hasn't found the little surprise I left in her trunk."_

"**I **rule this school, **_skank_**." Carrie spat, green eyes flashing dangerously as she took a step forward and forced Jayden back against the porcelain tiled wall, "Don't think I got to where I am by always making nice-nice either."

_"Don't I know it, y' man-stealing bitch."_ Jayden thought bitterly, trying not to think about Hans, the one Carrie had taken from her just because she couldn't stand seeing Jayden happy for some reason.

"Are you going to get to the point so I can go to the bathroom?" Jayden sighed, digging her pinky into her ear to remove som excess wax," Or would you prefer I piss all over the floor and ruin, what appears to be from where I'm standing, a brand new pair of Prada shoes?"

"**_YEEEEEEEEEW!_** **Ugh!** You are just **_too_** disgusting!" Carrie shrieked as Jayden reminded herself to thank Kyle for that one.

"Jayden, you in here?"

"Ugh, just don't mess with Schwartz." Carrie spat, glaring at Jayden as Tifa and Yuffie entered the bathroom, "I've got my eye on you!"

"Really? Won't it dry out?" Jayden asked mildly, chewing on a hangnail as Carrie let loose a frustrated shriek and stormed out of the bathroom, her posse following after.

"What was **that** all about?" Yuffie asked, watching as the last of the Ultra Preps vacated the restroom.

"Oh, the usual. Her hating my overall existence, warning me to not mess with her even tho' it's **_so_** easy and **so** much fun." Jayden smirked, entering a stall and loosing a relieved sigh as she finally…well…relieved herself.

"You **_can't_** do that again." Tifa scolded as she exited the stall and walked to the sink to wash her hands, "You **can't** just wander off without telling us."

"Of course." Jayden replied cheerlessly, ripping off a paper towel, "Because **_my_** life is no longer my own…wait…I didn't **have** a life before you guys came along. Never mind."

"Oh don't think of it **_that_** way." Yuffie said, trying to think of some positive outcome of this situation: they were mooching off her family, intruding in her life, watching her twenty-four seven…she didn't have much to work with.

"Once things get a bit less…**chaotic**…you'll have a lot more freedom." Tifa said reassuringly, "That's a promise."

"My brother once promised me that he'd bring me the head of Barney the Dinosaur on a pike for my birthday." Jayden said dully, "That was four years ago and still no evil, purple dinosaur head impaled on a spear."

Tifa and Yuffie shot each other worried glances: apparently their attempts to lift her spirits weren't working all that well.

"So, um…anything else happening today we should prep for?" Yuffie asked as they re-entered the library, where the Turks and male members of the AVALANCHE team had re-grouped.

"Just my after-school job at B&R." Jayden said sulkily, taking a seat at the empty table across from the game characters and slumping forward dismally, "I expect you're gonna follow me there, sit around and do nothing for four hours and then follow me home again, huh?"

"Sheesh, you don't have to make it sound like your marching off to your death." Reno snorted.

"We were actually planning to only send **_one_** of us with you." Vincent said, looking slightly annoyed at her near correct assessment, "The rest of us were going to stay behind and do research at your residence."

"Great. Well, that makes me feel a **lot** better." Jayden said sarcastically, "Oh **_gosh_** and **golly** _**gee**_, I feel as free as a **bird** now."

* * *

"Brother…**_look_** at them all." Loz murmured, eyes round as saucers at the sight before him, "It's **amazing**." 

"It's impossible." Yazoo snapped coolly, "There is no way that this is genuine. None of them smells or fells like mother."

"But that **_hair_**-" Loz protested, gesturing to the hundreds of silver haired head that meandered through the crowd.

"-means nothing." Kadaj interjected, looking very irritated as he spotted one of the silver haired people holding a near perfect replica of Souba.

From their position up in the girders, you'd think that no one would ever spot them…but this is Sakura-Con, Seattle's largest gathering of anime fans, meaning they were bound to get sniffed out eventually…and they were…by someone doing an absolutely horrific cosplay of Youko Kurama (when you have a beer gut, stay away from bishi cosplays…please?)

"**OH MY _GOD!_**" he yelled pointing frantically towards the ceiling although, why his gaze had been drawn there in the first place, no one could be sure; must be his otaku-sense tingling.

Hearing the loud cry over all the hustle and bustle, everyone turned to look at this loon, following his gaze and promptly dropped their jaws and shopping bags on the floor, scattering anime paraphernalia everywhere.

"**_THE SILVER HAIRED TRIO!_**" A girl dressed as Sailor Moon shrieked, letting loose a trademark fangirl squeal.

"It's really **them?**"

"Aint no way it isn't!"

"Is Sephiroth with'em?"

"Don't be a retard. Kadaj is still here."

The Remnant, who, uptil a few moments before, felt relatively safe, now were feeling a bit concerned as the rabid fans attempted to reach their level…by what ever means possible, including, and not limited to, shimmying out on the banner stretched near the ceiling.

"Let's get out of here." Kadaj said, feeling a strange twisting feeling in the pit of his stomach (never experience panic before), "They've all gone **_mad_**."

* * *

"Charlie, would you relax?" Jayden said in frustration after the FFVII characters had regaled him with how their day had gone…including the bit where she had vanished, "I was **not** trying to **_ditch_** them." 

"Uh-huh…right." Charlie snorted, rolling his eyes as he rounded a corner, "**I** believe you."

"Since _**when**_ did it become a crime to go to the bathroom?" Jayden muttered, slouching low in her seat sulkily.

"You sure you weren't just planning your Senior prank?" Charlie asked, tapping his fingers impatiently as they came to a red light.

"I've had that planned since June." Jayden shot back.

"Your wrinkling your uniform." He teased, poking her stomach making her squeak and sit bolt upright.

"Yeah I know. And I don't care." Jayden scowled, folding her arms over her front, "It's black. No one will notice."

"**_I_** noticed." Charlied retorted, poking her side again…earning him a punch in the bicep.

"Knock it off." she growled, trying to ignore the snickers coming from the back seat, "Look were here, so just let me and Tiffan-"

"Actually, we had a group meeting, and my skills are needed back at the house." Tifa said with a weak smile, "So…Keith is going with you."

"Lovely." Jayden said tiredly, as she thought with some annoyance, _"Now I have to contend with customers and keeping Reno out of the ice cream."_

* * *

(A/N: Reno nearly get's Jayden fired. The group gathers information on Sephiroth and the Remanants attacks get closer to Jayden's hometown. R&R!) 


	6. Ice Cream Soup

(A/N: Sorry this one's so late. I didn't get an opportunity to get on the computer until ten at night. Sorry. So, without further adieu, READ ON!)

* * *

"_Will you knock it OFF Keith?_" Jayden hissed, spitting out the assumed name with extra rancor to draw the attention of the red-haired Turk away from the fifth free sample of Oreo Cookie Crunch he was helping himself to. 

Blinking at her with an expression of consideration on his face, chewing on the end of the pink plastic spoon in his mouth, Reno quickly sucked the last dribbles off the disposable utensil, making a face at her.

"You **really** need to lighten up, ya know?" he snorted, taking a seat at one of the tables and switching his feet on top of it, "You'd think being surrounded by all this ice cream would make you a little sweeter."

Jayden responded to this comment by chucking a take out cup at his head. It missed the mark of course as Reno dodged aside with the barest of movements, but at least the action had brought her a little relief frrom the building stress welling up with in her chest.

_"Lord…look at me."_ She thought irritably to herself as she wiped off the counter, currently sticky with melted ice cream leftover from lunch shift that no one had bothered to clean, _"I'm never this wound up…usually. What happened to the easy-going me? I'm becoming my mother for chrissakes!"_

She didn't have long to linger on her vaguely troubled thoughts as a customer and his son walked in…followed swiftly there after by the afternoon rush, pouring in like middle aged women after sale prices.

Ah, yes, the afternoon rush. Consisting of wives and/or husbands driving in to pick up the ice cream cake they ordered for the birthday/anniversary party they were throwing, mothers or fathers treating their kids after a game, just because, etc., or adults treating themselves just because they needed the instantaneous sugar induced relief.

While dealing with all this chaos, Jayden didn't happen to notice Reno rise from his seat, meander over to the barrier that separated the seating area from the prep and storage area, lift it, cross through it, close it after him, and wander into the back.

But an hour later, after the rush was over, while not noticing yet that he was gone, Jayden did happen to become aware of the fact that the container of Rocky Road in the display freezer was empty and so, went into the back.

She grabbed a thick parka off a hook on the wall and sighed. Jayden never did like going into the walk in freezer. She always started shiverung after a matter of seconds, coat or not, and now she was probably going to be searching for a good fifteen minutes to find the right container of ice cream, whilst her hair became a hairspray flavored ice pop.

Hovever, Jayden's original endeavor was instantly banished from her mind the second she entered the walk-in, though, as the sight of Reno, surrounded by the only three tubs of Rocky Road in the store – which were now EMPTY by the way - greeted her eyes far too cheerfully.

"…I'm in trouble…right?" he asked lamely as Jayden, so angry you practically taste it in the air itself, stormed forward, grabbed hold of his ponytail and yanked him out of the freezer by it.

"**OW_OW_OW!**" Reno cried, flailing his arms a bit as he was dragged out of the prep area and into the seating area where she shoved him rather forcefully into a chair.

"**You**…**_sit_**…**move**…**_die_**." Jayden managed to force out through gritted teeth, eyes flashing and face turning red from trying not to explode with rage, her entire body trembling with fury.

Reno was mildly surprise. He had only seen one other person get that angry…and it was Rude, the day he had managed to get his trademark sunglasses away from him...and accidently dropped them down the garbage chute.

* * *

Cahrlie's loud booming laugh startled the CG characters made real for the fifth time. The man on couch was currently relaxing and watching some show on T.V. But no matter how funny it was, he really should have taken into consideration the fact that they were doing serious work. 

Just they was getting over the feeling that comes directly after a large shock, the phone rang directly behind Barrett, causing him to hurl a handful of papers into the air.

Laughing like a maniac, Charlie crossed the room to answer the phone and silence its insistent rings.

"Y'lo?" Charlie said casually, resting on his hip, "Oh hey J.-what? ….yeah. He's right here…I'll put'em on."

He looked over his shoulder at the CG characters making use of the downstairs computer and kitchen table.

"It's for you, man." Charlie shrugged, looking a little miffed as he extended the cordless phone to Rude, "Jayden. She sounds really pissed, dude."

Rude felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he raised the receiver to his ear; he didn't know what Reno had done yet, but he was pretty sure it was pretty up there on the What –The-Fuck scale if his instincts told him anything.

"Y'lo? What's up?" he asked tentatively, feeling slightly afraid of the answer, "…what? …you've got to be kid-!…seriously? Man, what the fuck?"

Tifa looked up from the Final Fantasy VII Player's Guide she had liberated from Jayden's room, surprised at the profanity leaving the normal level headed man's mouth.

"Okay….yes, I'll come get him." Rude said, looking absolutely scandalized as apparently, the fact that Rude was coming to collect the other Turk was all Jayden needed to hear…since she hung up on him.

"What happened?" Cloud asked sternly as Rude started heading towards the door, "Did the Remnants-"

"Reno got her in trouble at work." Rude replied shortly, "And we're talking major trouble."

"As in…'she could get fired' trouble?" Yuffie asked nervously. Even though she and the rest of the AVALANCHE group were still a bit wary of her, they didn't want her to feel threatened by them…and by the sounds of it, the Turks had managed to eff things up again.

"Yeah." Rude muttered, not taking two steps outside before realizing he didn't have a ride, "Hey Charlie, can y' loan me your wheels, man?"

"Notta chance." Charlie replied cheerfully, "But I can give you a ride."

* * *

"This place…it's so…so…" Kadaj trailed off, scouring his mind for the right words. 

"Boring?" Yazoo supplied with a snort as he took in the repetitive scenery.

"That describes it perfectly." Kadaj said with an appreciative smile, "Look at it, really. All the dwellings are identical down to the dull gray paint."

"Well perhaps we should liven things up a bit." Loz suggested, a grin on his face as the Double Hound sparked to life around his wrist.

"That sounds like a fine idea." Yazoo smirked, removing Velvet Nightmare from it's holster, "I do believe the hue of flickering flames will brighten this place up nigely."

"Complemented by a lovely shade of crimson, this place would almost be inhabitable." Kadaj agreed, unsheathing Souba.

"Almost being the keyword." Loz laughed, launching himself at the first of many homes within the housing development to be leveled.

Kadaj and Yazoo quickly followed suit, quickly steamrolling the entire residential area with a great sense of satisfaction.

They might not know what they were doing in this strange place, but that didn't mean they couldn't enjoy themselves a little.

And since they hadn't sensed JENOVA's presence since their arrival, the attractive vision of an all consuming inferno with bloodsoaked undertones, colored all the further by the screams of the innocent bystandards as they attempted to get away was about as fun as they could get.

* * *

Rude walked through the front door, holding a guilty looking Reno by the collar as he shoved him into the kitchen. He looked rather annoyed at the moment, and all of his irritation was aimed at one person at the moment. 

"What did he do?" Barrett sighed, not really wanting to know, but a distraction from seemingly endless hours of Sephiroth research was warranted at this point.

"This fool down three tubs of ice cream and since Schwartz was on duty, she was held responsible." Rude said, shooting a particularly miffed look at his partner..

"Hey, I was hungry, she was withholding ice cream." Reno said defensively as the front door opened again and Jayden and Charlie walked in…well…sorta. Jayden you see, was no longer at work, and as such, felt comfortable enough to have a complete and total nervous breakdown…meaning she is currently in absolute hysterics and Charlie's half carrying her.

"**Th-th-they'er d-d-dockin' m-my p-p-_pay!_**" She bawled, sobbing so hard it was hard to breathe, "**Th-th-th-they're may-makin' _me_ p-pay for it! It w-w-wasn't m-m-m-_my_ f-f-_fault!_**"

"Hey, at least they let you keep your job." Charlie said optimistically as he carefully guided his sibling up the stairs and into her room, "Really, they could've fired your ass right there, but they didn't."

This wasn't much comfort apparently because she fell on to her bed, the same bed that Tifa had borrowed the night before and started sobbing so hard that speech was no longer a possibility.

With a sigh, Charlie unzipped Jayden's boots, tugged off her socks, and pulled the covers over her. He sort of instinctually knew that she would cry herself out so, better to make her comfortable at least.

Turning on his heel, he flicked off the lights and shut the door behind him.

* * *

"As soon as she calms down, you're apologizing." Cloud said coolly, despite being mistrustful of his hostess, he never did like seeing anyone upset. 

"If you were that hungry, you should have said so." Tifa said with annoyance, the player's guide now officially abandoned on the table, "We would have packed you something."

"Hey, you don't need to tell me. I'm not that stupid." Reno retorted, deciding to ignore the fact that Yuffie had to choke back a laugh, "Besides, you know and I know you're just using this situation a way to divert your attention from looking up info on Sephiroth for a few minutes."

"**_Annnnd?_**" Barrett said slowly, quirking an eyebrow at the Turk, "So what? Unlike you,, we've been bustin' our humps all-"

"Just let it go." Vincent interjected swiftly, stopping the argument before it started, "Why don't we just call it a day? We can begin our search again tomorrow."

"I think that is an excellent idea." Yuffie agreed, stretching her arms over her head with a groan, "_M...nahhhhh_, I needed that."

Tifa logged off the internet and rose from the computer chair with a slightly pained groan, "**Man**, I'm stiff." She commented.

Cloud walked over to the pantry and grabbed a few bags of chips and tossed them at the assemble party, all of who caught them easily.

Reno was just about to snatch his out of the air as well…until Vincent grabbed it first.

"You've already consumed plenty from what I understand." He said evenly, opening the bag and walking to the sliding glass door…which he then opened and chucked the Lunchables sized chips out, making a certain Great Dane a very happy camper.

Reno watched in dismay as his share of the chips disappeared into the immense, slobbery void that was Chewbacca's mouth.

"That was a waste of food and **_totally_** unnecessary." He blurted, somewhat mournfully, watching with a mixture of gloom and fascination as the Great Dane then ate the bag.

"Just consider it part of your punishment." Cloud said vaguely as Charlie entered the kitchen and walked over to the living room, where he then flopped down on the couch and flipped on the T.V.

There was an awkward silence as Charlie flicked through the channels, pausing momentarily on a news report about a wildfire that had decimated a housing development in Kent.

"That's pretty close to where we used to live." He muttered, switching his long legs on to the sofa.

One by one, the CG characters made real joined him in the adjacent living room, taking places on the floor and couch.

They positioned them in way that, to the casual observer, looked wanton, but to the trained eye, was forcing Reno to sit next to Jayden's elder sibling.

Reno scowled at Vincent, who merely tossed him a withering look and refocused on the television screen where Ren was beating Stimpy over the head with a sink.

"I don't know all the specifics, man….but make her cry again, and you're dead…izzat clear?" Charlie asked in a far too cheerful a tone for such a serious threat.

Reno nodded and sighed, _"Okay! Okay! I GET it! …I'll ask before I eat next time."_ he thought to himself, giving the back of his head a scratch..

* * *

(A/N: Kyle returns from visiting his girlfriend out of state. Jayden's locked herself in her room. The Remnants have made their way to Monroe. R&R!) 


	7. Locked: Out: Turn Me Inside Out

(A/N: Hi all! Sorry I took so long with this last one. I was over at a friend's house all weekend. Just a warning, it gets pretty drak near the end. That said, READ ON!)

* * *

"**I'm _HOOOME!_**" Mikayla's cheery voice called from the entryway, "I've come bearing food! **OH!** And your brother! Can't forget about you Kyle, now can we?"

"Real funny, Ma." A male voice snorted sarcastically from the foyer, "Ha. Ha. It is to laugh."

Mikayla and Jayden's older brother, Kyle, strode into the kitchen. Mikayla's arms were loaded with plastic bags that were giving off the exquisite scent of fired chicken, potato wedges and mashies; Kyle's arms were weighed down with a duffel bag and suitcase.

Kyle himself appeared to be about nineteen. His hair, like that of his older and younger sibling, was, even to the untrained eye, dyed – black with green stripes this time. He also appeared to have a penchant for black, white and red but unlike his brother and sister however, he did NOT have a nose piercing.

"Hmmm…where's your sister?" Mikayla asked curiously, scanning the room for the girl, "This is usually the time of day she spends slouching from room to room, moaning about what we're going to have for dinner."

"Probably sleeping." Charlie shrugged, relieving his mother of the bags, while, from where any one else was sitting, looked like a sincere gesture to help, but in actuality, was a move to secure Charlie first choice on chicken and sides.

"What, she sick'er sumthin'?" Kyle asked, dropping his bags unceremoniously on the floor, still oblivious to the eight extra bodies in his living room.

"Naw, just wiped." Charlie smiled, covering Reno's ass for now…as to why, no one was really sure.

"I'll check in on her later." Mikayla said in a bemused tone as Kyle finally noticed the extra bodies…as they swarmed past him to get at the food.

"**_Whoa_, WHOA!**" he cried, making the motion with his arms that clearly indicated _'HOLLLLLLLLLLD IT!'_, "Who the _**hell**_ are **these** guys? Friends of yours, Char?"

"_**Naaaaw**_, they're the exchange students." Charlie grinned, walking out towards the stairs, "'member? Mom said we could host some."

"Yeah." Kyle said warily, taking in all eight bodies, "I remember the **some** part. The part where we host a small village escapes me, tho'."

"**_Kyle_**." Mikayla said in a warning tone, "That's enough. Now then, Why don't you all get acquainted, mm? I'm going to go take a bath."

There was a very tense silence after Charlie and Mikayla left the room. No one was willing to make the first move…so finally, all nine people came to a silent agreement, gathered their dinner and ate to the soothing sounds of the T.V. for background noise.

"So…" Kyle said sometime later, finally breaking the silence, "Whaddya go by? I'm not really the type that enjoys going around yelling 'hey you'."

"Aiden." Cloud replied, before gesturing the rest of the AVALANCHE resistance group, "And this is Tiffany, Armand, Denzel and Fubuki."

"And I'm Deangelo." Rude said calmly, slouching comfortably against the sofa, "And this red-headed idiot is Keith."

"**ALRIGHT! _ALRIGHT!_**" Reno cried frustratedly, "I **know** it was a **_retarded_** thing to do, but I was **hungry**, **_okay?_** You **know** I don't think straight when I'm hungry!"

"_**Puh-leeze.**_" Yuffie snorted, rolling her eyes as she curled herself against Barrett's shins for the sake of the heat, "You don't think straight **EVER**."

"Don't make me separate you two." Tifa sighed, massaging her temples in an attempt to relieve her rapidly building stress.

"**_Gee_**, well aren't you all a happy bunch?" Kyle snorted, rising from his seat with a groan, "I can almost feel the love from here."

Vincent took a good look at Yuffie and Reno, still trying to fight even though their mouths were covered and shook his head in disgust while Kyle wandered into the kitchen and hijacked the computer.

"I guess if we're gonna get anymore work done tonight, we'll have to scam Jayden's laptop." Barrett sighed, listening to the furious clacking as Kyle's fingers flew over the keyboard and started up a IM chat with his girlfriend.

"Don't forget, she's asleep." Rude said as an after thought as everyone was already pushing themselves off the couch and strolling towards the stairs in the entryway, "We'll have to do this quietly."

* * *

"_Nnnnn_…hk…hk…_nn_…" Jayden groaned, breath coming in hitches as she opened her sore eyes blearily; She made a mental note to never, **EVER** cry with half of her face this bruised **_ever_** again. It was just painful and stupid…even if it **had** made her feel better – but **_only_** in a mental sense. 

As she forced herself upright in bed, the muffled sounds of all too familiar voices started to permeate their way through her bedroom door.

Jayden caught snippets of conversation that she didn't bother listening to as she strode across the room and pressed the push lock next to the knob, turned the dead bolt into place, slid the slide bolt shut and hooked up the chain; usually all these locks were for display purposes only, but now she was glad she had installed them.

Jayden didn't want to hear a **WORD** of what these people had to say anymore. She wanted to be left alone – say it with me, A-L-O-N-E.

Food and water wouldn't be a problem either. Mikayla was a health nut who had been terrorized by Dr. Oz into trashing anything with transfat, so Jayden had a pretty good sized junk food stash in her desk drawers and closet.

She heard the doorknob rattle as one of the CG characters made real attempted to open the door without success.

Jayden crawled back into her bed slowly and pulled the covers up around her, preparing to fall back asleep for the night…until a horrible, metallic ripping sound ground its way into her ears as Cloud ripped the door off its hinges.

* * *

"**_Why_** can't any of you take a hint, **why**?" she moaned loudly, grabbing a pillow and burying her face beneath it in an effort to suffocate herself as the AVALANCHE and Turks strode calmly into her bedroom in search of her laptop. 

The pillow was tugged out of her hands by a inquisitive looking Yuffie, who stated with a small frown on her lips, "You keep that up and you'll suffocate."

"**_That's_** what I'm **hoping** anyway." Jayden said, lurching up to snatch the pillow back and shove it over her face again.

"Knock it off." Reno snorted, ripping the pillow away and chucking it at the sofa, "_**Sheesh**_. I'm sorry that what went down today went down, but there's no need to kill yourself."

"Oh, I see it as the **perfect** opportunity to kill myself." Jayden retorted, snatching up another pillow, not about to be deterred from her dream of dying by lack of air, "So if you don't mind-"

"We do." Vincent said coldly, shooting a piercing look at the short teenager, making her squeak and drop the pillow back onto the mattress.

Cloud was currently digging through the contents of her backpack, Rude was riffling through her closet, all in the effort to locate her laptop.

"This is just **_too_** stupid." She mumbled, resting her chin on her knees, "Any other fangirl in my position would probably be **thrilled** to have just **_one_** of these guys rooting through their rooms, but **nooooo**. This has been a **_nightmare_** from day **one**."

"…it's really been **_that_** _**bad**_ from your perspective?" Reno blinked, frankly, a bit surprised.

"Well, **yeah**." Jayden replied sulkily, "You haven't been the one keeping up cover for you guys, and providing food, **and** shelter **_and_** information on Sephiroth **and** the Remnants, all while **_still_** being held under suspicion of conspiring **against** all of you **_and_** working with the SHM."

"…d' **whut**?" Barrett asked, looking very confused at the abbreviation.

"**_Silver_**. **Haired**. **_Men_**." Jayden said scathingly, whipping the covers back over her head, "**God**, don't you people have someone _**else**_ to torment? I mean, **Charlie's** free. Why don't you go torture **_h_**-"

"We're torturing you?" Vincent asked slowly, not quite following, "I understand that we're quite the burden on you at the moment, that our questions maybe somewhat annoying to you and that Reno's latest conduct was less than-"

"Vincent? That'll do." Cloud said quickly, clamping a hand over the former Turk's mouth as he took into account a good sized vein in Jayden's forehead pulsing as well as the sound of grinding teeth.

"Do you **STILL** suspect me?" Jayden blurted, slamming both hands down on her mattress, "Do you **_STILL_** think I'm **so** suspicious? I haven't even **_DONE_** anything yet!"

"**Yet** is the keyword here." Barrett said sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders," You could just be biding your time."

"…this is just **_too_** lame." Jayden mumbled, totally dumbfounded as her laptop was finally located by the klepto-kunoichi Yuffie, "I give up. It's just too much. There's just no reasoning with you people. I take back what I said earlier. You're **NOT** like my mother. At least **_she_** **CAN** be reasoned with. You guys are more like Kyle and Charlie – lights are on but no one's home."

* * *

Reno opened his mouth to retort when a familiar feeling of cold filled the pit of his stomach. 

"**_DOWN_**!" Rude bellowed, forcing the still upright (and injured) Yuffie to the floor.

The window above the bed exploded inward as Yazoo announced his arrival with a hailstorm of bullets from Velvet Nightmare, riddling the floor with holes.

Jayden screamed as Tifa forced her to the floor while Cloud retrieved his Buster Sword that was still propped against the wall.

Barrett unleashed several rounds from his Gun Arm to fend the eldest of the Remnants at bay but was quickly dealing with three instead of one.

Loz and Kadaj, drawn from the house next door by the sound of battle, came to assist their brother bursting through the bathroom down the hall, tearing through walls as though they were tissue paper in their efforts to reach and help Yazoo.

Their labors would prove fruitless nevertheless as Cloud quickly drove them back out the newly enlarged window with a single swipe of his broadsword, quickly leaping out after them to continue the fight.

Tifa released her grip on Jayden and followed after Cloud, shouting orders to Rude and Reno (who gave her the _I–Don't-Hafta-Listen-To-You-You're-Not-My-Boss_ face) to look after Yuffie and keep an eye on Jayden.

Shaking like a leaf, Jayden watched in horrified fascination, cursing her inner fangirl as she watched Barrett and Vincent follow after Tifa.

She quickly shook it off though, when she realized that Charlie and her mom were probably hurt (doesn't know Kyle's home yet) during all that commotion and pushed herself off the floor to go check on them.

"**Hey!** Wheredya think **_you're_** going?" Rude asked sternly, catching her by the bicep and pulling her back.

"My mom…Charlie…" Jayden she mumbled numbly, trying to make the words in her head reach her mouth but having them get lost halfway there.

"She probably wants to see if they're safe." Yuffie reasoned, holding her ribcage painfully as she used a bedpost for balance, "Loz and Kadaj really tore up the upstairs and the computer is directly below her room."

"You can check, but **only** if we go with you." Reno sighed irritably, his original plan of just sitting and waiting for the AVALANCHE group to return being blown away in the wind.

Jayden nodded as Rude released her arm and moved to the left of her, Reno flanking her right and Yuffie, limping a bit, took up the rear.

* * *

The hallway was an absolute debacle, littered with broken bits of fragmented wood and chunks of broken plaster. Family photos that had formerly lined the walls of the hallway were snapped in half, the glass shattered into millions of pieces. 

First stop was Charlie's room.

The door was blown off it's hinges, the window blown out, clothing strewn everywhere, posters ripped and torn, and a ceiling length wardrobe overturned…on top of the room's owner himself, who, while in a great deal of pain, was very much alive.

"_**CHARLIE!**_" Jayden shrieked, rushing to him and struggling to lift the huge cabinet.

Reno strode past and, in a manner that was almost mocking to Jayden's strength, tossed it off the twenty-two year old with one hand.

"I'll carry him." He remarked calmly, switching Charlie onto his back so he carried the older man like a small child, "Let's keep moving."

Jayden nodded shakily and returned to the doorway and walked towards the bathroom. The door had been blown out into the hallway, the window destroyed…and Mikayla lay floating in the tub, stabbed repeatedly with shards of glass coloring the water red with blood.

Jauden and Yuffie shot forward, checking her pulse; very faint but she was alive.

"Better keep going." Yuufie muttered, grabbing several towels and clothing off the floor to stanch the blood flow and warm the woman up.

"Yeah." Jayden replied, looking even paler. She wasn't sure why Yuffie had said that. Who else was there? Unless…oh no…

That thought got Jayden's adrenaline pumping as she took the stairs three at a time, taking the banister at the bottom and dashing into the kitchen.

A soft moan met her ears.

Kyle lay on the floor, bleeding from the stomach, shoulder and thigh, plaster dusted the floor about him as well as bullet holes.

"This is a nightmare…" Jayden mumbled, swaying on her feet as Rude carefully collected her brother off the floor, "A bad dream...hasta be..."

The room spun out of control, voices shouted, the world went white…then all was silent.

* * *

(A/N: What will happen next? R&R to find out! I know. I'm evil!)


	8. Going Under:::Or Not

(A/N: Hi all! Another chapter up for you! I hope you all likies! READ ON! I COMMAND YOU!)

* * *

Floating. 

She was floating…drifting across a pool of something cool and pleasant. A hand, comforting, rough from years of work and distinctly male in size, brushed across her forehead. The pleasent scent of flowers along with a vague smell of motoroil, to most irritating, to Jayden, was familiar, nostalgic…almost sweet in a way.

"Well now." A female voice remarked with a lilting giggle that was vaguely familiar, "You're a new face. Why are you here?"

"_I…I don't know."_ Jayden thought bleakly, _"I'm just so sleepy. Every time I try to sort things out, my head starts to hurt…starts to spin."_

"I see." The female voice said in a seraphic calm way, the hand continuing to stroke her forehead in that oddly familiar way, "I'm afraid that you don't belong here."

"_Don't belong here?"_ she thought sleepily, still unable to draw strength of will to force her eyes open to see her companions, _"Why not? Where is here?"_

There was no response this time. The rough hand left her forehead, and the sweet scent of flowers mingling with faint smell of motoroil began to fade as well, being replaced with the harsh, sterile smell of a hospital room.

The will to open her eyes returned…somewhat as pried her left open a crack…to be greeted by a most unwelcome sight – Rufus Shinra.

"_Great…I'm in deep shit now."_ Jayden thought listlessly, knowing that Rufus had undoubtedly seen the movement of her eyelids flickering (stupid inhuman senses) as he strode over to her bedside, proving her assumption correct.

Jayden wasn't sure which Shinra she was dealing with currently – reformed, working towards the restoration of the planet Rufus or evil psychopathic Rufus hell bent on ruling the world and defying the life streams authority…but wait…what was he doing in her world in the first place? He hadn't been dragged through with the Turks…had he?

"Are we awake now?" he asked mildly, looking slightly curious as he peered into her bruised, blotchy face, "I must say…you gave Mr. Strife and my men quite the scare."

_"Okay. We're dealing with Good Rufus Shinra today. Mr. Jekyll as it were."_ Jayden thought to herself, perking up slightly.

She pushed herself up slightly and did a double take. This wasn't her room. What she had hoped to be a fever induced dream, turned out to still be one-hundred percent pure reality…only now it was worse…if her hypothesis was correct.

* * *

Jayden fell back onto the gurney with a tired, irritable sigh, "Ah **hell**…" she mumbled. 

"It's about time for breakfast." Rufus offered with a smile that really, was more of a smirk, "Are you in the mood to eat just now?"

Jayden's stomach churned at the word food, and she groaned in response, face tingeing a shade of grayish green.

"What happened?" she muttered, trying to force down yesterday's lunch as she spoke.

"From what I understand, you went into shock and fainted." Rufus replied, drawing a sigh from the girl, "And, while the Remnant's and the AVALANCHE resistance group were doing battle, a huge fluxuation of energy was somehow created that returned them back to Edge."

_"I knew it."_ Jayden thought dully, as the reality of the situation hit her full force, _"They go there. I come here. This is like some fangirl's fantasy gone horribly, horribly wrong."_

"You're going to stay here for a while. You and your family." Rufus said stoically. At the mention of her family, Jayden started and pushed herself upright.

"Where are they?" she asked hoarsely, "My mom and brothers?"

"They're in the intensive care wing." Rufus said evenly, "They had extensive injuries that aren't healing on their own for some reason. We have our finest healer working on them. So rest easy."

Jayden regarded the man with her good eye before sinking back down against the mattress.

"Do you want breakfast?" Rufus asked again.

"Mm-mm. It won't stay down." She replied queasily.

"Are you sick?" Rufus asked, placing a hand to her forehead to check. His hands were smooth, softer than expected, but then again, despite being a fighter, he was also a sheltered rich boy, which would explain why he touched Jayden's forehead with such caution.

Rufus frowned, and rose to his feet, "I'll get a thermometer."

Apparently, no matter how cold she thought the room was, and right now her body thinking along the lines of the walk in freezer at Baskin & Robins, her brow was singing a different tune.

* * *

"So, how're they holdin' up?" Barrett asked crisply, as the Turks in their entirety entered Seventh Heaven. 

"The one you call Jayden regained consciousness for a few moments today and held a brief discussion with the President before slipping back under again." Elena said officiously, "The ones called Charles, Kyle and Mikayla haven't stirred as of yet and are still in critical condition."

"So Cloud…do we trust her yet?" Yuffie asked, swinging her legs to and from as she sat on the counter top. Sitting still for more than two second never had been her thing.

"…yes." Cloud said, looking as though he had returned to the Emo-side-of-the-force as he sat on a bar stool. Yes, he was currently playing his favorite game again: Self-Blame. It's where you take every little thing that went wrong and blame your_**self **_for it! Sounds fun **right**?…what? It _**doesn't? **_Didn't think so.

The tentative truce between these two groups was still a **long** way from becoming a strong, fixed one, so everyone present was a little on edge. Even those who had become slightly accustomed to the company of the other group were uneasy because of the attitude their comrades gave off.

Tifa felt her stomach knot a few times at the looks Cid was hurling Elena and Tseng's way. She almost had to bite her lip to refrain from saying, _"Knock it off! They haven't even done anything yet!"_ a phrase eerily familiar to one their unwilling caretaker had uttered herself.

Instead she walked over to where Cloud was to pull him out of Emo Land again, as was her unspoken duty since no one else seemed to want to bite the bullet and do this particular job…mainly because prolonged exposure to Emo Cloud could cause severe bouts of depression, anxiety, constipation, sleep depravation and anal seepage.

While Tifa was attempting to coax Cloud out of his guilt induced funk, Reno shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. The tension in this room was so thick you could cut it with a knife, spread it on bread and make a rather nice sandwich out of it.

His stomach gurgled loudly to voice its complaint at the food analogy – it had been over two hours since the last snack break and Reno's black coat with the junk food stashed in it was back at Rufus Shinra's Mansion. Tseng shot an annoyed look at him and shook his head. Hey! It wasn't Reno's fault he got hungry at inopportune times! He was a growing boy…man after all.

* * *

RedXIII stood beside Cid, wondering what was ruffling the blond man's fur. Maybe it was the presence of new smells on the rest of the AVALNCHE group that was getting to him. Perhaps it was the fact that the Turks were there, but they were in alliance now right? 

RedXIII decided not to let Cid's stressful attitude rub off on him and, let loose a loud yawn…which Marlene, situated on his back, caught, loosing one of her own before flopping fore sleepily.

Cid Highwind didn't care if Cloud **_HAD_** agreed to a temporary truce. The fact that the Turks were in the same city, **hell**, the same **_county_**, so royally pissed him off that he would give his non-existent third **nut** just to see them all spontaneously combust at the same time.

It would never sit well with him, this alliance. The fact that Cait Sith was still allowed to come and go as he pleased still irked him, but this? This was almost too much. Even if Cid didn't trust Cloud, he would still have to declare the Chocobohead insane for trusting their former enemy for more than a second.

Rude tried to stay as focused as possible, paying as strict attention as possible to what Elena and Tseng were saying…but he kept finding his mind drifting to other things…random things. Things so arbitrary that really, they may have been leaking out of Reno's brain and into his. It really wasn't his fault though. He missed breakfast and is currently cutting into his lunch break for this meeting. But really his current thought are along the lines of –

"_Grapes are fun…I really like grapes…except when you get a moldy one…but really, that almost never happens…"_ Rude mused , all the while managing to maintain a poker-face that fooled Tseng into thinking he was paying attention, "_I have to remember to take those gil out of my pants when we get back. Gotta remember. Gil in the pants, gil in the pants, gil in the pants. What's in the pants? Gil's in the pants. G.P. G.P. G.P. G.P. …great…now I hafta pee…When did I become Reno?"

* * *

_

A fever. A **_freakin'_** fever. Jayden had **god**-**_damned_**, **103** degree fever that caused her to pass out in front of Rufus Shinra- oh pardon me- **_PRESIDENT_** Shinra as she attempted to make her way to the bathroom without the assistance of the healers.

Well, if **that** wasn't a peachy way to start her day off, nothing was.

This was quickly followed up (after she regained consciousness of course) by a most unwanted visit by Professor Hojo, who after hearing she and her family were from another world, began skulking around their rooms in an attempt to scam hair, blood and skin tissue samples from all of them.

Rude, who returned a bit earlier with Reno, whom she chucked a pillow at on sight (she still a little bitter about the B & R incident) quickly shooed him out before the creepy man could do anything more than be an ass pain - Tseng and Elena having thwarted his tissue collecting attempts at the door to the intensive care wing by asking for his clearance pass.

Reno laughed his ass off when learned she had passed out in front of Rufus, on her way to the bathroom of all things. Jayden's response to this was to dump the contents of her water glass in his lap.

"Shut up." she mumbled, stomach roiling at the sudden movement, "I **_really_** don't need this right now. I just want to see my mom and idiot brothers, but Shinra wont let me until I can make it **all** the way…to **_that_** wheelchair…on my **own**."

She scowled irritably at the wheelchair conveniently placed on the door wall directly opposite her bed.

She knew in her head that it really wasn't that far, only about ten or twelve feet, but the way she was currently, that wheel chair may as well have been across the Mohave desert.

"_**Wooooow**_…**that** far?" Reno snorted teasingly, apparently over his soggy trousers.

Jayden glared up at him with as much ferocity as she could muster…which was enough to make Reno explode into laughter again…really…a six week old puppy was fiercer than her at that moment.

"Reno, knock it off." Rude said, massaging the bridge of his nose, "You keep this up and Tseng is gonna chew us out again."

As if on cue, the door slid open and Tseng strode in, looking faintly annoyed with Reno's current conduct.

* * *

"Reno? I do hope you're not interfering with the patient's ability to recuperate." He said evenly, eyeing the flame head, currently trying to force down his snickers. 

"Sorry about that sir." Rude said sincerely, grabbing Reno by the ponytail and yanking him to his feet and causing the pool of remaining water in his lap to splatter to the floor, "It won't happen again."

Tseng eyed the drips on the floor, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"See that it doesn't." Tseng snorted, shaking his head, "Now leave the Schwartz girl be. She and her family need rest. Come on. Move it."

Rude, his grip still firm on Reno's ponytail, strode out of the room with purpose, dragging the loudly complaining red head along for the ride.

Tseng stared after them a moment and sighed before turning back to Jayden and giving a sweeping bow.

"I'll send a Healer up to check on you in about an hour." He said officiously, "Rest well."

Jayden waited until the sound of Tseng's footsteps had faded away before snuggling down in the covers.

Rest? He wanted her to rest? How the hell was she supposed to do that when she didn't know if her mom, Charlie or Kyle were alright? They had been in a bad way when she had seen them last. For all she knew, Rufus Shinra was lying to her and they were already dead and their corpses being used for experimentation.

That thought brought her to tears. She had already lost her dad four years ago in that racing crash. She couldn't bear the thought of losing another member of her immediate family so soon.

Jayden knew she must have cried herself to sleep, because she was back at the same place as before. She was floating againg, lying in the pool of liquid that couldn't possibly be water, water would have soaked her through and dragged her under by now. This substance neither soaked her skin and clothes, nor attempted to drown her.

The soft smell of something pleasant and very fragrant…some kind of flower maybe, drifted in the air...but there was that motoroil undertone again.

The hand, rough but gentle at the same time, began brushing her sweat soaked hair away from her forehead again in that strangely memorable way and that female voice came again, familiar but Jayden still couldn't place it.

"Back again are we?" it asked smilingly.

* * *

(A/N: Stay tuned peoples! R&R! Your authoress NEEDS revieweage to stay alive! So please feed and water your authoress!) 


	9. Stupid Hair

(A/N: Okay. I messed up. I know. I'm sorry. I forgotteded that Hojo got "offficially" killed in Dirge Of Cerberus, and therefore, his presence in my story isn't possible...unless he's a HOJO CLONE! At anyrate, my bad. I'll either whack Ho-Blow in a future chapter or write him out all together.

Now that that's been cleared up, I want to make it known that where I am is experiencing a huge level of wind storms so the computer is going off until they clear up, what with the blackouts and all. I've said all I need to, now READ ON!)

* * *

"_**AERITH GAINSBOROUGH!**_" Jayden screeched, flying up in bed after being torn away from the flowery smelling white place for the umpteenth time that week. 

She couldn't **believe** it had taken her this long to place the voice of the Flower Girl, but it **_had_** been over six months since she had last watched Advent Children (stupid nosy family)

Feeling slightly more at ease now that Aerith had been identified, she had to wonder about the hand. She knew it couldn't be Zack. There was no **way** his consciousness would go feeling up another girl's forehead, **_especially_** with Aerith around.

No matter **how** sweet she seemed, Jayden knew that in a lot of ways Aerith was just like any other girl and that if she caught Zack feeling up another girl, forehead or no, Aerith would undoubtedly kick his ass, then go after the ho who led him astray.

_"Besides, I don't know Zack. And I KNOW those hands."_ Jayden thought sullenly, glancing with annoyance at one of many sources of ire for her at the moment – the wheelchair by the door.

No, ladies and gents, it's been a week and she **_still_** hadn't been able reach it under her own power, meaning she **still** hasn't seen hide nor hair of her family.

_"This is driving me insane."_ Jayden thought darkly, shooting a look at her reflection in the window and making a face, _"So is this for that matter. Stupid hair."_

Yes, that was something new altogether. She hadn't known when, how, or why it had happened; perhaps on the way into the game.

Perhaps this world had had an instant report with her mother…but if that was the case, her nose piercing should be gone too, right? Unless her mom secretly liked and approved of it or something.

Maybe Aerith had thought it would be funny to wipe her hair clean of impurities, but leave her body full of…-well whatever the case, Jayden couldn't be a hundred percent positive.

The only thing she really knew was that that jerkwad Reno had conveniently avoided pointing out the fact that her hair, that she had spent over **_three weeks_** deciding the cut, style, **and** dye job for, had mysterious returned to the length and color it had been five days before the arrival of the CG characters.

Rude had probably deliberately avoided the subject of her hair as to not upset her further and possibly make her sicker on account of the stress it would likely bring about and Rufus didn't know anything about her hair being dyed – or short for that matter- so he wouldn't have known to begin with.

* * *

This **_really_** tweaked Jayden off…as she wasn't trusted enough by anyone in this world to handle anything near as sharp as a pair of scissors she couldn't hack off the long, heavy mane to it's former shoulder length again. 

And for some reason, despite Reno's outlandish, fire-engine-red mane and the Silver Haired Trio's flowing hoary locks, she highly doubted they had hair dye in this world.

This meant Jayden was stuck with hair she had to sweep aside before she sat down…unless the idea of wrenched neck muscles struck her fancy…that was the color of over three quarters of the population of planet Earth – mouse brown.

Not that she didn't like having long hair again – she did…kinda…it was the only thing about her that was even slightly feminine: she was short, had no curves to speak of, was super-duper-are-you-anorexic skinny, had a tomboyish personality from growing up in a male dominated family…and of course, had no boobs.

Really, her hair had been the only thing she had that made her even **slightly** girly…but it was heavy, occasionally gave her neck cramps, made her partially deaf when it covered her ears…it had to go.

The only thing about this situation that brought her even **_some_** semblance of joy was the realization that Kyle and Charlie were going to awaken to mouse brown manes too…and for them it would be worse.

Before they had their hair cut and styled, they had what she referred to as Head Banger Head and Girl Curl.

Yes, the expressions on their faces would be sweet…but it would be a long way off before she could enjoy them unless she could summon up the strength to crawl over to that **stupid** wheelchair.

Jayden was so bored and had exhausted **_all_** options of entertaining herself. She had read every book the healing staff brought to her, had run out of color association games, and had even gone so far as to count **all** the little dots on the ceiling (final count – 33 billion 800 million)

She vowed that even if it required crawling across the floor, she was making it into that wheelchair and out of the room. The stale smell of the hospital room was slowly driving past the point of cabin fever and into pure, unadulterated insanity in its finest.

* * *

"Tseng, could you help me out here - _**please?**_" Elena begged in a rather strained voice, too preoccupied to look upon her crush at the moment. 

She was struggling to restrain Reno with Rude's assistance while Yuffie was just barely being held back by Tifa and Barrett.

Tseng regarded her blandly, allowed his gaze rove over the snarling, frothing Reno, viciously trying to free himself so he could make her take back the comment about his hair looking like RedXIII, to Rude who had just taken a wrist joint to the face, effectively snapping his sunglasses in two.

"I refuse to be caught up in such a childish squabble." Tseng said evenly.

"**Vincent! _C'mon,_ man! Help us _out!_**" Barret bellowed, narrowly avoiding a heel to the groin as Yuffie thrashed about wildly, determined to take revenge for his untoward comment about her mother.

Vincent took in the situation with the eye that wasn't completely covered with hair, wondering vaguely how this meeting on attack strategies got so far out of hand as Tifa let loose a pained gasp as Yuffie's rather pointy elbowed lodged itself in her…well…let's just say that **all** women have two of them, it hurts a **_lot_** when your hit there, and I'm **not** talking about eyes, people.

Tifa's hands flew to her chest, freeing Yuffie's left arm and giving the klepto-kunoichi the maneuver room needed to free herself from Barrett and launch herself at the still trapped Reno.

He managed to avoid her punch by ducking low…ensuring Tseng, ever the proactive, helpful guy, took the hit.

Now both Reno and Yuffie were free, rolling about the floor in a snarling, screaming blur while beating the absolute crap out of each other, forgoing all weapons in favor of bare-knuckled brawling.

By this point, tho', they had forgotten what their original qualm with each other was, only remembering the residual anger, and until the boiling rage inside them was punched, kicked, bitten, scratched, kneed and elbowed out, they were going to keep fighting. Who **_cared_** if they were partially destroying Seventh Heaven in the process?

Cloud, Tifa, Barrett (who likes getting blitzed there) and Elena (a _"closet"_ alcoholic) did apparently, as they wrenched the two apart and heaved them out into street.

* * *

"If you're **going** to fight, don't destroy our property in the process." Tifa said shrewdly, forgetting her pain as she thought of the income she would have to bow out on repairs if they continued as they were. 

But the overall shock of being hurled outside caused the anger in both of them to drain and be quickly replaced by embarrassment as a giggly crowd gathered.

They quickly composed themselves and, very shame faced, re-entered Seventh Heaven to apologize to Tifa for destroying tables six, one and ten, and for the blow to her boob, to Rude for the breaking his glasses for the umpteenth time and to Tseng for getting punched in place of Reno.

As Tseng sat on the floor, stanching his bloody nose, he thought of all the ways Reno would pay for such an indignity…but his murderous thoughts were brought to a screeching halt as he felt something hard – a knee more specifically- nudge him between the shoulder blades, followed by an all too familiar, light snicker from just behind him.

"Well…it seems as though you're all having fun." Rufus said mildly, not refraining in the slightest from laughing at the chaos he viewed in the tavern, "A shame I missed out really."

"_Mr. President!_" Elena squeaked, flushing dark red as she realized, and correctly so, how frazzled she must look; her face was red and streaked with sweat from struggling with Reno, her jacket sleeve was ripped at the seam, etc, etc.

Rude had pulled out one of his spare pairs of shades and slipped them on, swearing upon the broken pair in his breast pocket that he would have his revenge.

"So…did you come up with any ideas to locate the Remnants before…diverting to other matters?" Rufus smirked, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth as he turned them to the tavern's door as Reno and Yuffie, looking very ashamed of themselves, walked in.

"Yes." Cloud said evenly, shooting an annoyed look at Yuffie before continuing, "We've received a message from Cait Sith that the Remnants have been spotted just outside of Junon and moving in our direction."

"Then, depending on whether or not they stop for rest, which I doubt, they should arrive with in two to three days." Vincent said tersely, a pensive look filling his face.

"It's a bad situation. **_Shit_**. Doesn't give us much time t' plan." Barrett growled, drumming the fingers of his non-prosthetic hand on the bar.

"We've worked with less time before." Tifa stated reassuringly, ignoring the dull ache in her left breasticle, "As long as we lay down the ground work now, we can come up with the details later and be prepared to take them down once and for all."

* * *

"**HEY! _What _AREyou _doing?_**" 

"**DON'T _TOUCH_ ME!**"

Reno and Rude came to a screeching halt about two feet away from Jayden, currently splayed out on the floor only about a foot away from the wheelchair.

"You heard Shinra." Jayden scowled up at them, sticking out her lower lip in a stubborn fashion as she wriggled a bit closer to the chair, "I hafta do it on my **_own_**."

Reno had to clamp both hands over his mouth to hold in the uncontrollable laughter that was threatening to collapse his chest cavity; he was already in deep shit because of his tiff with Kisaragi, he knew better than to add Laughing-At-An-Invalid to the list.

Finally after about two more minutes of struggling, she reached the chair and managed to grab a hold of both arms.

Before Jayden had a chance to pull herself up, however, Rude grabbed her under the arms and hefted her into the wheelchair…where she sat in stunned silence for a full five minutes…before going into a muttering tangent.

"Idiot…hafta do it over…so stupid…so close…" she mumbled dazedly, pushing herself off the chair and onto the floor again, beginning to scooch her way back towards the gurney, only to have her path blocked by Rude again.

"The deal was, 'make it to the chair on your own.'" He said evenly, picking her back up and setting her back in the wheelchair again, "There was never anything in that deal about you getting **INTO** the wheelchair on your own."

That did it. Reno couldn't hold it in any more and fell to the floor, laughing his ass off at the obvious oversight.

Jayden stared at Reno, a bland look on her face, before turning to Rude and asking, "Tell me, are those shoes steel toed?"

"Yeah," Rude replied, tracing Reno's path along the floor with his eyes.

"May I borrow one of them for a moment?" Jayden asked, blank expression still plastered all over her face.

"Can I ask why first before I answer?" Rude retorted evenly, his reponse barely heard over Reno's raucous laughter.

"Of course. I'm going to lob it at his thick skull." Jayden replied calmly, "So don't worry. He wont be injured in any way."

"…alright then." Rude said, tugging off the shoe and handing it to her, thinking more of his fallen sunglasses and obtaining vengeance for them than whether or not this would give Reno a concussion.

With a smile on her lips and knowledge that she would be seeing her family soon in her heart, she heaved the shoe at Reno with her all of her remaining strength, watching with joy as it collided.

Hey, there's a first time for everything…plus, he was otherwise distracted.

* * *

(A/N: The Remnants make their way to Edge, in search of JENOVA's Head and abducting Geostigma infected children along the way.What else will happen? R&R to find out! FEED AND WATER THE AUTHORESS!) 


	10. Plan? We have a Plan?

(A/N: I have power again! WOOT! The storms knock our power out for quite a bit, but I'm back baby! Didja miss me? I missed all of you!

To all my readers, please check out the **_Authoress Alert_** at the end of this fic, as it's very important.

And now, that being said, on with the fic. READ ON!)

* * *

The Remnants came to a stop in a dark ruins of the City of the Ancients, now surrounded by dead, leafless trees. There were a few scattered berry bushes with a few remaining berries still hanging from they branches and a medium sized pond with clear water. 

"Alright." Yazoo said calmly as the Geostigma infected children milled about unsurely, most looking scared and nervous, "This is fine for a convening place. We have to keep going."

"I have a question." Loz piped up, face transforming into a frown as he became aware of the fact Kadaj and Yazoo were ignoring him.

"Yes, we're so close to meeting up with our brother again." Kadaj smirked, already striding away from the clearing and the afflicted children.

"Brothers?" Loz said, a bit louder as his brothers continued their preset path out of the clearing and forest, forcing him to quicken his pace to catch up.

"Do think perhaps Mother is somewhere in that city as well?" Yazoo asked, not responding to his younger siblings insistent pleading.

"Maybe…but we must attend to the matter at hand first, once we dispense of the traitor-." Kadaj's response was cut off by Loz's perturbed face appeared in front of him.

"I **_SAID_** I have a question." Loz snapped irritably, very annoyed at being shut out by his siblings, and not allowing them to go a step forward until he was heard.

"What **is** it Loz?" Yazoo asked listlessly, digging in his ear with his pinky for non-existent wax, resting on his hip as he awaited for his little brother's question.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to just leave those children here _**alone?**_" Loz asked, a searching look on his face as he observed his sibling's reactions, "I mean, they might make a break for it."

Kadaj's eyes widened slightly in surprise and Yazoo's mouth opened somewhat in astonishment. The two exchanged a look and stared then looked at Loz, then back at one another again.

"He actually said something insightful." Kadaj mumbled under his breath in a hushed tone that wasn't lost on Loz, "Do you think he's ill?"

"Y-you **meanies!**" Loz whimpered, biting down on his lower lip to keep the sobs down.

"Whatever the case, he _**does**_ have a point." Yazoo said languidly, stretching his arms over his head as he strode back towards the clearing, extracting a Green Materia sphere from a concealed pouch at his hip and forcing it into his arms as he disappeared around the bend.

* * *

He returned sometime later, rotating his arm in the socket. 

"Taken care of?" Kadaj asked casually as Loz finished composing himself.

"Yes, I've dealt with the…obvious error in our plan." Yazoo sighed, tossing a look a Loz with a tiny smile, "You do have your moments of clarity I suppose."

Loz instantly brightened at the words of praise, choosing to ignore the insult they were coated with and enjoy them while they lasted.

"Yes, now let's be on our way." Kadaj said, turning on his heel, swatting Loz lightly on the arm as he passed, "We've wasted enough time on trivialities, don't you think?"

_"Well that was fast."_ Loz thought irritably, falling in step with his younger brother as they finally made their way to the edge of the forest, where their motorcycles waited for them.

As they rode along, Loz had to wonder what the plan of attack would be. I mean, they really hadn't come up with anything specific. This worried Loz, because he knew that this meant they were flying blind against, what he knew from previous encounters, to be some very strong opponents.

They were probably riding off to their deaths…and he knew it. He didn't wanna die! He just wanted to be reunited with Mother. That's all. There had been nothing in the mission statement about dying pointlessly.

It was all Loz could do to keep from breaking down on his chopper, but he knew that would almost certainly result in him crashing into a boulder or some other large obstructing object, meaning once again, a pointless death.

_"Waaaaah…I don't wanna die."_ Loz thought, hiccupping as he willed the tears down, _"I haven't even had the chance to taste kiwi yet. I haven't even been drunk yet! Gotta make sure I come out of this alive."_

* * *

"_**Mommy!**_" Jayden cried happily, overjoyed to see her mother, awake, upright and chastising her brothers, also awake looking rather tetchy in their own hospital beds, "**Charlie!_ Kyle!_**" 

"**Jayden!**" Mikayla cried, attention instantly diverted from reprimanding her boys as her youngest was wheeled into the room, "Oh thank **_goodness_** you're alright!"

"Hey little sis. 'bout time." Kyle remarked with a smirked as Rude pushed her to Mikayla's bedside where the two hugged each other as tightly as their broken bodies would allow.

"Man sis…you look like shit." Charlie remarked with a low whistle, drawing a piercing glare from his mother and an eye roll from his sister.

"That what **I** said." Reno said with a grin, resulting in Rude smacking him across the back of the head, "And I **_always_** seem to end up getting hit for it too."

"That's because you never say that a woman." Rude said with a tired sigh, "Seriously, it's just bad manners. You never say anything to a female about her looks, weight, anything. It could get you killed man."

"**Especially** when said woman's brothers are within earshot." Kyle said with an evil smile, looking surprising threatening for an invalid in a hospital.

"Puh-_**leez**_. You wouldn't last **five minutes**, even if you **_were_** full strength." Jayden remarked drably, still trapped in the arms of her mother.

Mikayla still latched onto her daughter, was smiling happily at the miraculous return of her child's long, far more feminine hair. Which she was currently playing with.

"Aside from which-I really don't care." Jayden said listlessly, not minding her mother groping her head, "I've never really cared about my looks. You know that. I mean really, not much t' care about."

"Jayden, **how** many times do I have to say it before it _**drills**_ it's way into your skull - you're **very** pretty." Mikayla said exasperatedly, absently braiding her youngest child's hair into pigtails.

* * *

"**_You_** are our mother." Charlie snorted, shaking his shaggy head, "You're like, required by **law** to think the three of us are cute, or somethin'." 

"No matter **_what_** kinda swamp things we happen t' be when you pump us out." Kyle chimed in agreement, his curls boucing as he nodded his head, Jayden's devious smirk not lost on him.

"What?" he asked, looking vaguely annoyed.

"Boy-oi-yoi-yoi-yoing." She snickered, wishing she was close enough to tweak her brother's mini-fro.

"Oh shut it." Charlie said good naturedly, twisting a strand of his hair around his index finger, "Don't know how this happened, but oh well. Guess some higher power doesn't like dyed hair."

"Must've been talking to **mom**, or something." Kyle said with a nod, causing Mikayla to childishly stick her tongue out at her son.

"**_Wow_**, you guys are just **so** nice to each other." Reno snorted sarcastically, a smirk on his lips, "Does my heart good to see such a **_loving_** family."

"Hey, we could always revert to ripping each other's throats out." Charlie smirked mischievously, "If that's less offensive to ya or somethin'."

"I **don't** think that's really necessary." Rude said quickly, clamping a hand over Reno's mouth and hissing, "_Not Another. _Word_ out of you._"

"Charlie, please, that's enough." Mikayla said tiredly, massaging the bridge of her nose, "Let's just be thankful to these people for bringing us to the hospital after that explosion."

Jayden twitched. **_Now_** she was in bit of a quandary: did she tell her mom and brother's the truth, that they had somehow been dragged through a dimensional rift and into an alternate universe where video game characters were real, and out herself as a gamer in the process?

**Or** did she allow them to continue believing the sweet, naïve lie of that they were all still in Washington, in Harborview, or possibly Overlake Hospital after a terrorist explosion in their quiet little neighborhood, in their town that was so tiny, you could throw a rock from end to end?

Both were pretty out there, and the possibility of either story being believed was insane…but then again this whole **_situation_** was psychotic. In fact, Jayden was almost positive now that she had gone insane, and, until the nurse cane with her daily injection and adjusted te straps on her straight jacket, she decided, why not go along with the gag? …for now.

"Yeah Mommy." Jayden said, a wild smile on her face that made a cold thrill shoot up Reno's spine and caused Rude to crack his knuckles instinctively, "We really **should** be thankful to these people for saving our lives. Thank you **_oh_**, so much!"

* * *

"There it is, Brothers." Yazoo said with a smirk on his lips, and a predatory gleam in his eyes, "Edge. The city where our traitor of a brother is. And perhaps Mother as well." 

"Are we clear on the plan?" Kadaj asked calmly, eyes still trained on the city, rather than the faces of his siblings, causing the looks of bewilderment flitting across them to be totally lost on him.

"Plan?" Loz asked, quirking an eyebrow and scratching the back of his head, "**What** plan? I wasn't aware that we even _**had**_ a plan."

"Nor was I." Yazoo said in his usual cryptic tone, averting his gaze away from Kadaj, whose eyes were now bearing into his spine as if to say,_ 'You were supposed to nod your head and say 'yes', not agree with him, simpleton.'_

"Then allow me to remind you." Kadaj sighed, running his fingers back through his hair in an attempt to relieve his stress, "We go in, eliminate the traitor, round up the rest of our siblings to aid in the search for Mother…you get it."

"Yeah…but what about his **friends?**" Loz piped up, making Kadaj lurch forward as his foot slipped off the throttle, "We have to think of a way to deal with **_them_**, too!"

"Yes, they aren't exactly pushovers." Yazoo said evenly, inclining his head slightly and adding to the mounting irritation Kadaj was experiencing, "I actually had to cast a **Cure** spell to deal with the damage they did last time."

"We'll **_deal_** with it as it **comes**." Kadaj ground out through gritted teeth, exhaling a breath he had been subconsciously holding out of stress, "Go with the flow and all that."

"But are you certain that's the wisest route to go?" Yazoo asked mildly, Loz turning his gaze upon his eldest sibling questioningly, cocking his head to the side like a puppy.

"**_Yes_**." Kadaj snapped, leaning forward to rest his head on the backs of his hands, "I'm certain. Now, unless you have any **more** life threatening questions, I suggest we move on."

* * *

"Alright, is everyone clear on their positions?" Cloud asked severely, hitching his Buster sword on his shoulder in to a more comfortable position. 

"**_Yup!_**" Yuffie said enthusiastically, "Cid, Barrett, RedXIII and myself are to station ourselves in the Shera and conceal the airship behind the new Shn-Ra building."

"I'm to position myself in Aerith's old church." Tifa said with a nod, triple checking the pouch at her hip to ensure that her gloves were still there, "Hopefully, we can avoid the _'Marlene-Getting-Abducted'_ scenario that was on almost every…informative site by having her stay with Vincent."

"But I wanna stay with **Denzel**." Marlene said, voicing her obvious objection of being distanced from the ailing boy.

"Cait Sith and Elena are gonna stay with him." Barrett said evenly, getting down to his adoptive child's level while speaking, "If things start getting' dicey, Elena might hafta leave, but Cait Sith'll stay with'em, kay?"

"…okay." Marlene mumbled, staring at the floor in childlike crossness as Barrett ruffled her hair, "I'll go with Mr. Valentine."

She moved forward, Vincent opened his cape, Marlene clutched onto his pant leg and he closed it again after her.

"Rufus and Tseng are going to wait in the portion of the Shin-Ra building that's still under construction." Cloud said evenly, shifting his weight slightly, "Shinra has had a JENOVA dummy head prepared in case our efforts fail, so everything's been taken care of on his end."

"Reno and Rude are prepped and ready to start evacuating the city when and if the Bahamut SIN makes it's appearance." Elena said evenly, leafing through the Advent Children storyline Tifa had printed off at Jayden's place, "It's hard to believe that everything that's about to occur is all right here on these pieces of paper." she muttered to herself.

"I shall go with Cloud to the city limits." Vincent said crisply, giving Marlene's shoulder a tentative pat under his cape with is human hand, "To await the arrival of the Remnants and hopefully prevent Sephiroth's resurrection from ever occurring."

"Alright. So, I guess all we really need is to get into place, huh?" Yuffie said brightly, hopping off her bar stool, "I'll go meet up with Cid then. C'mon Barrett! Let's save the world - _**again!**_"

* * *

(A/N: The Remnants, AVALANCHE, and the Turks confront one another, a 'strange creature' is bounding through the hospital wing of the Shin-Ra building, and much, much more! R&R!)

* * *

_**-AUTHORESS-ALERT-AUTHORESS-AUTHORESS-ALERT-AUTHORESS-ALERT-AUTHORESS-ALERT-AUTHORESS-ALERT-AUTHORESS-ALERT-**_

I do this poll in all fics of mine in which I enlist an OC. I have so far managed to totally avoid the subject of pairings, but if I did pair up any of my OC's with anybody, would you all object?

If the ratio oF "NO's" to "YES's" is greater, I wont do it. If it's the other way around, I might consider it. After all, in the area of romance, people tend to get a little out of hand and turn their charas into the vile beings known as Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus.

Send me your thoughts in Revies or PM's. Your input as my readers is crucial in this matter as it may effect the very plot line of the story.

_**-AUTHORESS-ALERT-AUTHORESS-AUTHORESS-ALERT-AUTHORESS-ALERT-AUTHORESS-ALERT-AUTHORESS-ALERT-AUTHORESS-ALERT-**_


	11. Down The Rabbit Hole & Back Again

(A/N: Hey all! It's me again! Apparently, a lot of you are cool with me pair my OC up with someone. However, the whole, romance thing is gonna be a slow thing. No 'instantaneous-ohmigod-you-are-the-one-I-must-spend-my-life-with' crap. That's not how I roll, dudes and dudettes.

At any rate, thank you to all who reviewed and to all who responed to my poll. I love you lots and all opinions you have help me a lot! And now, sisnce I think i've kept you in suspense long enough, ON WITH THE FIC!)

* * *

"Alright, Vincent. This is far enough." Cloud said firmly as the they reached the outskirts of Edge, "Remember, your main objective is to ensure Marlene's safety. Understood?"

Vincent nodded, Marlene peeking her head out from within the folds of the former Turk's cape to peer up at the ex-SOLDIER.

"Cloud…you're coming back, right?" she asked tentatively, looking into his face inquisitively, "We're going back to Seventh Heaven together, right?"

Cloud stared into the face of the child looking up at him so earnestly, letting his gaze travel up to the expressionless void of Vincent's visage, offering him no out and then back to Marlene again, still looking at him hopefully.

"…right." Cloud said after a time, revving the engine of his chopper before taking off in the direction he knew from the print outs that the Remnants would be coming from.

The sound of the engine roaring in his ears, the sight of three dust clouds in the distance met his eyes, causing a tiny flicker of glee to shoot through his chest.

As expected, the Remnants were right on time and heading straight for him…or to be more accurate, straight for Edge.

They looked, at least in Cloud's opinion, more than slightly surprised to see him racing straight for them instead of the other way around, sword out and ready.

With a single sweep, Cloud blew Yazoo and Loz off their original course, leaving him to deal with the main problem of the three, Kadaj - the embodiment of Sephiroth's cruel, childish nature and boundless determination for vengeance.

Yazoo and Loz, quickly regaining their balance, spun their cycles around and shot off towards Edge once more, not about to be deterred from their objective find 'Mother', leaving Kadaj to deal with Cloud.

Knowing that Vincent was in need of a cell (thanks in large part to the information printed in Jayden's world) Tifa had purchased him another before they had set out, which Cloud quickly dialed as Kadaj shot towards him.

"Vincent, Loz and Yazoo are heading your way." He said shortly, hanging up quickly so he could block Kadaj's strike at his neck.

Cloud shifted his weight viciously and swung at Kadaj, who predictably, managed to block the assault. They matched each other blow for blow.

_"It's just like fighting Sephiroth all over again."_ Cloud thought bitterly as the fight continued to go no where except closer to the city of Edge, _"I can easily see how Kadaj could be a vestige of that monster."_

* * *

Vincent, noting the abrupt end to the call, knew that A) he couldn't waste any time dawdling, and B) his main priority at the moment was the safety of Barrett's adopted child. 

So, as Per Cloud's request, he proceeded to press three on speed dial, ringing up Cid in the Shera.

"Yazoo and Loz are approaching your current location." Vincent coolly, giving Marlene's shoulder a light squeeze with his good hand, "Alert the others."

"_On it. But what's that Chocobo-head doin? Takin' a nap?_" Cid asked crossly from his end, the muted sounds of his foot tapping against the metal floor not lost on Vincent as it echoed through the receiver.

"**He** is dealing with Kadaj." Vincent said crisply, keeping his eyes trained on the Remnant pair quickly approaching the unsuspecting city on their bikes, "Now please contact the Turks so they can start the evacuations, and Tifa so that she can ready herself."

"_Yeah, yeah. I'm go- hey! Give that ba-!_" Cid yelled, the sound of a struggle ensuing at the other end, causing a look of mild confusion to flit across Vincent's face.

"_Hey Vince! Izzat you? What's goin' on? Izzit starting already?_" Yuffie's voice cried stridently, Cid's pissed off voice in the background shouting, "_Gimme back my goddamn phone, you freakin' klepto!_"

"Yuffie…please give the phone back to Cid." Vincent said calmly, tone never wavering from it's usual even tone, "It's imperative that I speak to him."

Yuffie, sounding very grumpy, chucked the phone back to Cid, who was still cursing a blue streak. Vincent, out of pure instinct, covered Marlene's ear with his good hand and pressed the side of her head that he wasn't covering into his leg to block out the foul words.

After it seemed that Cid had calmed himself, Vincent released his grip on Marlene's skull and loosed a slow sigh, catching the pilot's attention again.

"Please contact the other's Cid." Vincent repeated for the third time, getting a bit annoyed at this point, even for one with a seemingly limitless supply of patience, "_**Now?**_ **Please?**"

"_I'm on it._" Cid said, an odd mixture of guilt and awkwardness in his tone, "_Sorry for flyin' off th' handle like that that, man. I just hate it when she does that._"

"Just contact them." Vincent ground out for the fourth time, before hanging up with a snap.

* * *

Something streaked past the break room on the first floor, startling several ShinRa employees on break. 

"_**Hey! **_What th' **fuck** was that?" Man A asked, watching as the tail end of whatever it was vanished up the stairs.

The thing shot past the cubicles of several more workers, causing their heads to pop up like daisies over the edges of their grey, fabric lined partitions.

"Dude, did you just…what th' **_hell_** was-!" Man B sputtered, shaking a bit as the creature disappeared around the corner.

"I have **no** idea, but Mr. President said not to bother him." Woman A said uneasily, maintaining a firm grip on her stapler, as though it would save her from what ever evil the animal brought with it.

The beast shot down the hall of the third floor, startling the ShinRa employees, even though they had been informed from people on the ground and second floor that it was making its way towards them.

"We won't **_call_** Mr. Shinra then! We'll take it out ourselves!" Woman B said stoutly, not looking anywhere near as confident as she sounded as she watched whatever the creature happened to be dart up the stairs.

"But we have to tell someone!" Man C said adamantly, a thoughtful look crossing his face, "Call Reno and Rude! **They're** still in the building!"

"Yeah, let'm know there's some sorta weird animal in the building!" Woman C chimed in agreement as Man D activated the com device in his collar, "Reno? This is Man D. A starnge creatur of some sort is heading your way."

"…right. We'll be on guard." Rude said into his collar, drawing stares from everyone but Jayden, who had grown accustomed to Rude and Reno being called away from her room because of the communicator sewn into their lapels.

"What is it?" Mikayla asked politely, an expression of awkward graciousness on her face as turned her eyes on the Turks.

"Apparently a strange animal is heading our way." Reno smirked, withdrawing the shock rod from it's slot on his belt. Eyeing the door, which stood ajar.

"Here it comes." Rude said, body tensing as the sound of paws pounding against the Formica floor met his ears.

The creator of the panic, as well as the din filling the halls, bounded through the halls, between Reno's legs, causing the red-head to flip onto his back and shot straight for Jayden.

* * *

"Hnuh-Chewy?" Jayden balked as the Great Dane smashed into her, overturning the wheelchair and seny her crashing to the floor as the canine, matted fur and chapped, bloodied paws, started giving her a tongue bath. 

"**GLAAAAAAAAAUGH! _CHEWWYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!_**" Jayden squealed as she tried to block the dog's frenetic licking with both hands, "**Gerroff **me ya dumb **_mutt!_**"

"…what th' fuck?" Kyle mumbled as Charlie exploded in a fit of laughter at his sister's predicament, "That dumb dog followed us all the way here?"

"**Chewbacca!_ Off!_**" Mikayla said in a cold, authorative tone that sent the dog off her child and whimpering quietly to a corner.

"Aw, no need t' be so harsh, Mommy." Jayden said with a grunt as she pushed herself into a sitting position and wiped the slobber off her mouth, "He was just happy t' see us…that's all."

"Sheesh…he steamrolls you and you're **defending** him?" Reno snorted, rolling his eyes, "What are ya, a glutton for punishment or somethin'?"

"No, he just my iddle biddle puppy wuvkins." Jayden cooed in a baby voice, seriously freaking Reno out.

He didn't have long to spaz though as his cell went off in his back pocket. He dug it out and flipped it open in a single smooth motion that only CG characters are capable of.

"Yo?" he asked, eyebrow raising at the sound of Cid's voice on the other end, "Really?…already huh?…alright. I'll tell'm."

Reno looked at Rude who seemed to either have super human hearing or was telepathic, because without a word being exchanged between the two, he strode over to Charlie's bed and unfolded a wheelchair resting beside it.

"We're evacuating." He said calmly, lowering the guardrail on the gurney and assisting Charlie into it.

"Evacu-why? What's going on?" Kyle asked nervously as Reno did the same as Rude to his gurney, lifting him into the wheelchair when the mini-fro'd teen didn't move.

"Probably more of the same, hun." Mikayla said, tension in her voice as Rude moved on to her bed after Charlie had been successfully transferred to his wheelchair.

Reno surveyed the wreckage that had formerly been Jayden's chair; the left wheel was bent inward and the back of the seat torn out from the force of Chewbacca's impact.

"Guess who's goin' piggyback?" Reno smirked, looming over the gangly teen, "I'll give ya a hint: she' short, skinny and her name rhymes with Raymond."

"**_Ohhhhhhhhhhhh _no**" she said, scooching herself towards the Great Dane in the corner, "Don't you even **_think_** about it."

"Too late." Reno shrugged, a devil-may-care grin on his lips as he swung her scrawny frame up and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"**PUT ME _DOWN_ YOU _PERVERT! _LEMME _GO_, YOU GOGGLE-WEARING-_FREAK!_**" Jayden shrieked, pounding against Reno's back with her fists, somehow forgetting that this wasn't her world and that he barely even felt the blows.

* * *

The Souba and Buster Sword collided again and again, sending flashes of vibrant energy sparking into the air. 

The roar of the choppers ad they tore into the landscape, fishtailing and violently recovering from each fearsome strike was all that the ex-SOLDIER could hear.

Cloud grew more and more frustrated with each strike; they were so evenly matched it was **sickening**. He just couldn't get a leg up on Kadaj, who's superior smirk so resembled that of Aerith's killer that it was all Cloud could do to keep himself from becoming physically ill.

And he was getting a strange sense of déjà vu as he continued to rain down blows on the youngest of the Silver Haired Triad.

It was as if his skin itself was becoming electrically charged, and that strange sense was moving inwards to his vital organs.

Cloud knew that he wasn't the only one experiencing this strange sensation as a perplexed look flickered across Kadaj's pale face for an instant before returning to it's normal predatorial gaze.

_"Now that's odd."_ Cloud thought awkwardly, his body moving on instinct now as Kadaj continued to strike, _"Does he feel it too?"_

The feeling was becoming increasingly more and more strange; it felt now as though he was attempting to fight the Remnant underwater.

Cloud's limbs felt so heavy and sluggish, like her was attempting to do battle in a thick, viscous liquid, comparable to pudding.

And while his body was slowing, everything around him spun around him at speeds that shouldn't have been possible, blending into one single color that was psychologically painful.

Cloud couldn't stand it anymore and, in moment of weakness, squeezed his eyes shut, praying to every deity he knew of that the Remnant known as Kadaj was doing the same.

He knew now why this felt so familiar as a piercing light began to filter it's way through his eyelids – this is exactly what had happened each time before he had crossed worlds.

* * *

Cloud felt his stomach fly into his throat and heard the sounds of springs squeaking beneath him and a loud thud next to him as the light began to fade. 

He chanced opening his eyes. Cloud recognized this place instantaneously as Jayden's bedroom and his 'landing pad' as Jayden's bed.

Kadaj had had the unfortunate luck of landing on the floor beside it, but had recovered faster than Cloud and darted out the hole that had formerly been Jayden's window.

From downstairs, a series of loud thumps, thuds, bangs, crashes and groans met his ears and, switching himself off the mattress and goose down comforter, Cloud made his way out of the room .

"Oh…owww…" Tifa moaned, Cid's elbow currently grinding itself into her ribs, "Cid…**_please_**…get off me."

Cid did no such thing as a chunk of plaster hit him in the temple during the fall, knocking him out cold.

"Kid…you okay?" Elena asked bleakly, Denzel slung over her shoulder and Elena herself hanging from a light fixture.

Cait Sith hung from Elena's foot, perfectly unharmed, much to everyone's disgust.

"Uh-huh…I think so." Denzel said dully, eyes glassy from the Geostigma induced fever.

Vincent sat atop a bookcase, opening his cloak to reveal to Barrett, sprawled out on the floor beneath him, that Marlene was unharmed.

"**Daddy!**" Marlene cried, releasing her death grip on Vincent's calf and landing on her adoptive father's stomach.

"_**Oomph!**_" Barrett grunted as the air was forced from his lungs, "_N-nice t' see you…too._" He replied wheezily.

Cloud moved down the stairs and into the living room, where Tseng (smashed through the kitchen table) and Rufus Shinra (landed on the kitchen counter funny) were assessing their injuries.

Rude was laying out an unconscious Mikayla on the still intact sofa and shuffling debris aside so he could do the same for Kyle and Charlie, who had also gone out to lunch on the return trip.

Reno had had no such luck with Jayden, still slung over his shoulder, still screaming at him to put her down while Chewbacca pranced around happily wondering if it was play time.

Yuffie was where the computer used to be, rubbing her back irritably.

Loz and Yazoo were no where in sight, presumably having escaped and gone off to join Kadaj.

_"Well…"_ Cloud thought, sitting down hard on a chair that had somehow managed to survive the attacks, _"…this is just great."_

* * *

(A/N: Jayden discovers that only five minutes have passed since she entered the realm of Final Fantasy and that thanks to Yuffie's Materia Fetish, Jayden's house and neighborhood is restored. Theories are developed surrounding Jayden's meddling. R&R!)


	12. Tag Out

(A/N: Hey all! Joost a warnin' to ya! Get's a moit sad towards the end o' this chappie, ahroit? Hee! Howdya like my Irish accent, eh? Not too shabby iffin I say so myself! And now, ON WITH THE FIC!)

* * *

After '_**convincing'**_ Reno to put her down (she bit his wrist) Jayden stumbled about the downstairs on her fallowed legs, doing her best to avoid tripping over debris and CG feet as she made her way into the kitchen to check the time. 

She wasn't exactly sure on the passage of time between here and Gaia – whether they were different or the same that is – but one way to be certain was to drag her way to the counter and check her mom's flip phone, which had miraculously had escaped all damage done by the attack.

To her utter astonishment, the time on the display read 9:15, and the date was still December 15th, 2006 - the date of the attack. The only five minutes had passed here since being zapped to Gaia.

It **really** shouldn't have been so shocking, given how fast some of the sections could go for experienced gamers, but _**seriously**_, an entire **week**, maybe two (she wasn't sure how long she had been out for) had **_passed_** there!

"_Man oh man…if I could fix it so I could pop to Gaia for summer vaca I'd have about twenty years worth of-STOP IT!"_ Jayden snapped internally, giving herself a mental slap across the face, _"You want to be rid of these guys – remember dumbass? Don't go native on me now!"_

She glowered sullenly about the wreckage that had once been her combination kitchen/living room; the floor was riddled with bullet holes and covered with broken glass, chunks of dry wall, and pieces of wood.

Oh and of course the computer…or what used to be a computer…you really couldn't call it that anymore, was in about thirty seven pieces scattered about the ex-kitchen; electronic components and insulated wire were absolutely everywhere.

"_Why did I talk to them?"_ she thought with frustrated sighed, letting herself slump to the floor, _"I could have just dismissed them for cosplayers and gone on my merry way, but I just had to go and open my big, fat, fuckin' mouth. And what did it land me?"_

Jaydne gazed about the wreckage that used to be her house, drank in the sight of Rufus Shinra, currently having his torso bandaged by Tseng, allowed her gaze to travel to the living room where Rude and Cloud were tending to her family…then let her head drop again.

"_Yeah…this'll teach me."_ She thought dully, wrapping her arms around her knees, _"Next time, I'll listen to Opa and Abuela – video games are hazardous to your health. After this, I don't know if I'll ever…okay, I will - but with an added level of respect and fear."

* * *

_

"**NO!**" Yuffie shrieked, backing up against a wall as Tifa, RedXIII and Barrett closed in on her, "**I won't _do it!_ You can't _make me!_ NEVER! _NEVER!_ NEVER!**"

"Yuffie, come on. This is no time to be petty." Tifa said scoldingly as Yuffie flattened herself against the wall as they encircled her even more, "It's the _**least**_ we can do."

"No. The **least** we can do is **_nothing_**." Yuffie said pointedly, hand clasped tightly over the satchel that contained some "recently acquired" materia spheres, "And that's been working out **fabulously** up til now if you haven't noticed!"

"You call _**this**_ fabulous?" RedXIII snorted, eyeing the ruins that could once be called a family room, "I think you and your common sense need to reconnect."

Yuffie opened her mouth to retort but instead let loose a shriek of protest as Cait Sith pulled…well…a Yuffie, by snatching her materia from her arms with his tail, hopping quickly to Tifa where he deposited the magical amplifiers in her arms.

"Really now Yuffie, its not as though going to totally deplete your supply." Tifa said exasperatedly, rolling her eyes as she extracted a Green Materia from the satchel and tossed it back to the thief, "We just need enough to Restore the damage done to the house and surrounding neighborhood."

Barrett shook his head in disgust as Yuffie face contorted into an expression of mourning at the barely noticeable weight change of her satchel.

"_That ho should shut'er mouth."_ Barrett thought with a snort, rolling his eyes as he moved to follow Tifa, _"I know for a fact she stole mosta those off Cid."_

Tifa walked over to Cloud, who had finished assessing Charlie, and tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Here." she said, pressing the materia into his hand, "To Restore this neighborhood to the way it once was. After all…we sorta aided in abetted the damage by being here, so…"

Cloud nodded and inserted the Green materia into the top slot of the Buster sword.

"I'll be right back." he said calmly, walking towards the sliding glass door with Chewbacca on his heels, prancing about him merrily and totally destroying whatever serious tone he was attempting to set.

Cloud slid the door open and the Great Dane shot past him bounding ecstatically around the back yard. Cloud observed the animal's behavior, and wondered how anything could be so happy all the time, feeling a strange twinge of envy in his chest that he quickly dismissed as he leapt onto the roof.

He spun the broadsword seven times, the materia glowing brightly, its power engulfing his sword. Cloud brought the weapon high above his head and bellowed:

"_**RESTORE!**_"

* * *

A blaze of light washed over the wreckage that had had once been the residential neighborhood causing every destroyed building and crater in the street to return to its original state. 

It was as if this suburban area was a whiteboard, the damage done by the Remnants was a bunch of profanities written across it in dry erase marker and the spell itself was a combination of an eraser and cleaner – it was as if had never happened.

Cloud landed in the backyard with the ease only a CG character is capable of, falling head first into a shrubbery as Chewbacca, back to health and full of pep, chose that precise moment to bound between his legs, braying as though it was '**Wake up Call**'.

Scowling slightly at the overly energetic, every happy animal, he clamored to his feet and decided to ignore the canine's joyous howls at his renewed wellbeing, Cloud re-entered Jayden's home.

Feeling a pair of surly eyes staring at him from the kitchen, he turned to find his unwilling hostess sitting on the floor, noting the bruise that had covered half her face was finally gone.

Cloud wasn't exactly why she was scowling at him though, he was just aware of the fact that she was…and that it was a little unnerving. I mean, really. The girl was barely blinking. Just staring…and staring…blinked once…then continued staring.

"What? What is it?" he asked, feeling rather uncomfortable under the unwavering stare she was tossing his way.

"…you have company." She said evenly, pointing to Cloud's head just as he felt something start skittering its way down his neck, "There're spiders on your head. Thought you oughta know."

Cloud let loose a yelp and began to swat and claw at his head, as Reno Cid and Barrett chose to laugh at his plight rather than assist him as Tifa, Elena and Marlene did…or attempted to.

"That not how ya do it." Jayden called over the raucous laughter that echoed of the walls, "Ya hafta dunk his head in water t' flush all of'm out…or they might lay eggs in his brain."

"In my **_WHAT?_**" Cloud cried.

"In his **WHAT?**" Tifa and Marlene shrieked.

"Just get his head in water." Jayden said placidly, plugging her ears, "**_God_**, must you people **always** be so loud?"

Vincent, hearing the commotion, as well as Jayden's statement, entered the kitchen, plugged the sink and turned on the faucet.

Cloud then dashed across the kitchen and thrust his head in the sink so fast he nearly knocked himself out.

"**_Yeep!_ Eeek!**" Marlene squealed, dancing out of the way of the arachnids, Cloud had managed to shake out of his hair and onto the floor. Without so much as an after thought, Jayden clamored to her feet and crossed the floor, crushing several dozen spider bodies as she went.

"C'mon, girl." She snorted, crossing the room to smack Reno across the back of the head now that she had her strength back…only to miss (stupid Turk reflexes) "You're twenty times _**bigger**_ than they are! Chill out!"

* * *

"Now then." Jayden said firmly sometime later, now that Cloud's hair was spider free, "While I was sick, I've had a lot of time to think. And I think that my help may have done more harm than good." 

"What do you mean by that?" Rufus asked, quirking an eyebrow at Jayden from his place of honor in the lone easy chair in her bedroom surrounded by the entire Turk assemblage.

"What I **mean** is, that by giving you information on the Remnants, Sephiroth, timelines, I've defied the laws of canon in your world." She replied from her seat on the floor.

"The laws of _**whut?**_" Barrett asked, a blank expression on his face.

"**Canon**." Jayden sighed, not allowing this interruption to rattle her cage, "The original plot line of Gaia as it were."

"I see." Elena nodded, paling slightly as the gravity of what Jayden had just said smacked her full on in the face, "By giving us outside assistance, we may have completely altered the fabric of our existence."

"Our very subsistence may be in danger." Vincent said gravely, eyes practically burning holes through the floor.

"Many things may change in the future timeline because I've interfered." Jayden sighed, "For one, because Cloud and Kadaj never had their showdown in Aerith's church, the cure for Geostigma may never be discovered."

"Oh **_god_**." Tifa gasped, hand flying to her mouth and arm wrapping around Denzel, "I never even stopped to think about that."

"Another thing I know for certain is this – no matter how much you hate it, Sephiroth **HAS** to be revived. It's pivotal." Jayden said evenly, ignoring the shocked looks thrown her way, "If you destroy the Remnant's before one of them has a chance to fuse with JENOVA, It will alter things in ways I'd rather not think about. For all I know, we'd be dealing with male pregnancy or somethin'."

Rude, Reno, Cloud, Barrett, and Vincent eyed each other warily, the memory of the Yaoi sites still fresh in their minds, and inched away from one another just a bit.

"I _**knew**_ we couldn't trust ya." Reno sighed, eyeing Jayden irritably while fingering his shock rod idly, "Knew I shoulda fried ya when I had th' chance, yo."

Tseng shot Reno a withering look and Jayden turned an exhausted look Reno's way.

"I don't know what I have to do." she mumbled, resting her forehead in her palm, "I've done every last, microscopic little thing you've asked of me…and yet you all still treat me like a criminal. I've even let you in on my stupid error…even when I had the opportunity to keep it to myself and let you all flounder around.

Jayden slumped forward, allowing her forehead to rest on her wrists as she loosed a long, noisy sigh.

"I just don't know what else I can possibly do to make you trust me." She muttered in a calm tone, voice slight muffled since she apparently didn't have the energy required to raise her head, "And at this point…I'm just too wiped to try anymore. I just don't have it left to give anymore…I'm just too tired."

"C'mon." Marlene said cheerfully, giving Jayden's hand a pat, "Don't give up! Please?"

Jayden raised her head slightly and stared hard at the small child in front of her…at least that's what Marlene thought.

"There's a spider on you." she commented drably, pointing to the little girl's arm. Marlene screamed, causing Barrett to switch into Parental Mode and bat the arachnid off his adoptive daughter.

Denzel hopped into, _'I-Don't-Care-If-I'm-Sick-I-Must-Help-My-Girl'_ mode, ignoring his pain to help Barrett comfort Marlene.

In all of this chaos, no one noticed Jayden slip out of the room…or the fact that she had been missing…until Cait Sith and RedXIII pointed it out fifteen minutes later.

* * *

Jayden hadn't gotten far tho' as it turned out. She was just downstairs, tossing a ball in the air for Chewbacca to catch while she lazily gnawed on the end of what appeared to be a piece of dead wood. 

"What are you doing?" Cid asked, shooting a scowl her way, which she chose to ignore in favor of tossing the ball behind him so Chewbacca would knock him off his feet.

"Playing with my puppy." Jayden said blandly through a mouthful of jerky as Chewbacca brought the ball back, "Or has that suddenly become a criminal act too?"

"Well knock it off, foo'." Barrett growled as the tennis ball narrowly missed his head, and Chewbacca just barely avoided plowing him down as he bounded after it, "Y' hafta help us think of a way t' fix this!"

"I **have **to?" Jayden asked in an excessively peaceful tone, tugging the toy free from her pet's mouth and sending it rocketing dangerously close to Vincent's ear, "Funny. Seems to me that I don't really have to do much of anything anymore."

"You sure you don't wanna rethink your position here?" Reno growled, flipping the switch on his shock rod causing a shower of sparks to shoot towards the floor as Chewbacca returned to Jayden, ball in mouth.

"Nope." She replied instantaneously, wrestling with Chewbacca for the toy, "This entire time, you've controlled me with fear. You've said it yourself, the worse you could do is kill me. And at this point, I think I'd enjoy the break."

Ball freed at last, Jayden sent it sailing at Rude this time, who easily moved aside as the dog loped past him.

"Jayden-" Tifa began.

"Oh **_do_** shut up Tifa." Jayden replied in the same, overly calm tone, "I'm tired of being treated like a criminal when I've done nothing wrong. You want help? Go help yourselves. I'm done."

"Jayden-" Yuffie started, but apparently the sound of the klepto-kunoichi's voice was what finally sent her over the edge.

"**GO! _FUCK _YOURSELVES!**" she suddenly shrieked, leaping off her chair so quickly it clattered to the floor, "**I CAN'T _DO_ THIS ANYMORE, GOD_DAMN_ IT! I'M SO _FUCKIN'_ TIRED OF HAVIN' T' BE SO _GOD_DAMN _COMPLIANT_, AND _NICE_, AND, _AND_, …JUST A WHOLE BUNCH OF _SHIT_ I CAN'T _THINK_ OF RIGHT NOW!**"

Jayden was crying and wasn't even aware of that just yet. _**Hell**_, she had even forgotten about her mother and brother still in Happy-Comatoastie-Land upstairs (courtesy of the AVALANCHE group)

"**_JUST_ LEMME ALONE!**" she screamed, startling everyone present (startled because in their entire time with her, she has NEVER gotten this loud) as she threw open the garage door, stormed outside and slammed it shut after her, leaving them behind with Chewbacca, blissfully aware of the severity of the situation, who chose that exact moment to drop his toy on Elena's feet.

* * *

(A/N: Jayden has run off. Charlie, and Kyle regain consciousness. The Remnants try to put two and two together, and much, much more! R&R!) 


	13. Humble Pie? I Think Not

(A/N: Merry Fucking Christmachannakwannzaka Beeyatches! Woot! I made out like a bandit! I got a new laptop! Which I wrote this next chappie on! WEEEEEEEEEE! I hope you all enjoy! With that said, ON WITH THE FICCY!)

* * *

Jayden stomped down 179th through the cheerless, seemingly constant Northwest drizzle wondering about what to do next. She hadn't really thought too far ahead about what she was gonna do next. 

She **knew** turning around and heading home was out, as that would mean dealing with the CG characters made real once more, and she had no delusions about them feeling remorseful about their behavior and apologizing like in all those Suethor fanfics – that would be just plain gullibility.

Going to any of her friend's houses to hole up for a day or three was out. Mandie and Randi would be fine for maybe letting her stay for about two hours before their parents chucked her out on her ass. Lindsey…well, she wasn't even sure where Lindsey **_lived_**.

The same could be said for Valerie and Moose. Katrina was out due to her overly controlling **psycho** parents. And Alexa had so many brother's and sisters, that Jayden seriously doubted Alexa would appreciate the hassle factor.

So where could she go? Who did Jayden know that she was cool with and was cool with her that wouldn't mind Jayden crashing at their place for a couple days?

It would have to be someone older. Someone she trusted. Someone independent. Someone like…

Jayden mentally punched herself for being so stupid.

"**_Mischa!_**" she sighed as she reached the gas station at the end of the block, "**Sheesh**…talk about overlooking the **_obvious_**."

Now very damp from walking in the rain without cover, Jayden walked to the payphone and dialed up Charlie's girlfriend in Snohomish.

Mischa Dalton was 20 so she was older, not to mention Mischa was the only girl Jayden had ever approved of to **BE** Charlie's girlfriend, so there was a definite level of trust there.

There was also the fact that Mischa had been living on her own since moving out of the house at fifteen so she was definitely self-reliant…not too mention her apartments were on the bus lines into Monroe so Jayden could get to and from work.

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

She knew Mischa would be cool with letting her hole up at her apartment for a few days…so long as Jayden made sure to pay her back for food, gas, etcetera later. Mischa may have been cool, but she wasn't stupid enough to let people leech off her.

* * *

After the phone rang three times, Mischa apparently accepted the collect call charges as there was a almost inaudible click followed shortly after by, "_Y'llo?_" 

"Mischa? It's Jayden" she said tentatively, swallowing hard and hoping that Mischa hadn't grown her Mom gene yet as she continued, "…listen. I don't wanna go into all th' inky details, but can I hole up at your place for a couple days?"

"_Sure thing, J.D._" Mischa replied instantly, causing the teen on the other end of the line let a rush of air whoosh from her lungs, "_It'll be fun. We can catch up and go clubbing and junk._"

"Thank you _**so**_ much." Jayden breathed, slumping to the ground out of sure relief, "**Seriously**. I don't know what it **_is_** about those exchange students, but they know **exactly** how to set me off. I've **_never_** been so wound up before."

"_That bad?_" Mischa asked, sounding a little surprised, "_You've always been the Queen of Laid-Back."_ She chuckled, _"They really know how t' push your buttons huh?_"

"Let's put it this way - if I stay in that house for one second longer, I'll go on an exchange student killing spree." Jayden replied flatly.

"_I getcha, I getcha._" Mischa snickered at her end of the line, "_So where ya at?_"

"Y'know the gas station at the corner of 179th?" she asked, running her fingers back against her scalp, choosing to ignore how damp her hair was, "I'm right out front."

"_Kay. Don't move. I'll be there in about fifteen, alright?_" Mischa asked, the sounds of car keys jingling and a purse being shuffled meeting Jayden's ears.

"Kay." she replied.

"_Have y' told Charlie yet?_" Mischa asked, the sound of a door opening in the background not reaching Jayden's ear drums as her heart leapt into her throat.

"No." she said sullenly, "You know how he is. He'll just say, the exchange student thing was my idea and to grit my teeth and bear it."

"_You have a point._" Mischa chuckled as she thumped down the stairs, "_Well, howabout this, After I getcha, you call'm while were on the road, kay? Then he won't be able to say no._"

"I swear Mischa…sometimes I think you're too good for my brother." Jayden mumbled, shaking her head, "Seeya in a few."

"_Later, Shortie._" Mischa said smilingly, hanging up quickly before Jayden could give her usual retort of that she wasn't short, just vertically challenged.

* * *

_**Jack-O is weird, and he cannot lie  
You other people can't deny  
And when the man walks in with his nose misplaced  
With it fallin' off his face, you say  
Damn!  
All those nips and tucks  
Make the people say "What the fuck!?"**_

Charlie felt around his bedside table for his cell, in order to silence his sister's ring tone, one she had personally insisted upon. It was only fair after all. Jayden let him pick his.

Finally he stretched out too far and fell to the floor with a grunt. His brain, still muzzy with sleep, was wondered if Jayden was actually weird enough to try calling him while still in the house.

That just didn't make a lick of sense no matter how you looked at it. Apparently, he was tired enough to forget that that ringtone WASN'T his sister's at all, but one she had helped his girlfriend select; it had been a toss up between either Jack-O is WACK! or BEER! by Psychostick.

And apparently, the volume on his RAZR was loud enough to rouse Kyle from his room as the half asleep teen staggered into his room with sleep clogged eyes in order to help his brother find the cell so he could return to bed.

The electronic device in question was finally located buried under Charlie's jacket.

"H-h'llo?" he mumbled sleepily, choking back a yawn as he spoke as Kyle decided that the trek back to his room, all of five feet away was far to great, collapsing on the edge of Charlie's bed.

"_Hey Sugar Lips._" A snickering familiar female voice replied on the other end of the line, forcing Charlie into a state of pseudo-consciousness, "_Is now a bad time?_"

"Hey babe." He babbled drowsily, trying compel his sleep addled brain into coherent thought, "Naw, naw…anytime's a good time Mischa…so long as it's you an' not m' boss."

"_Hahaha!_" Mischa laughed loudly on the other end of the line, "_Ahhh, you're so cute when your tired, love. Anyway, I'm gonna get right to the point. I've got J.D. with me, and I think I'm gonna keep'er for a day or four._"

"Oh…okay. Wait-**_what?_**" Charlie said quickly as his girlfriend's words finally made their way from his eardrums to his cerebellum and into his limbic system, jolting him completely awake.

"_Yeah, apparently she's gonna make exchange student stir fry if she stay in the house any longer._" Mischa said casually, used to Charlie's overprotective freakouts by now, "_So she's gonna chill with me for awhile._"

"And how **long** is awhile?" Charlie asked, making a mental note to find out which student in particular had made his sister breakdown.

"_Until she calms down._" Mischa said brightly, "_Whenever that is. You know you're welcome to come over whenever, but you can't force her back until she's ready, kay? There's really no need to worry. We'll have lots of fun, I promise._"

"…alright." Charlie sighed, "I'll see you soon, babe."

"_Later._" Mischa said, hanging up as Charlie shook Kyle awake.

* * *

"Whuh-whazzup?" Kyle muttered blearily, staring up at his older brother bleakly. 

"Time to go goober hunting." Charlie said, jerking his thumb towards the doorway, "One a those exchange assholes made J.D. cry…**_again_**."

"…y' don't say." Kyle said darkly, now fully awake as he rose to his feet. Not another word was exchanged between the two as they made their way downstairs, but their thoughts and feelings at that moment were mutual: _"Someone was going to pay with blood."_

The two entered the combination kitchen/living room, where the exchange students…and a few of their friends apparently, were milling about aimlessly.

"**Alright!**" Kyle announced loudly, announcing his arrival by punching the table, startling Rufus out of La-La Land, "Who's th' dead man who made her cry?"

The quote-un-quote "exchange students" had a look of '_damn…word sure spreads fast round hurr._' briefly flit across their mugs as Charlie looked them over one by one.

He had never looked more intimidating, the scar slashing it's way across the bridge of his nose far more prominent and making the twenty-two year old appear far more dangerous.

"I warned ya." Charlie said in a singsong voice, eyeing Reno up and down, sizing him up, giving thte Turk no delusions that he was thinking about anything other than how much force it would take to level him if necessary, "I warned ya what would happen if you made her cry again."

"I may have **_some_** issues about hitting girls…" Kyle said evenly, letting his gaze travel from Tifa, to Elena to Yuffie, "…but I'm sure I can get over them **real** fast."

"…_**what**_…do **you** think…**_you're_** doing?"

Charlie and Kyle visibly paled and turned to find their mother, tapping her foot and waiting patiently for an explanation.

"**M-Mom**…**snot our _fault!_**" Kyle stammered, ashamed of how intimidated he was by his mommy, "Th-they made J.D. **cry!**"

"_**Yeah!**_" Charlie chimed in, nodding vigorously in agreement with his younger sibling, "W-we just aren't sure of which one it **is** yet!"

"Upstairs." Mikayla ground out, jabbing towards the ceiling with her hand.

"**_But-!_**" The boys protested.

"Are you talking **back** to me? **_NOW!_**" Mikayla snarled, thrusting her arm at the stairway violently, "Or so help me **god** I'll siphon **_all_** the gas from your cars and **donate your cells to _charity!_**"

Charlie and Kyle rocketed up the stairs without another word.

* * *

Kadaj sprawled against the limb of a very tall, extremely old tree, resting his upper body against its trunk. He wasn't exactly sure how he had come to be in this strange place again, but it gave him time to collect himself at least. His sibings were otherwise distacted - how so you ask? Well... 

Loz, after several tried and failed attempts, had given trying to gain Kadaj or Yazoo's attention and had taken to sulking in higher branches, occasionally firing off a round into the distance, face brightening slightly if he heard an explosion.

Yazoo, not caring in particular what world he happened to be in at the moment, had stretched out and fallen asleep over an hour ago. Putting up with Kadaj could be trying at times. Really, that boy needed to learn to take a pill.

With both of his siblings...otherwise preoccupied, this left Kadaj alone with his thoughts...all of which were rather muddled at the moment. Yes they were floating about his mind in a rather interesting soup at the moment.

_"Alright...let's stop and think about this logically for a moment, shall we?"_ Kadaj thought to himself, leaning back slightly to stretch out the muscles of his back, _"In order...I was on my way to Edge...crossed paths with my Brother...and for some reason, at the peak of our battle...I find myself flat on my back, staring at the ceiling of someone's room."_

No matter how many times he turned it over in his mind, it just didn't make sense. Something was definitely afoot.

Kadaj had to wonder whether or not the one known as Rufus Shinra was behind it all. He definitely had the financial resources necessary to create a machine that might create an alternate reality...or perhaps...just an illusion within his own mind.

That thought infuriated him. The idea that Cloud, the traitor, and the ones he allied himself, could possibly be sitting around his cateleptic body somewhere while he lie there, hallucinating, instead of facing him in combat.

But...if the world in which he currently sat really was an illusion fabricated inside his own mind...it was a very good fabrication, even down the false semblences of pain.

Yes, the whole situation was vexing.

* * *

"**This** is a problem." Tseng said irritably, pacing back and forth across the kitchen floor, "We've **_no_** idea where she's gone or **who** she's been talking to." 

"...is that _**really**_ all you can think about?" Tifa asked exasperatedly, annoyed that once again, she was going to have to be the rational adult in this situation, "A girl has a total nervous breakdown right in front of you and all you can think about is 'we don't know who she's been talking to'?"

"Tifa does have a point I guess." Yuffie shrugged, stretching her arms over her head, "I mean, we've been watching her the entire time and when we were back in Edge, you had her under close surveilence. If she was gonna talk to anyone, she woulda done it by now, doncha think?"

"The fact still remains that we've no idea where she is." Rufus said simply, drawing a glower from Tifa, "That's step one. To find out where she's run off to. Elena? Go upstair and see if you can locate the Schwartz girl's cell phone. We can ask the people one her contacts list whether or not they've seen her recently."

"But don't you think we should wait?" Marlene piped up, gesturing at the full moon hanging in the sky, "It's pretty late. A lot of people will probably get mad that you're calling so late at night."

"She does have a point." Vincent murmured coolly from the family room.

"Very well then." Rude said agreeably, "We'll wait until tomorrow morning, then we'll track her down."

* * *

(A/N: The Turks and AVALANCHE locate Mischa, and somehow manipulate Charlie into driving them to Seattle to see her (koff-Jayden-koff), Loz plays follw the leader and goes after them (Yazoo and Kadaj begrudgingly go after him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself) Jayden and Mischa get ready to go clubbin' in Seattle. R&R!) 


	14. Hot Pockets!

(A/N: I DOOD IT DUDES! I broke the one hundred review barrier! WOOTNESS! (wootness is a trademark word belonging solely to Hisa-me Kurai) It's thanks to all of you guys! I love, love, love, love, LOVE YOU! WEEEEEEEEEEEE! Thank you bunches for helping me make it to one hundred reviews and be sure to read the AUTHORESS ALERT at the end of this chappie. And now...READ ON DAMMIT!)

* * *

"I see...is that right?...thank you very much." 

Elena quickly hung up the cordless phone and hurried over to Tseng, ready to offload the information she had just acquired regarding Jayden's whereabouts.

"I've just finished speaking the seventh contact." she said, turning Tseng to face her, "Apparently, one of the lesser known facts about the Schwartz girl is that she'll hide out at the residence of her elder brother's girlfriend when under extreme stress levels."

"Which brother?" Cloud demanded to know from across the kitchen.

"The eldest." Elena replied evenly, not evenly looking up from her crush...even though at the moment she was drooling on his shoes, "The one called Charlie."

Rufus smirked a little at Elena, shaking his head a little.

"Well, **_that's_** just peachy, seeing as he just **so** in love with us right now." Reno snorted, flopping back on the couch, "So...how're we gonna go about **_this?_**"

"...we **could** get his Mama into it." Barrett snickered, lips curving into a smirk at the memory of the twenty something quaking at the shorter woman, "Hehehehehe...that foo' nearly **_pissed'em_** self!"

"True, but what would our excuse be for wanting to see his girlfriend?" Cait Sith asked swinging from the chandelier in the family room lazily by his tail.

"Yeah, how would we even know he **has** a girlfriend?" Tifa inquired, growing a bit tired of constantly interrogating the person who had taken them in, "It's not as though he's spoken of her before now."

"We'll just say we want to know where Jayden went so we can apologize." Rude said calmly from his seat in the office chair located in front of the newly restored computer.

Yuffie loosed a short laugh that made Cloud, Denzel and Marlene stare at her.

"Sorry, but after the way **_you've_** been treating her, the idea of you guys apologizing…" Yuffie trailed of as she clamped both hands over her mouth to repress another laugh.

* * *

The men exchanged apprehensive looks: the klepto had a point. 

Tifa, Yuffie, Marlene…hell, even **Elena** had her moments, had all made some attempt to make a connection with their somewhat unwilling caretaker…even if it had only been to gain her trust.

Vincent while making no attempt to establish any ties with Jayden, hadn't gone on a paranoia induced accusation spree. He had been the one exception to the rule when it came to the male populous, as he had barely spoken two words to the girl.

Plus, their current track record with her brother's was **less** than outstanding, too. Even **_if_** they managed to get Mikayla Schwartz on their side, they would have to deal with those two looming over them like a pair of proverbial vultures.

Really though, they had it upon themselves…not that they would ever admit to that…**ever**.

Cid was the first to speak up on the subject.

"Whether we actually apologize'r not doesn't matter." He snorted as Tifa and Marlene stared at him shrewdly, "The real issue is whether or not that Schwartz broad bites."

RedXIII wondered how things had come to this. The teen that his comrades had been calling "the Schwartz girl" hadn't given off a threatening smell…at least not one his nose could detect. He really wasn't sure what everyone was so worried about. Maybe they weren't eating enough or something.

RedXIII didn't have long to ponder on it though, because Charlie Schwartz ambled into the kitchen in search of breakfast. He tossed a cold look at the Turk and AVALANCHE resistance group, but said nothing, walking through them to make his way to the counters.

Rufus, being closest, made the first move, cornering the eldest Schwartz child in the crook of the linoleum counter as he opened the cabinet and reached for a glass.

"Charlie? About yesterdays…unpleasantness…well, we'd like to apologize." He said, carefully weaving his lie, "However, going about apologizing is proving difficult as we've no idea where your sister's gone."

Charlie regarded the man coolly out of the corner of his eye, before turning his back on him and grabbing a glass out of the cabinet.

"You wanna apologize s'bad – find'er yourself." He said dryly, shoving past the President of Shinra Corporation with a bit more force than necessary, "I'm not gonna help ya torture my sis. That's my job."

"**_MRS. SCHWARTZ! CHARLIE WONT HELP US FIND JAYDEN!_**" Reno and Cid yelled loudly from their spots on the couch and table.

Charlie's face went white and he shot towards Reno and Cid screeching, "**NO! Not my Mommy!**"

"**Charles Henry _Schwartz!_**" Mikayla's voice thundered down the stairs.

* * *

Loz jerked awake, nearly toppling off the tree limb he was sprawled across. The sound a particularly loud car engine had torn him from his slumber and that in his mind was enough of an offense to warrant a very violent death at the hands of his Double Hound. 

He switched himself around, taking careful aim at the vehicle in question…before doing a double take after spotting who one of the passengers happened to be.

"**It's _Brother!_**" Loz cried excitedly, ripping both Yazoo _**AND**_ Kadaj from _Happy-Sleepy-Nappy-Time-Land_ and into _Cranky-Irritable-Someone's-Gonna-Die-Land_ as he leapt from his branch onto the roof a nearby daycare to follow after Cloud.

Yazoo, not a morning person - at all - brought Velvet Nightmare on level with Loz's head in order to sufficiently punish his brother for waking him prematurely.

Kadaj, while not much of a morning person either, moved down to Yazoo's branch and stopped his elder brother from shooting - as annoyingly childish as Loz **was**, they _**still**_ needed his muscles.

Loz however, didn't notice the actions of his siblings as he hurried after the 1967 Volkswagen Bus. He knew that he couldn't lose track of that vehicle – no matter what.

Loz knew that there was a strong possibility that one of the people on board that vehicle could know the location of Mother and so losing sight of the automobile in question was…well…let's just say that if he wanted to keep all of his extremities, he would keep that car well within sight.

The vehicle in question pulled to a stoplight as Loz hopped a top a light pole, staring down into the car window at the back of the ex-SOLDIER's head. His brother appeared to be deep in conversation with someone else.

* * *

"Can you hear what they're saying?" 

Loz spazzed out in a way that would have put Jayden to shame, nearly braining himself on the sidewalk at Yazoo sudden appearance at his side.

Kadaj followed close behind, tossing a strange look at Loz at he scrabbled back onto the light pole.

"N-no." Loz said, trying to play it off as though his head hadn't almost become just another grease stain on the sidewalk, watching with notable degree of distress as the traffic signal changed to green and the automobile pulled away.

"It doesn't matter." Kadaj said dismissively, leaping from his position a top a telephone pole to follow after the vehicle, "Come. We mustn't lose them."

Yazoo sighed down at his younger sibling as he moved to follow after Kadaj, darting off the top of the cedar tree he had been perching on previously.

"Let's get a move on Loz." He drawled over his shoulder, to his sibling who was just nipping at his heels, "We wouldn't want you to get left behind, now would we?"

"Sh-shut up!" Loz snuffled, refusing to let Yazoo's teasing get to him…despite the fact that his chest was already tightening and tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.

Yazoo smirked and with a few quick movements had caught up with Kadaj.

It wasn't _**fair!**_ **Loz** was the one who had caught on to Cloud's location, not _**them!**_ How come **they** were acting superior when **_he_** was the one who-?

Angry tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, Loz shot forward and past his siblings.

There was no **way** he was going to let _**them**_ take credit for **this** one! _**No way!**_ **Especially** after they revived **_Mother!_** They would probably try to snatch up all the recognition for all **his** hard work!

With little to no effort, Loz had caught up to the Volkswagen Bus, leaping from telephone pole to telephone pole.

Yazoo and Kadaj, much closer than Loz expected, were, needless to say, very surprised from this sudden outpouring of enthusiasm on his part.

_"Wonder what inspired the change?"_ they wondered, loping easily along the telephone wires.

_"Leg cramps perhaps?"_ Kadaj wondered as he stared at the back of Loz's head curiously, _"Those things can be a real bitch to get rid of."_

_"Maybe the boy has to go the bathroom."_ Yazoo mused as he easily kept pace with his younger brother, _"That would make even the strongest man speed up at least a little."_

* * *

"Hey J.D.?" Mischa asked grinningly at the teen who had just spent the night on her couch, "Ya wanna go out tonight?" 

"Where?" Jayden yawned, stretching from her fingertips to her toes before switching herself around to face the coffee table, feeling much more relaxed and rested than she had in a long time.

"The Downunder." Mischa said, crossing the room to join the teen on the sofa and press and energy drink into her hand, "Victor Deminigo's gonna be workin' th' turntables tonight and Frankie's working the door so were gettin' in for sure."

"Alright. Sounds good." Jayden said evenly, opening the can and downing half the energy drink in one gulp, "What time should we leave?"

"Around five-ish." Mischa replied vaguely flipping on the television and stretching out her legs until the rested on the coffee table, "That way we can miss the lines."

"M'kay." Jayden replied, downing the rest of the energy drink and pulling a move Charlie had taught her and crushing the can against her forehead. With a degree of satisfaction, she set it down on the table.

She leaned back against the couch and took in her brother's girlfriend out of the corner of her eye with a slight degree of wistfulness.

While in the company of Tifa or Yuffie, it was true she had felt a bit more inadequate than usual, but she reminded herself that **_their_** curves were computer generated by horndog game programmers so **their** figures were unobtainable by human standards.

Mischa on the other hand, was tall, almost taller than Mikayla; she was curvy, but wasn't too skinny or fat.

She had large green eyes framed by long lashes and shoulder blade length red hair…natural by the way.

Mischa was prett-oh alright, **_BEAUTIFUL_**. The type of person who if Jayden had passed her on the street, would automatically assume she was an evil, Ultra Prep beeyatch.

Which made it hard for her to believe when she met her the first time just how nice she actually was.

The fact that she was beautiful and nice didn't seem fair. It made Jayden feel that much plainer just standing or **sitting** next to her…but she would once again remind herself that it wasn't **_Mischa's_** fault that she was cursed with the face and figure of a twelve year old (it was her genetics; dad's side)

* * *

With a grunt, Jayden rose from the sofa, effectively causing Mischa to tear her gaze from the T.V. to see what the younger girl was up to. 

"Can I use your shower?" Jayden asked, stretching her arms over her head, "It's been about two days since I've had one and I can practically feel the slime oozing down my back."

"**_Hehehehehe!_ EEEEWW!**" Mischa laughed, grabbing the crumpled can off the table top and lobbing it at Jayden who danced out of the way, "Well, if you're **_truly_** as disgusting as you say, how can I say no? You remember where the bathroom is?"

"Yeah." Jayden smiled, twirling in a circle before making her way down the hall, kicking the can as she went.

Mischa then turned her attention back to the T.V. and Jim Gaffigan, who was just going into his Hot Pockets bit.

Nine minutes later when a knock came at the door, Mischa was still laughing hysterically. She stumbled to the door, wanting to stop, but whenever she came close, the words, '_DIAREHA POCKET!'_ rang out in her head and she started up all over again.

So when she finally opened the door to find her boyfriend and a horde of people she didn't know, she want to respond with a hug, a kiss maybe, a friendly _'hey sugar lips'_.

What came out was:

"_**Hoooooooooooot Pockeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeets! **PFFFFFFFFFT_"

Mischa then grabbed ahold of Charlie's shirt front, took a deep breath and began howling in laughter. Fortunately for her, Charlie had seen "Jim Gaffigan – Beyond The Pale" so he wasn't thrown off in the least.

"J.D. in there?" he asked with a grin as Mischa, still trying to get air into her lungs, nodded. Then, adding fuel to the fire, he muttered under his breath, "_Caliente Pocket._"

Mischa who had just manage to calm down, started howling with laughter again as the CG characters made real…oh I'm sorry, the "exchange students", filed past the two and into the apartment.

The television was on, a pale, balding comedian on the screen, but Jayden was no where in sight.

Reno perked up his ears and signaled to Rude. Rude motioned to Tseng and Elena who followed the other two quickly down the hall to a closed door.

Tseng tried the knob and found it was locked. Reno smirked and brushed him casually aside and applied **_waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay_** more force than necessary, breaking the lock.

The Turks rushed into the bathroom just as Jayden was about to take off her top (it took her awhile to find the linen closet since Mischa hadn't replaced the towels last time)

"Oh dear **god**." Jayden groaned, catching sight of them in the mirror and allowing her hands to fall from the hem of her top and raise themselves to her face, "Get out. Just get out."

The Turks backed out into the hallway…shut the door slowly…made their way down the hall…where they were greeted by Mischa.

Red in the face but otherwise fine, she said, "I almost forgot to warn you all! Jayden's the shower, so the bathroom's off limits for awhile!"

* * *

(A/N: Jayden's giving The Turks and the AVALANCHE resistence group the silent treatment, ignoring their threats and going clubbing anyway. They, of course, follow in the shadows. As do the Remnants. Are they in for a confrontation at the Downunder? R&R!)

* * *

**_AUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERT AUTHORESSALERT_**

Thank you all for responding to my last poll. Your opinions really do matter and I really do read them all. This time around has to do with pairings.

As, per your sway of voting, you don't seem to mind if I pair Jayden up with someone, who should it be? PM me or send it in your reviews! I've already got one pairing already set in my mind and believe me - it'll be sweet. (sweet as in awwww, not AW SWEET, DUDE!

**_AUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERTAUTHORESSALERT_**


	15. Child's Play? Or Child's Game?

(A/N: Hey all! Thank you again for your continued patronage! Just a quick note, Denzel and Marlene wont be appearing for awhile as they've stayed behind with RedXIII and Cait Sith; RedXIII has been explained away as a prototype robot Vincent was working on while Cait Sith is adjusting to life as a stuffed toy. I hope that clears up everything. And so…READ ON!)

* * *

Jayden sat on the floor of the tub, holding her knees and letting the scalding hot water jet over the back of her head, shoulders and back. 

She should have known better than to relax her guard…but she honestly thought that she would be safe at Mischa's…at least for a little while.

Jayden sighed. She had already decided on her plan of action regarding the Final Fantasy 7 cast. It was quite simple really, painfully simple – she was going to ignore them.

Or, to be more specific, give them the silent treatment. Jayden hadn't given anyone the silent treatment since the 3rd grade…but that didn't mean she had forgotten how to do it per se.

It just meant that she was a little rusty. There were going to probably be slip ups, obviously, but for the most part, the only conversations Jayden was going to engage in were going to be with Charlie and Mischa.

At this point, Jayden doubted she would even accept an apology - if they gave one - which wasn't likely to **_ever_** happen.

No, at this point she would just be happy if she managed to piss them off. Childish, yes, and potentially dangerous given the people she was dealing with…but seeing as they had gone so far as to coerce her brother just to locate her…she didn't really give a damn anymore.

With another sigh, Jayden pushed herself to her feet; a little bit dizzy from the extreme temperatures she was exposing herself to and shut the water off.

_"Alright."_ She thought to herself, resting her forehead against the tile wall, _"As soon as I leave this bathroom…not a word to any of them."_

Jayden, a bit more sure of herself now, made her way out of the shower and toweled herself off.

She grabbed her sports bra and boyshort underwear (that read _HAVE A NICE DAY!_ on the butt) off the floor and quickly slipped them on.

Jayden then grabbed her black skinny fit jeans and tugged them on, having to really fight with them because of her pseudo-damp skin, before snatching her customized black sweater off the floor that read, _"You Know What Your Problem Is? YOU'RE STUPID!"_

She brought back a hand through her long hair and stared at her reflection with renewed determination.

_"Remember, dumbass, not a word to any of them."_ Jayden told herself, _"By acknowledging their existence, you give them power. If you ignore them, they might go away."_

With a nod to herself, she reached forward and opened the door, almost running smack into Barrett.

* * *

"S'bout **time**, _**bitch!**_ I've been holdin' it in for-**hey!**" he hollered after Jayden, who had walked straight past him as though he wasn't there, "Get _**back**_ here! I'm **talkin'** to you!" 

Jayden made her way down the hall, took a deep, healing breath and drew a smile on her face as she entered the living room where Charlie and Mikayla were discussing tonight's plans.

The Turks were there too, of course, as was Rufus Shinra, Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, and the majority of the AVALANCHE group, but as per the plan, Jayden didn't acknowledge them.

"_**There**_ you are." Reno drawled, as Jayden strolled past him without some much as batting an eyelash, "We were beginning to think you'd died in there."

"So we're still leaving at five right?" Jayden asked, blindsiding Reno's remark entirely as she scooched in between Cid and Charlie.

"That's right." Mischa said cheerfully, not oblivious to the younger girl totally brushing off the red head, "Do ya wanna borrow one of my tops? I have one that'll look really cute on you."

"…you sure it'd even **fit?**" Cid asked casually, after eyeing Jayden's nearly-non-existent boobs and letting his gaze travel to Mischa's 38-C's.

Charlie glowered at the older man menacingly.

"Don't you _**let**_ me catch you ogling my girl's goodies again, got it?" he said, moving his arm around Mischa's shoulders protectively.

"Cid right?" Mischa asked as Jayden began to channel surf, "To answer your question, yes. I'm sure it'll fit. A friend of mine bought it for me and didn't know my measurements."

"_Just what are you trying to _pull_ Schwartz?_" Tseng hissed in her ears as she flipped around from FOX to Comedy Central to BRAVO.

"Ooo, Top Chef." Jayden said happily, eyes brightening as she scooched up in her seat, leaving Tseng more than a bit miffed as his question was ignored.

Cloud, Tifa and Yuffie had picked up on Jayden's detached behavior and were beginning to grow suspicious…well…at least **Cloud** was growing suspicious - what was she plotting?

Yuffie, Tifa and Elena though, found it difficult to believe that Jayden was scheming anything with that glazed look in her eyes as she stared at the food on the T.V. screen.

Vincent and Rufus, ever the tactical thinkers, had already figured out what Jayden was doing. And even thought both men thought it to be an exceedingly childish plan…they had to admit, it was working extremely well.

Rude had simply chosen to disconnect himself from the whole situation and had taken a seat on the floor to watch T.V. rather than allow Jayden to play mind games with him.

* * *

Later that evening, despite many protests from the AVALANCHE group as well as the Turks - which were all ignored - Jayden was redressed in a black, red and white striped tube top and a pair of Mischa's heels (thanks god they were both size 6 ½) 

She was sprawled out across the backseat, not wearing a seatbelt, while Mischa, outshining her again in a mini skirt/halter top combo, sat beside her big brother, who Jayden had to admit, looked absolutely smoking in denim jeans and an unbuttoned top.

While those two chattered non-stop about what songs they were gonna request, who was gonna drive that night or if they should just call a cab and pick up the car in the morning, etcetera, Jayden allowed her eyes to slide shut in a half-doze, unable to believe that she had managed to give the CG characters the slip.

Or so she thought.

Unbeknownst to her, the Final Fantasy cast had been following the '67 Volkswagen Bus - at a safe distance of course – the entire time.

So you could imagine Jayden's surprise when the door of Charlie's car slid open and a horde of computer-generated bishounen and bishoujo were waiting outside the Downunder.

"Well, well, well…fancy meeting you here." Reno smirked, thinking he was going to get to enjoy a look of surprise, and perhaps maybe a jaw drop if he was lucky.

But no. Jayden stuck to her plan, hopped out of the car and walked straight past him, Mischa and Charlie hot on her heels as she approached the bouncer.

"Hey Frankie!" she called, ignoring the looks of annoyance she received from Tseng, Reno, Cid, Barrett and Cloud rising up her tiptoes to give the giant of a man a hug, "How ya doin' homeboy?"

"I'm doin' good, Shortie." The man smiled, trying his best not to crush Jayden's ribs before greeting Charlie and Mischa, "Howya doin' bra?"

"Feelin' fine, feelin' fine." Charlie smirked, hi-fiving his college buddy before being tugged into a quick, back smacking hug.

Frankie surveyed the huge, disjointed group of CG characters made real surrounding Charlie and cocked an eyebrow.

"Friends of yours?" he asked with a snort.

"…not by choice." Charlie said blandly, making Mischa snicker at his tone, "Mom pushed'em on me. But oh well. That isn't gonna stop me from having fun."

"I hear that." Mischa whooped as Frankie unhinged the velvet rope to let them in, "I'm gonna get my dance on! Hurry it up J.D.!"

"I'm coming." Jayden drawled, twisting herself out of Cloud's reach to enter the club. While she was hoping Frankie would snap the blockade shut behind her, but no.

Apparently, God was a sadist as every last one of the Turks and AVALANCHE resistance were allowed inside.

"_Remember the plan, remember the plan."_ Jayden chanted to herself as she followed Mischa and Charlie on to the dance floor, _"I am calm. I am tranquil. I am…pissed!"

* * *

_

"Well, now that we're here, what do you propose we do ladies and gentlemen?" Rufus asked mildly, taking a seat at a nearby booth and surveying the sea of people undulating about the dance floor.

"It will be difficult keeping track of her with all of these extra bodies." Rude mused, sliding his sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose, a little on edge due to the lack of airspace.

"I propose we mingle with the crowds." Reno suggested, eyes trained on the back of a short, lanky girl in a tube top and a pair of black Emo jeans (by Emo I mean they were skin tight) who was chatting with the DJ, "You know, try to blend in."

Tifa had already dragged Cloud out on to the dance floor, apparently on the same page as Reno for the time being. She may not be willing to say that she **liked** Cloud, but she was _**more**_ than willing to **dance** with him.

Poor Cloud looked very unsure of what he was supposed to be doing with his body, unlike Tifa, who knew exactly what she was doing; he was trained in formal dancing, not bump and grind, crunk, or break dancing.

Yuffie had already been asked to dance by a rather attractive guy…with even **_more_** eye-catching platinum chain swinging from his neck. Naturally, the Klepto-Kunoichi of Wutai said yes.

Vincent had slunk off to one of the darker corners of the club, surprised to find that he wasn't the only one with this idea, as he ran into a throng of Emo/Goth's who had been dragged along against their will by friends.

Not too long after, a pair of older women sank their claws into Cid and Barrett, offering to buy them drinks- which was really the fastest way to either man's heart – leaving the Turks and Rufus by their lonesome at the table.

* * *

"I guess that settles that." Elena said mildly, eyeing Tseng out of the corners of her eyes, making her crush very thankful when a brunette approached the table with two of her friends to ask him, Rude and Rufus to dance. 

Tseng was just looking for a way out of a potentially awkward situation involving accidentally stepping on his co-worker's feelings, temporarily forgetting his reason for being at the Downunder in favor of escaping.

Rufus merely sent Rude a look that said, _'keep on track'_, before the two parted ways, going off with the brunette's friends.

Elena pouted and huffily turned to Reno…or where he had been standing five seconds prior. Elena noted with a thrill of frustration that Reno had gone to chase the skirt…jeans – whatever - of the girl chatting with the DJ; leaving her to be the wallflower.

"I **swear**…how could Mr. President, of _**all**_ people, **comport** himself with **_such_** **indig-!**" Elena started to rant…until a man approached the both and asked her if she would like to dance.

To which she replied, "You bet your sweet ass I would!"

My. How quickly she changes her tune.

Meanwhile, Reno had finally fought his way through the throngs of people to get to the turntables where the girl stood, back to him.

"Found ya." He said, smirking down at the top of Jayden's head.

Instead of giving a yelp, twitching, jumping in shock or even turning around to glare at him, Jayden merely finished up her conversation with the D.J. and moseyed off, leaving a fairly miffed Reno at the turntables as he lost sight of her in the crowds of dancing couples.

* * *

"It's _**so**_ **crowded** in here, Brother! How will we ever find them?" Loz asked worriedly as couples making their way to the dance floor and bar repeatedly bumped into him, all sense of decency forgotten. 

"It's your **_own_** fault for losing sight of them in the **first** place." Kadaj snapped irritably as a Downunder patron had the courtesy to step on his foot rather than taking the time to walk around it.

"Actually, Kadaj, you took up the lead back in that last city. Don't you really think the responsibility falls on you this time?" Yazoo asked with a hint of amusement in his voice as Kadaj glared at him.

Loz obviously felt a thrill of joy at any show of support in his favor as a look of hope flashed across his face.

"But then again, Loz was the one who allowed you to take the lead so I suppose he's just as much at fault as anyone else." Yazoo smoothly followed, enjoying the automatic switch from happy to sad on Loz's face (he's such a manipulative sadist)

Kadaj knew exactly what his elder brother was doing and shook his head for allowing himself to be drawn into his trap even for a second.

A light tap came at the front of his shoulder as a short girl muttered an "Excuse me" and made her move to pass without even looking at him.

But it wasn't the girl who stood out to Kadaj…it was the man following her. It was one of Shinra's boys. One of the Turks.

_"And if he's here…"_ Kadaj mused, eyes darting about the dance floor, _"Ahhh…just as I thought."_

Sure enough, one Turk became four, all tailing after that one girl, whom seemed utterly oblivious to their presence…either that or she was just simply refusing to acknowledge it.

Yazoo and Loz also noticed strange sight and had to wondered what was so special about one girl for Rufus Shinra to take interest.

Perhaps she knew the location of Mother and was withholding it from the President of ShinRa Corperation. That would be delicious.

All three Remnants exchanged a look and went to intercept her before the Turks.

* * *

Jayden reached a booth across the dance floor and took a seat. The Silent Treatment was proving far more difficult than expected. The urge to hurl scathing remarks at them was overwhelming. 

And she just couldn't seem to avoid them. She could already see them advancing on her table much to her annoyance. Jayden let her head hit the hardtop with a clunk.

A shadow loomed over her table, which she choose to ignore…until a hand under her chin forced her to look up.

It wasn't whom she expect at all. Instead of the Turks or one of the AVALANCHE resistance, it was Kadaj, smirking down at her in manner best reserved for a serial killer on the level of Ted Bundy.

"Excuse me…you seem to me to be the informative type." Kadaj said, serial killer smirk broadening into a bonechilling grin that would have better suited Freddy Krueger, "So, care to shed any insight you might have on Mother?"

Fear shot through Jayden faster than a shot of Quervo. She knew the position she was in and how strong he was. He could pop off her head like a dandelion.

Even if Jayden wanted to tell them anything – which she didn't – she couldn't because her vocal chords had frozen up from panic.

Besides, either way she was fucked. If Jayden told them anything, the Turks and AVALANCHE resistance would kill her. If she didn't tell them anything, she knew Kadaj would step aside and let that sadist Yazoo kill her…slowly.

And since Kadaj had made sure to have his behemoth brother Loz block them off from the view of the Dance Club security, all hopes of recieving help in that respect were negated...besides, these guys were easily stronger than fifty well built bouncers.

Talk about your no win situations.

* * *

(A/N: A confrontation between the two opposing factions, but wait a minute! A dilema arises when Jayden makes it clear she honestly doesn't care who she goes with. After all, both don't really care about her physical or psychological well being, their both potentially dangerous...choices, choices. R&R!) 


	16. Heads, Tails, Or Thumbs?

(A/N: Hi all! Sorry this one tooks so long. I've been away on a trip over the mountains...and then I got sick so I hurt all over. Blech. Any hoo, I hope this next chapter's up to par. READ ON!)

* * *

"Where did she **go?**" Elena demanded to know, eyes darting around the perimeter of the club for any sign of the undersized, underweight teen meandering about. 

"How did she manage to pull a move like **_that?_**" Tseng spat, cursing himself for losing sight of the Schwartz girl for even a second, "I **knew** we couldn't trust her."

Rude pushed through the crowds instead of wasting time coming up with a snappy retort, Reno hot on his heels, swearing up and down the scale.

They reached the point where Jayden had disappeared from their line of sight…and were greeted with the leather coated back of someone most unwelcome.

"The Remnants." Rude muttered, hand diving into his pocket to retrieve his cell in order to rally the AVALANCHE resistance and Rufus Shinra to their location.

"_Fuck!_" Reno hissed under his breath, reaching instinctively for the shock rod concealed inside his jacket, "What are **_they_** doing here?"

Tseng grabbed Reno's wrist.

"Don't act prematurely." He sad coolly, eyeing the occupants of the table just behind the hulking spine of the Remnant not ten feet away, "Let's see what we can learn first."

Elena sidled up to Tseng in an attempt to see the table the other two remnants had congregated as the AVALANCHE group assembled around them.

"Is it really them?" Yuffie asked excitedly, her newly acquired platinum chain swinging jauntilly around her throat as she jogged up to the rapidly growing group, "No lie?"

"I can see them from here." Tifa said tersely, narrowing her eyes at Yazoo's profile as the fragment of human consciousness accepted Kadaj's Souba, "Just how exactly did they know to come here?"

"They must've followed us, obviously." Cid snorted, the heavy stench of Yeager on his breath, swaying slightly on his feet and almost dragging Vincent to the floor, the quiet man being the only thing keeping the blond upright.

"…'ey…isshun thah Jayd'n?" Barrett asked in a very slurred voice, looking a might unsteady on his feet as he grabbed the back of a nearby chair for balance with one hand jabbed his finger at the table with the other.

Cloud looked in the direction the less than sober Barrett indicated and found that despite the GunArm's lack of sobriety, he was absolutely right. Jayden sat at the table as well, sandwiched between Kadaj and Yazoo.

Reno quickly noticed the look of triumph on Cloud's face and glanced in the same general direction and noticed the unenthusiastic informant, better known as Jayden, squished in between Yazoo and Kadaj, looking about ready to puke.

"_So that's why he looks so happy."_ Reno thought, rolling his eyes, _"His paranoia's been proven right. Although…judging by the look of piss-your-pants fear on her face…I'm not too sure she really wants to be there. Then again, I've been wrong before."_

Vincent also stared at the gathering at the table, eyes narrowing slightly. The fact that they were surrounded by hundreds of innocent by-standards had him slightly concerned (…and the fact that two members of your faction are hammered doesn't bother you?) not too mention the security cameras that lined the ceilings.

Rufus looked, if anything, amused. This whole situation was proving far more interesting than he could have ever hoped. True, the obsession placed on the loyalties of the Schwartz girl were growing a bit stale, but near endless clashes between his men, the AVALANCHE resistance and Schwartz more than made up for it.

Rude, while not trusting Jayden, didn't want to see anyone get hurt. And at the moment, she was about three nano-seconds away from losing her thumb to the tip of Souba's blade (which definitely qualified as a BIG ouchie in his book) and no one else present appeared as though they were going to do anything to help.

* * *

Jayden bit down on her lip, trying her best not to cry...and failing miserably. After about five minutes of grilling her for information, Kadaj decided that more...persuasive tactics were to be employed. 

By which I mean he maintained a firm grip on her neck with one hand, grabbed a hold of Jayden's wrist with the other and pressed her hand flat against the table. The grin on Loz's face and the nod from Kadaj was all Yazoo needed before extracting Souba from it's sheath.

Jayden knew even trying to struggle would be stupid at this juncture, and the twin blades hovering over her thumb were starting to make seriously reconsider whether or not she should start talking.

But then she would have to hear the CG characters she had been harboring gloat about how they had been right, how she hadn't been trustworthy, and blah-blah-blah.

_"…it can be reattached...s'long as I get it on ice in time."_ Jayden thought with a sob, allowing a whimper to escape her lips despite herself, _"At least now they can't call me a liar, a traitor and…and…"_

"Are you _**sure**_ you don't want to think about reconsidering?" Yazoo asked sneeringly, looking far too content for his own good as he raised his younger sibling's katana high into the air.

Jayden shook her head. She knew it really didn't matter if she talked or not. The damage to Gaia had been done. She wasn't going to make it any worse by blabbing like an idiot...again.

"So be it." Kadaj shrugged, nodding at Yazoo who swung the Souba down at the table with all the force he possessed.

Jayden screamed, squeezed her eyes tightly shut…then had to wonder why she wasn't in any pain.

"So…having fun?" a familiar, sarcastic voice drawled to her right.

Jayden's eyes flew open and found that she had been in such a state of shrieking terror that she hadn't felt Rude grab her wrist and swing her up and over his shoulder.

But she quickly decided that she was over being scared in favor of being real pissed. Jayden glared at Reno, ever calm and smirking at the dumbfounded, I've-Just-Been-Smacked-Across-The-Face-With-A-Frying-Pan expression she had previously worn on her face.

"**_Does it LOOK LIKE I'M HAVING FUN YOU ASS?_**" she bellowed, right into poor Rude's ear no less, causing the man to drop her flat on her back.

Jayden quickly scrabbled back to her feet, noting, with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, that her sudden absence was not lost on the SHM as they quickly spotted her new location and began advancing on her.

"Oh, fuck me." She moaned, head falling into her hands, "When will it end? **WHEN?**"

Cloud snuck up behind Jayden, and clapped a hand on her shoulder a little tighter than necessary making her wince in pain.

"So…you haven't been feeding them information, hm?" he asked, glee practically overflowing his eyes.

"**FOR THE _LAST TIME_ NUH**-oh why should I even _**try**_ anymore. There's no reasoning with you people." Jayden said drably as the Remnants finally closed in, "I am **so tired** of all this."

"So…you ran off to rejoin the traitor, huh?" Loz asked, eyeing Cloud and fingering the Double Hound with anticipation.

"Would you all just shut **_up?_**" Jayden snapped irritably at them both, too mentally and emotionally drained to care any more, "At this point, I don't see how it really matters **which** side I'm on!"

"What did you just-…" Yuffie gawked at the girl equal to her in height but not in proportions, "Are you **_serious?_**"

"Hmm, lets recap, shall we?" Jayden said in a tone that was nothing short of scathing, "**You've **treated me like a criminal since day one, and have shown **_no signs_** that you're **ever** going to treat me like a human _**being**_. **You** have me under **_constant_** surveillance and I **know** **_that's_** not ending anytime soon."

She then turned her gaze on the SHM, shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders.

"At least with **these** guys I'll have no delusions about them treating me with care." Jayden snorted, "I think the best way to go about this is just to let you guys kill each other off and if any of you happens to be left standing afterwards, I'll be over…here."

She began walking on to the dance floor again.

Vincent grabbed a hold of her wrist as she passed him causing Cid to topple to the floor.

"Hold it." He said tersely…only to have the hand in question swatted off and have his gaze met with an equally cold one.

"Me? Myah." She said in a tone very reminiscent of Eric Cartman, pointing to a vague location amid the dancing bodies and walking off, "You guys work it out. I'm **_through_** dealing with all of you. It's too much hassle and bad for my overall health in general."

* * *

No one spoke for a moment. The just watched her weave her way through the crowds until she was no longer visible anymore. 

Tseng was the first to speak, beating Reno to the punch this time.

"Did she tell you anything?" Tseng demanded of Kadaj, who merely curled his lips into a sneer and said nothing, "What did she say to you? **Tell me.**" Tseng growled.

"Nothing." Loz said immediately, instantly drawing ferocious glared from his elder and younger sibling, which he was immune to by this point, "They couldn't get anything out of her."

"**Loz, _why_ did you _tell them that?_**" Kadaj cried, on Loz in a second, grabbing his elder brother's collar and shaking him.

"…cuz'm tired of your crap." Loz said in a slightly defiant, yet shaky tone, only to be pistol whipped by Velvet Nightmare, "**OW! _Yazoo!_**"

"Try anything that will give our adversaries a leg up again and it will be worse than that, brother dear." Yazoo replied in a sickeningly sweet voice, finger tensing over the trigger before sliding the gun back into its holster.

"So she was telling the truth." Tifa said dispassionately, quirking her eyebrow, tapping her foot, folding her arms over her chest and staring pointedly at the men of both factions who had refused to let go of their groundless paranoia.

"They did what they believed was best, Ms. Lockhart." Rufus said easily, making the tension on Tseng's face relax slightly, "It was just that their beliefs in this case happened to be completely off target."

"I merely assessed the situation and took the proper course of action sir!" Tseng cried indignantly, a pale pink tinge rising in his face, "I'll admit that I was wrong and will do what's necessary to rectify the damage, but-!

"I think it may be a bit too late for that." Tifa said casually, resting her weight on her hip and examining her nails, "You heard her. She's taken so much crap from us she doesn't care which side she's on anymore."

"That does pose a problem." Yuffie said in an over bright voice, twisting the stolen platinum chain around her fingers, "But I guess it's our fault, huh?"

"No, yuh think?" Reno snorted, rolling his eyes, "The real issue here is what are we gonna-**HEY! Where'd they go?**"

In the time period in which the AVALANCHE resistance and Turks had started their mild tiff, the Remnants had set off after Jayden again. They knew this because the streaking black blurs on the dance floor were a dead give away.

"Shit, it never ends, does it?" Cloud hissed, taking off after them through the crowds of people, "The only thing that's come from this situation is that Schwartz is trustworthy."

"Oh brother." Rufus sighed, smirk growing slightly as he motioned to the Turks to follow after Cloud, "At least this hasn't gotten boring yet. If anything, this is growing increasingly entertaining with each passing moment."

* * *

Jayden approached the DJ for the second time that night, this time not to chat, but to with a distinct purpose in mind. 

She knew that there would be no way in hell that either group would just allow her to walk away like that and more likely than not, they were on her tail at this moment.

So when they finally did catch up, Jayden had to ensure that she was in the proper location.

"**_Hey, Dominigo!_**" she shouted over the pulsating beats of Fifty Cent, "**Remember that song I requested?**"

"**_Hell_ yeah!**" the man hollered, working the turntables, "**_Why?_ Y'ready for it now or somethin'?**"

"_**You know it!**_" Jayden yelled back, giving the older man the thumbs up as she dashed off towards the ceiling high speakers, "**And make sure to crank up th' volume man! _Really_ make th' floor shake!**"

"**_You got it, half pint!_**" the DJ shouted over the din at Jayden's rapidly retreating form, preparing to switch out songs.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jayden swore she saw a black blur and a thrill of apprehension shot down her spine: she knew, purely based on instinct on this point, that it had to be one of the Remnants.

One of the speakers was only a few feet away and Jayden forced herself to move faster through the obstructing bodies all around her. Finally, she was in position…but the Remnants had caught up to her as well.

"Heh…there you are." Kadaj sneered, Yazoo and Loz closing in on either side as Jayden backed herself into the speaker, feeling the vibrations gun through her teeth.

_"C'mon Dominigo, get th' lead out." _She thought anxiously as Loz reached for her, _"I know I can't stall them – no way in hell!"_

At the last plausible second, she felt the song change from _Ridin' Drrty_ to _Dem Jeans_ by Chingy and clapped her hands over her ears as the volume increased dramatically as per her request.

Jayden knew it was painful for her, but with their superior senses, it had to be positively excruciating for the Remnants as the deafening bass tore up the club and gave her the split second she needed to escape.

_"It was stupid, it was a long shot, but it WORKED GODDAMMIT! HA HA!"_ Jayden thought, laughing hysterically as she ran with everything she possessed for the exit.

But just as she was within spitting distance of the door, a hand clamped around her elbow and pulled her into a dark corner.

_"Noooooooo! So close! I was so close!"_ she thought hysterically as a screen of crimson overtook her vision.

The red haze then dissipated and Jayden found herself outside on the blacktop roof of the Downunder. She only knew her current location by the huge lighted sign outlining the silhouettes of the Turks and AVALANCHE resistance.

"I take it you've finally decided on killing me in a manner that would look like an accident, huh?" Jayden asked bleakly, walking over to the edge of the building and trying not to vomit (yeah…it was a lonnnnnnnnnnnng way down)

"What **are** you talking about?" Reno snorted, smirking at the delightful shade of grayish-green she had turned, "After taking into account what the Remnants had to say and a few moments of deliberation, we finally decided that we believe you."

"…it took you **_this_** long?" she asked weakly, allowing her knees to give out and her forehead to rest on the edge of the building.

"I apologize on behalf of the Turks Ms. Schwartz." Rufus said formally, performing a deep, sweeping bow, "You have endured a great deal of grief because of the air of mistrust we wrought."

Jayden looked ready to throw up then let her head drop to her wrists again.

"Oh alright." She sighed tiredly, waving a hand dismissively without raising her head, "I'm to lazy to hold a grudge anyway. Just forget about it okay? But you start up this crap again – and I swear to god-"

"They wont." Tifa interjected, shifting Barrett on her shoulder and sending Cloud an exasperated look, "Not if I have anything to say about it."

She then nudged Cloud between the shoulder blades, "Isn't there something you'd like to say?" Tifa asked pointedly, giving the ex-SOLDIER a light shove towards the semi-cowaring teen.

Cloud stared hard at the black top and shuffled his feet, muttering something under his breath.

"What Cloud? What wazzat?" Yuffie asked teasingly, digging for non-existant wax in her ear, "We couldn't hear you!"

"'m sorry." Cloud mumbled, a bit louder this time, "'m sorry I called you a liar...and a traitor...and..."

"Cloud - for the sake of everyone around you...just let it go." Jayden said exasperatedly, not even bothering to lift her head from her arms, "Seriously, Emo Boy, I'm really too tired, and too lazy to care at this point."

"Don't worry!" Yuffie said cheerfully, almost dropping Cid, who had passed out sometime ago, "We'll make sure that this never happens again. Promise!"

_"Somehow…that's none to comforting."_ Jayden thought drearily as Elena began looking a bit uncomfortable.

"So...what happens now?" the female Turk asked awkwardly.

"Well I propose we head back t' Mischa's and get drunk cuz I'm all outta ideas." Jayden say listlessly, "And don't you even try to feed me that 'I'm underaged' crap. I really don't care anymore."

"Sounds like a plan t' me." Reno whooped, earning him disdainful looks from the rest of the assembled party.

* * *

(A/N: The AVALNCHE resistance, Turks and Jayden get hammered and play 20 Questions, another kink appears in the original plot line, and much, much more. R&R!) 


	17. Through Ale Tinted Glasses

(A/N: Hey all! The doctors have finally figured out what's wrong with me! Stomach Flu! Fun huh? Any hoo, I'd just like to take a moment to thank all of you who have stayed the course and stuck with me throughout this fic! And now, READ ON!)

* * *

About an hour and a bus ride later, the CG characters made real were back at Mischa Dalton's apartment and about halfway through the red-head's liquor cabinet. So needless to say, eveyone present was either blitzed or well on their way there.

"**Okay!** _**Okay!**_ What's th' most **out there** thing you've **_ever_** done?" Yuffie asked loudly, sloshing her bottle of Budweiser around erratically and splashing the carpet with booze.

"Me? Surf naked." Jayden replied, looking completely serious before raising her bottle of Smirnoff Twisted Apple to her lips again.

"F' real?" Vincent asked, about halfway through a bottle of Irish Whiskey, slumped in a most ungainly fashion in an easy chair.

"Yuh huh." Jayden nodded, a sloppy smile forming on her lips, "I was vis'din Kyle's girl, Ipo, 'n H'waii and we all got drunk like this n' they dared me to."

"Whuddabout you, tall dark an broodin'?" Elena asked Vincent casually, a shot glass in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other.

"Me? …'ll hafta think 'bout that." He said looking thoughtful as he drank deep from the bottle in his hand.

"Well, while he's thinkin', **I'll **go!" Tseng declared loudly, his hand shooting into the air and slopping Zima everywhere, "**_IIIIIIIIII_**…feel vereh sleepeh alla suh'en."

Tseng then flopped forward and hit the floor - hard. The only indication that he was alright was the loud snore he emitted shortly after impact.

"**Hehehehehe**…Tseng fagged out early!" Cloud giggled, poking the snoring Turk with his index finger, "C'mon man…wakey-wakey time."

"Leave'm lone Cloud.." Tifa slurred, pulling Cloud into her chest and apparently using up her remaining strength doing so, "…**OHMI_GOD_** your heavy!" she laughed, patting the ex-SOLDIER on the back of his head.

"**I gotta queshion!**" Reno said, raising his hand like he was in school, "Who here…'members when th' losh their faith, huh?"

"Oh I member th' exact **_day!_**" Jayden cried, eyes widening into saucers, sitting bolt upright, "It wash th' day m' Daddy died. M' Gram-Gram wash tryna c'nsole me 'r sumthin' n' nuttin' sh' said wash makin m' feel be'r."

A sloppy grin appeared on her face as she took another deep swig.

" Jay'en, sh' said, God hash a plan." Jayden drawled messily, "Heh…I gah sho **ANGRY** adder. I mean…whaddbout m' **_MOM'SH_** plansh? She'd planned t' grow old wid mah Daddy…watchin' 'im race til'ee 'tired…**WASHIN' DAT _PLAN_ GOOD'NUF FER _GOD?_**…guesh nah."

She sighed listlessly and took another, long drag from the Smirnoff bottle in her hand, oblivious to the stares she was receiving from her outburst.

Jayden turned her glazed stare on Rufus, who was nowhere near as inebriated as everyone else present as he was leisurely sipping on red wine.

"Whaddbout **you**…Misher Fancy Pansh Prezzdent? Presh...Prezz...Ah fuck it, y'know whud I mean." she drawled, her drunken grin growing, making all conscious eyes turn on him, "When you loosh yer virgin'ty?"

"Dunno." He shrugged honestly, deciding to ignore the sudden subject change, "It was quite awhile ago to a female colleague. And I can tell you this much, I **_seriously_** regret it."

"**Why?**" Rude asked, glasses halfway off his face as he draped himself over Rufus's shoulders, "Why'dya 'greddit Sir? Y've ne'er grettited _**an'thin'**_."

"Well…let's just say I was **way** too young and she was **_way_** too old…and **pushy**." Rufus chuckled lightly, moving to peel the larger man off his shoulder only to have him tighten his grip and start bawling.

"**'M SHO _SHOWWY!_**" Rude sobbed (apparently a very emotional drunk) "**AH SHUDDA BIN DER T' 'TECT YA! _WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_**"

"Get a _**hold**_ of yourself man!" Rufus yelped as Jayden finally passed out in front of the T.V., spilling the remaining contents of the liquor bottle in her hair.

Reno, a very experienced drinker (…you're only nineteen dude!), just started laughing hysterically, splashing Heineken all down his front.

Cloud just continued drinking his Samuel Adams lazily as Tifa, unwilling to relinquish her hold on him, continued to down her Bailey's with one hand.

* * *

"**JAYDEN ELLIOT _SCHWARTZ!_** **You are in _SO _MUCH TROUBLE!**" 

"_OWSHIT!_ Charlie not so loud." Jayden moaned, not chancing opening her eyes to see the infuriated face of her elder brother looming over her.

"Oh you think I'm loud **_now?_** **JUST YOU _WAI-MMPH_NMPH_MMPH!_**" His angry retort was cut off by some unseen obstruction.

"Chill out, Sugar Lips." Ah…so it was Mischa's hand covering Charlie's mouth, "Like **you've** never let her drink before."

"Well…_**yeah**_, but while **I** was there to take th' **_bottle_** away when she'd had **enough**." Charlie sputtered indignantly, only to be met with a scathing snort.

"**_Ohhh_**, was that before or **after** you passed out?" Mischa shot back with a snicker, in a way that allowed Jayden to practically feel the smirk, "By the look of things, none of them tried anything, babe."

"But what if they **_did?_**" Charlie cried out in frustration as Jayden finally willed her eyes open, "What if one of those cock suckers-"

"Charlie…dya member what m' nickname round school is?" Jayden asked dully, not daring to lift her head off the floor.

"J.D.?" Charlie asked lamely, drawing a sigh from both Mischa and Jayden.

"It's Sticks…Charlie." Mischa said shaking her head, "Sticks."

"Dya **really** think'm gonna get laid with a nickname like that?" Jayden asked tiredly, trying to ignore the dull throbbing ache in her temples.

"Not really." Charlie replied honestly, tugging his hungover sister roughly to her feet, causing her stomach to fly to her throat.

"_Oh_ _god_…Charlie you fuckin' _idiot_." Jayden gasped, dashing clumsily for the bathroom…but not making it nearly that far and puking in a potted plant.

"What's all th' noise about?" Cloud asked grouchily, pushing himself away from Tifa, still sleeping soundly on the floor with the Bailey's bottle clutched in her hand.

Jayden's only response was to retch again as Mischa held her hair and shot an exasperated look at her boyfriend.

"_Sorry_." He mouthed sheepishly as Reno pulled himself off the floor and wandered past the female pair and into the bathroom to clear his sluices.

* * *

Rufus had known when to say when and had woken without a hangover…however Rude, who didn't, chose the precise moment the President of ShinRa corp.'s awakening to throw up in his lap. 

"Oh **guh**-_**ross**_!" He cried, unable to muster sympathy at the sight of his favorite double-breasted overcoat coated in vomit, "Couldn't you have made it to the window? …ah **man!**"

Elena managed to drag herself into the kitchen and heave into the sink. Luckily for her it was the side with the garbage disposal.

Tseng, despite having drunk massive amounts of liquor, found no need to puke…he was however extremely sensitive to light and sounds, making the sounds of four people vomiting…very loudly, nearly unbearable.

Whether it was the beast inside him processing the alcohol inside him at superhuman speeds, or that he simply had an extremely high tolerance, Vincent woke up feeling fine and wondering vaguely what all the fuss was about.

Tifa, after all her time as a Bar Maid, had a high alcohol tolerance, so while she had a slight headache, she felt alright…unlike Cloud, who, after seeing the sink, bathroom, potted plant and Rufus's lap were taken, rushed out the apartment door and heaved over the railing.

Yuffie, like Vincent and Rufus, had awakened fresh as a daisy. Whether it was a super fast metabolism, an unknown tolerance to liquor or simply a special ability that had yet to be uncovered, none could be certain. All Yuffie wanted to know is why everyone was feeling so urpy.

Cid and Barrett, by far the most seasoned among the assembled party, merely sat up, shook their heads to clear up the last of the drunken haze and wandered over to the T.V. to see what was on.

"**_Sheesh!_** What did you guys **do**, clean out Mischa's **_liquor cabinet_** or something?" Charlie cried as Cloud stumbled back into the apartment.

"Hey, there's enough of them for that to be a definite possibility babe." Mischa laughed from beside the potted plant.

* * *

"Man oh man…won't be doin' that again…for awhile." Jayden said dully, slumping down on the couch as Mischa braided her hair (just in case) 

"Hey…but it was fun, huh?" Reno grinned from the corner of his eye at her as Mischa tied off the end of her hair.

"How should I know…I can't remember what happened for shit." Elena muttered tiredly, voice raspy from throwing up.

"I'm seriously thinking of enforcing a strict no alcohol policy." Rufus scowled, sans overcoat as it was being washed.

"Aw, c'mon Boss! Don't be like that!" Reno whined as Jayden snorted and shook her head.

"Might be a good idea Mr…" She trailed off and just stared at Rufus, her mouth agape in an 'o' of horror.

"What?" Rufus asked warily as Jayden scrabbled forward, Rude and Tseng instinctively moving into protect him in case she tried anything funny.

"_**Your eyes!**_" she demanded, looking frightened, "Let me see your **eyes!** It's **_important!_**"

"…ohhhhhhkayeeee." Rufus said slowly, Yuffie and Tifa giving the girl an odd look as she grasped either side of his face and peered into his eyes carefully.

"Oh…oh **_no_**…this is…" Jayden stammered, scooching away from Rufus and looking at Cloud instantly, "**Cloud!** Your **_eyes!_** I **have** to _**see**_ them! **Now!**"

"Alright…you mind if I ask why?" the ex-SOLDIER asked tentatively as Jayden grabbed each side of his face and stared into his eyes scrutinizingly.

"This is…this is all **_wrong!_** Why didn't I notice this **before?**" Jayden cried, hands falling from Cloud's face and rising to her own, "The plotline in your world must be more off track than I originally guessed if…"

"**_JAYDEN!_**" Yuffie cried, snapping the skinny teen to attention, "Tell us what's wrong."

"Cloud…Rufus…**both** of them are supposed to be infected with Geostigma…but their **_eyes_**…" Jayden moaned, massaging her temples, "…their eyes are **clear**. **_Both_** of them are healthy."

"Oh **god**…oh **_god_**…**oh _god_**…that's one of the most **fundamental** plot points of the **_entire_** film!" she moaned, looking as though she was trying not to be sick again, "Cloud's struggle with the disease while simultaneously doing battle with the ghosts of Sephiroth's mind? Rufus reserving most of his strength by remaining in a wheel chair? Why didn't I notice it earlier?"

"Chill out, girl." Barrett said sharply, the skinny nymph of a teen looking as though she was on the verge of a major migraine, "It can't be that big of a deal. I mean, so two people are healthy…big whoop."

"Big wh-you **_obviously_** don't understand how **important** this is!" Jayden snapped, appearing as though her brain was about to overload, "This could be the event that sent you into here in the **_first_** **_place!_** What threw **your** world **_and_** mine off kilter!"

Tifa forced the gawky girl back into a seated position and patted her on the head.

"Calm down." She said in a pacifying tone, "Even though we know this now, it's not as though we can go back and fix it right? None of us are capable of time travel."

Jayden said nothing…just colored slightly. Apparently she had overlooked that little factor.

* * *

"Let me guess…forgot about that…dincha?" Ren grinned, not about to pass over an opportunity to belittle the minute teen. 

"That's enough." Rufus said calmly, interjecting before Jayden had a chance to erupt (not that she was gonna; she was too hungover), "Clearly Ms. Schwartz had other things on her mind than to concern herself with what we are capable of."

"'sides, there's a real old sayin'…how'd it go again? Oh yeah! Que sera, sera!" Cid said, palming his fist, "We should just roll with it, y'know?"

"…glad **you're** so laid back about it." Elena muttered, internally singing her stomach a lullaby in a fruitless attempt to keep from upchucking a fifth time.

"Okay…where do we go from here?" Cloud said with a sigh as Jayen let herself flop back on the floor. "You've made it very clear that you can't help us anymore."

"Yes. We should try to walk a route that would not damage Gaia too much." Vincent said coolly, eyeing the skinny girl on the floor.

"I _**said**_ I was sorry." She mumbled blandly, staring at the pointy metal toe of his shoe and trying not to giggle at how silly it made him look.

I mean **really**, talk about killing the overall effect of his look! Claws? Acceptable. Cape? Fine. Pointy, giagantor, metal clown shoes? Uh-uh.

Apparently, Jayden wasn't able to stop the grin from forming on her lips…and that grin was not lost on Vincent, whose frown deepened and he stooped down to peer at her.

"And what, pray tell, is so amusing?" he asked, narrowing his crimson eyes her in an attempt to wipe the grin off her face.

However, Jayden had a low alcohol tolerance and ¾ of a bottle of Smirnoff Twisted Apple in her from the night before so…let's just say she was feeling a bit braver normal.

"Your shoes." Jayden replied, poking them with one finger, her grin growing, "I mean…you're so serious and they're so…not."

Vincent's generally pale face colored at remark…it went even redder as Reno, Barrett and Cid began to howl with laughter.

"Hey, **_HEY!_** **Shuddap!**" Jayden snapped, chucking the pillow beneath her head at them…which they easily dodged, "It aint **THAT** funny. I was just _**sayin'**_ is all."

"So you wanted to make him even **more** self conscious…is that it?" Rude asked pointedly drawing the lanky teen's attention to him.

She sighed and forced herself into a deep bow on the floor, the kind that leaves your neck exposed.

"'m sorry for calling your shoes dorky Vincent. How could I have been so foolish?" Jayden said into the carpet, "To make it up, you may call me what ever mean things come to mind, kay?"

Vincent just stared. He never resorted to name-calling. Ever. It was beneath him. It was so childish. But the way everyone was looking at him now…it was as though they expected it of him!

"C'mon, Vincent." Cloud said, leaning back against the couch so he could get a better view, "We don't have all day."

"Ya need help?" Reno asked enthusiastically, more than ready to jump in with the three million and seven cruel nicknames he had at his disposal.

"This is silly." Tifa said awkwardly…even though she was staring at Vincent with just as much anticipation as the rest of them.

Vincent turned his gaze to Rufus Shinra, of all people, for a way out, but the young president merely shrugged his shoulders and said, "Get it over with."

"Uh…um…Skinny?" he said uncomfortably, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Good start." Jayden said, nose still pressed against the carpet, "Keep going."

"Uh…Scrawny?…Shrimpy?" Vincent continued clumsily, looking very unsure of himself, "Uh…um…"

"Oh brother. This is just painful." Jayden sighed, forehead still getting acquainted with the carpet fibers, "Guys? Help'm out."

"Half-pint!" Yuffie hollered, punching the air.

"Runt?" Elena asked, shrugging her shoulders.

"Sticks! Elfy McDwarfmore! Twiggy! Shrimpboat! Pipsqueak!" Reno yelled, looking very proud of himself.

"Short-stack." Rufus said, looking mildly amused.

"**_Okay_**, you can stop now." Jayden ground out, only to be ignored.

"Ms. Microscopic." Rude chuckled, earning himself a hi-five from Reno.

"That's enough." Jayden said, looking annoyed.

"Tiny Tina." Cid snickered, making Barrett laugh loudly and Jayden grind her teeth.

"**OKAY!**" She cried, slamming both palms against the carpet, "**Enough!** …Vincent, ya feel better now?"

The quiet man nodded, mildly surprised she had gone to such lengths to make him feel better (…it surpr-after she went to such extremes to earn your trust? COME ON!)

* * *

(A/N: The FFVII gang visits Jayden's Dad...which means a visit to a cemetary. It sounds like they're in for a depressing time, BUT...it winds up leading into an afternoon of fun. Plus, more with the SHM. R&R!) 


	18. Father, Where Art Thou? Oh! Right!

(A/N: HI ALL! Longest chappie so far! That said, enjoy!)

* * *

"Um…Jayden?" Mischa asked uncomfortably, fiddling with the end of Jayden's braid, "What were you all just talking about?" 

Jayden bit down on her tongue to keep a nervous squeak from escaping as she noticed, much to her horror that Charlie was peering at her from the kitchen, gnawing on an apple.

She had become so caught up in noticing the lack of Geostigma that she had forgotten all about the presence of her older brother and his girlfriend.

_"Crap, crappity, crap, crap, CRAP!"_ Jayden thought, noting with some relief that this time around, she wasn't the only one panicking.

Reno was sporting quite the intriguing Hand-In-The-Cookie-Jar expression, Yuffie had switched herself around so that she sat on her hands, Elena had started chewing her nails…ahhh…progress.

But even though the fact Jayden wasn't odd-man-out anymore brought her some semblance of comfort, that still didn't get her anywhere when it came to alibi's.

_"Oh man. Think, think, think!"_ Jayden berated herself, trying her best to shut out the inquisitive looks on Mischa and Charlie's faces, _"I guess…I guess it's time for me to come out of the proverbial closet…kinda."_

"W-well, Javier is part of a…what was it again…" Jayden said trying to look thoughtful, "Oh yeah! Final Fantasy RP group with his cousin!"

"**Javier?**" Charlie asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"_**Role Play?**_" Mischa inquired, releasing Jayden's hair.

Jayden grabbed a hold of Rufus and Reno, dragging them both rather awkwardly off the floor; awkwardly as both men were much taller than herself.

"Javier." She said, pointing at Rufus who looked momentarily confused, but covered it fabulously by nodding fervently, "Cousin." Jayden stated, motioning at Reno, who apparently found the idea of being related to Rufus Shinra hilarious and almost busted a seam…until Rufus nearly busted his toe by grinding his heel into the Turk's foot.

"Oh." Charlie nodded, his face still wearing a skeptical expression, "But that still doesn't explain why you were helping them sis. I mean, I didn't know you were into-"

"I'm **not!**" Jayden lied, making the CG characters look at her strangely, "It's just…just that they were short a person so I was filling in!"

"…okay." Mischa said slowly, eyeing Elena instead of the gawky teen, "So tell me, what's the scenario for this RP situation then?"

"W-well…it's a…a real world account of what would happen if game characters were pulled into this world." Elena stated, reading Jayden's lips over the red-headed woman's shoulder.

"I see." Charlie said listlessly, shrugging his shoulders, "So I guess you're all into Final Fantasy, huh?"

"Yeah." Cloud nodded, looking a bit more at ease, "Keith and Javier told us about their RP awhile back but when we realized we were a person short…"

"We roped your sister into it." Tseng said quickly, seeing where this conversation was going, "Were having her play the role of Normal Girl From This World Dealing With Game Characters."

"She was very reluctant at first as she didn't know much about Final Fantasy." Yuffie pressed, causing a scowl to form on Jayden's face for a microsecond, "But after we gave her the basic summary, she agreed."

"Only because these guys wouldn't stop **_hounding_** her." Tifa sighed, shrugging her shoulders, "But that's in the past I guess. Anything we left out?"

"Naw, that about covers it." Mischa smiled sheepishly, "Sorry for the third degree, but that sudden bout of inexplicable rambling was really confusing."

"No problem, bro." Barrett said dismissively, waving his good hand, "If y' aint in th' know, its bound t' blow y' mind."

"We're gonna be heading out now, aight?" Charlie drawled, tugging Mischa to her feet, "And I know how much is in the liquor cabinet, so back off, y'hear?"

"**We won't _touch_ it.**" Cid called back at the twenty year old, fingers crossed behind his back in an oh-so-obvious way, "Just git outta here an' have fun."

"We'll probably be out late so I left money for pizza." Mischa called over her shoulder, "Just put it on your tab, J.D."

"M'kay." Jayden called back lazily as the door shut with a slam, sinking down to the floor in relief, "Cut it close that time."

* * *

"No kidding." Rude said, adjusting his sunglasses with his index finger, "You're just lucky I was blocking your brother's view or he **_definitely_** would have caught you lip syncing." 

"Just spank my ass and call me Ashlee Simpson then." Jayden replied blandly as she reached for the remote, flicking on the tube and ignoring the weird looks she was receiving.

"Now **that** was random." Reno said brightly.

"Who's Ashlee Simpson?" Rufus had to know, a look of genuine curiosity on his face.

"A wannabe punk who gives the entire music industry a bad name." Jayden replied vaguely, her eyes focused on the T.V. screen, "Got caught lip syncing one of her own songs at a concert."

"…**_hehehehehe!_** Ashlee Simpson! I get it! That's hilarious!" Yuffie laughed, earning herself strange looks from not only the AVALANCHE resistance, but the Turks as well, "What?"

"Hey…" Jayden muttered, eyes narrowing slightly as a zombie started eating the Martyred Big Boobed Chick's ear, "Did I say anything last night?…anything weird…or…?"

"Only about how you're pissed that your Dad died." Reno replied instantly, which earned him a backhand across the skull, courtesy of Cloud (he happened to be closer than Rude this time), "**OW!**"

"Oh, alright." Jayden said, looking relieved, "I thought I might've said something weird like **_Ipo_** does when she's drunk."

"Such as?" Tifa pressed.

"Such as _-deep breath-_ **Kenny Rogers is eating my _feet!_**" Jayden yelled, throwing her head back and trying not to laugh, "**_Barney's_ ridin' a itty bitty pink _elephant!_ He's _crushin'_ the poor thing!**"

She was now laughing hysterically, choosing to ignore the looks that clearly said _"Should we get this girl institutionalized?"_ and kept laughing until she managed to calm herself down enough to talk.

"Yeah…that's some of the crap Ipo spouts out when she's shitfaced." Jayden sighed, wiping mirthful tears from her eyes, "Fuckin' hilarious dude."

"…okay…not to change the subject or anything, but can we talk about your dad for a second?" Tifa asked tentatively, "From the way you talked about'm earlier and last night, I get the distinct impression he's-" 

"-pushin' up daisies?" Jayden asked mildly, switching herself away from the T.V., "Unfortunately."

"What was he like?" Yuffie asked, looking interested.

"He was **_the_** coolest dad on the face of the planet." Jayden said, looking absolutely positive of what she said, "He lived doing what he loved and died doing what he loved."

"How did he die?" Rufus wanted to know, looking genuinely curious. Maybe hearing about Daddy's Biting the Big One gets him off or something…I dunno.

"He was rounding the final turn in the Winston Cup and another driver hit his backend." Jayden shrugged, laying back against the sofa cushions and nudging Cid's knees with her bony elbow, "Fishtailed nose first into the wall."

She appeared thoughtful for a moment then looked up and to the right so she was staring directly at Cloud.

"Y'know…he isn't too far from here…and I haven't visited him in awhile…y'wanna go see'm with me?" Jayden asked offhandedly.

* * *

"Y'know…somehow I expected this place to be…I dunno, drearier?" Reno shrugged as they trudged through the cemetery about half an hour later. 

"Well, that's why we wanted him buried here." Jayden remarked calmly, as the made their way past an immense stone angel, "They have a fantastic maintenance staff here, and really great security so there's no chance his grave will be vandalized."

"Why would you worry about that?" Rude asked, stepping sideways to avoid overturning a vase of flowers that had been set next to a head plate not too long ago.

"Well, fanatics do some crazy shit." Yuffie said matter-of-factly as they large assembly continued along the stone path, "Dig up bodies in hopes of obtaining clothing, jewelry and other crap to trade and sell. ...other people just do it cuz they have nothing better to do."

"Here he his!" Jayden announced, drawing them off the main path and up to a huge granite race-car with the number 73 engraved on the door, "This is my Daddy's grave."

Tifa moved forward first to read the inscription, "Dante Koen Schwartz. 1961-2003. Loving Husband, Caring Father, Fierce Racer. Burning Rubber In Heaven."

Jayden let loose an unmistakable giggle, causing all eyes to turn on her.

"Sorry, that last bit always makes me laugh." She explained, moving in front of the headstone and squatting down, "Hey Daddy. Sorry I haven't visited in awhile. Some new…well…I wouldn't call'm **friends**…"

The entire assembled party (with the obvious exception of Vincent, who doesn't care) looked a tad miffed, not that Jayden noticed as she tried to think of a good word to describe the CG characters made real.

"…**_acquaintances_** maybe." She said thoughtfully, eyes turned toward the sky, oblivious to Reno attempting to konk her on the head with an urn, "Anyway, I thought I should bring'm here to meetcha. After all, 'snot like they'd **ever** leave me alone."

Tseng wrenched the vase out of Reno's grasp and shoved the flame head into Rude's clutches, where the quiet man held him in place as Tseng returned the urn (which held some poor old lady's **_ashes_** by the way) to it's proper place.

In the mean time, Jayden flopped back against the lush grass of her father's final resting place.

"Maybe you could pop up and pull some Night Of The Living Dead shit on'm." she smirked, pushing her bangs out of her eyes with one hand, "Break free of your coffin and wreak havoc and crap…_ahhhh_, who'm I kiddin'? Shit like that only happens in movies."

"…so howdya explain **us?**" Cloud wanted to know, making Jayden burst out laughing at the expression of sincere curiosity on his face.

"**_I…have _no_…idea._**" She giggled, forcing herself upright so that she was leaning against the headstone, "_Ahhh_…I don't think I've laughed like this since…well…since be**fore** you all came along."

"Then apparently **_I_** need to brush up my comedic skill then." Reno said, a deep scowl on his face and looking visibly offended as he moved to assault the gawky girl with his arsenal of dirty jokes.

"Maybe later." Elena said sternly, grabbing a hold of Reno's ear and tugging him back to his place in line, looking very staid…while internally she was whining like a three-year old; Tseng hadn't looked her way once.

"Well who else here is hungry? I know it can't be just me." Cid said loudly, drawing the attention of everyone present…including the groundskeeper who happened to be passing by.

"Well unless someone speaks up soon, it looks like you're on your own man." Barrett said sympathetically, patting the man on the back.

"It's not that." Rufus said crisply as he strode before the group, eyes dancing with amusement, "Its just that they, like myself, are doing their best to bar the memory of projectile vomiting from their minds. Right?"

* * *

The Remnants lay stretched out on the roof of a skyscraper. Loz stared at the sky, Kadaj was curled up on his side and Yazoo was on his stomach. 

"Can you hear anything yet?" Loz asked offhandedly. He was curious as all he had been able to hear since that scrawny little girl had escaped was a high-pitched ringing.

When he received no response from either of his siblings, Loz decided to take another stab. After all, it had been a long night. Maybe they were asleep.

"I **said**, can you _**hear**_ anything yet?" Loz asked again, a bit louder this time…only to be once **again** ignored by his brothers.

This time, he decided he wasn't gonna mess around. Loz pushed himself off the blacktop and stormed over to Kadaj so that he loomed over his younger sibling.

Kadaj twitched and rolled off his side, making it so that he got a good eyeful of his peeved elder brother.

"**_I _ASKED_ YOU IF YOU CAN _HEAR_ ANYTHING YET!_**" Loz thundered, hands balled into tight fists.

Kadaj stared blankly at his elder brother, wondering why he was pantomiming at him…and why he looked so pissed when Yazoo was still asleep…and what that weird ringing sound was.

"What?" he asked, cupping a hand around his ear, causing a look of confusion to appear on Loz's face, "Quit mouthing like a fish and ask your question so I can get some rest."

Loz simply shook his head, strode off and laid back down, much to Kadaj's annoyance.

_"Now what the hell was THAT all about?"_ he thought irritably, switching back on his side so he could go back to sleep, _"He had the audacity to wake me up, the least he could do is ask the question."_

Loz watched out of the corner of his eye until the telltale signs of Kadaj being in Dreamland came about.

_"So…he still can't hear anything…should I try…"_ Loz shot Yazoo a quick glance and the man shuddered in his sleep and shifted slightly, _"…nah."_

Loz sat up and massaged his ears, wondering what his next move should be until finally there was a sharp pain, a popping sensation…followed by a rush of sound.

With a hiss, Loz clamped both hands over his ears and almost knocked himself out with Double Hound in his hurry to block out the noise.

"**Owwuh**…." He moaned, removing his hands carefully after letting himself adjust, "…well at least I can hear now."

Loz sighed and carefully made his way past Yazoo to the edge of the building, hopping easily over the side to sit on the ledge.

He couldn't help but wonder what Big Brother Cloud and his friends found so fascinating about that girl. From where he sat there was nothing remarkable about her at all.

Loz knew that he could probably snap her in half like a twig with little to no effort…and even though it appeared as though she had some knowledge of Mother's location, that wasn't anything they could extract from Shinra or one of his men…right?

The whole situation to him on the whole was very confusing. But Loz supposed that was why Kadaj did all the thinking and not him.

* * *

"Where does it all **_go?_**" Cloud gaped, watching in twisted fascination as Jayden downed her second double bacon cheese burger, "Does she have a interdimensional **vortex** for a stomach?" 

"Its not as if she's a growing girl or something." Reno snickered, catching the fry Jayden chucked his way easily in his teeth, "Aw, you're so generous."

"**_'EY_**! You ever try keepin' up with you?" Jayden snapped, spraying crumbs and bacon everywhere, "Its **damn** hungry work! 'sides, I have a fast metabolism! It's 'bout the _**only**_ thing I can say in my favor."

"Why are you always so **down** on yourself?" Yuffie asked after finishing a mouthful of teriyaki beef and moving on to spear a bit of Osaka chicken, "I mean, you aren't **_that_** bad looking."

"But that's exactly** it!**" Jayden said exasperatedly, throwing her burger down on her plate, "The most I can ever hope for is **_cute!_** Not pretty. Not beautiful. Cute."

Jayden abruptly rose from her seat, making Vincent look up from his bowl of hot and sour soup as she moved behind Elena and turned the blonde woman's face around so that everyone present got a good look at her.

"**See?** Elena here pulls off beautiful without any effort at all." Jayden said matter-of-factly, moving to Tifa and patting the ebony-haired woman on the head, "Tifa pulls off beautiful without even **_trying!_**"

"Whaddabout me?" Yuffie demanded to know, wanting to know where she ranked on the scale.

"**You** pull off pretty with out much effort and with a bit of **_work_**, you pull off beautiful." Jayden said honestly, "Whereas **I** have been called beautiful all of **_one_** **_time_** in my life…and the guy who told me **that** was **_also_** cheating on me with the school bike so you can see how valuable **that** assessment was."

"What's so bad about being called cute?" Tseng asked, appearing legitimately interested as he set his fork aside and peered across the table at the obviously vexed Jayden.

However, it wasn't Jayden who answered the question, but Elena, who this time wasn't trying to cozy up to her crush, but wanted to give the man an honest answer.

"Cute is used too habitually." She said evenly, taking a sip of her iced tea, "Really, it's such a tired word. It's used to decribe people, animals, inanimate object, total strangers...**_really_**, it can be used to describe **almost** **_anything_**."

"Example?" Rude asked, wiping the corner of his mouth with a napkin.

"Well…that **dog** is cute." Yuffie said pointing to a very wrinkled, squat bulldog waddling across the street on a leash, making Cid snort soda out his nose.

"That _**cloud**_ is cute." Jayden smiled, pointing to a rather dark, ominous rain cloud in the distance which chose that precise moment to flash with lightning.

"That **sewer** **cover** is cute." Tifa grinned, pointing at the steel shield capping a manhole shut in the middle of the street, making Barrett start choking on a mouthful of fries.

"I see your point." Rufus smirked, taking a sip of his Earl Grey, "When you put it in that perspective, I can certainly understand how it would become tiresome after awhile."

"Yeah, and **_I_** can't even hope for **pretty** since I'm built like **this**." Jayden snorted, making a halfhearted circle around her face, "At least when I was still on **_swim team_** I got popularity dates (1)."

"**You **were a _**jock?**_" Reno laughed, looking at the skinny girl as though she was on crack, but quickly quieting after a single withering look from Vincent.

"What were your events?" the quiet man asked, reaching forward to take hold of his water glass.

"Three-hundred meter freestyle, four by one-hundred meter relay and I was on the diving squad." Jayden said, looking as though if she had the strength, speed and overall physical ability to strangle Reno, she would.

"Why'd you give it up?" Cloud asked, smacking Barrett's hand away as the GunArm reached forward to scam his milkshake.

"Cuz m'Daddy died." Jayden shrugged nonchalantly, "It was all a matter of what was important. Funeral expenses were killing us financially so we all made sacrifices. I gave up swim team, Charlie gave up hockey, Kyle gave up soccer and Mommy left her ladies club."

"Plus, I bet you all wanted to spend more time with one another right?" Tifa pressed, making the skinny teen grin.

"Yup." Jayden replied easily, "Pack mentality."

* * *

(1) Popularity Date - when a guy goes out with a girl to increase his popularity status around school. The girl's on the short list are mildly cute girls, then the atheletic types such as girls on basketbal, lacross etc., followed by very cute girls and rounded off by the one unobtainable campus hot chick.

* * *

(A/N: Remnants, AVALANCHE and Turks collide once more. But this time the attack is planned and Jayden is a good distance away. Will she be dragged to Edge this time around? Or will her adventures end here? R&R!) 


	19. Two Steps Forward

(A/N: Hi all! Just a warning in advance, there is a major plot twist in this chapter, not too mention, towards the end, it grows obscenely serious and dark. So if all of you are cool with that, read on!)

* * *

Loz heard the sound of shuffling behind hand and a quick glance behind him let him know that both Yazoo and Kadaj were waking up. 

Both were groaning irritably and rubbing their ears, meaning that what had happened to Loz had undoubtedly happened to the two of them in their sleep.

"Urgh…what time is it?" Yazoo muttered irritably, hands never leaving the sides of his head as he consistently massaged the area around the shell of his ear to ease the pain.

"Who **_cares_** about **tha**-_owowow!_" Kadaj hissed, instantly regretting raising his voice even slightly as pain speared through his eardrums and sliced its way into his brain.

Loz didn't dare to say anything until his brothers managed to adjust to the sound level.

"According to what the timepiece on that building says, it's 11:43 P.M." Loz said helpfully, indicating a skyscraper across the street, whose electronic clock face read 11:43 PM before switching over to the temperature and date details.

"Thanks a **_heap_**." Yazoo spat, wincing slightly as he hesitantly moved his palms away from the sides of his head.

"Damn that little brat." Kadaj hissed at the memory of the previous night, the childish face of the short, scrawny teenager burning a hole in his mind, eyes flashing from the recolection of her ducking down hands compressed fiercely against her head as a wave of sound exploded from the speaker just behind her, " She set us up."

Yazoo also appeared to be on the same page as his younger brother, his eyes glinting dangerously as all his energy was focused on the memory of the skinny nymph of a girl as she darted her way towards the exit.

"She must know something." Yazoo murmured evenly, a smirk twisting his lips, "Why else would that wretch out such effort into absconding from us? Or choose dismemberment over divulging information? Even if it were a lie?"

"Maybe you just scared her." Loz said idly, watching a pair of birds flit about and finally come in for a landing on a tree branch beneath the ledge he leaned against, "I mean, you **did** threaten her with a katana, big brother."

Kadaj and Yazoo exchanged a look, then shot piercing scowls at the middle Remnant's back, making the hulking fragment of human consciousness made solid cringe hard for a moment…until he forced himself to focus on the lil-biddy burdies and drifted off to his Happy Place again.

"So…do you think we should check in on what Big Brother is doing?" Kadaj asked coolly, a frightening intensity to his words.

"Sounds like good idea." Yazoo replied easily, not noticing or caring about the frown that appeared on Loz.

He didn't want to chase after Cloud. Loz wanted to stay and watch the birds. The birds didn't judge him. The birds didn't call him names or think he was stupid; they didn't have the brain capacity…and if the birds ever backsassed him, he could just kill them.

But Loz knew that Kadaj's word was law. After all, Yazoo went along with whatever ruthless ideas his younger sibling had in mind. Different strokes for different folks he supposed.

Loz sighed as Kadaj and Yazoo rose to their feet, stretching the kinks out of their limbs and spine with relative ease. He knew what was coming next.

"Come. Mother won't find herself…now will she?" Kadaj said smoothly, leaping off the roof and to the next building, Yazoo hot on his heels…much to Loz's chagrin.

He shot the twittering birds beneath him one last wistful glance, wondering how much his presence would truly be missed if he happened to lag behind this time around.

"Loz, what **_are_** you doing?" Yazoo drawled out mordantly, not even turning around, "Pick up the pace or I will be forced to drag you along by your end trails."

Thus, it was with a heavy heart, Loz bid his feathered-friends farewell before following after his siblings.

* * *

"Alright. Everybody clear on what to do?" Cloud asked, adjusting the Buster Sword on his back after a last minute planning session. 

"Yeah. After last night there is no doubt the Remnants will seek us out." Tifa said listlessly, fingering the edging of her glove.

"Mm-hm." Barrett nodded, absently fingering his prosthetic with his good hand, "All that's left is for those foo's t' get here."

Rufus Shinra had laid out the groundwork for this plan…with a few details here and there by Jayden where it was needed.

Where was Jayden currently? She was a good distance away…in Mischa's apartment. So where did that leave the AVALANCHE resistance and the Turks? In the cemetery…a good distance away from Dante Schwartz's headstone.

Jayden told them she didn't care about the other.headstones, but if they damaged her Daddy's, they would be paying the money it would take to repair it...which while something Tifa could understand, was something Rufus could not - but then again, he didn't exactly love his old man, so...

They had gone over the scenarios of what had occurred in previous encounters with the Remnants and vast ammounts of energy seemed to a be a constant in each case, so Vincent devised a theory – a huge clash of opposing energy forming a rift of some sort between that continually slingshotted them back and forth between Gaia and this world..

And after they had a theory everyone accepted, it was easy to plot out how they were going to return to Gaia. How they were going to repair the damage done to their own world upon their return…well…as Reno put it so eloquently, he always did prefer flyin' by th' seat of his pants.

After they were out of Jayden's world, everyone was in agreement that they were going to play it by ear.

They were also in agreement that Rufus was to find a new hiding place for JENOVA's head upon touchdown in edge. The fact that the Remnants had accosted him exactly as the script Jayden had presented them said they would meant that it was no longer safe in the ShinRa building.

…**_annnnnd_**, if they constantly changed the location of JENOVA's remains, the odds of them ever being found by the Remnants were nil.

"Well speak of the devil." Cid snickered, spinning Venus Gospel over his head as three streaking black blurs appeared in the distance, darting from roof to roof. If it wasn't the Remnants, then MJ was severely off course for his next video shoot...and needed to think about dying his hair again sometime soon.

"The certainly took their time." Elena remarked crisply wasting no time in drawing a bead on the closest approaching figure.

In a flash, the black figures abandoned the rooftops and shot straight towards the lone figures in the cemetery, who remained stationary as per their game plan (no pun intended)

Soon, the mocking face of Kadaj loomed into view, as well as the calculating stare of Yazoo and the somewhat enervated gaze of Loz.

"Twenty…fifteen…ten…" Vincent muttered, fingertips brushing antsilly against the grip of Cerberus as he counted aloud the meters between the Remnants and themselves.

"This time, no slips will be allowed." Tseng ground out, making Reno groan loudly and roll his eyes.

"We **know**, we **_know!_**" the flame head snorted, tapping the EMG on his shoulder impatiently, shifting his weight as the Remnants drew closer, "We've been over this a-!"

"-zillion times?" Rude finished, cracking his knuckles loudly now that the Remnants were within spitting distance, "You can complain later man."

"Yeah. We have bigger problems." Yuffie declared with a rowdy whoop, ripping the Giant Shuriken off her back and bouncing on the balls of her feet.

It was time. Both sides were within ten feet of each other and the Remnants were showing no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

In a single flash of movement, both sides struck. There was a blazing flash of energy that was impossibly bright, unfeasibly hot…and then it vanished.

* * *

"Nnn…uh-**what?** **_This is _impossible!**" Rufus sputtered, rubbing his sore eyes to rid them of the spots, "It was **_fool_** proof! This **has** to be a mistake!" 

One by one, the members of the Turks and AVALANCHE rose off the soft carpet of grass…to find that while they were still in the cemetery, the Remnants were no where in sight!

"Where did we go wrong?" Tifa wondered aloud, looking totally dumbfounded as to the reason why she was not currently back in Edge, in Seventh Heaven, getting ready to open for business.

"**_OH!_** I know!" Yuffie cried, palming her fist, "RedXIII! Cait Sith, Marlene and Denzel are still at Jayden's house! We can't go back without **them**! This world wont let us!"

"This world...won't let us...Maybe, but then…where th' _**fuck'd**_ they go?" Cid wanted to know, sweeping his spear arm around the cemetery, vacant with the exception of themselves.

"Perhaps…well, even though all of our number were not present, all three Remnants were. Maybe they went back to Gaia." Elena said ominously, looking slightly afraid, "And if that is the case, we'd best retrieve those children and come up with another paln to return to our world."

There was a moment of silence…and staring…followed by an eleven person nod, seconds before the entire allied party took off in a flurry of running that no human being could ever hope to keep up with.

About an hour later, they reached the Schwartz residence, barging inside without so much as a knock.

Marlene, while overjoyed to see her adoptive father, had to wonder what was wrong, what with him sportin' sucha scary look on his mug.

Denzel while drowsy with fever was happy to see his adoptive mother…unfortunately he was too sleepy to walk over to give her a hug so he let Tifa do that herself.

RedXIII and Cait Sith were just thankful to see the group because it meant that they didn't have to pretend to be stuffed…of mechanical anymore (_STOP LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY CAIT SITH!_)

Without so much as a word to Mikayla or Kyle, the Turks and AVALANCHE resistance evacuated the premises.

"Daddy? What's going on?" Marlene wanted to know, eyes darting from person to person in her quest for answers.

Denzel had fallen asleep on Tifa's back and was in no position to ask any questions…at all.

"Well, it's like this…we-!" Cloud was interrupted abruptly by Reno, "-have no idea how were getting back home."

"Wh-what?" Marlene whimpered, eyes becoming as large as dinner plates as both Tseng and Rude moved in to smack Reno across the back of the head…of course since this has become common practice, he sensed it coming and dodged aside.

"Are you serious?" Cait Sith squawked, jaw dropping onto RedXIII's back…and since he's all mechanical and crap, it hurt just a smoodge so needless to say RedXIII had every right to growl at the mecha–kitty like he did.

"Well, if we think about it logically, it's been enormous amounts of conflicting energy." Rufus said, a lot calmer now, "Perhaps…perhaps if we attack one another…at full force…"

There was a long silence. Turks stared at the resistance they had come to know as tentative allies, AVALANCHE stared at the ShinRa lackeys they had come to know as unsure partners.

"Are we in agreement?" Cloud muttered under his breath, fingers tense around the hilt of the Buster Sword on his back.

One by one, everyone nodded and the children were shuffled to the sidelines with Cait Sith and RedXIII for their own safety.

They broke ranks, dividing into their usual groupings, staring each other down with an air of tension so thick you could scoop it into a cup and suck it up through a straw.

"On three." Elena said, licking her lips, knuckles white around the handle of her gun, finger's itching to fire off the rounds in the clip to get this over with.

"One…" Cid, said slowly, spinning Venus Gospel over his head.

"Two…" Rude mumbled, muscles in his biceps twitching.

"**_THREE!_**"

* * *

To everyone's sheer delight, the explosion of light that had shown its face during every attack with the Remnants did so again, more intense and brilliant than ever. 

Just as soon as it had appeared, it vanished, like every time before. But this time, what met their eyes was not the devastating disappointment of seeing that their efforts had failed, but instead…

"Oh my lord…" Tifa gasped, staring out at the barren wasteland. They had managed to land themselves on the edge of a cliff. But that wasn't what was so disturbing.

What was really making their stomach's churn was the skeletal leftovers of what used to be a city…a fairly large city. It was, or had been, enormous. Now, it looked as though some gigantic beast had swooped down from the sky and started ripping huge holes from each building.

Scorch marchs tattooed the buildings and the only glass in the windows was broken shards that desperately clung to the frame.

"Did we…land where Midgar used t'…" Barret trailed off, eyes locked on the ruins of the city.

Luckily for them, fate wasn't about to let them sit on their heels long enough for Emo Cloud come out to play. No, what fate had in store was a hailstorm of feather-tailed arrows, all sailing directly at them from the inner most fathoms of a cave they had managed to over look in their shock at the devastated city.

With some quick sharp shooting an a swipe of the Buster Sword, the arrows were quickly deflected and the assailant emerged from the cave. the attacker turned out to be a a rather slight, petite woman who by all appearances couldn't have been older than nineteen.

"**_Who goes there?_**" the woman snarled fiercely, reloading her obviously handmade bow instantaneously with another arrow.

Long, mouse-brown hair fell to the backs of her knees in a pair of tight braids, lengthy bangs covering the entire left side of her face and her entire mane was woven with feathers and beads.

She was dressed in a fashion none of the members of AVALANCHE or the Turks were familiar with, but both parties were certain the beaded dress she wore, as well as the leggings underneath it and crude boots on her feet were forged from tanned animal hide.

The look obvious in the one wolfish blue eye that wasn't concealed with hair was one of deep mistrust and circumspection.

And even though half her face was covered, albeit had aged, if only slightly, they had definitely seen this woman before.

"Jayden?" Reno gaped, shocked at the overall transformation of the laid back teen. She had gone from mellow to psycho in seemingly the space of two hours.

At the sound of the name, the nineteen year old allowed the bow and arrow to fall to her side, her mouth forming an 'o' of surprise.

"Re…no?" she murmured, the visible eye blurring with tears, lower lip quivering, "Vince…Vincent…there's just no way…is it really you?"

Jayden rushed forward and gripped Cloud in a tight hug, trembling violently and pulling away after a few moments, moving to RedXIII to hesitantly brush the top of his head with her fingers.

She slumped back against the lip of the cave, head falling into her hand.

"_Real_…" she whispered, hiding the right side of her face with her free hand as her body convulsed slightly in dry sobs, "…_your real_…_real_…"

"What happened to you?" Yuffie gawked, noting on closer inspection, the crest of a scar attempting to bridge across the overwrought woman's nose to reach the gold stud on the other side.

"_Two years_…" Jayden whispered harshly, not making any attempt to answer the question, or any effort to move, apparently out of fear they might vanish, "_Two_…_years_…"

"Jayden…what is this place?" Vincent asked, holding his tone steady as the woman before him loosed a very short, abrasive laugh.

"Not where…when." Jayden said coldly, switching the hair on the left side of her face aside, drawing gasps from Yuffie, Marlene and Elena and making almost everyone else present cringe in disgust.

Her left eye was gone, ripped entirely out of the socket and replaced with pale, tough scar tissue. Thick ropey disfigurements tore their way across her neck, cheek and faded at the bridge of her nose…claw tracks.

"Welcome home boys and girls." She spat bitterly, gesturing to the barren wasteland around them, "Welcome back to Edge…or what's left of it. AVALANCHE…the Turks…hope…all of that vanished from Gaia two years ago."

* * *

(A/N: Jayden fills the group in on what's happened in Gaia the last two years...and leads them to the new location of JENOVA's head. The Remnants Terrorize and act all Remnant-y and blah-blah-blah. R&R!) 


	20. Under The Sea, Err Lake

(A/N: Hey all! How'd you all like my plot twist? Pretty sweet, huh? Ahhhh, I'm so fulluh myself. Anyhoo, here's the next chappie. Enjoy it!)

* * *

"How did that happen?" Marlene asked sometime later, now that they were out of the open and deep in the belly of the cave. 

The child was referring of course, to the missing half of Jayden's face. Denzel was awake by this point and had asked the question all boys of his age ask about impressive bodily injuries:

"Can I touch it?" causing Tifa to look slightly disgusted when Jayden smiled wryly and brushed aside her hair to allow the boy to do just that.

Several of the men of both AVALANCHE and the Turks had even looked slightly jealous...but then again, all men are just oversized boys with biceps...and _**deeee**_licious six packs.

While Denzel was having his fun feeling up her neck and facial disfigurements, Jayden had retrieved a bit of fur from a beaded animal skin satchel hanging at her hip.

"To answer your question, darlin', the Remnants happened to me." she said wanly as Denzel, looking satisfied, retracted his hand and curled up in Cloud's lap, "Or to be more specific, their **pets** happened when I was retrieving JENOVA's head."

In a swift motion, the fur in her hand had been slipped under Jayden's long bangs and tied securely around her head, hiding the horrific scarring on the left side of her face.

"I wasn't expecting visitors for another day or so or I would have bothered to put this on." she shrugged, fingering the fur's ratted edge, ignoring the looks she had stirred up at the word JENOVA, "The Remnants usually force me to relocate every three or four days, but no matter."

"You...you knew the original location of JENOVA?" Rufus asked, looking as though the nineteen year old had just announced that she planned to pay a couple of convicted sex offenders to molest him, "Surely you jest."

"_Pfft_...you forget, I may not have been exactly proud of it, but I **was** a gamer..._**and**_ a fangirl." Jayden replied, grinning broadly, "Seriously man - second drawer on the right? You're such an anal retentive perfectionist that it wasn't all that hard to figure out."

"But how did you manage to infiltrate ShinRa?" Vincent wanted to know. He was a former Turk. Even if they were hell bent on restoring the proper order of things now, Vincent knew better than anyone that ShinRa security was tighter than a crab's ass.

"They were too busy dealing with Yazoo to notice me ambling in." Jayden shrugged, loosing a heavy sigh, "And while I'm happy to say the greater portion of Edge escaped into the catacombs beneath the city...the ones who lagged behind were taken out by the BahamutSIN. _Ahhh_…C'Est La Vie."

"So the Remnants **are** here?" Tseng pressed, moving in so quickly that the front of his jacket was nearly set ablaze on the small fire between himself and the skinny nineteen year old.

"Oh **_nooo_**, they're on vacation in Junon." Jayden snorted, rolling her eye sardonically, and resting her chin in her hand, "Yes, Tseng. They're here. Just like I've been here for the past two years."

"And JENOVA'S head?" Cloud asked, shifting Denzel in his lap so the dozing boy would be more comfortable before looking back up at the malformed woman, "Where is it now? Did the Remnants manage to obtain it?"

Jayden shot a very flat, petulant look his way and folded both arms over her chest.

"Do you really think I lost half my face just to let them get their hands on JENOVA, Chocobohead?" she said, obviously annoyed, "The Remains are in a stationary location. The dummy plug Rufus created, I move five or six times a month to throw them off."

"Would mind too terribly leading us to the location of JENOVA's head?" Rufus asked, lacing his fingers together, "In all seriousness, the safety of Edge's survivors should be our top priority and-!"

Jayden held up a hand to silence the ShinRa president.

"I'll do it." She said evenly, rising to her feet and striding to the mouth of the cave, "But we'll have to wait until nightfall…and I can only take one of you."

"Why is that?" Yuffie asked, rising up on her knee and tossing a very suspicious look Jayden's way, "Why just one? Why can't it be all of us?"

"Think about it logically." Tifa interjected, still trying to bar the image of her adopted child feeling up the ropey scars on Jayden's face, "What's more likely to be noticed - a large group traveling by day? Or two people roaming at night?

"The lady has a point." Reno smirked, casually fishing a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, shaking one loose and lighting it on the campfire, inhaling a deep lungful of cancer causing smoke before releasing it into the cave.

"In all honesty, who here has the best night vision?" Jayden asked flat out, not beating around the bush as she returned from the mouth of the cave, "I want to decide who's coming with me now so there aren't any arguments later."

"If y' want my opinion, 's probably Vincent." Cid said, jerking his thumb at the red caped immortal, who twitched slightly at being dragged into center stage and sank down into his seat.

"Yeah, not to dredge up bad memories, but since he's amalgamated with Chaos, his night vision is probably better than ours." Elena said thoughtfully, "Even with the shine job we Turks receive, it probably wouldn't compare."

"Alright then." Jayden said easily, sitting back down by the fire, "Vincent? We leave at night fall."

"That's just peachy, but what's a brother godda do t' get s'me **_food_** round here?" Barrett asked loudly.

Jayden looked at him blandly, shifting her bow hand slightly.

"If you're hungry, find your meal." Jayden said curtly, "Kill your meal, thank the spirits for aiding you in finding a meal and use every last part of whatever you slay."

"Isn't that slightly excessive?" Cloud asked carefully, only to be met with a small, tired smile at the question.

"I am of the Blackfoot." She sighed, not noticing the strange looks she received (they were all probably thinking, _"…she has black feet...foot rot maybe?"_) "Those are simply the traditions my people lived by. It's is only because my Grandfather beat the ways of our people into me year after year that I've survived as long as I have."

* * *

"It's been so long." Kadaj said irritably, eyes flashing in visible frustration, "One year? **Two?** And **_still_** no sign of Mother! All because that **little** **wretch** managed to somehow _**wriggle**_ her way free of BahamutSIN's clutches!" 

"I still think she had to have outside assistance." Yazoo commented drably, kicking debris into the air just so it could be shot into even more miniscule bits of rubble, "You saw how much blood that insignificant flesh pile lost. She was halfway gone. She couldn't have escaped on her own power."

Kadaj was pacing frenetically back and forth, tapping the Souba in rapid succession against his shoulder to alleviate the tension that had been steadily building over the past two years.

"Yes, one moment her head was in the jaws of BahamutSIN…then she pulls a vanishing act." Yazoo muttered coolly, fingering the trigger of Velvet Nightmare absentmindedly, "I swear to Holy that there was another person there."

"And **I** keep telling you, the _**only**_ people in the area at the time were you, Loz, myself and that **stupid** **wench** who got herself chomped." Kadaj snapped bitingly, not pausing the constant pacing even for this little outburst, "You saw for youself how many it took out. I doubt any of them survived, save for the siblings we gathered...not that they've been much **_use_**."

Loz wasn't with the brooding pair as he had gone out on his own to scout for Mother. He was a bit irked with the pair of them at the moment…as Kadaj had used him as a human shield not long ago so an arrow had lodged itself in his jaw.

The mark was taking its time fading too, much to Loz's displeasure. He didn't see what gave Kadaj the right to do that, either. If he remembered correctly, not only was Loz older than Kadaj, but he was stronger than the slight man as well.

The only reason Kadaj was leader at all was because Yazoo sided with him at all times…and the only reason Yazoo did that, at least in Loz's own personal opinion, was to get under his skin.

The more Loz thought about it, the more upset he became. He was nearly in tears as the full weight of the situation began to press down on his shoulders.

Every time he found a lead and they came close to finding Mother, that brat would somehow receive a tip off and move her again…and **again**…and **_again!_**

Just as he was about to sit down on a nearby boulder and have his monthly break down (…what is he, a woman?) the cell phone in his back pocket went off, meaning his sobfest was going to have to wait.

For all the grief they gave him, both Kadaj and Yazoo chastised Loz, and sometimes, on very rare occasions one another, for missing their preset curfew…and they only had a curfew because the BahamutSIN Kadaj had summoned seemed to get even more active at night and, if it was possible, disobedient – ignoring all of Kadaj's commands.

While rare to see any sign of affection from either sibling, he knew the curfew they enforced was one way they showed it…a very…**very**…**_verrrrrrrrrry_** insipid way of going about showing they cared, but they were trying…kinda.

Loz wasn't looking forward to returning today either. He hadn't found any tip-offs that would lead he and his brothers in the right direction so Loz prepped himself mentally for a tongue-lashing.

They would probably use the classics - that he was ignorant, dull-witted, that his hairdo resembled a bird's hindquarters, etc. but it was nothing Loz wasn't used to so he readied himself to grit his teeth and bear it.

* * *

Vincent had no trouble keeping up to Jayden's fast paced lope…well…to **her** it was fast paced, to Vincent, it was holding him up. The two had left the safety of the cave about two hours prior to trek to the location of JENOVA's head. 

However, Rufus, not wanting himself and the other's to be left out of the experience, had planted a camera and microphone (about the size of a needle tip) on Vincent's cape, not that Vincent was aware of this.

It was pitch black out and the moon hung high overhead, obstructed by clouds and the skeletal branches of dead trees. The only sounds were the noise of nocturnal creatures rising from their slumber and the rustling of dead leaves as Jayden and Vincent swiftly made their way through the forest.

The scenery was so engrossing that the immortal man nearly collided with Jayden's back, not that he was at fault as the woman has stopped short in the middle of the path.

She raised a finger to her lips in an unnecessary gesture asking him to be quiet as she stooped down and lifted a large section of dirt up and away from the ground with her fingers; a trapdoor.

"I fell through this in my early days here." Jayden whispered, motioning for Vincent climb inside the narrow space, "It leads to an underground cavern and lake."

Vincent peered inside the hole and saw no ladder of any kind and so, leapt inside, hoping that it wasn't to far a descent. Jayden followed swiftly after him, closing the dirt cap after them, leaving them in total darkness. Not that it mattered much as Vincent could see perfectly well.

Vincent hit the stone floor and moved aside quickly so Jayden wouldn't land on top of him. There was a soft -_thmp_-, followed by the sound of footsteps, signifying to Vincent she had landed safely.

The cave then was awash with light, crystals lining the floor and ceiling having hummed to life at human contact. And of course by human contact, I mean Jayden hit the main one near the underground lake.

"How did you manage to survive such a terrible injury?" Vincent asked quietly as Jayden began wading out into the water, "Did the Cetra…did Aerith assist you?"

"No…she offered me no help." Jayden said with smile in her voice, "I'm…I'm pretty sure my father saved me."

"Your father?" Vincent blinked, knowing that just couldn't be possible as he had visited the man's grave himself, "But h-"

"How should I know?" Jayden shrugged, reaching under the fur to touch the empty socket, closed over with scar tissue, that used to house her eye, "Things are a lot more spiritual here than in my own world. All I know for certain is I saw the BahamutSIN swoop down on me, felt this searing pain on the side my head..."

She paused and looked very peaceful for a moment.

"...and then I was in the white place again." she murmured with a sigh, ignoring the look of bewilderment in Vincent's eyes that didn't reach his face, "When I came to, my face was bandaged, I was miles from Edge and I still had JENOVA in a white knuckled grip."

"Jayden...what do you mean by...white place?" Vincent asked, growing steadily more perplexed as Jayden grinned at him, waded out of the water and grabbed him by the wrist.

"Less talkie, more walkie." She said brightly, tugging him into the icy water, "We have a long way to go. Lucky for you there's about five air pocket's along the way."

* * *

Vincent replayed Jayden's words again in his mind. Long way? **_Air_** pockets? Just what exactly had Cid signed him up for? 

Not oblivious to the look on his face, Jayden cracked a smile and punched the gothic man lightly on the chest.

"Relaaaaaax." She smirked, now up to her waist in the water, "I knew from past experience how persistent those Remnants could be, so I hid JENOVA's head in a place where only I could reach it. But you have an added edge, even if it is a curse. Now come on."

Jayden gave Vincent's good hand a squeeze and took a deep breath before diving underwater, the gunslinger matching her pace easily alongside her.

The cold was mild, almost warm now that Vincent's body adjusted, and the constant pressure around his hand reassured him that nothing had happened thus far to the scrawny girl flanking him.

It was quick going, decidedly easy in Vincent's opinion, but that judgment was slowly beginning to alter as the stress around his lungs continued to build.

Finally, he couldn't hold his breath anymore and released it in a single stream of bubbles…that Jayden quickly noticed.

Vincent felt a violent jerk race through his bicep and shoulder socket as the petite woman surged forward and pulled him along for the ride. Up, up, UP and then the sweet cold slap that was oxygen hit Vincent across the face as Jayden pulled him into one of the air pockets she spoke of.

"**_Y'alright?_**" Jayden asked worriedly, hand on the top of the very small air pocket as she treaded water, "Y'shoulda **tapped** me! I wouldn't have **_bypassed_** the **first** airpocket!"

"Y…you passed it?" Vincent rasped, inhaling lungful after lungful of air, treasuring the element like never before.

"Well, I just figured you'd be **_okay_**, what with you being** you!**" Jayden snapped, looking a mixture of mortified and concerned, "…y'okay now?"

Vincent chose to wait until after his heart stopped beating in his esophagus to nod.

"Alright, lets go then." Jayden said, grabbing his hand again before going under again.

* * *

AUTHORESS'S NOTE 

Last chapter, you'll remember I went into detail describing the outfit, hairstyle, ornanmentaion and weaponry Jayden now wore and carried. This is because that although she is not a self-insertion character, I wanted to put just a little part of myself into this fic. I did so in Jayden's geneology.

In chapter 12, I mentioned her Opa _-grandfather-_ and Abuela _-grandmother-_. These are her father Dante's parents. His father is German and his mother is Spanish.

Mikayla's parent's are English (mother) and Blackfoot Indian (father).

This makes Jayden, like myself, 1/4 native american. Something I take great pride in.

* * *

(A/N: JENOVA's head is retrieved. Aerith comes forward, possibly to offer up an explaination to the plotline gone awry. More fun with the Remnants. R&R!) 


	21. And The Reason Is

(A/N: Hey all. Slightly disheartened by the lack of reviews last chapter, but oh well. Maybe I just post'm faster than you guys can keep up...I dunno. But as always, I press on, few reviews, or no reviews. And now my peeps, READ ON!)

* * *

"…even the **_Bloodhounds_** have more sense than **you!**" Kadaj said in a tone nothing short of demeaning, "How could you find **_nothing_** after **twelve hours** of searching with our **_siblings_** aiding you? I **swear** you are just **_so_** useless." 

Yazoo was choosing not to join Kadaj in berating Loz and was sitting back comfortably on his laurels, drinking in the scene before him.

The elder Remnant, while giving off the air of a doormat in the way he allowed Kadaj order him around, was actually the most cunning by far.

As such, he was able to read people quite easily and took great enjoyment of watching people. Take Loz for example – he had observed him over the last two years with great interest, taking in the looks of childish obedience and defiance.

Which is why Yazoo knew that Loz was only seconds away from exploding if Kadaj continued in the manner of a coffee hyped business man who was just informed his stock fell…which it appeared he would.

Yazoo had waited for this for a long time. He wondered what the outburst itself would look like. If it would end with Loz crying like a teenage girl or if it would end with Kadaj on the receiving end of a leather bound fist and a newfound respect for his elder brother.

It wouldn't be much longer. Yazoo could tell. Loz's fists were clenched in such tight fists that veins were visible through the gloves and…if he wasn't mistaken, that was most definitely blood he smelled.

There was also the added fact that a large artery was pulsing violently in Loz's temple, his eyes were squeezed shut and he was gnashing his teeth together in an attempt to hold his temper.

_"T-minus ten seconds in counting."_ Yazoo mused with a smirk, _"Nine, eight, seven, six, five four, three, two…"_

"…and can't you stand up **_straight?_**" Kadaj said irritably as Loz's eyes flew open and he sent a fist crashing into Kadaj's bony cheek.

_"One."_ Yazoo snickered to himself, watching with amusement as Kadaj picked himself off the ground, looking absolutely bewildered at the blood running down his chin.

"**THAT'S _IT!_**" Loz bellowed, storming over to his younger brother until he loomed over him intimidatingly, "**I! HAVE_ HAD!_ ENOUGH OF _YOU!_ I AM YOUR _OLDER_ BROTHER AND I _DEMAND_ THAT YOU TREAT ME WITH RESPECT GOD_DAMN_IT! OR SO HELP ME _HOLY_ I'LL BEAT YOUR _SKINNY_ _ASS_ INTO LAST _YEAR!_ DO YOU _HEAR_ ME?**"

Kadaj nodded slowly, not moving from where Loz had sent him.

"**_Good!_**" Loz barked, storming away from him, "I'll go along with your plans Kadaj, **lord** knows your better at strategizing than me, but you **_ever_** toe the line with me again, and I'll send you back to the Lifestream so fast it'll make your **head** spin!"

As he stomped off into a ruined building, Kadaj thought to himself, _"…well it's about time he grew some balls."_

* * *

"We're back." Jayden called into the fathoms of the cave, startling the sleeping CG characters awake. 

Vincent wasn't far behind, the box containing JENOVA's head in his clawed grasp.

"Shee'…whud time izzit?" Cait Sith asked, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"I don't wear watches. They depress me." Jayden shrugged, striding past him to grab a water bucket, "I'll be right back. We're definitely gonna need water tomorrow."

"Why do watches depress you?" Reno yawned, leaning on his elbow to keep his head from hitting his makeshift pillow (wadded up jacket), "Y' always late or something?"

"Bingo." She called over her shoulder, not turning around or slowing her progression out of the cave.

Instead of going back to sleep after this, the Turks and AVALANCHE resistance uncurled themselves from under the animal hide blankets they discovered…okay, Marlene found, piled in the back of the cave, to congregate around Vincent.

"I'll be damned…that's JENOVA alright." Barrett whistled, eyes roaming over the container.

"Its location was…well chosen." Vincent said mildly, inwardly shuddering at the memory of the trip.

Swimming through an underground cavity followed by a two-hour trek across a very narrow, unstable rock path followed by swimming across yet another lake would be enough to deter almost anyone.

"We know." RedXIII said sleepily, shaking himself out and stretching, "We were watching for a little while."

"…is that so?" Vincent asked, eyes narrowing, having a vague idea who planted the camera on him, not that it mattered now.

"Yeah, but ont' other things. Like what we're gonna do 'bout you-know who." Cid said pointedly, "I mean, what if after all is said an' done and she's stuck here?"

"No…no. I know I don't belong in Gaia." Jayden said with a snort, scratching her right temple as she re-entered the cave, "Aerith made that fact **_very_** clear on my first trip here."

"You – you've spoken to Aerith?" Cloud barked, head snapping up from his sleep deprived stupor, "Why didn't you tell us? What did she say?"

"Because I knew you'd bust your balls over it **that's why**, Emo Boy." Jayden retorted irritably, "Besides, if you'll recall, the first time I was here, I wasn't exactly in the best shape. I dismissed it as a fever dream…until the sixth time around."

"So what did she say?" Cloud demanded, abandoning the idea of slumber entirely and crossing the cave to stare the disfigured woman down.

"Just that I didn't belong here." Jayden said calmly, holding Cloud's piercing stare evenly, "That's all she said each time we met in the White Place."

"White…Place?" Cloud asked slowly, looking bewildered at the name, causing the nineteen year old to merely shrug and switching herself around so her back was to him.

"What would you call a place where everything was all white and glowy?" Jayden asked blandly, "'sides, she was just parroting what I already know!"

She stared at the ceiling irritably, shifting her weight slightly as the load of the water bucket in her hand was beginning to stress her shoulder joint.

"**Y'hear that Flower Girl? Y'_could_ offer me a bit more _insight!_**" Jayden said loudly at the stone roof, "**How'm I s'posda _'not be here'_ if you don't _tell_ _me_ what I hafta do to _leave?_**"

By this point, she knew everyone in the cave had to be staring at her like she was seriously lacking in gray matter. So she closed her eye and loosed a tired sigh, turning on her heel to hang the bucket over the still smoldering fire to boil away impurities.

"Is it really so irksome, otherworlder?" a vaguely familiar female voice asked from only inches away.

Jayden's remaining eye opened slowly, staring at the floor, not really wanting to see who was in front of her, but human curiosity eventually won out over fear as her head slowly inclined upward.

Aerith Gainsborough stood about half a foot off the floor, glowing faintly, smiling slightly and leaning forward with her weight…if spirits have weight…pressed on her knees, she herself only about half an inch away from Jayden's face.

Jayden had two impulses at that moment: 1) to have a total spaz attack, scream and hurl the water bucket in her hand skyward, which would inevitably mean her trudging back out to the river to get more; 2) to walk around the ghost woman, hang up the pail to boil, then walk back over to her, arms akimbo and ask her what the fuck took her so long.

* * *

Jayden opted for option one, loosed a short shrieked and lobbed the bucket over her head, which landed with a loud splash and clunk. By Rufus's loud indignant yelp and Tifa's infuriated shriek, they had just taken an unwanted shower. 

Aertith just chuckled lightly as Jayden scrabbled away from her. Over the initial shock of being drenched, Tifa and Rufus joined Cloud and the rest of the assembled parties in gaping at the Cetra.

"Why so skittish?" Aerith's asked innocently, a loosely amused smile dancing on her lips, "You appeared so confident moments before when you were carping on my actions."

Jayden, who up til that moment had been trying to restart her heart as it had momentarily gone into cardiac arrest at the sight of Aerith…dead Aerith…consciousness of the Lifestream Aerith…appearing before Jayden in all her glowing ghostly glory, growled irritably and looked at the spirit, annoyance lining her entire face.

"**_Whyyyyyyy_** do you people **always** insist on popping _**up**_ like **that?**" Jayden snapped, looking more than slightly pissed, "What if it hadn't been a water pail in my hands, huh, oh omnipotent one? What if I had been stoking the fire and had a piece of burning wood in my hands?"

That last remark made Rufus double check where that water had landed, and envisioned a scenario involving a very valued...assest that would probably haunt his dreams for the next week or so.

Aerith expression shifted to a rather sheepish grin, "I apologize. I just thought the dramatic effect was needed. You were being awfully disrespectful after all."

"Oh, _fuck me_." Jayden moaned, head dropping into her arms exasperatedly, "…this is too much." She lifted her face enough to peer up at the spectral Aerith from the corner of her eye cautiously, "Well…I suppose what's important is the fact that you're **here** now."

"Yes, watching you fight for Gaia's continued existence, while inspiring, has grown a bit trite." Aerith said, finally becoming serious, "I suppose I should begin by explaining why the world is in such a befuddled state."

"That would be a good place to start." Elena said shakily, eyeing Aerith warily, hand wrapped subconsciously around the handle of her gun as though it could save her from the specter in the event it decided eating their brains was a good idea.

"What you first must understand is that Gaia is a parallel world." Aerith said easily, holding her hands parallel to each other as she spoke, "And its correspondent is Jayden's."

"I…I guess that makes some sense." Yuffie said, trying to keep up as best she could, "But that still doesn't explain why everything's so messed **up!** And why we were thrown into her world in the **_first place?_**"

"I'm pretty sure she's comin' to that." Reno drawled casually, lighting up his second cigarette in two days. Except this time, his hands shook as he attempted to cause the lighter's flame make contact with the cancer stick.

Aerith smiled genially at the Turk in question, nearly making him drop the lit cigarette on his lap and continued.

* * *

"Now, something else you have to factor in is what ever happens in one world will drastically effect what happens in the other." Aerith said, arms folded comfortably across her front, "Like, if one world goes to war, the other may enjoy an extended period of peace and so on." 

"Like if one side of the planet is experiencing daylight, the other is experiencing night." RedXIII said with a nod, "Makes sense to me." Cait Sith purred out sleepily.

"Well, what made things go so far off course was not an event in Gaia…it was in event in your world." Aerith said seriously, turning her green eyes on Jayden, still pressed against a wall, "In fact, it almost directly involves you."

"What **are** you **_talking_** about?" Jayden snapped irritably, switching from irritable to angry, "I don't know **what** the fuck happened to bring them to my world! I don't know why-!"

"Jayden…hear her out." Vincent said in a pacifying tone, eyeing the ghost of Aerith Gainsborough carefully as he spoke.

She twitched…then nodded, knowing better than to mess with a guy who couldn't die. Shifting her weight uncomfortably on the cave floor before looking belligerently at Aerith, who swiftly crossed the cave and squatted down so she was at Jayden's eye level.

"The reason why Gaia is in this state…are you sure you want to know the truth?" she asked quietly, watching carefully as the nineteen year old squirmed at the lack of personal space (just go through her! she aint exactly solid n'more!)

"**_Yes_**. For th' love of all things **great** and **_small_**, just **tell me!**" Jayden snapped, eye flashing in a mixture of aggravation and disconcertion.

"The reason is…because Dante Schwartz died prematurely." Aerith said gravely, closing her eyes so she wouldn't have to see the look of shock and pain wash over Jayden's face, "The one who caused his accident…it was his time to go, but…"

Aerith's semi-lucent hand hovered over the nineteen-year olds, unable to make any real contact, "I am very sorry, but if this offers any clarity as to why-"

"…so he died…pointlessly…and contributed to the destruction of a world?" Jayden asked, looking as though she'd been slapped as she searched the Lifestream Spirit's face for any semblance of hope, "What am I s'posda do with that knowledge?"

"Isn't there anything we can do to rectify this? Anything at all?" Tifa begged the shade of her friend and ally.

"Yes. There is." Aerith said calmly, before an infinitesimal coquettish smile appeared on her lips, "But if I told you, that might disrupt things further don't you think? I think it might be better if you figure it out for yourselves, hm?"

"**What?**" Marlene sputtered, looking very confused as to the sudden change of heart, "But sister, why wont you-?"

"We wouldn't want you all becoming to reliant on me…now would we? I already have too many overgrown children to deal with." Aerith smiled, gaze shifting back to Jayden, "However…"

She crossed the room again and reached under the fur covering the scarring on her face.

"I might be talked into doing something about this, though." Aerith said gently, starting the nineteen year old out of her daze to look at her, "As compensation for all the work you've done towards the restoration thus far."

Jayden looked as though she was considering it, then shook her head slightly.

"Not...right now." She said dully, looking as though she was trying to smile but forgot how to work the muscles of her face, "Wait until I can go home before restoring me…it really doesn't bother me all that much."

"Very well." Aerith replied, raising herself back up to her full height and giving Cloud a fond smile, "You'll be fine. I know it." She said quietly, walking towards the rear of the cave and fading into nothingness as she did so.

* * *

Nobody said a word for a while and after a time, Jayden stumbled to her feet and retrieved the overturned water pail by Rufus's knees. 

"Better get…more water." She mumbled, looking slightly incoherent as she walked out of the cave.

"Someone…should go with her." Tifa said uncomfortably, the silence in the cave making her uneasy as she watched the nineteen year old weaving unsteadily down the cliff path to the river.

No one moved. Cloud stoked the fire idly, Rude coughed into his hand, Rufus started to dry himself off, doing his best to look busy.

Marlene fell back asleep, snuggling up to Denzel, RedXIII and Cait Sith, Barrett began picking at the edge of the tanned skin blanket he'd used.

Still no one made a move.

Elena started to clean her gun to relax her, Reno finished his cigarette and tossed the butt into the fire, making sure it bounced off Cloud's head.

Yuffie began counting materia to herself so she would be able to fall back asleep as Vincent had moments before.

Reno really didn't see what the big deal was. Jayden was just going to get more water. Nothing to it. Nothing remotely dangerous about the act.

The only reason he climbed to his feet now was to take a whiz. He had received a rather vicious beating earlier that evening courtesy of Barrett for exposing himself in front of his adopted daughter.

Hey, could a man help it when he had t' piss? And wasn't like he was holding the girl there and forcing her to look. He had wandered to the back of the cave to…well at any rate, the GunArm had threatened to neuter him if he did his business anywhere near the cave again.

And being very proud of his nine inches, Reno chose to wander down to the woods skirting the base of the cliff to relieve himself.

Suddenly, a rustle came from behind him and he whipped around, and while he didn't have his EMR on his person, he did have his gun, and he was more than ready to unload the clip of his pistol at whoever the unlucky idiot happened to be…only to end up staring down the barrel of Cerberus.

"_What are you _doing_ here?_" Reno hissed, retracting his gun hand and holstering his gun, "_Voyeurism get you _off_ or something?_"

Vincent crinkled his nose slightly at the vulgar remark and slowly withdrew his gun hand, making it pull a Houdini under his cape.

"Hardly." He replied calmly, "Tifa requested I go after Jayden. Were she not preoccupied with Cloud and Denzel, she would have gone herself."

"Huh…" Reno said, finding he couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for the bar maid, inwardly sighing, _"Great. Emo Cloud rides again."_ as he shifted his weight slightly, "Which way is the river?"

Vincent paused, inhaling the air before pointing in the direction that had the dampest scent.

"Well then, I'll leave you to it." Reno said brightly, preparing to return to the cave and X-Rated dreams.

"There is safety in numbers." Vincent said evenly, catching Reno by the back of his shirt before he got very far.

_"Dammitdammitdammit."_ He thought irritably as he walked along, the sound of rushing water reaching his ears, _"I can never catch a break!"_

* * *

(A/N: Jayden isn't taking Aerith's news well and isn't speaking to anyone. In the meantime, AVALANCHE and the Turks come up with plans of their own to make a trip to the Edge Catacombs...probably a good idea as the Remnants have unearthed a lead to their current local. R&R!) 


	22. Chocoborobo!

(A/N: Hey all! Thank you for the positive responses. Taking into consideration what happened last chapter, don't be surprised if Jayden acts a bit...aloof. That being said, READ ON!)

* * *

"There she is. We've found her. Can I **_go_** now?" Reno asked testily after breaking through the line of trees to find Jayden squatting at the edge of the river, staring into the rushing water. 

The bucket, while completely filled now, had been set aside on a particularly flat river rock, forgotten as Jayden remained in her crouched position, looming over the water like a vulture waiting for it's next meal to keel over.

Reno's question was ignored and he was forced forward, dragged along by the collar, towards the hunkered down nineteen-year old.

_"Sheesh, _someone_ developed their daddy-gene early."_ Reno snorted to himself irritably as he came to an abrupt stop behind the deformed woman.

Finally, Vincent released his grip on the back of the red-haired Turk's shirt and placed unsure hands on her shoulders.

Reno did his best to repress a snort. He knew the immortal man was trying, but the from the behavior he had observed Commandeer Anti-Social exhibit in the past, he probably had as much experience dealing with unhappy women as a snowman had dealing with a third degree burn.

_"This'll be interesting."_ Reno smirked, crossing his arms over his front and resting his weight on his hip,_ "What will Gloom and Doom say to cheer her up? That at least it isn't raining fire or that the water isn't running red with blood…yet? Oh brother this is gonna be good."_

And it did appear from the Turk's vantage point that by the look on Vincent's face that he was currently wracking his brain for some words of encouragement. Difficult because from where Reno stood, Vincent was in an almost constant state of depression and self pity.

Really though, this really was more Tifa's area than his so the fact that he simply stood there with his hands on Jayden's thin shoulders in total silence came as no surprise to Reno, whose smirk had transformed itself into a grin.

"I know you mean well, that you're trying to make me feel better…but I'd prefer to be alone right now." Jayden said impassively before Vincent could think of anything to say that could possibly qualify as uplifting, "I just don't want to feel right now…is that alright?"

Much to Reno's amazement, instead of stubbornly insisting she had to get it out of her system, the quiet man merely nodded, appearing that he understood. Vincent gave her shoulders a light squeeze before wordlessly disappearing between the trees, water bucket in hand, leaving Reno in stunned silence and Jayden right where she sat.

_"What th' hell?"_ Reno thought, totally bewildered at what had just transpired between the ex-Turk and the nineteen year old, _"Why did he just – does he expect me to – hoooooo no! I'm not touchin' that with a twenty foot pole."_

He glanced quickly at Jayden's face over his shoulder: it was unreadable. This caused a wave of pure frustration to wash through Reno's veins - was the same…goddamn **_poker_** face that **Rude** always sported. He **_HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATED_** that look. It made him wanna poke at Rude just to get a rise out of him.

At that moment in time, Reno wasn't thinking. Naw, his body moved purely out of habit after seeing that expression. Jayden was asking for it anyway…the way she was sitting…she was in the river before she had a chance to process the fact Reno had pushed her.

Reno knew he probably shouldn't be laughing at that moment…that Jayden had just gone through a huge emotional trauma tied in with the fact that he was gonna hear it from Tseng **AND** Rufus **_AND_** that maternal freak Tifa…but she looked like a drowned cat, so Reno just couldn't help himself.

He prepared himself for retaliation; Rude **ALWAYS** retaliated in these situation. Reno switched himself far enough away so that Jayden couldn't drag him in, but even so, this left him within splash range.

Reno's body was tensed and ready, waiting for the onslaught of screaming and possible splashes…so when all that came was Jayden collecting herself out of the water and went stumbling past him…he felt a vague sense of disappointment – of unfulfillment. The cycle had not been completed.

He did hear an almost inaudible, "Grow up, Reno." as she vanished between the trees. Reno sat down on the riverbed, a deep sense annoyance and incompletion in the pit of his stomach. There was only one way to rid himself of these exasperating feelings…which meant Rude was in trouble.

* * *

Rude shuddered violently, an action that didn't go unnoticed to a certain kunoichi from Wutai with klepto-manic tendencies. 

"What's up Shades?" Yuffie asked brightly, a bit livelier after packing in a two hour power nap. Apparently less than the doctor recommended eight hours doesn't apply to the Gaia. Yes in Gaia, or at least in Wutai it seems, sleep is for the weak.

"I just felt a thrill of fear pass through my very soul." Rude replied, knowing somewhere in the back of his mind that it could only mean that Reno had something particularly heinous planned for him in the near future.

"Well, unless that fear is tied directly into our current plan, I suggest you toughen up." Tseng said shrewdly, a bit more snappish than usual due to lack of sleep. Well I guess that last bit about the Wutai-born requiring little sleep only applies to hyper, kleptomanic kunoichi.

Tifa would have defended Rude in any other circumstance, but at the moment, she was out like a light. She had had it rough that morning. First a bout with Emo Cloud in all his emotionally disturbed glory, and then a round with Fever Dream Denzel before collapsing herself next to the ailing boy.

Cloud himself was also up and about again. You'll note I said '_Cloud'_ as his eebil twin _'Emo Cloud'_ has returned to the recesses of Gaia from whence he came (thank you very much Tifa; we all appreciate your work)

Currently he was working with Tseng on what the best route to the Edge Catacombs would be with out detection. Tseng wanted to leave as early as possibly and was vying to leave by day, whereas Cloud wanted to play it safe and wait for nightfall.

"Traveling by day is too risky!" Cloud argued, shaking his head vehemently, "We would be spotted far too easily!"

"But night holds the risk of nocturnal predators." Tseng retorted, eyes narrowing at the objection, "And there's also the factor of terrain. Many among your number haven't had the shine treatment we Turks have and would be in danger of going over cliffs."

After a brief Mexican stare off and a moment of tense silent, argument was off and running at full steam.

Elena, of course, sided with Tseng. What with him being her supervisor, inspiration, future husband…okay that last bit was only in Elena's fantasies.

You know…the kind where Tseng comes galloping up to her in a meadow of prettiful wildflowers on a white stallion, naked (Elena's fantasy, not mine) The kind of daydreams that are so sugary they rot your teeth? _**Yeeeeeeeeah**_…let's not go there.

Cid and Barrett were of course, Pro-Cloud…even if he could be kinda flaky at times, and instantly sided with him while Rude, reminded of his loyalties to the Turks…about fifty times by Elena, sided with Tseng.

Rufus decided to wisely stay out of this whole mess. He merely stated, "You're all sensible, free thinking adults. I'm sure you can work something out." Before snatching up one of the animal skin blankets, and moving towards the fire for the catnap he had yet to take.

Vincent, after seeing the rift forming, went outside to wait for the storm to pass, taking Marlene, Cait Sith and Red XIII with him. Okay, he didn't so much take RedXIII and Cait Sith so much as they followed after him, but it was for the best. **Someone** had to keep Marlene entertained.

* * *

When Jayden walked into the cave, both parties jumped on her. Asking her which she thought was better, day or night? 

"Night's better **_right?_** No **idiot** would travel by day when they'd get **_spotted!_**" Cid sneered, Elena's face purpling at the shot taken at Tseng's intelligence.

"Yeah, wha' kinda' broke ass cracka travels durin' th' day when the Bahamut're bitin'?" Barrett snorted, Elena now quaking with rage.

"Yeah well if we travel by **day**, we can cover more **_ground!_**" She shot back, eyes flashing, "By **night** those don't have **_night vision_** would be walking **blind!**" (Jayden: ...I resemble that remark ya know)

Rude, while not really leaning one way or another, couldn't help but notice how sharp and pointy Elena's nails were. And so, he nodded vigorously at each one of her comments.

Jayden ignored all the bickering, and went completely unnoticed by the fighting Turks and AVALANCHE resistance members as she waded straight through the squabbling groups, half-heartedly grabbed a blanket and flopping down on her side near the fire, so her back was turned towards Denzel and Tifa.

Yuffie, during all this, had taken the opportunity while it was available to her to start sifting through everyone's things, taking a little bit of everything. She almost died when she came upon a small deposit of Materia in Reno's bag. Unfortunately for her, Reno happened to re-enter the cave right as she was about to take it and shouted:

"**_GET TH' _FUCK_ OUT OF MY _STUFF_ YOU GODDAMN_ KLEPTO!**"

He was so loud, he startled both parties out of their argument as he charged the kunoichi who let out a yelp and skittered away from his things, dropping the satchel of Materia in her hand and scattering the spheres all over the floor.

Denzel's eyes flew open and he began to cry loudly. Tifa was awake instantly (1) and rocking him back and forth, whispering to him reassuringly while simultaneously sending the most **_ferocious_** glare anyone had ever seen on the typically nurturing woman's face at Reno and Yuffie, both of whom were looking very guilty.

"Well children, what do we have to say?" Rufus yawned, also having rudely awakened by the tumult of sound. He had only gotten in about ten minutes, so as you all can well imagine, Rufus wasn't a happy man at this moment in time.

"Sorry Tifa. Sorry Denzel." The entire assembled parties (who were present) mumbled guiltily, looking very ashamed, which they should be.

"_Why don't all of you grow some common sense and start behaving like the adults you supposedly are?_" Tifa snapped under her breath, Denzel on the verge of sleep once more, "_Agree to disagree and stop behaving like children!_"

"Why don't we travel in the late afternoon/early evening hours?" Rufus suggested sleepily, eyes falling to half mast as didn't even try to stay awake, "That way both you and Cloud get what you want Tseng."

"…sounds fair." Tseng mumbled, staring at the floor, rather red in the face from a mixture of yelling and embarrassment.

"…yeah." Cloud muttered, shuffling his weight from foot to foot, mumbling a quick, "Sorry Tseng." as Rufus teetered between slumber and waking.

Elena said a half-hearted apology to Cid and Barrett and the two said sorry in turn, neither Turk nor AVALANCHE members really looking at one another out of embarrassment.

Jayden, being a very deep sleeper (and psychologically exhausted), had slept through the entire thing and Rufus, being a gentleman, pulled the ends of her braids away from the campfire before they went up in flames and after doing so, went to sleep himself.

"So…I take it you've come to a decision?" Vincent asked as he re-entered the cave, his keen hearing having noticed the noisy bickering die away.

"Yes. We leave this afternoon." Yuffie said awkwardly, getting over her embarrassment, but not quite there yet.

* * *

Loz shot along the rocky terrain, feeling lighter than he had in…well **EVER**! He had **_finally_** told his little bother off! **MAN** that had been sweet! But what was even better is that Kadaj was **_actually_** complying to Loz's demands! 

Sure he had toed the line once or twice, but a quick half-nelson followed by a German suplex (…he'd often wondered where the name came from – German…pfft! So weird!) had swiftly ingrained in the youngest Remnant's mind what the order of the food chain was: Yazoo, Loz, Kadaj.

Currently, apart from feeling like a **_TOTAL_** bad ass for knocking his brother down a couple pegs, Loz was searching with the Geostigma infected Bloodhounds for Mother's current location.

By the way they were acting, he had a feeling she had to be somewhere close. Just a few moments before, they had been sprawling over an extensive area, so much so that he lost sight of some.

Now they were regrouping, starting to cluster closer together as they started to increase their speed towards a single point.

Loz came to a stop and motioned for the Bloodhounds to halt. A fortification of rock stared him in the face. He allowed his eyes to trail up the cliff wall, following a small, almost unnoticeable path winding along it.

A grin formed on Loz's face. If that little brat had been crafty enough to escape them, to elude them for this long, what were the odds she was hiding here?

It was very secluded, far away from Edge and any remaining food supplies contained therein. Just a quick glance at the treacherous landscape of the conduit along the cliff face told Loz that it wouldn't support the weight of any sort of motor vehicle, be it car or motorcycle.

And if there was a covered area of any sort at the top of that cliff, then it would be the perfect place for that scrawny wench to hide out with mother.

Loz unzipped his left rear pocket and dove a hand inside, fishing around for his cell…which he never found. Eyes widening, it suddenly dawned on him that that morning he had set it down on the counter inside of a ruined building…and it was probably still there (he pulled a Vincent!)

Pale face coloring a vivid shade of red after realizing his own clumsiness, but coated with a slightly relieved edge when he remembered that Kadaj wouldn't scold him for it (or ELSE!) Loz signaled to the Bloodhounds that they were going back.

_"Just wait until they hear I've found Mother."_ he thought excitedly, restarting his motorcycle again and kicking a sizeable dust cloud as he pinwheeled back towards the ruins of Edge, _"Granted they'll be none too pleased that I left my cell phone so I couldn't inform them sooner, but the fact that I've finally tracked down that little wretch should more than make up for it."_

* * *

"I've been meaning to ask you this for sometime now, Ms. Schwartz...why are you so - for lack of a better word, soggy?" Rufus asked as they walked through the forest, dead leaves crunching under foot. 

Reno's entire face convulsed. _"Oh man, if she talks I am so busted!"_ he thought wildly, already looking for possibly escape routes almost missing the words, "...fell in." tumbling from Jayden's lips. He almost tripped over his own feet. Just as fast as Reno would've been doomed he was saved.

"Um, just a question, but why are we going this way, sir?" Tseng asked tenatively, stepping over a dead log, "I mean, Edge is back in the other direction."

"There's a large chocobo nesting ground in this area." Jayden responded dully from the front of the group, "We don't want to make too mach noise when approaching the Edge Catacombs. So motorcycles and the Shera are out."

"I see. So you're thinking we ride those oversized version of a bad hairdo to the underground?" Cid asked, causing a deep scowl to form on Cloud's face.

"If we want to make it before nidnight, then yes." Tifa said easily, shifting the drowsy Denzel on her hip, the boy burying his face in her neck, "Chocobo's may not be motorcycles, but they're still fast."

Marlene looked up at Denzel worriedly. He was getting worse and hardly had the energy to stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time.

"How much further is this?" Cait Sith asked from atop RedXIII's back, glancing at the sky, "We really need to hurry if we want to do this while there's still some light."

Jayden didn't reply this time and just kept walking, pushing her way through some brambles and not even twitching as a particularly large thorn slashed her across the cheek.

"Hey, are you okay?" Yuffie asked, speeding her clip slightly to match Jayden's. When she got no answer, a childish glower filled her face and she huffed, "Come _**ON!**_ Say someth-!"

Cloud grabbed Yuffie by the shoulder. "Knock it off Cloud! She's acting like a brat!" Yuffie squealled indignantly, trying to yank one of Jayden's braids.

"She was just told her father died before his time, that she lost four years with him without reason." Cloud whispered directly into Yuffie's ear (...uh-oh, Emo Cloud's back -.- sorry Tifa) "She's trying her best to take that puss-filled ball of pain and shove it as far down as possible so she doesn't have to feel."

"I don't **care!** She's gonna have to come to terms with it **_sooner_** or later!" Yuffie said irritably, wrenching free, "That's no excuse for being **rude!**"

By this point, everyone else had long since followed Jayden through the thicket, leaving both Emo Cloud and Yuffie by their lonesome. Finally seeming to notice the absence of the Turks and AVALANCHE resistance, '_Cloud_' snapped back into dominance and wondered where everbody had gotten off to.

"Tifa? Barrett? Vincent? ...Reno?" Cloud called out worriedly, hand instinctively moving towards the hilt of the Buster Sword as the sound of rustling leaves and breaking twigs came from his right. Yuffie, also picking up on the noise, gripped her Giant Shuriken and shifted a bit closer to Cloud for safety reasons as the sounds came even closer.

What came next was a huge crashing sound of breaking thorn limbs, a yellow blur and a loud, "**_KWEH!_**" as Rude burst through the thicket on the back of a good sized Chocobo.

"**There** you are!" he said, fingers buried in the giant yellow bird's feather to maintain his balance, "Get a move on you two! Everyone else is wrangling a bird!"

Looking slightly embarrassed, the two followed quickly after Rude, doing their best to keep up the Chocobo's dust trail.

* * *

(A/N: The Edge Catacombs, a night of festivities, and The Remnants attack. R&R) 


	23. The Underground

(A/N: So few reviews last chappie. Did I do something wrong? Have you all abandoned me :'( I hope not. At any rate, this chappies a LONNNNNNNNNG one. But, as a gift to you all for finishing it and reviewing, I've posted some new pics of the Final Fantasy characters as CHIBIS! As well as a pick of Jayden post Bahamut SIN! Check'em out on my profile! So with that said, READ ON PEEPS!)

* * *

For about two hours they rode in silence. There wasn't much of a choice; the wind whistling in their ears and the sporadic "KWEH!" of the Chocobo made conversation nearly impossible. 

Not that Yuffie didn't try. Through the com device located in the collar of each Turk's uniform as well as Rufus's own white lapel, she insistently chattered their ears off about the most inane subjects she could think of.

It wasn't her fault she was bored…but it was her fault for extracting the device from Reno's collar earlier that morning. Kids? Please don't steal.

This soon ended as one by one, the receiver/transmitters were torn from their proper places and tossed to the four winds, leaving only the sound of large bird feet pounding against the hard-packed earth of the wastelands.

When the city limit's loomed into sight, the AVALANCHE resistance as well as the Turks slowed their rides down to a slow walk…except for Reno who kept charging blindly ahead.

And for all those of you thinking that Reno was trying to be the conquering hero, you're wrong. You see, he and his Chocobo weren't exactly seeing eye to eye. In fact, they hadn't been seeing eye to eye since the creature had been forced on him.

You see, while Reno wanted to keep his seat and make it to the catacombs in one piece, the Chocobo wanted him…oh what was the word – oh **yeah!** Off. The overstuffed turkey had already tried to unseat him twice.

And apparently, if it couldn't have it's way and get Reno off, he was going to attempt to ram himself into a nearby building (or what was left of a building) and hope that the impact would unseat the red-headed annoyance.

He probably would have succeeded too, if Tseng hadn't shot his own ride out in front of the strong-willed creature.

"Are you trying to get us killed you fool?" he said irritably, slightly surprised by the righteous indignation that filled Reno's face.

"It's not **_my_** fault this thing doesn't like me, yo!" Reno said crossly, fighting the urge to rip out a few handfuls of feathers just to vent.

"Switch with me. You grabbed a young, dominant male." Jayden said impassively, riding up along side him on her own ride, which was either flock leader or bottom of the pecking order by the huge amount of scarring on it's body, "He's trying to show off to the females by bucking you."

"No way!" Reno said, winding his fingers even deeper into the feathers, and squeezing his legs even tighter around the Chocobo's middle. "Now it's a matter of principle, yo! There is **no** way **_I'm_** being owned by a bird – **hey!** Are you even **_listening_** to me, yo?"

To answer his question, as though it wasn't obvious enough by the way she was fiddling with her hip pouch, no. She wasn't listening to him. What Jayden was doing, was answer her cell phone, set to vibrate to minimize the noise.

"Hello? ...whaddya got for me?" Jayden drawled blandly into the phone, absentmindedly stroking the back of her Chocobo's head and ignoring Cloud's look of curiosity, "...well, then it's a good thing I vacated the premises already, isn't it...so, how soon can you have rooms ready...why 'rooms'? Well, you'll find out when I arrive...alright. I'll be seeing you."

"Who was that?" Marlene asked, appearing on her left astride RedXIII's back.

"My informant." Jayden said listlessly, returning the device to the pouch at her hip, "The Remnants were spotted moving towards our previous location in Cosmo Canyon."

"Well, **they** don't waste anytime, now do they?" Cid snorted, shifting slightly as his ride took a step forwards then backwards restlessly.

"Who is this person? Your informant I mean." Elena asked, urging her Chocobo forward so that she might have a better view of Tseng.

"Let's just say he's someone you all know very well." Jayden replied cryptically, switching her weight so that the bird beneath her knew she wanted to move, "Let's get moving. We're heading about a mile underground so be prepare for a temperature shift."

"Why would the temperature change, daddy?" Marlene asked, twisting herself slightly to look up into Barrett's face as the Gun Arm hefted her off RedXIII to give the beast a break.

"Th' catacombs are underground, Marlene." Barrett replied easily, giving the sides of his Chocobo a light kick to send it into motion, "And that means no sun."

"Ah, **_man!_** I **hate** the cold!" Yuffie whined, sticking out her lower lip sulkily as she grudging made her ride follow after them.

"You still have that blanket right?" Rude asked evenly, passing the spoiled princess on her right, "Just wrap up."

_"You _would_ say that."_ She thought irritably, reaching into her pack to retrieve the tanned animal skin before doing a double take, _"Wait! How'd he know I didn't give it back? …must be losing my touch."_

* * *

The Edge Catacombs, or '_Underground_', while very cold and musty, were surprisingly well lit. Housing, trading posts, restaurants, a hospital, an orphanage and many more structures lined the streets. 

Because of the constant cold temperatures, parkas, stoles, mittens, scarves and hats became a common sight. In fact, if it were physically possible for it to snow a mile underground, the frozen substance probably would be falling non-stop.

There were no automobiles to be seen anywhere, but Chocobo's were a common sight, tied to riding posts or hitched up to pull carts. Apparently, a certain otherworlder wasn't the only one concerned with keeping the noise level down.

_"They must be trying to keep this location a unknown to the Remnants."_ Rufus thought, taking in the sight of an older man and woman in a heated discussion over a slab of meat and a bolt of fabric, _"And it also appears that trading and bartering is the current rate of exchange...good to know."_

"Yuffie, knock it **off!**" Elena cried, maneuvering her ride in front of the klepto as she attempted to sneak away from the group.

"Ah, **_c'mon!_**" the ninja princess cried, pointing frantically in direction she had just tried to bolt, "Something's going **on** over there!"

"The only thing that's going on over there is a pick-pocketing intervention." Cid said, rolling his eyes and fishing in his pocket for his cigarettes.

"No Daddy, look. She's right." Marlene said insistently, gesturing towards the thoroughfare Yuffie had tried to duck down; people were bustling around, hanging colorful banners and setting up booths.

"Huh…wonder what's up?" RedXIII mused, slowing his pace slightly to get a better look.

"We can find out later." Reno replied, squirming on the back of his Chocobo a lot more than usual, "My ass's falling asleep and I hafta take a piss, yo. So can we speed this up please?"

"Can **_you_** not give graphic details of what your body's doing in front of the children?" Tifa asked irritably (has had about fifteen minutes of sleep)

It really didn't matter though. Marlene was thoroughly distracted by Cait Sith swinging from RedXIII's tail and Denzel was asleep.

Reno merely chose to stick his tongue out at Tifa and give no reply.

* * *

After that, the group continued on in silence, coming to a stop at a residence located adjacent to a beautiful reflecting pool. 

"We're here." Jayden said shortly, sliding off the back of her Chocobo and leading it over to the reflecting pool to drink. One by one, the AVALANCHE resistance and Turks slid off their mounts and led them to water.

"Not too shabby." Cloud said offhandedly, giving his ride one last pat before approaching the domicile, "We made great time."

"This is incredible." Rude remarked, drinking in as much of the scenery as was possible from his current vantage point, "After so much devastation, they've made this much progress in such a short amount of time."

"Yes…the human animal is truly incredible." A deep, male voice said from directly behind them. Everyone with the exception of Jayden whirled around at the familiarity of the voice and found themselves face to face with…

"Reeve! Oh…it's so good to see you!" Tifa cried softly, giving the Turk deserter a sideways hug as Denzel situated on her hip and sleeping again, "So **you're** Jayden's informant?"

"Yes, and I'm **_very_** glad to see you all alive and well." Reeve Tuesti said sincerely as he allowed them into his domicile, "Two years and not a word from any of you? I was beginning to fear the worst. Where have you all been?"

"Believe me Reeve, you wouldn't believe us if we told you." Rufus sighed, a minor look of surprise and mild suspicion filling his former employee's face not lost on the ShinRa president, "…truce?" he sighed, extending his hand toward the former Turk.

"For now." Reeve replied evenly, grasping the Rufus's hand and shaking it firmly, "As long as you don't try anything, I see no reason why the hatchet can't be buried."

"By th' way, what's going on out there?" Yuffie asked, instantly maneuvering her way to the front of the group, "People were hanging up banners and...**_whaaaaat?_** I **know** I'm not the only one who wants to know!"

There was a group wide sigh as Yuffie looked up expectantly at Reeve for answers she was sure he had.

"Well, today marks the two year anniversary since this refugee settlement was established." Reeve remarked, stroking his beard, "It's been rough going but it's two years of peace we managed to maintain. I suppose that's something to celebrate."

"I noticed quite a bit of diversity on the street." Elena said, grabbing the back of a chair and taking a seat, "Am I to understand that there are survivors from cities other than Edge residing here?"

"Correct." Reeve nodded, striding a few feet away to retrieve his coffee cup, "After discovering JENOVA's absence from Edge, they began systematically dismantling cities one by one. Junon, Kalm, Costa del Sol, Gongaga and Bone Village are all things of the past."

"What about Wutai?" Tseng asked, his knuckles white and tense; he was Wutai born so he'd naturally be worried about the fate of his homeland.

"They've resisted evacuating thus far." Jayden said dully, tightening her bowstring and plucking it several times, apparently not satisfied, "But it's only a matter of time."

"They have **my** Dad!" Yuffie said fiercely, totally convinced of her father's capabilities as a fighter, "There's no **_way_** they'll ever-!"

"When did this conversation turn so dark, yo?" Reno asked loudly, digging his pinky in his ear for non-existent wax, "Why don't we live a little while we can?"

"…I suppose the environment would do us good…if nothing else." Vincent remarked evenly, eyeing Jayden who had tightened her bowstring taut enough to cut skin (as tested on a poor unsuspecting apple) and had moved on to sharpening a crude looking ax (tomahawk)

"You do that." Tifa said shortly, looking tired enough to keel over, "I'm going to bed. Reeve, is there anyplace I can go lie down?"

"Upstairs, first room on your right." Reeve responded as the exhausted woman dragged both herself and Denzel upstairs.

"So, we doin' this?" Barrett asked, hoping the answer was yes by the was Marlene was looking at him.

"May as well. We haven't thought of anything but the Remnants in a good long while." Cloud sighed, scratching his messy hair, "Tonight will be for us. We can redirect our thoughts tomorrow."

"**Saweeeeeeet!**" Cid whooped, almost defying his own honor code by giving Reno a hi-five, "**_Parrrr_-teh!**"

* * *

What followed was a whirlwind night of games, fatty foods and dancing. 

Rufus was somehow coerced into dancing with Yuffie to a very fast paced song and everyone expected him to do poorly, but he shocked them all by outshining the girl and attracting several different members of the opposite sex. .Yuffie then took the opportunity while presented itself to sneak off, in hopes of finding materia stashed somewhere among the booths

Rude, Barrett and Cid were instantly drawn to a shooting gallery. Barrett did very well naturally, winning a stuffed prized bigger than Marlene, which was quickly handed off to his adoptive daughter. Rude and Cid were so evenly matched that it soon became a shoot out between the two, just to break the tie and inflate their already large male ego's even moreso.

Reno womanized, not that it was difficult for him with his looks. He had ten cell numbers in his breast pocket in the space of twenty minutes.

Cloud, Vincent and Jayden (dragged along) wandered over to the food booths and Cloud was immediately drawn to the smell of roast mutton while Vincent dwindled over to the boiled crayfish cart.

Jayden settled on some meat dumplings speared on a stick and, seeing how thoroughly engrossed both men were with their food, began wandering back towards Reeves house.

Jayden sighed tiredly, patting the side of Rude's Chocobo as she passed it. The overlarge feathered beast of burden loosed a short "KWEH" and nudged the hand with the dumplings in it insistently.

With another sigh, Jayden slid one of the dumplings off the stick and held it up for the bird's greedy beak. She wasn't all that hungry anyway.

Jayden sat down heavily on the bench adjacent to the reflecting pool, feeling a weight press itself against her shoulder.

Assuming the obvious, that it was another Chocobo, she raised her hand up to pat the creature's head and the words, "Aww, didn't know y'cared, yo." followed by a flash of red hair as Reno snaked his head forward to steal her last dumpling.

Jayden was on her feet in an instant, legs tangling with Reno's and causing her to fly backwards. She instinctively grabbed a hold of the nearest available object – Reno's wrist – pulling him along with her…into the frigid water of the reflecting pool.

Unfortunately, he landed on top of her, forcing Jayden completely underwater and by the time he realized this and rolled off her, she had inhaled a lungful of water and came up on all threes (woulda been all fours but her left and was over her mouth) coughing violently.

Now this time Reno expected a little retaliation at least. After all, this time, however unintentional, he nearly drowned Jayden. So when she finally got her bearings, he was shocked when she began climbing out of the reflecting pool.

_"…okay, something is seriously wrong here."_ Reno thought, and of course, being human and naturally curious, he was determined to find out what…even if that required grabbing Jayden by the wrist and pulling her back down on her ass with a splash.

"Okay. I'm sick of this." Reno snorted, looming over her, "What th' **hells** goin' on with you, yo? Is this shit with your dad freakin' you out or somethin'?"

Jayden said nothing, but looked moodily at Reeve's house, making it apparent that she was sorely wishing she was there rahter than sitting in the freezing water.

"Look, it's okay if y'wanna wanna **_cry_** or somethin'." Reno said, grin appearing on his face as he noticed her face twitch at the statement, "You wanna? You can cry on my shoulder if it'll make ya feel be-!"

The effect was instantaneous. Something clicked behind Jayden's eye, burning to life where previously there had been nothing. With a great sense of accomplishment, Reno watched as Jayden's face contorted with fury

"**YOU _SEXIST_ SUNNAVA_BITCH!_**" she shrieked, balling her hands into fists and slamming them viciously against the water's surface, "So **you** just **_expect_** **_me_** to start - to start **blubbering** like some pre-teen **_bimbo_** in a **chick flick** because I receive a little shocking **_news?_**"

Reno's grin continued to grow as Jayden continued to vent.

"I'm **not** upset! I'm **_pissed!_** My Daddy died for no **god_damn_** **reason!**" she fumed, not even pausing for breath, "I lost **four years** with him for _**nothing!**_ He contributed to the destruction of a world and for **what?** Because some middle aged fogey decided _'Hmm, even though it's my time, I have no family and no girlfriend, I think I'll pass the envelope on toooooo this guy!'_"

She was gasping for air and very red in the face at this point. Reno sloshed over to her and patted her brusquely on the head.

"Feel better?" he smirked, cocky smile never leaving his face.

"Don't patronize me, bastard." Jayden replied coolly, pushing him backwards on his ass in the water.

"I'll take that as a yes." Reno snorted, picking himself up, a blast of cold air smacking him in the face as he did so.

While he was a bit chilly at this point, Jayden's teeth were chattering and was shivering from head to toe.

She glowered at him as she slid her self over the lip of the reflecting pool, "You're a stupid asshole." Jayden said, tone even, but not lifeless as she shoke her head, striding towards Reeve's.

Jayden knew by the sound of the snickers and footsteps not too far behind her that Reno intended to follow her inside, probably to dry himself off as well. But payback could be a bitch sometimes. As soon as she reached the door, Jayden darted inside, slammed it shut and locked it.

Reno let lose and indignant yell as he began pounding on the door. "**Aw,** **_c'mon!_** **This aint _funny_, yo!**"

"What the **_matter_**, Red? Why don't you just break the locks like you did at Mischa's?" Jayden called tauntingly from behind the door, "Oh **THAT'S** right! Different world, different materials! Guess the metals are denser here **_aren't_** **_they_**, Red?"

* * *

At the news that Mother may have been found, Kadaj's heart nearly did a backflip. It was almost too much to hope. 

As they rode out to the Cosmo Canyons, bringing their bikes to a stop at the base of the cliff, the Remnants couldn't help but wonder if this time they would be met with success or another disappointment?

With relative ease, they snaked their way up the cliff face and to the lip of the overhang and strode to the cave, a feeling of disconcertion in the pit of their stomachs at how loud the silence was.

Feeling uneasy give way to anger, Kadaj stormed into the cave. The remains of a burnt out fire and a note was all that waited for him.

He tore it off the wall and read it to himself.

"_Dear Mr. Remnant,  
If your reading this, it means we've slipped through your fingers again and have taken JENOVA with us.  
Better luck next time! ;)_

_Rufus Shinra – ShinRa Corp. President._"

He let loose a feral growl and tore the paper in half. Kadaj couldn't believe their gall. Now he was pissed. And he knew the perfect way to vent.

"We're going to Wutai." Kadaj snarled, storming past his brothers as he exited the cave and began to dart down the cliff face, "Those **fuckers** have had it _**too **_good for **too **long."

Yazoo and Loz didn't pursue him immediately, but exchanged a look and sighed deeply before following after their younger brother, who by this time was already leaving a huge trail of dust in his motorcycle's wake as tore off in the direction of the unsuspecting city of Wutai.

Yazoo knew exactly what was going to happen upon their arrival at the city. Not that he wasn't looking forward to giving Velvet Nightmare the workout it desperately needed, but in all fairness, they never usually attack a city without cause. They only would tear it apart if leads indicated that Mother might be there.

Loz knew what was going to happen too. He was going to end up hurting a lot of people again, intentionally or no. Men, women, children, old folk…the latter two bothered him especially. Children were so open and friendly and pure. And Loz just didn't feel all that proud knowing he'd killed some very old, wise residents in Costa del Sol.

But both knew as Wutai loomed into sight Kadaj was drowning in rage and at this point, just didn't care. And while he may have been younger than either of them, his rage was strong enough to overpower them both.

They broke through the gates, hearing the alarm spilt the air as they tore through the streets. Kadaj had already inserted a red materia into his arm and discharged the energy recklessly into the air.

The clouds swirled violently and a BahamutSIN erupted through the clouds with vehement roar.

_"Dammit, not again."_ Yazoo thought tersely, as the beast started swooping towards the screaming civilians, _"That's just one more mess I'll have to clean up later."_

Kadaj was already tearing into a building, and Loz was looking at his younger brother with a look that was half concern and half 'wondering if he should just sit back and watch the fireworks.

Yazoo looked at his younger brother and gave him an indicative nod, telling him with a look that it was okay to just sit back and relax. Loz appeared relieved and went to take a seat beside Yazoo.

"So how long do think it'll take until he calms down?" he asked, grunt slightly as he found a comfortable position and relaxed into it.

"Well, it's an uncertain thing with him." Yazoo replied as he watched another building collapse in on itself, "I'd say he'll be alright after this city's leveled."

"It's too bad. They had some **great** meat mithkabobs." Loz sighed wistfully, eyes following Kadaj's path of destruction.

"And you know this **_how?_**" Yazoo inquired, looking mildly amused and shifting his foot aside as a burning telephone pole crashed to the ground.

"Well, when Kadaj was still up on his high horse, I used to comfort myself with food." Loz said simply, "And as long as I kept my face covered, no one asked too many questions."

"I see." Yazoo smirked, giving the burning post a kick, sending it spinning away from him, "Well then, I suppose I'll simply have to take your word for it."

"Oop, heads up." Loz remarked, scooching to the left. Yazoo in turn scooched to the right and Kadaj tore through the space their bodies used to occupy.

"Yes, it shouldn't take much longer until he wears himself out." Yazoo remarked, eyeing the noticeable slowing of Kadaj's progress and the beading of sweat on the young Remnant's forehead.

"Yes, and them we can deal with **that** thing." Loz remarked, looking up at the BahamutSIN, shaking his head with censure, "I honestly don't know **_why_** he has sucha penchant for those freakin' things. They go completely ballistic when he loses consciousness...and at night."

"No matter. I'll deal with it - oh, I suppose I can deal with it now." Kadaj said mildly, noting that Kadaj was currently slumped over a window frame, asleep.

He rose to his feet, dusting himself off as he went before bringing Velvet Nightmare on level with the BahamutSIN's head. "Sorry about this." Yazoo said, not sounding the least bit apologetic in the least as he popped off five rounds into the creature's head, ultimately resulting in it's demise.

The ground shook vehemently as the carcass of the BahamutSIN careened into the ground, making a very impressive crater before it began to rejoin the Lifestream.

"I suppose we might as well get comfortable." Loz said stretching his arms over his head with a yawn, "We have a while before that temperamental dope wakes up."

"I'll see if I can find anything for us to sleep on in this mess." Yazoo said casually, rotating his arm in it's socket as he strolled off, occasionally kicking some debris from the fallen city out of his path.

* * *

(A/N: Jayden has some weird dreams about the Remnants. A hunting we will go and an unexpected confrontation. R&R!) 


	24. A Hunting We Will Go

(A/N: So weird. I've noticed pattern devoloping that's tre' creepy. Every other chappie I get one, maybe two reviews, and every other chappie, I get four or five. It's the same thing Every time...I'm scared ;;O.o -not really- Anyhoo, here's the next chappie, read on!)

* * *

"_Mom! I'm home!"_ a male voice yelled loudly, followed shortly after by the sound of a door slamming.

'_What th' hell?'_ Jayden thought muzzilly, staring at the back of a burly figure as it quickly made it's way down a hall.

For some reason, she felt inclined to follow this person as he made his way into a kitchen, where a short woman with a loose, knee length braid was chopping vegetables.

The woman turned around and smiled, causing astonishment to spear through Jayden's heart.

"_Welcome home, son. How was your day?"_ Jayden…or should I say 'Dream Jayden' said cheerfully. It was her overall appearance that let Jayden consciously know she was dreaming. Thing one, her dreamself's face was whole, and thing two, her dreamself was wearing a frilly pink apron she wouldn't be caught dead in.

"'_sokay, but where are…"_ the boy trailed off, glancing around the kitchen.

"_Oh, your brother's should be home any second, dear_." Dream Jayden said with a smile, resuming her vegetable slicing, _"I'm so proud. They're out at job interviews."_

"_Seriously?"_ the teenager gawked, tossing his bag into a corner, _"Those slackers?"_

"_Don't you leave that there. G'won lazy bones. Pick it up."_ Dream Jayden said shrewdly, gesturing from the boy to the bag.

"_Aw Mo-om! I just got home!"_ the teenager whined, slouching over to the duffel and picking it off the floor as though it weighed a ton before walking dramatically towards the stairs.

"_And don't just drop it on the stairs either! Put it in your room!"_ Dream Jayden called after him, causing a loud groan to echo out from the entryway.

'_Whut th' fuck is all this?'_ Jayden thought curiously, following after the boy. She was interested as to what her Dream Son looked like. So far, all she'd seen was the top of his hoodie.

Jayden floated after the boy into his room, watching as he tossed his duffel across the room and tugged the hood of his sweatshirt off.

The back of a slicked back silver haired head met her eyes and now Jayden felt a bit nervous, licking her lips Jayden drifted herself in front of the teen and stared into the face of the person she had followed.

Jayden flew up and away from her pillow with a gasp. The overall surprise of who it had been had torn her out of the dream and shocked her awake.

Loz's calm, smiling face had been staring back at her dreamself, appearing as though he had come home from a great day at school.

He had been dressed in a Monroe Bearcats football hoodie and-and…

"…he-he called me Mom…**_yeeugh!_**" Jayden shuddered apprehensively, pulling herself carefully out of bed.

She already knew what was first on her agenda that day: tanning and stretching her leggings, dress and moccasins. Thanks to Reno constantly shoving her into bodies of water, they had started going rigid and had begun to shrink overnight.

They would have to be worked over before they were comfortable again.

Gripping a wickedly curved rib bone in one hand and her leggings in the other, Jayden began to work over the stiffened skin, sitting in the middle of the floor so she got a better reach as she re-softened the fabric.

* * *

She had just moved on to her dress when she heard movement out side her bedroom door. What happened next was purely instinctual and completely accidental – she grabbed her tomahawk off the floor and hurled it at the door with so much force it split the wood and kept on going to the wall beyond. 

There was a yelp of surprise as the crude ax stuck in the wall next to the peeper's head. Jayden crawled off the floor and opened the door to seen Reno poking the tomahawk as though it was going to bite him.

"Sorry." Jayden said evenly, not sounding sorry at all as she jerked the ax off the wall, "Force of habit. Thought you might be one of the Remnant's scouts."

"…Jayzus…" Reno whistled, attention instantly drawn away from the tomahawk at the sight of her skinny frame, "What happened to ya, yo?"

It took Jayden a moment to remember she was dressed only in the bandages that wrapped around her torso and left leg.

"BahamutSIN." She replied, turning on her heel to return to softening her clothing, the footsteps behind her telling her that Reno had entered the room behind her (how rude! ask first!) "I haven't had the time to rest and let my body piece itself back together so my wounds keep reopening."

"Ohhh…" Reno said slowly, in a tone that let the skinny woman know he'd forgotten completely about how she'd nearly been eaten.

"Listen, I'm trying to get some work done. So unless you have some intention of helping me…" Jayden trailed off, gesturing towards the door.

"Well first tell me whatcher doin'." Reno shot back, a devil-may-care grin on his face, "If its interesting I'll help ya, yo. If not, I'll watchya just-"

"-to get on my nerves, right?" Jayden sighed, threading her fingers through her hair, currently unbraided, "Whatever. If you really must know, I'm treating my clothing so they're comfortable to wear."

"Huh…think I'll just watch." Reno smirked, drawing a disgusted grunt from Jayden as she took up the bone again and began working over her dress where she had left off.

Jayden worked in absolute silence, soon becoming completely engrossed with what she was doing and forgetting that Reno was there.

At last, she was finished and sat back on her heels to admire her work, a snicker from her blind side startling her. She whipped around to see who had laughed and was exasperated to see Reno still sitting on her bed.

"All finished?" he smirked as grabbed her leggings off the floor and pulled them on a leg at a time.

"Obviously." She snorted, pulling the dress over her head and reaching for her moccasins, "By the way, just a heads up, I'm leading the men on a hunting expedition today."

"Eh?" Reno blinked, looking a little surprised as Jayden began braiding her hair, "Well this is sudden, yo. When ya leavin'?"

"After breakfast." She replied vaguely, weaving the thread ties around the end of the first braid, "You're welcome to come."

"Thanks but no thanks." Reno snorted, looking at Jayden's back as though she was crazy, "'sides, gotta planning session today, yo."

"Excuses, excuses. Just admit you're too much of a **pansy**." Jayden smirked, finishing the other half of her hair and tying the animal skin around the left side of her face.

"**_What did you just call me?_**" Reno shouted after her as she took up her bow, arrows and tomahawk and dashed out of the room.

* * *

True to her word, Jayden took off after breakfast, taking the majority of the Underground's male and chocobo populous with her to hunt down enough food to last at least three months. 

This left the Turks, AVALANCHE resistance and Reeve to strategize a plan of attack against the Remnants in Reeve's dining room.

"Alright, by this point, we **know** they'll be growing impatient." Tifa said firmly, in a much better frame of mind after recovering the lost hours of sleep, "After all, it's been two years and they've gotten no closer than where they started."

"Well **I** for one am on the same page as _**them**_ patience wise." Yuffie scowled, jiggling her foot. The arrival of survivors from Wutai, led by her father no less, had left her in a less than peppy mood.

"I agree." Rufus said flipping back his hair to ease his tension, "I'm beginning to think we've been going at this problem the wrong way."

"What do mean, sir?" Elena asked, looking surprised by the words of uncertainty her employer was spouting.

"Whadee means is that if th' Remnants want JENOVA s' bad, maybe we should give it to'em, foo'." Barrett said simply, causing many jaws to drop.

"**WHAT?** **_Are you _CRAZY?**" Reno yelped flying out of his seat so fast that it flew backwards and clattered against the floor.

"For once, **_I'm_** with Red." Cid said, shaking his head and reaching for his hair of the dog, drinking down the liquor swiftly, "Yer outta yer **_god_damn _minds!_** No way in **hell**'m I goin' along with **_that_** crazy shit."

"Well…maybe we should consider it." Cloud said sheepishly cringing as Reno and Cid shouted, "**_WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?_**" only an inch away from his ear.

"In all seriousness, they make a valid point." Vincent said evenly, refusing to let Cid and Reno's chaotic behavior deter him, "We've prolonged the inevitable long enough, don't you agree?"

"If I can be frank, I just want to get this over with." Rude sighed, massaging his shoulder.

"I agree, and there is the well being of all these people to consider." Cloud said gesturing towards the window, "These civilians can't **hope** to begin rebuilding their homes and cities until we eliminate the threat Sephiroth poses."

"And the only way that's possible gentlemen, is if we allow Sephiroth's resurrection to take place." Reeve said gravely, kneading his temples with his fingers, "I can't say I agree with this entirely, but the ends will justify the means in the end I suppose."

"We'll have to prepare ourselves of course." Tseng said smoothly, watching as Elena's mouth opened and closed like a fish in shock from the level of psychosis tingeing their words, "We're aren't suggesting we go in impromptu."

"Insane…" Reno snickered, shaking his head in disbelief and looking as though he was trying not to laugh, "When, oh when did you people get crazier than me, yo? **_Duuuuude_**, this is fuckin' hilarious."

"Are we all in agreement?" Cait Sith asked, popping on top of the table, "We're gonna go through with this?"

Some uncomfortable looks were exchanged but one by one, everyone nodded.

"And your not gonna welch?" RedXIII asked, quirking an eyebrow at the large assembly from his spot near the fireplace.

"**We _won't_ welch!**" Yuffie cried exasperatedly, bringing a fist down on the table top.

* * *

Jayden slowed her Chocobo and raised her right hand as an indication for the man behind her to stop. 

She slid off the large bird and gave it's side a pat and tied it to a nearby tree limb by it's leads. The men in her party had enough sense to do the same before circling around her to receive instructions.

"Alright, for those of you newbies who have spent their lives dining on free ranged animals and are expecting easy kills, you've been gravely misinformed." Jayden said evenly, "First of all, shoes? Off. They make too much noise and will alert the surrounding wildlife to your presence."

The new members to the hunting party shot looks to the more seasoned constituents to see if this was a joke, but upon seeing that over three quarters had already removed their hard bottomed shoes, the newbies hesistantly did the same.

"Secondly, designated leaders? You know the routine." Jayden said casually, shifting her weight to her hip, "Only kill what you need. The last thing we want is too exterminate a species. Make sure to fan yourselves out and report back here in three hours. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am." Came the respectful reply from the experienced members.

For the most part, the men were exceedingly grateful that Jayden had taken it upon herself to re-teach them the old ways of hunting. They had grown in the most part, totally dependant on domesticated farm animals for their meals.

So relearning what they had forgotten…and feeling like a tough, brute man while killing a creature that was far weaker than themselves, was enjoyable for the most part.

"Newbies? You're with me. No talking from this point on unless you're on the verge of death." Jayden said coolly, turning on her moccasin encased toes and darting silently into the trees.

Upon hearing all the snapping twigs, she stopped short and whipped around to glare at the rookies. Not saying a word she flitted towards the closest one, a cocky looking mop-top with freckles, ducked down and grabbed his ankle.

He clamped both hands over his mouth to hold in a yelp but soon saw what she was trying to communicate as she held up a twig and tapped his toe with it.

Rolling her eye, Jayden let him go and continued towards a gap in the foliage. Through the opening in the leaves, a small herd of cockatrice could be seen.

Jayden removed her bow from her back and readied an arrow, setting up the shot and waiting patiently while the city boys fumbled around and finally had their own slingshots set up (she never allowed the newbies to work with anything remotely sharp)

She tapped the side of her bow three times with the arrowhead and all present let their projectiles fly. Jayden's arrow sliced through the neck of her intended target and some of the rookies got lucky.

In all, ten of the thirty six cockatrice lay dead and ready to be hauled back to the chocobo encampment.

* * *

"Not bad." Jayden said offhandedly, striding out of their hiding place as the last remaining cockatrice that was still among the living disappeared from sight, "Get a move on hauling these back. I'm going to scout ahead." 

There some mumbled 'yes ma'am's but most were still reveling in the thrill of the hunt. Not that Jayden cared, she was long gone.

Jayden had a feeling something dangerous was lurking not too far away and she couldn't be certain as to why.

The feeling only continued to grow as she continued in the direction she was going, and Jayden discovered the reason behind the feelings – Loz, chowing down lazily on takoyaki, was stretched out comfortably on the ground not fifty feet away from where the rookies were gathering up their kill.

She didn't move, didn't breath, just remained as she was, crouched low to the ground, blue eye trained on him. Jayden had remembered this type of fear quite well and despised it; the fear was what prevented her from launching an arrow through the hulking crybaby's neck.

But it appeared as though she wouldn't have to do much anyway. Because the Remnant was lying down as he ate, and taking large bites I might add, he somehow managed to get some food lodged in his throat and started choking.

It was perfect. One less pain in the ass to deal with. Jayden rose up carefully and prepared to run…but then the dream replayed in her mind in fast forward.

She shook her head. No. No, she was not going to let that stupid dream influence her actions…but despite herself, Jayden peeked over her shoulder, and noted that he was turning blue.

"**No**." she said firmly, anger tingeing her words as she turned on her heel and stormed forward, coming up behind the Remnant, "You're **_not_** going out like this."

She wrapped both arms around his thorax and began to thrust viciously upwards.

"There's _–nngh-_ no way –_mmph_- you kill –_ugh_- all those people –_rgh_- and get to die choking on a peanut!" she grunted, freeing the obstruction with a final pump of her hands.

While Loz was still coughing and disoriented, Jayden took the opportunity to escape, hoping to everything she knew of that Loz would never know his savior.

* * *

"You _**saved**_ him?" Reno gawked after the hunting party returned, "Why the **hell** did **_you_**-I mean **come on**, yo! One less problem t'deal with!" 

Jayden's deep grimace grew, head in both hands and elbows propped up on the table.

"Seriously, were you even thinking? Do you have a fever?" Yuffie asked, palming Jayden's forehead, the offending hand receiving a light swat.

"Knock it off." Jayden said irritably, looking not half as annoyed as she felt, "I know it was stupid, but I'm not about let him die an easy death after all the lives he's destroyed."

"Easy dea-we're talkin' about **_chokin'_** here, yo!" Reno cried, slamming both hands down in front of Jayden and getting right in her face, "You ever choked before? Not exactly pleasant!"

"Oh **please!**" she snapped back, not about to admit she was in the wrong, "He devastates cities, ruins lives and he gets to die by lack of _**oxygen?**_ I don't **think** so!"

"Geez you two. Get a room." Cid snorted from across the room, "Woo, getting hot in here aint it gents?"

"I concur." Rufus remarked, enjoying the looks of shock on both Reno and Jayden's faces, "They fight like an old married couple."

"**_WE DO NOT!_**" Reno bellowed, face reddening slightly at even the idea of being paired up with Jayden, "**You'd have to be on _SPEED_ t'think I'd _EVER_ get with that _scrawny_, stubborn, _flat_-_chested_, undersized_-_!**"

"Reno…" Tifa said, tapping the red-head on the shoulder, and gripping his chin in her hand, forcing him to look at Jayden, who was currently shaking with rage, "I think you've said more than enough."

"So **what?**" he barked, swatting Tifa's hands away, "Bring it **_on_**, yo! I'll take whatever she can-**hey!** Where y' goin'?"

Jayden had pushed herself away from the table and had started walking towards the kitchen.

"That's what I **_thought_**." Reno said cockily, as she disappeared around the corner, "Walk away!"

She returned seconds later with a pot of potatoes that were going to be used for dinner that night, walked over to Reno and calmly dumped the entire thing over his head.

"Yes Rufus. Unfortunately, I'll have to agree with Reno on this one." Jayden said in a seraphically calm tone as she released her grip on the pot handles and let the bottom of the pot hit the top of Reno's head, "There's no way that I would ever date this boorish loser. After all, I've already dated a boorish loser."

"Think I'll go to bed now." She said vaguely, walking towards the stairs as Reno ripped the pot off his head. All thought of torturing Rude were forced from his mind. Jayden was going to pay.

* * *

(A/N: Reno and Jayden are at war while everyone else ready themselves for battle. Jayden meets her paralell self...and is horrified. Yazoo and Loz try to pacify a hormonal Kadaj as he...well, R&R to find out.) 


	25. Mind Warp & Wormswort?

(A/N: Hey all! This chapter's gonna be fun! I know it will. IT BETTER BE! RAAAAAAAAAWR! ...I need help, don't I? The men in white haven't visited in me in so long. I miss them and their fizzy lifting drinks. Hee! Can you tell I'm certifiable yet? I fI haven't frightened you off yet, READ ON!)

* * *

"Hehehe. This is gonna be **great**, yo." Reno snickered to himself, now empty bucket swinging in his hand as he exited Jayden's bedroom.

After spending the remainder of yesterday evening picking bits of potato out of his hair and plotting all the ways he could get Jayden back, it came to him – go for the gross.

It had taken some browsing around, but Reno had managed to locate a specialty store that raised bees and sold the honey they produced.

And after locating this rare gem among stores, Reno '_borrowed'_ a gallon or so of the ultra gloopy, super sticky substance, left an I.O.U. on the counter and took off for Jayden's room.

He had entered the room as silently as he was capable of. If yesterday morning had taught him anything, she was extremely twitchy about small noises now.

Reno had then slowly and carefully poured the gluey liquid from the tips of her hair to her scalp. And after a moment or two of deliberation, he doused her dress, leggings and filled her moccasins with honey.

He then stood there, admiring his handy work as Jayden continued to sleep soundly. With a grin plastered on his face, Reno slipped out, bucket aswinging, practically wriggling with the anticipation of the screams Jayden would loose the next morning.

Reno could imagine it already. It would be loud and screechy like a cat who just had it's tail stepped on. Yes, yes! And it would draw a worried Tifa and fatherly Reeve from the rooms down the hall…just to see Jayden in her current state and laugh as hysterically at her as they had at him the night before.

"Ahh…yes, revenge is sweet." Reno smirked, licking some of the honey that was gumming up his fingers off as he entered his room, "**_VERY_** sweet! **Damn**, this shit's **_good_**, yo!"

He made a mental note to actually '_buy'_ some in the future before crawling into bed and quickly dozing off.

* * *

"_Unnnhh_…why's m'head s'heavy?" Jayden mumbled blearily, opening her right eye groggily and raising her left hand to the side of her head. When it came away with threads of something sticky attached, Jayden sucked in a breath in order to keep from screaming. 

_"Renooooooooo…if this is glue, somebody's gonna _DIE_."_ Jayden thought fiercely, trying her best not envision the shiny roundness of her soon-to-possibly-be bald head

She brought the sticky hand to her nose, sniffed experimentally…and released the breath she held in one big whoosh out of relief. It was honey. Only honey. Her cousin Issack had conspired with Kyle and pulled a prank like this on a camping trip when she was ten.

"Peh…I may not be very girly, but that little incident taught me one thing – honey is **great** for hair." Jayden smirked, pushing herself away from the bed with a slight squelching sound, "But…if I know Reno, he wouldn't just leave it at that. What else did he hit?"

She allowed her eye to train around the room and sighed heavily when she saw the state her clothing was in. Her dress had never been in a sadder state, and she had once waded waist deep in mud in it; her moccasins 'looked' beyond saving.

"No matter." Jayden sighed, moving carefully to retrieve her sticky garments, "I'll take them into the shower with me. If honey has the same effect on skins as it does on hair, then Reno just unwittingly did me a favor."

As an after thought, she pulled the tacky sheets and pillow cases off the mattress and pillows. After removing their coverings, Jayden gripped each pillow by its corner, between her thumb and index finger, and flicked it into the corner.

"May as well take theses in with me, too." Jayden shrugged, hurrying down the hall to the bathroom, making a mental note to wipe up the drips she had left in her room and in the hall, "I don't mind my clothes so much, but if he ruined Reeve's stuff…**_oooo_**, that brat is gonna **get it!**"

* * *

Reno stared. He knew his jaw had to be hanging open, but he was in too much shock to close it. Rude did that for him after about three minutes, causing his teeth to clack together. 

Reno hadn't awoken to the sounds of horrified screams, but to the sounds of Yuffie pounding away at his bedroom door yelling at him to get his lazy ass out of bed and that they couldn't start breakfast until he was downstairs.

He was wondering vaguely what time it was as he stumbled down the stairs and had stopped two steps from the bottom at the sight that met his eyes – Tifa and Marlene – braiding Jayden's non-honey soaked hair as she sat at the table in her non-nectar saturated clothes.

Through his shock-induced haze, he caught snippets of "Wow, Jayden! Your hair got so shiny!" and "Yeah! Its **_sooo_** soft! Whaddid you to it?"

The recipient of his prank turned her blue eye on Reno and said with purpose, "A **honey** soak. It does _**wonders**_ for hair…even if it **IS** a bit messy." She then smirked and accepted the end of braid Tifa had finished, winding the red thread around it to hold it in place.

"By th' way Reeve…I took the liberty of washing my _**sheets**_." Jayden said evenly, thoroughly enjoying the twitch that passed through Reno's entire body, "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. I appreciate the gesture actually." The quiet man smiled, offering her a cup of tea, which she accepted gratefully; little known fact, but Jayden is a total addict to teas – hot and cold.

"Reno? Are you alright?" Elena asked, poking her senior officer in the temple, causing the man to have a serious spaz attack and nearly fall out of his chair, "**Geez!** Get a**_hold _**of yourself! Did you not get enough **sleep** or something?"

"Y-yeah…that's it." Reno muttered, wondering what Jayden was plotting as she smirked at him over the rim of her teacup, "Think I'll go…yeah…" he then backed away from the table slowly and darted up the stairs without eating any breakfast…which tipped off the remaining Turks and the AVALANCHE resistance that all was not right with the universe.

"Alright. What did you do?" Cloud said, pulling Jayden away from the table and leaning over her, "I mean, besides dump potatoes over his head last night."

"Nothing. And that's all I plan on doing. Ab-so-lute-ly nothing." Jayden smirked, taking another sip of tea before smiling up at Cloud, "Reno expects me to retaliate for the honey bath he gave my hair and clothes last night-!"

"He did _**what?**_" Rufus asked, eyes flashing slightly, "Well, he will be reprimanded-!"

"-**but!** …but, I plan on doing nothing except watch him squirm as he wonders what I'm planning." Jayden snickered, finishing the last of her tea and replacing the empty cup in its saucer, "Thank you for the tea, Reeve. I'm going shopping now, alright? List in the usual place?"

"Yes. Of course." Reeve smiled, gesturing towards the kitchen as the short woman strode off, "And thank you again. I appreciate it. What with the training regime I'm starting today-!"

"-_**WE'RE**_ staring today!" Barrett snapped, letting the pages of his newspaper flop down so he could stare down the man, "Don't make yo'self out t' be a martyr, **foo'**."

"Yeah, don't forget we're in this together, man." Rude said evenly, asking Yuffie to pass the syrup as he speared more pancakes off the tower in the middle of the table.

"Yes. Don't be a glory hog!" Yuffie said, sliding the syrup across the table, "We're all play an equal part in this."

"I _**do**_ wish you wouldn't do that." Tseng said with a sigh, lifting his coffee cup out of the way before the syrup bottle knocked the scalding hot liquid into his lap.

* * *

"I'm going to check on Reno." Tifa said, a plate containing a muffin, scrambled eggs and pan-fried cockatrice, "If we're going to get started, we need everyone present and accounted for." 

"Alright." Rufus sighed, waving over his shoulder at Jayden who waved at everyone at the table as an indication she was heading out, "If the food isn't enough to lure him out, just tell him Ms. Schwartz has left the premises."

"Well, th wench's gotten stronger, both physically and mentally. I'll give'r that." Cid said casually, draining the remaining coffee in his mug, "She ain't nearly up t' par tho'. Th' Remnant'sll wipe th' floor with'er."

"Well at least Jayden's trying to improve." Cloud interjected, massaging a crick in his shoulder as he rose off his chair, "And she's been a valuable source of information if nothing else."

"Enough of that. Let's focus on the task at hand." Tseng interpolated as Reno and Tifa tromped down the stairs, Tifa looking slightly green as Reno tilted back the plate and was forcing it's contents down his throat as he walked, "We're in for some of the most intense training we've ever received."

"Intense? **Bah**, breaking our physical limitations by pushing ourselves to the brink of **_death_** is more like it." Tifa sighed, unable to take it any longer and snatching the plate away from Reno.

"Well, as long as we're being honest, yes." Elena said sheepishly, rising from her chair, "I can't say I'm not worried about the outcome of all this."

"As the saying goes, no guts, no glory." RedXIII said easily, stretching himself out and padding towards the back door.

"True enough." Vincent said evenly, rising from his seat and dusting himself off, "So, are we going to have training partners of sporadically interchange?"

"I'm thinking more along the line of training partners." Cloud replied, hitching his Buster Sword over his shoulder, "Reno needs the most work so I believe he should work with you."

"Wait, **what?** Oh, you did **_not_** just call me **weak**, yo!" Reno growled, cracking his knuckles and having to be restrained by Rude.

"It's the truth Reno. You also have the quickest temper." Rufus said evenly, eyeing the undead man with a small smile, "Being around Mr. Valentine's calm demeanor may aid in cooling that hot head of yours."

"Rude, would you mind being my sparring partner?" Yuffie asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet impatiently (She wants to start – like, **_NOW_**), "I can help you improve your speed and agility and-!"

Rude clamped a hand over her mouth and nodded. Reno no longer needed to be restrained as he was now sulking (wow…I guess goth is contagious)

"Elena? Would you mind too terribly sparring with me?" Tifa asked, inwardly kicking herself for not asking Cloud before Rufus Shinra.

"Not at all." Elena replied, dusting herself off as she moved to follow the busty woman, "Thank you for asking."

"C'mon skinny boy, yo' with me." Barrett said, grabbing the back of Tseng's collar and hauling him out back.

"**Whuh-_whuh_-whah!** Would let **_go?_**" Tseng cried, twisting himself around like a cat being dangled over a tub of water, "I'm **perfectly** capable of **_walking!_**"

"Guess that leaves you with me, eh?" Cid said calmly, snuffing out his cigarette on his tongue as he rose to his feet.

"I suppose it does." Reeve smiled, pushing himself away from the table, "Don't go easy on me just because I'm a bit older."

"Never even crossed his mind I'm willing to bet." Caith Sith smirked as he and RedXIII meandered outside.

* * *

"Let's see…all that's left is…**wormswort? _Yechh_**. I **hate** that stuff." Jayden muttered, crinkling her nose and hitching her shopping bag up her right arm a bit, "Wonder what he's making? He **_knows_** I hate wormswort." 

Jayden paused a moment and shook her head, "Listen to me, actin' like I'm Reeve's kid all of a sudden. Sure, he kinda looks like Daddy…if Daddy ever decided to go ultra conservative, and let his hair gray up…but their personalities are complete opposites."

She resumed her easy clip, "Yeah…**opposite**." Jayden mused, "My Daddy was an loud-mouthed **_adrenaline_** **_junkie_**. Reeve is soft-spoken and quiet. It's almost like Reeve and my Daddy are total **parallels** of each oth-"

Her train of thought was suddenly derailed as someone plowed into her side sending her groceries scattering all over the ground.

_"Jackass."_ Jayden thought irritably, watching the back of the person as they continued on their merry way, totally oblivious to the fact that they had knocked her down.

"Oh my **_god!_** I'm like, **_sooo_** sorry!" a female voice cried to her left, it's owner quickly squatting down to help her collect her scattered provisions.

"**Seriously!** Our brother can be, like, such an **_uber_** creep!" another teenager chimed, retrieving a mortar and pestle, "**OI!** **_DAMIEN!_** Get your butt **back** here and **_help_** this girl!"

"**Yee-ah!** You, like completely **_steam rolled_** her bro! **Totally** not cool!" the first girl yelled, making the creep turn around.

By this point. Jayden was feeling slightly ill; of all the people in the world who had to stop and help, it would have to be the token Valley Girl's of the Underground…and their brother, who was now looming into view.

"Could we hurry this **_up?_**" he said snobbishly, tapping his foot and arms crossed over his front, "I have a hair appointment in ten minutes!"

"You're hair can, like, **wait** bro!" the second girl snapped, glaring at him, "You apologize to her!"

"Fine, fine. I'm sorry for knocking you down or some junk, how could I have been so foolish?" he snorted, folding his arms over his front, "There. Y' happy now **_Leticia?_**"

"Quit bein' a **dick**, _**Damien!**_" the first girl snapped, "You just don't **care** do ya?"

"No, I don't, **Anchal**, if you really must know." The man called Damien snorted, "What I care about is getting to my appointment on time."

"Hey, you can speak as disrespectfully to me as you like, but speaking to you sisters that way?" Jayden said in disgust, grabbing his wrist, "What kind of monster are you?"

The man turned around to retort and Jayden's jaw dropped. He was one of the most beautiful men she had ever seen. If he had existed on earth and had asked her out she would have said yes in a second. There was just one problem…

_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! HE HAS MY FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! HE'S A SEXIER VERSION OF MEEEEEEEEEE!"_ Jayden shrieked inside her mind, hoping the over all nausea wasn't visible on her face.

_"And…and if pretty boy is a parallel version of me…then…then that mean…oh god."_ Jayden peeked a glance at the ones called Anchal and Leticia who were now staring at her curiously.

"You okay?" Leticia, who looked like a younger, feminized version of Charlie, asked as she peered at her.

"Yeah, you went awfully pale all of a sudden." The older of the girls Anchal, who looked like a femmed out Kyle, said inquisitively.

"Tell me…your last name…just outta curiosity, what is it?" Jayden asked, ignoring the inquiry, her throat and mouth suddenly very dry.

"Tuesti. Pfft. Stupid old man. So what if mom cheated on him? That doesn't mean he has the right to walk out with all of my money!" Damien snorted, Anchal and Leticia looking a little sickened by their brother's words.

"You're **sucha** pig." Leticia sighed.

"No **_wonder_** daddy cut you off." Anchal mumbled.

Without another word, she released Damien's wrist, snatched up her things from the girls, shoved them into her bag and bowed deeply.

"I've got to be going now!" Jayden managed, trying not to look at her twenty four year old, smexy self, "It was nice meeting you two."

Without so much as a goodbye, Jayden dashed off, praying to everything she knew off that Reeve, or '_Parallel_ Daddy' had booze at his place so she could melt away the brain cells that held the memory of her parallel self: the world's biggest ultra prep, a money grubbing creep, a guy…and hotter than she could ever hope to be.

God wasn't fair.

* * *

"Do you think we should stop him yet?" Loz asked lazily, legs swing over the lip of the wall he sat on. 

"You willing to go over there and tell him to?" Yazoo asked calmly, laying back against the rubble of a building, sunning himself.

"Not really. I **like** living." Loz said easily, watching the spectacle that was Kadaj from his seat on the wall, leaning forward to rest his chin in his hands.

You see, what was happening was this. Kadaj, after awakening after decimating the metropolis of Wutai, was not satisfied with the job he had done and then set about leveling the ruins.

And task completed, he thought, _"Why stop there? Junon could use a little work, and don't get me started on Kalm!"_

Kadaj had then dragged Loz and Yazoo with him from city to city so he could do a better job destroying them. How anal-retentive can you **get?** He's putting Rufus Shinra and his white suits to **_shame_** here, people!

So now Yazoo and Loz and wondering if they should either A) knock Kadaj out and force him to come along with them, or B) keep playing along as though they actually cared until Kadaj wore himself out again.

Because in all seriousness, this latest development was really drawing focus away from their mission objective – find Mother.

Yazoo surmised that Kadaj had finally blown a fuse and this was his way of unwinding; Loz simply chose not to think on the subject if it wasn't necessary.

"Alright…that's good." Kadaj said after a time, looking far more relaxed than he had in a long, long time.

_"Huh…looks like whatever falical object was shoved up his ass has been removed."_ Yazoo thought idly, cracking one eye open to peer at his younger brother.

"After we rest up a bit, we will continue the search for mother." Kadaj sighed, flopping on his back, "Until then, get some rest brothers."

Loz switched himself off the wall and walked over to Yazoo.

"Hey…have you **ever** seen him that calm before?" he muttered into his elder sibling's ear.

"No. Have you?" Yazoo mumbled back, staring at the sky.

"Nuh-uh…are you as scared as I am?" Loz whispered, eyes widening into saucers.

"You know, I can hear you." Kadaj said loudly from his spot on the ground, not ten feet away.

"We know." Yazoo smirked, closing his eyes and turning over on his side.

"We just like screwing with ya." Loz snickered, flopping down next to Yazoo.

"Well knock it off and get some rest." Kadaj scowled, tossing a pebble at them, "We have a long way to go tomorrow."

"**_Yes, master._**" Yazoo and Kadaj said sarcastically, tossing back two pebbles of their own.

* * *

(A/N: Reno's paranoia gets the better of him and he confronts Jayden, who shows her hand. The group takes a break to soothe their muscles at a hot spring. The Remnants start to close in on the Underground...or DO they? R&R!) 


	26. Kitty Goes MeowMeow!

(A/N: Hey all! Chapter twenty six and two hundred reviews are so close that I can practically TASTE it! Woot! Anyhoo, ENJOY THE NEXT CHAPTER EVERYBODY!)

* * *

"_Urrrrrrh! Just look at her, yo!" _Reno thought irritably as he jabbed the air in front of him, eyeing Jayden as she lifted weights and had Tifa spot her, _"I know she's schemin' somethin'! Just look at her – tryna fool me by lookin' like she's workin' hard…pisses me off."_

Jayden blinked hard, lifted the weight up and back into the stand, sitting up and reaching for the towel to wipe the sweat off her forehead.

"More weight?" Tifa asked, leaning her weight on her knees as she peered at the girl, an encouraging smile on her face.

"Yeah. Up it to the eighty pounders." She said vaguely, wiping off her neck and thinking, _"What was that chill just now?"_

"**_Woooooow_**…a hundred an sixty pounds total? Don't **strain** yourself." Rufus smirked as he limped by, exhausted from his training session with Cloud.

"Hey! I'm working my way up. I can't set myself to Gaia's impossible standards." Jayden retorted calmly as Tifa returned with the weights in one hand, "I can't help it if the low end for the women's bench press here is five hundred pounds."

"Yeah, it's called _'positive re-enforcement'_ Rufus." Yuffie snorted as Jayden laid back down against the leather padding of the bench, "She might be a bit more **motivated** if you weren't harshing her boner."

"I mean seriously, Yuffie, how much does that giant shuriken of yours weigh? And be honest." Jayden said, exhaling as she lifted the barbell off the rack and lowered it to her chest.

"I dunno…I'd say about…three hundred pounds give or take." The kunoichi shrugged as Jayden gave a loud grunt as she lifted the weight slowly upward, "It doesn't weight nearly as much as Cloud's Buster Sword. That bitch has to weigh at least half a ton."

"Oh _**god**_…I don't have a prayer." Jayden moaned, lowering the barbell to her chest again, "There's no **way** I'll ever catch up to all of you! I mean, I barely nipping my **_brother's_** heels!"

"Well you're trying, that's what matters." Reeve said pacifyingly, helping Jayden set the weights back up into the rack.

"I'm gonna go for a jog." She said listlessly, grabbing her dress from off the floor, "If I hang around you guys any longer, drowning in self pity may become my cause of death."

* * *

As Jayden ambled out the door, Reno quickly darted out after her. The paranoia was literally killing him – he hadn't slept in three days out of his suspicion that she might try get pay back the moment his eyes closed. 

_"T' hell with this shit, yo."_ Reno thought with a growl, easily catching up to Jayden's easy lope, _"I'm ending this now!"_

The instant he matched her pace, he grabbed her by the forearm, dragged her into a back alley and sat her down hard on an empty crate. Reno grabbed another, switched it around and sat down in front of her so that his knees grazed hers as he loomed over her.

"Alright." Reno fumed, leaning over Jayden like vulture, "I'm done. What is it, yo? What're you gonna do? Get it over with so I can sleep…please."

Jayden blinked up at him, appearing stunned, but the look of astonishment was slowly replaced by a smirk and a mischievous gleam dancing in her eye.

"You really wanna know, huh?" Jayden drawled, resting her chin in her hand, "Is the anticipation really so awful?"

"_Uhhh_ **YES!**" Reno cried, throwing his hands into the air out of pure frustration, "**_Just_**. _**DO IT!**_ I can't **take** **it** anymore, yo!"

"You **_reeeeeeeeeeeeally_** wanna know?" she said, exchanging the smirk in favor of a malicious grin, "You're gonna be pissed."

"Just do it, yo." Reno growled, eyes flashing dangerously and balling up his hands, "I'm too tired fer this shit."

"Okay. But don't' say I didn't warn ya." Jayden shrugged listlessly, lifting her chin from her hand and leaning forward, "Here it comes."

Reno squeezed his eyes shut in preparation for the retaliation that was long over due…only to have them fly open again when Jayden flicked him directly between the eyes.

"Nothing!" she snickered, grinning lazily, "N-o-t-h-i-n-g. I never planned on doing anything. I was just enjoying watching you twist in the wind."

Reno breaths started coming quicker and faster as his face began turning the same fiery hue as his hair, his fists white knuckled and shaking.

"Toldja it would piss you off." Jayden said in a singsong voice as she hopped off her crate and exited the alleyway, "I suppose I'll be seein' ya back at Reeve's, Red."

Reno let loose a roar of frustration that was heard all the way back at Reeve's as Jayden jogged off laughing.

* * *

"Guess she spilled the beans, eh?" Barrett said, wiping the sweat of his brow as he ambled into the kitchen to get a water bottle. 

"I guess." Rude remarked, catching the water Barrett tossed his way moments before it would have hit his head.

"Are we still gonna do this?" Elena asked, stretching herself out with a groan, "The hot springs I mean?"

"Break the body, then let it recover. That is the best way to build up strength, no?" Vincent asked mildly, looking no worse for wear.

"I think it's a given that we're going. We need the break." Cid grunted as he set the Venus Gospel down in a corner.

"Going where now?" Tseng asked wheezily, dragging himself in from outside, looking very red in the face from his training session with Barrett.

"To the Maneki Neko (1) Hot Springs." Cloud replied as he entered the living room, "Reeve knows the owner and can get us in for free."

"My favorite price." Yuffie grinned, thinking gleefully to all the pilfered goods in her room that the AVALANCHE resistance **DIDN'T** know about.

"And we're leaving once Jayden and Reno get back from their jog so be prepared to saddle up." Reeve said with a smile.

"Thank you for this Reeve. I really appreciate it." Rufus said with a sweeping bow; he's accustomed to the finer things in life and is having a harder time adjusting than anyone else.

"It's not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be." Reeve said easily as Jayden jogged through the front door.

"Hey there short and skinny…where's tall and trying?" Tifa asked, handing her a towel as she walked through the door.

"Last I saw him, he was throwing a temper tantrum in an alley on 179th." Jayden shrugged, silently thanking Tifa with a nod.

"We can pick him up on the way." Cait Sith replied smoothly, skipping in merrily from out of doors (he's an automaton – he doesn't get tired)

"Just lead an extra chocobo by the reins." RedXIII said sensibly ambling in at a casual pace after Cait Sith.

* * *

About two hours and a Reno round up later (he resisted and force had to be employed in capturing him) the Turks, AVALANCHE resistance and Jayden arrived at the Maneki Neko Hot Springs. 

It was quite the place, stylized like a traditional Japanese onsen, the kind Jayden had only seen in photographs on Google. She was the only one caught up in the grandeur of the place besides the children (yes Denzel is once again awake and upright).

Even in the days when she had traveled the racing circuit with her father and family, they always just stayed with the closest relative rather than an expensive hotel so when it came to the lavish, Jayden was more or less out of her element.

"C'mon! I wanna get in" Marlene giggled, grabbing Jayden by the wrist and dragging her into the women's changing room, "**_C'mon!_** **Hurry!**"

"Marlene, don't be so rough." Tifa called after the girl, before turning to Denzel, placing both hands on his shoulders, "You're gonna go with Cloud. And as a special favor to me, make sure you get out if you start feeling at all dizzy, okay?"

"Okay." Denzel nodded, taking Cloud's hand and allowing himself to be lead away from his adoptive mother, "Don't worry s'much! I'll be fine!"

"Yeah, Tifa! Let's go!" Yuffie cried, pushing the older woman towards the changing room, "C'mon Tifa! That water is calling our names! Cancha hear it?"

"Not over you I bet." Elena snorted, striding unassisted into the changing room, "Such fuss over a little hot water!"

"Well whatcha waitin' fo' ya' broke ass cracka's?" Barrett asked as he ambled into the men's area, "Times a'waistin'."

"**_Goddamnit!_** Lemme **go**, Rude! This ain't **_fair_**, yo!" Reno yelled, thrashing like a hooked fish as Rude calmly walked towards the changing room with the red-head under his arm.

"No." Rude said simply as he entered the men's area with Cloud and Denzel hot on his heels, "We don't want you taking a crack at another escape attempt."

"No, no Rude, get the facts straight." Rufus said evenly as he strode past the six foot Turk, "Reno wasn't trying to escape, he was-"

"That's **right**! I was trying to get at that manipulative lil' **_shrew_**, yo!" Reno said sulkily.

"I **do** wish you wouldn't speak of Jayden that way." Reeve sighed as he peeled off his shirt, "But at least an explanation as to why you shot towards the back of our troupe is no longer necessary."

Tseng said nothing, simply stripped down, showered off and walked out to the men's onsen with his bathing supplies.

Cid was along the same lines as Tseng and quickly undressed and showered himself off, grabbing up his bath gear and heading out to the men's side.

* * *

"Tracks…lots of them by the look of it." Kadaj murmured, allowing his fingertips to graze the area just outside of the large foot imprints, "They were together, a large group of them…they went that way." 

"It seems as though those little worms finally made the slip up that will cost them everything." Yazoo remarked languorously, still astride his motorcycle, "At long lost, we shall have our Reunion with Mother."

"_**Finally!**_" Loz smirked, revving the engine of his ride as Kadaj quickly strode back to his own chopper, "All of those dead end leads and years of searching – it'll be niceta be able to rest for awhile."

"We're coming, Mother. Be patient, for a short time longer." Kadaj murmured, a slow malicious grin filling his face as he took off like a bullet in the direction the Chocobo tracks had originated.

They went drove along for some time, swerving left and right along with the pad marks. It surprised them how far the Chocobo prints actually went. They must have been driving for over three hours before they reached a literal dead end.

The tracks fizzled out at a rock slide area. Yazoo skidded to a stop just before the rock slide and slid of his motorcycle to examine the prints further and, upon closer inspect, revealed the tracks actually went under the rock slide.

"Brothers? …I do believe we've found the entrance." Yazoo smirked as Loz and Kadaj hurried off their choppers to join him at the disjointed rocks.

The began searching for one that looked at all out of place among the others and soon found it in the form of a volcanic stone with a large deposit of crystals on one side.

Kadaj did the honors and pressed down on said rock, causing the "rock slide" to split straight down the middle and slide apart.

"Clever…**_verrrry_** clever." He murmured, gleeful grin on his lips as the Chocobo tracks came into view again and continued their way deep inside the hidden passage.

"No **wonder** it took us so long to find it." Loz snorted, clamoring back on his bike, his siblings doing the same, "They did a good job concealing their hideaway."

"Not that that matters any now." Kadaj snickered, taking off down the channel with his headlights streaking after him, Yazoo and Loz hot on his heels.

And thus their journey continued down the passage, in their excitement, never noticing how it slowly started inclining downward and the terrain started getting rougher and harder to manage, even with their cycles.

Yazoo was the first to pick up on it; he found it odd that the walls were becoming less and less shaven down and increasingly jagged as they went. The fact that he had to swerve several times to avoid careening head first into stalactites was doing nothing to alleviate his uncertainties either.

Loz picked up on it next; he was starting to feel strangely cold. That in itself was odd because of the material his clothing was made of usually regulated him pretty well. So the very fact that he wanted to stop his bike, build a fire and huddle in front of it had him a bit concerned.

Kadaj was too busy driving like a bat straight out of the bowels of hell to notice anything except the anticipatory taste of victory in his mouth…followed shortly after by the salty metallic taste of his own blood as he smashed into a rock wall, his ride spinning out from beneath him, relatively unharmed and skidding across the floor.

After seeing Kadaj wipe out, Loz and Yazoo screeched to a stop and dashed over to him.

"Whuh-what **the-?** What **_is_** this?" Kadaj cried, so dumbfounded he didn't notice Loz helping him to his feet or Yazoo move in front of him to extract a sheet of white paper (complete with Kadaj blood smear) off the wall.

"Dear Remants, off the mark again I see. You now have ten seconds to evacuate this cavern before a blockade of boulders seals it off. Have a nice day, Running Eagle (2)" Yazoo read aloud as the thunderous sound of big ass rocks falling some distance away reached their ears.

"**GOD_DAMN _IT!**" Kadaj bellowed.

"Shut up. You're injured." Loz said, konking his younger sibling on the head.

* * *

"_Aaaahh_, this really feels good." Yuffie sighed, sinking low enough so the hot water could soak into her sore shoulder muscles, adjusting her towel after doing so, "There's just one thing spoiling this perfect moment." 

"The fact that Reeve failed to mention this was a mixed bath?" Elena asked blandly, clutching the hem of her own towel protectively while eyeing Reno with a degree of shame as he cannonballed of a rock (bad etiquette; don't do it ppl!)

"…it isn't **so** bad." Tifa mumbled, occasionally shooting Cloud's bare torso fleeting glances as he washed Denzel's hair on the pavement and blushing brightly every time she did so, hand also gripping the edge of her towel.

"You **_would_** say that." Jayden said blandly, one of the two girls who had gone sans towel (the other is Marlene, but she's a chitlen so she really doesn't count) "**You've** got the goods."

"Well **excuse** me, Skinny." Tifa snorted as Jayden waded over to the edge, "I don't know if you've noticed, but **_you're_** the only one showing anything off."

"**HA!**" Jayden laughed, tossing back her head as she did so, "I don't know if **_YOU'VE_** noticed, but the only thing **I'm** showing off is mending scar tissue and a whole lotta nothing."

That shut Tifa up. It was true after all. Jayden had removed her bandages before entering the hot spring, revealing her scarring in its entirety roping it's way from where her eye used to be to the joint of her knee.

"**_'ey_**! **Marlene!** Not t' far!" Barrett barked, his dad genes kicking in, "Make sure y' got some one witcha, kay?"

"Okay daddy!" Marlene chirped as she waded along the edge.

"Hey, I've noticed…you gotta lotta nicknames there girly." Cid said casually, being one of five men who had gone toweless (the other four are Vincent, Reno, Barrett & Rufus), "Y' mind tickin' off fer us?"

"Huh…lessee." Jayden murmured thoughtfully, crossing her legs and leaning back against a hot rock, "There's…J.D. annnnd, Sticks….Skinny, Shortie, Slim Pig, Ellie, Anorexic Annie-!"

"**Whoa_whoa_whoa!** **_Holllllllld_** it!" Reno snorted, holding up his hands as a disbelieving grin spread over his face, "Ellie?"

"Jayden. Elliot. Schwartz." Rude said dully, motioning in the air with his fingers, "Remove the _'ot' _of Elliot, tack an _'e' _on the end and whaddya get?"

"I get it!" Denzel said helpfully, making Reno's face visibly twitch.

"Why don't you go by Ellie?" Rufus asked, knowing he was about to tread on dangerous ground, "It's far more feminine that Jayden don't you think?"

"Cuz its what Carrie DeMarco calls me when she wants t' piss me off." Jayden said with a shrug, "Really though, I like my name. My daddy named me."

"Is that so…**Ellie?**" Reno drawled casually, looking at his fingernails as Jayden reddened slightly.

"Watch it." Tseng said tersely from Reno's left, narrowing his eyes slightly, "The last thing we need is another fight breaking out."

"_**Relaaaaaaaaaax**_." Reno smirked, eyeing Jayden from the corner of his eye, "I won't try anything. Will you startt anything...**Ellie?**"

Jayden looked ready to jump him and probably would have if not for the quick intervention on the part of Reeve and Vincent (two people who can easily calm her down)

"Why don't we get some tea, hmm?" Reeve offered, motioning towards the exits, "You can come soak by yourself later if you'd like."

"Reno, set your alarm for three twenty six." Vincent said calmly, making his way to a miniature waterfall to work the kinks between his shoulders, "We're resuming your regime. You obviously have yet to learn a thing if this is how you behave."

"Shit man! This aint fair, yo!" Reno grumbled sulkily as Reeve and Jayden left the hot spring to get their tea, "I was just kiddin' around! _**Yeesh!**_"

* * *

(1) Maneki Neko - Beckoning Cat

(2) Running Eagle - Running Eagle or Pita Omarkan is Jayden's Blackfoot name; bestowed upon her by her grandfather

* * *

(A/N: Reeve makes Jayden admit some things about herself that she really doesn't like (no, it's not what you think) A confrontation in the hot spring, a drunken confession...but what about the Remnants? Will they ever break free? R&R!)


	27. Hypothetically Speaking

(A/N: Hey all! Thankies for sticking wid me this long! I'm starting up another project y'all! A KH Fic called _Kingdom Idiots!_ so be sure to tell me how I'm doing on that one! And now...READ ON!)

* * *

"Feeling better now?" Reeve asked after Jayden had taken a few slow sips of green tea. 

"Yes. Tea has such a soothing effect on the nerves." She sighed, looking visibly calmer.

Jayden couldn't help but notice the obvious differences between Reeve and her daddy. He may have looked like him, but Reeve was handling this situation in a wholly different manner than her father would have.

Yes, Dante would have gotten fired up on testosterone, asked her whether or not she wanted him to kick Reno's ass then made a scathing remark that would have made her laugh.

"Well I'm glad." Reeve said evenly, raising his own cup to his lips and taking a slow sip, "But I can't help but wonder if this situation is partially your fault."

"Come again?" Jayden murmured, taking hold of her glass again, "I don't follow. Reno was the one behaving like an immature brat."

"Yes, but weren't your own actions even more childish?" Reeve pressed, lowering his glass, "It was only a name. Overreacting to such a simple thing…wouldn't you call that even more infantile, Jayden?"

Jayden blanched: he was right. She had acted more immaturely than Reno…if that was at all possible. The very idea that she had made her slightly ill so she took a sip of tea to calm her churning stomach as she attempted to think up a snappy comeback.

But all thoughts of back-talking Reeve were driven from Jayden's mind at Reeve's next statement.

"Jayden…is it possible that you feel something for Reno?" he asked, nearly making her choke on the mouthful of green tea she was halfway through swallowing.

She almost dropped her cup found she was at a total loss for words. Sure she thought he was kinda cute, even if he was annoying, but his attempts didn't even bother her all that much anymore.

"Even if I do like Reno, and I'm not saying I do…cuz I **don't**, it doesn't matter." Jayden muttered, staring at her warped reflection.

"Why is that?" Reeve asked curiously as she took another sip of her tea and set down her empty glass with a sigh.

"Because - and this is **_totally_** hypothetical mind you – even if I **did** happen to...**_like_** Reno, and somehow came about telling him how I felt about him, it wouldn't matter." Jayden said, leaning forward to rest her forehead on her hands.

"And why wouldn't it matter, Jayden?" Reeve asked gently, refilling her cup with the nearby teapot, "You can rest assured I won't breathe a word to anyone if it makes you uncomfortable."

"…even with the slim chance that Reno takes me seriously, it wouldn't matter once I go home." She replied with an easy shrug, "Once I do, it's all over. We would never see each other again. It's pointless to try and start anything with him…**hypothetically** of course."

"I see." Reeve said as she took up her teacup again, "That would complicate matters now wouldn't it? I mean, hypothetically speaking of course."

Jayden smirked over the rim of her glass and rose from her seat.

"I think I'll finish my bath now." She said evenly, bowing deeply before turning back towards the bath, "Thank you for your time…and the tea of course."

"Of course." Reeve said evenly, rising from his seat and dusting himself off, "When you finish, I'll be with the others in the annex."

"**_Alright_**." Jayden called over her shoulder as she made her way back towards the women's changing rooms.

* * *

Jayden made quick work of the complimentary yukata and sliced off her bandages, padding out to the hot spring only to find that Reno was still out in the hot water…only now, for some reason known only to himself, he was doing laps. 

"…guess I'll come back later." She sighed, turning on her heel to leave, "Wonder how long he intends to stay out the-!"

"**Hey ELLIE!**" Reno yelled at her retreating back, making her flinch at the hated nickname, "You may as well take care of business now. Tall, dark and goth is making me do two hundred and three laps, so I'll be here awhile."

"…_why two hundred and three?"_ Jayden mused, scrunching up her nose in thought as she made her way into the hot water, to a location she hoped would be well out of Reno's way so she could soak in peace.

And while it was out Reno's kick radius, it wasn't out of his splash zone by any stretch of the imagination. Any time Jayden came remotely close to relaxing, she was snapped out of it by a rush of hot shooting up her nostrils as Reno swam innocently past.

After about five minutes of this, Jayden finally decided enough was enough and when Reno came around for the umpteenth time attempted splashing her again, she was standing directly in his flight path, arms folded, which brought him to a screeching halt so he wouldn't cause a head on collision.

"Look, I know I got you in trouble with Vincent, and...I'm sorry." She sighed, running her fingers back through her hair, "I overreacted so…if you wanna just, light out or something, I'll explain myself to Vincent."

Reno stared at the short woman, cocking his head to the side and wondering what Jayden was playing at. The fact that she had taken being pushed into a river, a pool of ice cold water, a hair full of honey and had yet to do anything except enjoy watching him turn into a paranoid bundle of nerves made him wonder what her real intentions were.

I mean, there **_had_** to be something! **No one** would take this much abuse sitting down! Not even The Walking Red Bat of Gloom or The King of the Emo's would be so masochistic…unless of course-!

Reno blinked and shook his head, as Jayden gave him a weird look and waded back over to her hot rock to soak some more.

"_Naaaw. There's no way, yo."_ He thought with a laugh, forgetting about Jayden's offer and starting up where he left off on his laps, _"There's no way she could…could she? Naaaaw. If anything she likes Vincent. She pals around with him enough, yo."_

As Reno thought about this, he had to wonder what their kids would look like they ever did get together and the most disturbing image ever popped into his mind – scarred, metal claws on one hand, fangs, screeching - Reno almost died because he started laughing so hard he passed out.

And because of this, Jayden's soak was once again short lived as she had to haul her ass out from behind the hot rock, drag Reno out from under the hot spring water, up and on to the pavement where CPR was half-heartedly performed.

"Out with the bad air, in with the good and all that crap." Jayden sighed as she helped Reno expunge all the water he had managed to get in his lungs, "Y'know, the way this night is going, I'll never get my bath."

* * *

"**_Dammit!_** **How _long_ have we been _at_ this?**" Kadaj shrieked, hurling a boulder at the wall with such force that it left a crater in its wake. 

"I don't know, but I'm guessing five…six hours??" Loz shrugged listlessly as he continued to tear away relentless at the boulders.

"Let's just agree that it's been along time." Yazoo said vaguely, taking a lazy step to the left as another avalanche of rocks started cascading down from the ceiling.

"Why don't we take a break?" Loz suggest, only to have Kadaj hurl a glare at him and growl ferally, "Okay, let me rephrase that – **_WE_** are taking a break now, little brother."

With that, Yazoo strode over and grasped Kadaj's wrists while Loz took the ankles and hefted the youngest Remnant, writhing and screaming, clean off the floor and away from the blockade of boulders.

"You shouldn't squirm so much, Kadaj." Yazoo said casually, tightening his grip slightly and staring at his younger brother calmly, "We wouldn't want to drop you, now would we?"

Kadaj glowered at Yazoo irritably but stopped thrashing like a hooked sea bass and allowed himself to be hauled into the back of the cavern.

"You two are **so** immature." Kadaj muttered sulkily as he was finally released near the edge of a fire Yazoo had started about three hours earlier with a dried out log.

"Yeah, yeah. We know. You've told us about twenty times." Loz said offhandedly, leaning back against his cycle, "What you seem to forget is that if we work non-stop without time to rest our bodies will give out."

"**_Peh_**." Kadaj grunted irritably.

"Oh grow up." Yazoo said languorously, stretching out on the floor, "We'll start up again in the morning. There's no need to wear ourselves out."

With that both Loz and Yazoo allowed the heat of the fire to combine with their over all exhaustion and whisk them off to sleep.

Kadaj, glanced at his sleeping siblings out of the corner of his eye and carefully, making sure they were dead to the world before he clamored to his feet, fully intending to go back to the blocked off entrance and start working again.

"Sit your skinny ass back down, Kadaj." Loz's voice drawled lazily from behind him, making the youngest Remnant jump about three feet in the air.

Over the initial shock, Kadaj scowled deeply and stormed back over to his spot by the fire, deeply vexed that he had been caught.

Having been caught once already, Kadaj wasn't going to assume a thing and waited for about an hour until he heard Yazoo and Loz's breathing switch into the rhythmic state attained only in R.E.M. sleep before trying his hand again.

This time, he made it to the cave's entrance and started tugging at various rocks and tossing them aside one at a time until he started to feel a bit more confident, taking them in armfuls. But it seemed no matter how many he moved aside, more just tumbled down to take their place.

"**This is utterly _USELESS!_**" Kadaj bellowed, falling to his knees and pressing sideways against the rock wall…which slid easily aside revealing a partial night sky to the dumbfounded Remnant.

Kadaj just kneeled there, jaw hanging open, staring at the portion of the moon he could see through the opening.

"_Ha…ha ha ha ha._" He laughed weakly, his eye twitching slightly as his brain overloaded from the overall stupidity of the whole situation and he passed out with his eyes open.

* * *

Reno had coerced Jayden into assisting him into the annex. She had at first said he should probably go to his room and rest, but under the threat of finding and burning the Maneki Neko's tea supply, Jayden had no choice but help Reno in his quest for booze. 

Upon arriving, they discover that Tifa was well on her way to getting plowed, Yuffie had already passed out and Rude was hitting on a red faced and grinning Elena.

Rufus and Reeve were drinking tea, Barrett and Cid were in the midst of a drinking contest the was overseen by Cloud and Vincent and Tseng were not present (in their rooms)

Reeve waved Jayden over and she quickly abandoned Reno as the clarion call of oolong tea sounded.

"**Gee**, thanks for th' _**help**_, yo." Reno snorted, grabbing an unopened beer off a nearby table and ambling over towards Barrett and Cid, interested to see who would win.

As he approached the table, he caught snippets of Rude and Elena's giggly, inebriated conversation.

"**You** an' **_me_**, babe." Rude said, arm draped sloppily over the blonde woman's shoulders, "What say we head back t' **my** room later?"

"Oh, you're so **_bad!_**" Elena squealed, slapping Rude's arm and swaying on her feet from the amount of alcohol she had imbibed, "Don't be so **naughty**, you **_dirty_** boy!"

_"Wow…on second he's bawling hysterically, the next he's a stud, yo."_ Reno snickered to himself, _"What a runaway train drunk!"_

By this time, he had stepped over Yuffie's blacked out body, beer bottle still in her hand, and had managed to reach the table. From the look of things, Barrett had a slight lead, but it was only by two shots and Cid was quickly closing the gap.

He didn't have time to enjoy this little spectacle though as Tifa ambled over and wrapped her arms around Cloud's neck.

"Oh, hey there Tifa." Cloud said, slightly intoxicated himself, but not enough to so that he couldn't think clearly, "What's on your mind? Gil fer yer thoughts."

"Cloud…y'know **what?** I _**LOVE**_ you." Tifa said bluntly, snuggling against Cloud's back with a sigh, "I mean it. I've liked ya fer sucha long time."

"I know y'do, Tifa. We're friends." Cloud said lazily, tearing his eyes away from Cid and Barrett to look at her, to see she was scowling up at him in a rather childish manner.

"**No, no _NO!_**" She said, stamping her foot like a six year old throwing a tantrum, "That's noddit at **ALL!** That's not th' way I love you!"

"Then…then how do you-?" Cloud started to ask but was cut off when Tifa grasped his face in her hands and kissed him full on the mouth; that sobered him up real quick.

"**_THAT'S _**how I love you." Tifa said sulkily after she broke off the kiss and took another swig of booze, "God, do I need t' shove my **hand** down yer **_drawers_** b'fore y'get it?"

Cloud looked at Tifa, now very much in a funk, then at the contest which was still going strong as competitive spirit seemed to block out everything around them as far as Barrett and Cid were concerned.

"Cover for me." Cloud mumbled at Reno, grabbing Tifa's hand and hauling her off to parts unknown.

* * *

_"About bloody time."_ Reno thought, refocusing on the competition before him. He was so focused in on the contest that when someone ran into him, he had a major spaz attack and almost spilled his beer. 

He turned to glare at whomever it was who had had the audacity to run into him, but was met with disappointment as whomever the culprit was, was long gone. However, they **HAD** left a piece of themselves behind in the form of a animal skin satchel.

_"Jayden, you little bi-…beh, I'll give it back t'morrow, yo."_ Reno thought, untying the fastenings and opening the pouch; his logic is that since she had crashed into him, it was his legal right to go through her belongings as compensation.

Inside the satchel was her cell, which he set aside – **_booooooring_** in Reno's personal opinion – and a very old, battered wallet; now **that** was interesting.

He instantly began sifting through it for anything he could use for blackmail purposes. At first all found were things typical of a wallet: a dog-eared bus pass, a few dollar bills, her driver's license, school I.D., social security card – boring, boring, **_booooooring_**.

But then Reno spotted something stuffed behind her driver's license, something that anyone with untrained eyes would have overlooked – a picture. It was obviously one she didn't want other people seeing – why else would Jayden go to the trouble of hiding it?

With growing excitement, Reno extracted the photograph. He wondered if would be something illicit, if little '_Ellie_' was a deviant of some kind. The ones who seemed normal always were. But what he found, while a little surprising, was nothing perverse.

It was a picture of Jayden, obviously in the days before she had come across all of them as her face was whole, in the arms of a teenage boy as he kissed her on the cheek – her boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend obviously.

Reno stared at the pilfered photograph, taking in the expression Jayden wore in it. She wore a look on her face that he had never once seen the entire short time he had known her.

In the picture, Jayden looked happy.

* * *

(A/N: The Remnant's are free, our little group leaves the Underground, JENOVA in hand and feeling prepared to face the Sephiroth. But are they really ready? R&R to find out!) 


	28. Bang, Bang: He Shot Me Down

(A/N: Hey all! In this chapter, the showdown between the Remnants, Turks and AVALANCHE begins. As such, this chappie will be a bit more serious than others, and end on a mysterious note that will leave a lot of you hating me! With that cryptic message in mind - READ ON!)

**_

* * *

_**

Jayden loosed a yawn and rolled onto her belly, allowing her leg to swing off the bed languorously as she tried to force her eye open.

Last night had been very trying instead of relaxing as it should have been and today they were scheduled to leave not only Maneki Neko, but The Underground as well. Denzel and Marlene were going to be left in the care of the innkeeper where they would be safe.

So after seven tried and failed attempts, she managed to pry her eye open. Jayden then began making her way sluggishly around the room, gathering up her things and getting dressed.

Everyone else was already up and about in the lobby. Lord only knew why Reno hadn't been an ass as usual and kicked her off the futon, but she'd take sleep where she could get it.

"Ready?" Tseng asked as soon as she appeared in the reception area, shifting his weight to his hip.

"No." Jayden said evenly.

"Good. Let's go." Yuffie said bouncily, turning on her heels and striding towards the door.

_"Why do I even bother."_ Jayden thought listlessly, noting how…**_chummy_** Tifa and Cloud were acting; they were practically joined at the hip. It made her wonder if Denzel's fever had spiked again. That was the only usual reason they stood so close…it was either that, or Emo Cloud was loose.

How could they all be so…**peppy?** They were marching off to their probable deaths. And yet, Yuffie was skipping, Elena was humming a merry tune to herself, Rude was smiling…it was really starting to eek her out.

At least Jayden could count on Tseng, Barrett, Cid, Vincent and Reeve for consistency. They were wearing their usual expressions. Reeve's was mildly calm and composed, Vincent's face was, as usual, vacant of all readable emotion. Tseng's expression was cool, calm and collected which completely offset Cid and Barrett.

Those two we're in the midst of a very loud argument that insisted that arms be waved wildly in the air, coming oh, so close to smacking Reno across the face. It had something to do with last night's drinking contest.

"**_You_ passed out _first!_**" Barrett snarled, jabbing his index finger directly in Cid's face, "Quit bein' sucha whiny lil' **bitch**, ya broke ass **_cracka_**."

"**You _wish!_**" Cid snorted scathingly, smacking the hand away and jabbing his own finger in Barrett's face, "**You** blacked out first, **_shit_-fer-_brains!_**"

"Y' **both** clocked out at the **_same_** **_time_**, yo!" Reno cried, stepping between them and with a mighty shove, pushing the two men apart, "Now get t' steppin'!"

"We **did** **_not!_**" Barrett growled, refusing to drop the matter, "**He** sang the whiskey lullaby **half a _second_** before me, **whitey!**"

"**_Strike_** that. **Reverse** it, **_then_** you'll be on **track!**" Cid barked, shaking his fist at the GunArm, causing Reno to let loose a loud, aggravated groan as they exited The Underground.

"Boys? Not to interrupt this riveting conversation, but we need to focus on more important matters." Tseng said, raising his voice slightly, "The Remnants could emerge at any moment."

"We are all well aware of that." Reeve sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose, "There's really no need for constant reminders."

"It's just aggravating." Yuffie chimed, arms crossed behind her head as they tromped along on foot.

They were making their way through the battle-scarred remains of Edge, knowing that if they waited long enough, The Remnants would track them down sooner or later.

"What do you think the odds are they stumbled across that dummy city?" Elena wondered aloud, looking thoughtful as they came to a stop inside a fallen building.

"Pretty high. I made sure to leave fresh tracks the last time I went hunting." Jayden shrugged, sitting back on a good-sized piece of dry wall.

"Well, if they did, we won't have long to wait." Tifa murmured, taking a seat next to Cloud, loosing a contented sigh as he draped an arm over her shoulder.

"That's for the best I suppose." Cloud said, coloring slightly when Tifa rested her head on his shoulder, "We shouldn't prolong the inevitable any longer."

"Agreed." Rufus, murmured, fingering the area under his double-breasted coat where JENOVA's head rested absentmindedly, "This has gone on more than long enough."

* * *

"I can't believe my **_ears!_** We're actually in **agreement!**" an icy voice said mockingly from over their heads. The Turks and AVALANCHE resistance whipped their heads skyward to view Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo, smirking down at them superiorly. 

They looked as though they were preparing to pounce upon them like a triad of cats upon a drove of unsuspecting mice…but Rufus had other ideas.

"Hold it." He smirked, extracting JENOVA's remains from under his coat, tossing htem casually up and down, much to Kadaj's absolute horror, "This what you've been searching for all this time…right?"

And without so much as an after thought, he hurled it over the side of the building, leaving it to plummet the five stories, firing round after round at the box, creating a small hole, from which the contents of the carton began to flow out, splashing acidically on the ground.

"**_MOTHER!_**" Kadaj cried, eyes widening as he watched the container topple end over end. Without thinking twice, he dove off the edge after it, as Rufus knew he would.

When no one mad any move to stop the youngest Remnant from attaining JENOVA's head, except to fire more shots at the box containing JENOVA's remains, Jayden's mouth fell open. She knew it would come to this eventually, but she hadn't thought it would be so soon.

Jayden watched with her mouth agape as Kadaj absorbed the contents of the container, transforming in a blaze of greenish light into the unholy terror, the evil one – Sephiroth, the One Winged Angel.

Everyone moved at once. Cloud shot at the newly reborn Sephiroth, clashing swords with the malevolent being again and again, moving further and further skyward, disappearing when they reached the roof.

Reeve, Yuffie, Tifa, Elena and Barrett took on Loz, managing to just barely keep up with his monstrous speeds; Barrett and Elena firing multiple rounds at the moving target, Reeve providing cover. All the while, Tifa and Yuffie dodged the bullets and Loz's Double Hound for assaults of the physical kind.

"**This is for all the people you've_ hurt!_**" Tifa bellowed, leaping from column to column in hopes of driving her foot into the side of Loz's face.

"**You _couldn't_ leave _Wutai_ alone, _could you?_**" Yuffie bellowed, hurling her Giant Shuriken, wishing with every fiber of her being that it would imbed itself in his back.

Loz easily weaved his way through the hailstorm of bullets to make his way to Yuffie and Tifa, sending 50,000 volts rocketing through them with a smile on his lips. He then refocused his gaze on Barrett and Elena – they were next.

This left Cid, Tseng, Rude, Reno, Vincent and Rufus to take on Yazoo. Cid's Venus Gospel was spun at the high speeds of an airplane propeller to block the bullets from Velvet Nightmare. This provided the cover needed for Vincent to fire off several rounds from the Cerberus.

"You've interrupted my peace for the last time." He muttered, eyes narrowed as he continued to squeezed the trigger.

The undead man's efforts proved fruitless, and were swiftly blocked by more bullets. Yazoo then proceeded to target the weaker members of the party assaulting him; I.e. Reno, Rude and Tseng.

"…almost too easy." Yazoo smirked, loading a new clip swiftly into Velvet Nightmare, his eyes locked on his new prey.

"Agreed, brother." Loz grinned, swiftly closing in on Barrett and Elena.

And all during this, Cloud and Sephiroth continued to wage war on the decaying rooftops, moving from crumbling roof to decaying roof as they gave way beneath their feet as they continued their battle.

The Buster Sword and Masamune sang as they clashed together, Cloud's teeth gnashing as he fought to force Sephiroth back, but found that they were so evenly match that the action was impossible.

Sephiroth seemed to bee well aware of this as the smirk on his lips only continued to grow in size.

"You've grown stronger I see…but you're still no match for me…Cloud." He murmured, as both men moved back and launched themselves at one another again, energy crackling off the edges of their blades.

"You've **no idea** what you're talking about." Cloud growled out through gritted teeth, the muscles in his arms feeling as though they were about to explode.

* * *

Jayden pursed her lips and narrowed her eye, her bowstring drawn, loaded with two arrows and taut; she was ready to start a quick fire. 

_"C'mon…"_ Jayden thought, growing slightly nervous with each passing moment, _"Gimme an opening. Just a small one. That's all I need."_

Her wolfish blue eye was focused on the battle ground a floor below her: Yazoo kept dancing around like Michael Flatley, but Loz was now dealing with an extreme pissed off Tifa and Yuffie.

He was caught in the middle, doing his best to fend off the both of them as Barrett and Elena closed in.

_"C'mon Yuffie! Move your head!"_ Jayden thought crossly, and it appeared as though a psychic connection had been made, because Yuffie's cranium bobbed aside, giving her the shot she was waiting for.

Without hesitation, Jayden let the arrow's fly, watching with a thrill of joy as they hit their intended targets – the cuffs of Loz's gloves, pinning him to the floor.

Yazoo, noticing the flight path the arrows had taken, immediately found where Jayden concealed herself and fired off two rounds in that direction before returning his full attention to Vincent.

"**Uhk**…" Jayden looked down and saw the splotch on her breast, barely registering the floor giving way under her feet as she came to the realization that she had been shot. She had no idea how far she had fallen, only that it had really, really hurt when she hit rock bottom.

The pain slicing through her chest and back was excruciating. Breathing? _**Ohhhh**_ that was like inhaling oxygenized fire. Jayden had never felt dumber, letting her guard down like that. And now, she was in an area that the others would probably never find.

_"I'm gonna die alone…"_ Jayden thought, trying to keep her breathing shallow as pain stabbed through her heart again and again, _"…no…I don't wanna die like this! Not all by myself."_

She squeezed her eye shut as frightened tears fought their way through. Jayden knew that in situations like this, that keeping a level head was top priority, but she was knocking on death's door for the second time – and this time she was **cognitive **for it!

**_Fuck_** being level headed! Jayden wanted her **Daddy!** She wanted her **_Mommy! _**Jayden wanted Reeve – hell, **Parallel** Daddy was better than nothing, right? Hell, Jayden'd even settle for Reno about now. She just wanted the company of somebody, **_ANYBODY_** – to hear a familiar voice.

_"I'm scared."_ Jayden thought, feeling how quickly the blood was pouring out through the exit wound on her back, "_I don't wanna die."_

Jayden considered screaming for help, but even so far down, the sounds of battle were all that reached her ears. She knew they'd never hear her. There was no way; not over that. She couldn't even see light filtering in where she had fallen in so the idea of her voice traveling that far was completely out of the question.

_"I can't even move…"_ she thought, sobbing through the pain as terror gripped her entirely,_ "I can't even climb out of here. Goddamnit...I suck!"_

She was trapped in a area so dark she couldn't even see her own hands. In so much pain, that she couldn't even lift her head.

Jayden started taking her breaths in much deeper, slower intervals to calm herself, and tried to think of something comforting. A memory of some sort that would at least relax her until help arrived or death whisked her off to the Lifestream.

She scoured her brain, fighting off the sleepiness that was seeping in with the blood loss and managed to dredge up one.

It was of a time she had been little and upset about something someone had said about her Daddy, and her Father had sung to her until she had felt better. Jayden wracked her mind for the words and managed find them after a moment, recollecting with a smile her Daddy's rich baritone as he sang to her.

_My child arrived just the other day  
Came to the world in the usual way  
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay  
He learned to walk while I was away  
He was talkin' 'fore I knew it  
And as he grew he said,  
'I'm gonna be like you, Dad,  
You know I'm gonna be like you.'_

_And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,  
Little boy blue and the man 'n the moon.  
'When you comin' home?'  
'Son, I don't know when. We'll get together then.  
You know we'll have a good time then.'_

Her mind became fuzzier and fuzzier and it was becoming harder and harder to stay awake…to stay focused. Jayden tried her damnedest to direct her mind on the song her father had sung to keep her awake, but kept stumbling over the words. Soon all conscious thought was lost to her and all was nothing.

* * *

(A/N: Did I really off her? Did I kill Jayden? Is she really gone for good? R&R to find out!) 


	29. Jellyfish

(A/N: Wow...woweewowwow! I didn't think you guys liked my OC THAT much! And here I was gonna actually kill her off and end this fic! Oh well! Guess I won't be doing that now will I? And now, READ ON!)

* * *

"…_my nose really hurts." _Jayden thought vaguely, wondering why it felt as though two straws had been shoved up her nostrils. Apparently, she wasn't capable of internal dialogue at the moment and voiced her thoughts out loud, drawing a loud gasp from someone next to her.

"**_She's awake!_**" a female voice cried, sounding as thought it was trying to fight it's way through a screen, "**Come quick! **She woke up!"

There was a strange, shuffling sound that Jayden couldn't quite identify. Actually, that wasn't quite true. She might have been able to put two and two together had she will power to pry her eye open…but she was just so shleepy…

"Hey, **_hey!_** Welcome back, yo." A male voice, Reno most definitely, grinned from next to her, "Has anyone ever toldja that for someone as short an' skinny as you, you're real heavy, yo?"

"…you have." Jayden mumbled through dry, cracked lips, still most unwilling to give forth any sort of effort towards forcing her eye open, "…how did you find me?"

"Your dad." An overly bouncy, female voice responded (good ole' Yuffie), "He got all kindsa Papa Bear freaky on us and took possession of Reeve."

"…Rude…ya mind translating?" Jayden groaned, noticing now just how thirsty she was – hungry too – and wishing very much that she had a glass of water, "I don't speak Yuffie."

"Not at all." Rude replied, barely heard over the loud indignant '**HEY!**' Yuffie loosed, "Your father seemed rather put off at the idea of you dying, so he took possession of Reeve and demanded we collect you."

"Yo' forgettin' th' part where you say her Daddy is one **_scary_** mutha fucka." A deep, gravelly voice snorted, Barrett undoubtedly.

"Yeah man. Reeve? It may've been your body, but that bastard scared th' **shit** outta me." Another male voice with a deep lilting accent snickered, Cid, no way it wasn't.

"Yeah…Daddy always did get a little…neurotic when any of us got hurt." Jayden said weakly, hoping her father hadn't gone as psychotic as she knew he undoubtedly had.

"Hurt nothing. You were **_dying_** down there." Cloud muttered. Jayden had no doubts that it was him by the tone in his voice – it made it very clear that Emo Cloud was fighting for all he was worth to get free…and was doing a damned good job of it too.

"…don't go all Emo on me, Cloud. Please?" she groaned, now trying to summon up the strength of mind to open her eye.

"I don't care **how** hurt she was, yo!" Reno mumbled indignantly, apparently hopping to his feet by the loud thump, "He didn't hafta **_kick_** me inta that pit! '_Getcher skinny ass inta that hellhole an' get my baby girl, goddamnit!_' I almost got **shishkabobed** on a **_girder_**, yo!"

_"Daaaaaaaaaaaaddy…"_ Jayden moaned in her mind as she managed to work her eye open a ways, shifting colors and shapes entering her sight, _"Why dya hafta be such an over protective freak?"_

* * *

"I'm sorry Reno for almost getting you killed." Jayden muttered listlessly, not sounding sorry at all as the room started to come into focus, "And I'm sorry Reeve. I hope my Daddy didn't do anything too irrational with your body." 

"Never you mind." Reeve replied evenly, patting the back of her hand, "I was glad to be of help. I'm not quite sure as to why your father chose me, but I was honored to assist -!"

"Remind me to show you a picture of my dad...should clear things up." Jayden said vaguely, interrupting Reeve as the room finally sharpened and came into focus.

Tifa and Cloud were standing by a window, holding hands, Yuffie was searching through stark white cabinets for anything worth while, Barrett and Cid were situated in the corner, taking up the majority of a faux leather sofa, Rude, Tseng, Elena and Rufus were wallflowers and Reno and Reeve were at her bedside.

This room seemed oddly familiar. Jayden couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she was almost positive she'd been here before.

"Why aren't you opening the other one?" Elena asked gently, starting her out of her thoughts to stare at the woman.

"Come again?" Jayden asked dumbly, looking around to see what Elena was talking about, "Open what?"

"**Oh!** That's right! You wouldn't know!" Tifa said soothingly, sending a sympathetic look her way, "Let's back track a little, alright? To start things off…we're back in your world."

"…_bwuh?_" Jayden gaped, jaw dropping and eye widening to the size of a dinner plate, "When th' **_fuck_** did **that** happen?" Well at least now she knew why this place looked familiar - it was a hospital!

"D-during my fight with Sephiroth." Cloud mumbled under his breath, cheeks flaming slightly, "I used one of my limit breaks when it wasn't necessary and…well…"

"When the smoke cleared, we were back in that girl, Mischa's apartment." Tseng said, filling in for Cloud, "It looked as though a shooting had taken place there."

"**_What? _WereMischaandCharlie-!**" Jayden started, rising slightly off her bed, only to have pain tear through her chest and fall back again, making her hiss.

"No. The apartment was empty. They're fine. Perfectly safe." Rufus said placidly, "Reeve was still possessed though, which turned out to be a good thing. None of us know the emergency numbers here."

"While Ree-I mean **_Dante_**, made the call, we noticed that your face had repaired itself…and you looked younger." Yuffie said, moving forward and running a finger lightly over the left side of Jayden's face, "Your face is totally back to normal. No scar, your eye – everything."

Jayden's right eye widened, "You serious?" she mumbled numbly.

"Mm-hm. Check for yourself." Cid snorted as her hands flew to her face to see if they were dicking around with her…they weren't.

"Your family's been in and out a lot." Rude commented as Jayden ran her hands over her face again and again, "We had to force your mother to leave, though. She was making herself sick."

"I guess…I'm just outta practice…using this eye." Jayden mumbled under her breath before turning to the Turks and the members of AVALANCHE resistance, "Do you think you could go get them? I haven't seen them in so long."

"Of course." Tseng replied before Reno could open his mouth to interject, "Reno, if you're so averse to going with us, you may stay here and keep her company."

"…_damn_. Well, better than marchin' head first inta another sob fest, yo." Reno muttered under his breath, abandoning his seat next to the gurney to move over to the window and open it a bit.

Looks were exchanged between the Turks and AVALANCHE resistance. They wondered if they should tell her now, or wait until she had healed up a bit more until telling her that Sephiroth, Yazoo and Loz had been dragged back too and they had lost track of them – they vied for later. No need to make her sicker.

With spoken goodbyes, a hug from Yuffie, Tifa and Reeve, and just casual smirks from Barrett and Cid, the majority of the group exited the room, leaving Jayden alone with Reno.

* * *

Reno wasn't too thrilled with the current situation. After all, nobody likes the hospital. The smell, the atmosphere, the overly cheerful staff. 

And Jayden wasn't gonna be what you'd call great company by the look of things. **_Nooo_**, by the look of things she was far too enthralled by getting the left side of her face to work to think about engaging in lively conversation.

But, Reno being Reno, he was gonna take a crack at it anyway.

"So, y'ever think you'd end up like this, **Ellie**?" he smirked, leaning out the open window a ways to watch the AVALANCHE resistance and the Turks stream outside, "**_Seriously_**, you've gotta be the weirdest person I've ever met, yo. Bitchin' one minute, helpin' out the next."

"…a jellyfish." Jayden said absentmindedly, still primarily focused on getting the feeling back on the left side of her face so she could open and close the eye when she wanted to.

"Eh?" Reno gaped, thinking he misheard her as she continued to scrunch up her face in efforts to make her newly reformed left eye open and close, "Y'mind repeatin' that? I don't see how cephalopods relate t' what I was talkin' bout, yo."

"**Ooo**, big word, Red. It's just…I wanted to float through life unnoticed…like a jellyfish." Jayden replied evenly, feeling a thrill of success as her left eye opened and closed briefly when she wanted it to.

"Uh…okay. Not fer nothin', but that sounds a bit boring if ya ask me, yo." Reno snorted, taking the opportunity of the recently opened window to light a cigarette, "Safe yeah, but **_waaaaay_** too boring."

"Safe is good, Reno. I **like** safe." Jayden said bluntly, managing to get her eye open and hold it in that position for five seconds before having it spasm closed on her, "I mean, I had my entire **_life_** pretty much figured out until all of you came along."

"Oh **really?** Enlighten me, yo." Reno snorted, inhaling a deep lungful of cancer causing smoke before releasing it in a thin stream between his teeth, "If its anywhere near as thrilling as you've made it out t' be, this should be one riveting tale."

Jayden managed to open both eyes long enough to get a good glare in at the cocky Turk before her left eye slid closed again.

"**_Fine_**." She said coolly, " I wanted to get average grades - good enough for college but not so high as to make me stand out, marry and average guy – not too handsome not too ugly, have two kids – a boy and a girl, retire after my daughter was married and my son was successful and spend the rest of my life enjoying my grandchildren until dying of old age, before my husband."

Reno stared at her. That was it? That was **REALLY** all she wanted out of life? No thrilling trips overseas? No bungee jumping off a sky scraper? No sky diving out of a leer jet? No ménage toi with hot twins? **_Sheesh_**, running into her and '_ruining her life_' was probably a **good** thing! She probably wouldn't have done **_HALF_** the things she'd been **forced** to do if not for them.

* * *

"_**Well?**_" Reno asked, placing his hands on hips expectantly as he stared her down. 

"Well **what?**" Jayden asked, delighting the fact that now, she almost had full control over her eye.

"Well I think **_thanks_** are in order! Your life woulda been an absolute **drag** without us, yo!" Reno said matter-of-factly, "So, what do we say?"

Jayden gawked at him. He couldn't **_really_** be expecting her to thank him after all the shit she'd been through.

Reno could tell with a single glance that Jayden had no intention of thanking him, or anyone who had been in that hospital room – **_ever_**. So, he vied for option B.

"It's either that, or y' can gimme a kiss." He grinned, tapping his mouth, "And it hasta be on th' lips, yo! Nothin' wussy like th' cheek. Thank me, or kiss me – take your pick."

"How 'bout neither, **perv?**" Jayden snorted, not liking one little bit the way he was looking at her – he had every intention of following through with his threat, she knew that, but there was no way in hell she was thanking him!

_"Where, oh WHERE is that god forsaken call button?"_ Jayden thought, eyes flitting around the room as Reno flicked his cigarette out the window and approached her bedside, looming over her like a vulture.

"So…what's it gonna be? You gonna thank me or **_not?_**" Reno asked, batting his eyelashes at her in feigned innocence, "Or are ya gonna confess your undyin' love fer me and plant a big wet one right here, yo?"

_"Calllllllllllll button? Where for art thou? Oh! Here we go!"_ Jayden thought triumphantly, finding the square box under her covers and pressing it several times in rapid succession.

"I'm **waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiting**!" Reno taunted, tapping his forearm with his fingers, smirking down at her smugly, "The world wants t' know! I mean, it aint that hard a decision, yo."

_"God, are all the nurses on lunch break or something?"_ Jayden thought irritably, pressing herself as far down against the mattress as was humanly possible.

"Tick-**_tock!_** You don't hurry, I'll make the decision for you!" Reno said cheerfully. He was **loving** this! Now **_she_** was the one squirming! Now **Jayden** was under his thumb! He wasn't really sure if he would actually follow **_through_** with his earlier threat. Reno didn't know how long it'd been since she'd brushed her teeth, but the look of sheer horror on her face was **_well_** worth it.

He just hoped that if he did go through with his threat, that she would at least be a decent kisser. He had gone through so many women, it really was ridiculous, and the ratio of good kissers to bad was five to twelve. But even if she was on the positive end of the scale, the matter of bad breath would kill any enjoyment he might get out of it.

"**Annnnd** your time is **_u-!_**" Reno was rudely interrupted by the door to Jayden's hospital room swinging open and her savior striding in in the for of a squat, fifty year old nurse named Gladys.

"I'm sorry that took so long!" she said merrily, hands on her broad hips, "The elevator broke down this morning so I had to do the stairs. **So!** What can I do ya for?"

"Well Gladys, dya think you can show my friend here to the cafeteria so I could eat my own lunch in peace?" Jayden asked quickly, never so happy to see a stranger in her life.

Gladys eyed Reno, still hanging over Jayden's bed, then looked at Jayden, a smile creeping over her face.

"Of course!" she replied, walking over and pulling Reno away from the gurney by his wrist, "I'd be happy to show your boyfriend to the cafeter-!"

"**_HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!_**" Jayden shrieked, face red as a tomato.

"**I'M NOT HER BOYFRIEND!**" Reno yelped, as red as, if not redder, than his hair at this point.

"Sure, sure!" Gladys laughed, tugging Reno out of the room, "I'll send someone up with your lunch. C'mon, Skinny!"

* * *

(A/N: A reunion, Sephiroth encounters a horde of rabid fangirls. Loz and Yazoo begin scouting out employment oppurtunities of the illicit kind? R&R!) 


	30. I'll Kiss You!

(A/N: Hi all! Sorry this took so long. I've been waging war with my computer. And now, with our further adieu - READ ON!)

* * *

Soon after Reno had been hauled out of her room, Jayden discovered why her nose was hurting so much – she was on oxygen, and apparently whoever inserted the nosepiece had gotten a wee bit over enthusiastic.

Now waiting for her family to arrive, Jayden stared at the lunch tray on her lap. After all the horror stories she'd been told about hospital food, she was mildly surprised that it actually looked edible…and smelled – at least from what she could smell through those freakin' oxygen tubes – pretty damn good.

"**Wow**…this is **_sooooooooooooooo_** **goooooood!**" Jayden moaned after the first bite, knowing that a stupid grin was all over her face after taking her first bite of food, "I guess I should like, expect it after being out for so long but **_GAWD!_**"

If she felt there wasn't a danger of a nurse or doctor - or Reno – walking in on her, Jayden would have buried her face in that food and inhaled as fast as was humanly possible.

This was one of the things she had missed most about being away from her world – the food. Not that the food in Gaia wasn't edible – it was…kinda…it was just a little bit strange and difficult for her taste buds to wrap around and adjust to.

The first time Jayden ever killed and ate cockatrice, she nearly spat it back out. It just tasted **so** weird! Super tough but slimy and **_waaaaaaaaaaaaay_** too salty…but still slightly sweet. It was just too bizarre.

Man, that had taken a **LONG** time to adjust to…actually. Screw it. Jayden had **_never_** gotten used to it. And she was so thoroughly engrossed with her burger that she hadn't noticed her family come in…or the Turks and the AVALANCHE resistance watching from the window.

"You know we've been worried sick about you." Mikayla snorted mirthfully, making her daughter choke on the mouthful she was working on.

"Yeah, runt, the least you could do is say hi." Kyle smirked, rubbing his sister's back carefully, fully aware of the huge exit wound.

"**GWAIPH! _CHUHWUH!_**" Jayden cried through a mouthful of burger, spraying crumbs everywhere as she stretched out her arms to receive careful hugs from her mother and brothers.

"We've been so worried, baby." Mikayla said, nose buried in her daughter's hair and arms wrapped around her child's thin shoulders, "You've been out for so long."

"How long is 'so long'?" Jayden asked, secret wishing her mother would loosen her grip so she could keep eating.

"A month." Charlie replied, making his little sister drop her burger on the bedspread out of pure shock, "Hey-**HEY!** I was just kidding! It's only been four days!"

"**_ASSHOLE!_** I was **really** hungry too." Jayden grumbled, looking mournfully at the mushed up remains of her burger.

"Sorry. Sorry." Kyle grinned, giving his sister a less than gentle noogie, "But look at this way sis – you've finally got something over Charlie! Hell, he can never say he got shot by a psycho killer!"

"Yeah, most I can say is gettin' slashed by a random mugger." Charlie snorted, thumbing the scar, much to the chagrin of his mother, "And think of the cool scar you're gonna get! Pretty sweet."

"Boys honestly!" Mikayla cried, hugging her daughter closer, "This is nothing to joke about."

"_God this is sooooooooo humiliating."_ Jayden thought, face burning with shame as it nearly disappeared in her mother's bosom, _"It's not that I didn't miss you, but there is such a thing as too close, Mommy Dearest."

* * *

_

"God he's **_so_** gorgeous!"

_KLIK-NNN_

_"That noise…"_ Sephiroth thought drowsily, wondering vaguely why his head hurt so much, _"Where is it coming from, and how can I make it stop?"_

"**Ooo!** Look, he's waking up! This'll make a **_great_** shot!"

_KLIK-NNN_

_"That noise…why won't it stop?"_ Sephiroth thought irritably, forcing his eyes open…only to squinch them shut when a blinding white flash invaded his eyes and made him growl, _"Some one will die for this indignity."_

"Aww…no more sexy sleeping photo session then."

Sephiroth had to wonder, despite how his eyes were burning, who these strange voices belonged to…and why didn't seem to be able to move. He opened his eyes and beheld a sight that every anime or game bishie should quake in fear of.

There must have been at least fifty of them, most over weight, pimply and wearing god awful sweat suits that really belong on no human body.

They leered at him in the most sinister way possibly, most of them with cameras and camcorders in their possession…all aimed at him.

Fangirls…Fanboys…Fanwomen…Fanmen…not that Sephiroth knew that this was what they were. But if he knew the horrors they were capable (the Mary Sue and Gary Stu for example) Sephiroth would have dropped to his knees in terror…were he capable of doing so that is.

You see, these fanatics hadn't messed around. They had hauled him downstairs to one of the rabid enthusiast's basement, stripped the One Winged Angel of his Masamune (now in a display case upstairs) and bound him, arms, legs and torso to a chair with 40mph duct tape (they used at least twenty six rolls to ensure he wasn't going anywhere)

"Welcome, General Sephiroth!" One of the dumbasses – I mean fans said getting within spitting distance of the sociopathic man…which he did - right in the poor idiot's eye.

"Now, now! There's no need for such hostility." A teenager girl at least thirty pounds overweight said, "We're on your side Sephiroth-sama."

"…is that so…if that's true the case, then why have you trussed me to this seat?" Sephiroth countered, eyes flashing dangerously, "And…liberated me of my weapon?"

"Well, we want to keep our limbs your honor." A rolly polly man with five o'clock shadow and glass replied.

"**Yes! **When we feel you trust us completely, _**then**_ we'll untie you." A walking talking pizzeria said with a nod.

"We **might** even consider returning your Masamune to you…after we've made a full analysis of its specs of course." A tall twig-like teenage boy said thoughtfully.

"…and why would I ever even **_consider_** trusting people who would keep me **bound** to a chair and **_parted_** from my weapon?" Sephiroth asked, eyes glittering maliciously.

"Because if you don't, you'll never leave your seat Sephiroth-sama." Said another short squat man.

"Not that it doesn't suit us just fine." A tall, skeletal woman smirked deviously, "We couldn't have any **fun** with you that way."

"…fun?" Sephiroth asked, wondering why he suddenly felt so uneasy…and why all these strange people were looking at him as though he was a slab of meat, "Define…fun."

Evil grins spread across everyone of the fanatics faces and they slowly surrounded him. Sephiroth wasn't exactly sure why he felt such an incredible surge of dread rush through his veins, but he was very sure that he didn't want to know what '_fun_' meant to them anymore.

* * *

"Well…whaddya think we should do now?" Loz asked listlessly, letting his legs dangle over the lip of the building. 

"Dunno." Yazoo shugged, looking over Loz's shoulder with all the energy of a sloth, "Kadaj is gone for the moment and we've no idea where brother Sephiroth has gone."

"Well, I'm getting a bit bored of just sitting here." Loz said, making no move to leave his seat, "Not too mention, you're getting a little heavy."

"Mm." Yazoo mumbled, not moving from his bony chin from it's resting place on Loz's shoulder, "Well, we may as well find some way to amuse ourselves."

"What about a 'job'?" Loz asked indolently.

"…where on earth did **_that_** come from?" Yazoo asked, turning his head slightly to look at Loz.

"Billboard." Loz replied, pointing off to the left to a fifty by twenty foot advertisement for 'Job' Corp.

"Huh…I suppose it's better than doing nothing." Yazoo replied vaguely, pushing himself off Loz's shoulder, "I've always wondered what those wastes of flesh found so amusing about them."

With that they abandoned their perch on the roof to traverse the street and see about how one went about acquiring one of these…jobs.

The pair hadn't been walking the streets two minutes when they were corralled into a brick wall by a very manish woman.

"Oh my **god!** You're **_perfect!_**" she cried, eyes glittering, "How'd you guys like a job bartending?"

"_Bartending? If I recall correctly, the _overlyendowedwoman_ worked as a bartender._" Yazoo whispered to Loz.

"_Why not give it a _try_, brother?_" Loz mumbled back, "_What _harm_ can it do? And at _least_ it will give us something to _do"

The two gave the manish woman a nod and she grinned at them, then proceed to drag the two down the street and into a bar in the red-light district.

"Welcome to the Cat's Meow, boys." She smirked, walking behind the bar and tossing two wadded up somethings to the Remnants, "Here. Put these on."

"…how?" Loz wondered, looking at the tiny thing in his hands.

"What **is** this exactly?" Yazoo asked carefully, stretching the object experimentally.

"Your **_uniforms_**, obviously." The manish woman replied, "This is a topless bar and strip club for ladies, so you two will be absolutely perfect."

The two then realized what they held in their hands – man thongs – then looked at one another.

Without another word, they darted back out the door so quickly they were blurs, abandoning the thongs on the floor.

* * *

About two hours later, with the promise of another visit, Mikayla, Kyle and Charlie exited her room and the CG characters made real filed back in. 

"I can't **believe** it took you **_that_** long to **notice** them!" Yuffie hooted merrily, flouncing over to the counter and switching herself easily on top of it.

"Outranked by a burger. They must feel so hurt." Rufus smirked as he took a seat by the window.

"Shaddup." Jayden mumbled, scrunching down in her bed, making herself look at small as possible.

"That reminds me!" Reno said in a voice much louder than necessary, "You never **_did_** announce your decision, yo!"

"Decision about **what** exactly?" Elena asked, looking interested.

"_**Nothing.**_" Jayden said shortly.

"Okay. **Spill**." Cid said, leaning forward as he sat on the back of the sofa.

"Okay. While you guys were getting her family, we got t' talking, yo." Reno grinned as Jayden loosed a loud annoyed groan and covered her head with her blankets.

"Yeah, _**annnnd?**_ Get t' the point." Tifa said, curiosity growing despite herself.

"An' I realized her life would be **borrrrrring** if we hadn't popped into it, so I gave her two options – thank me or kiss me." Reno grinned, "And so far she has yet to do either, yo."

"Well **_gee_**, I wonder why?" Barrett snorted sarcastically, sinking lower in his chair.

"Well, I think the easy out would be to thank you." Tseng said brusquely, "No need for her to catch something."

"I'll have you know I've tested clean for **every** STD known to man, so shove it." Reno countered, sticking out his tongue, not that Jayden knew this – her head's still under the covers.

"Y'know that **_still_** implies you sleep around with girls who **aren't** **clean** right?" Rude said ironically, "But I think she should try to hold onto her pride. Better to kiss you than thank you."

"I don't care **_what_** he says! She'll get **sick** if she smooches him!" Yuffie cried indignantly from her seat on the counter.

"Well, **_I_** think the decision is entirely up to her." Reeve said smoothly, "We aren't in a position to force her to do anything."

"…what will you do?" Vincent asked from his spot in the corner.

"From where I stand it's a lose-lose situation." Cloud said, with a shrug of the shoulders.

"**_Hey!_** I am a sex** god!**" Reno retorted, "Any woman to lay one on me should thank _**Holy**_, yo!"

"Right, right. Keep telling yourself that." Jayden mumbled, letting the blankets fall off her head as she squinched her eyes shut.

"_Goddamit…he's such a toddler."_ Jayden thought tiredly, knowing with vexation in her soul that the others had to be watching her,_ "And now he's dragged them in to it…this. Fucking. Sucks."_

"I…will **never** thank you." Jayden said flatly as stared unwavering at Reno, "So pucker up, pal."

Reno snorted. He hadn't expected her to be this stubborn…on the other hand he also doubted that Jayden had the cahonnes to go through with the action of kissing him, but if she thought she had the stones to smooch him, then he might as well go along with the gag.

Reno smirked to himself as he closed his eyes and gave the most fishy pucker his lips could be forced into.

What came next was a surge of pain as something hard and bony came crashing into his mouth and sent him rocking backwards off his chair and onto the floor.

Loud raucous laughter reached his ears as Reno's eyes flew open and his hand shot to his mouth, staring up at Jayden whose fist was still poised from clocking him.

"How was it hot lips?" she asked mockingly, pain flashing across her face as she fell back against her pillow, still smirking, "Stupid? Yes. But well worth it."

* * *

(A/N: Jayden's out of the hospital and school is back in session. Meaning more run ins with Carrie DeMarco...fun. And what about Sephiroth? Will he escape the clutches of his hormone crazed fans? Maybe with the help of Yazoo and Loz? Or will they be captured too? R&R!) 


	31. Can't A Girl Get Some Sleep?

(A/N: Hey all! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chappie! And without further adieu, CHAPTER 31!)

* * *

Time passed quickly and Jayden was released from the hospital just as school was entering the second half of first semester. Mikayla wanted her daughter to take time off from school to heal, but Jayden being bull-headed and stubborn, flat out refused.

It was senior year. Her **LAST** year. There was **_no way_** she was losing credits by falling behind in the homework department.

But even with that argument, it wasn't easy to convince the worried widow. It was only after Jayden promised to call home if she started feeling dizzy or nauseous that Mikayla allowed her daughter out of the house…with the "_exchange students_" in tow.

Jayden had slumped against the window of the Volkswagen, the sedating side effect of the pain killers apparent as she fought to stay awake…which was difficult as car movements tend to have hypnotic effect on their own.

Needless to say, Jayden was on her lips by the time Charlie pulled in front of Monroe High School.

"Wakey-wakey eggs an' bakey." Charlie smiled, poking his sibling in the temple to help her awake, "Time t' wake up. We're here."

"M'kay." Jayden replied listlessly, opening the passenger door and almost falling out as she did so. She'd been leaning most of her weight against it, so this is understandable really.

"Y'okay?" Yuffie asked as she slid open the rear door and smoothly hopped out (show off) "Take it a bit slower. No need t' make yourself worse!"

"…**gee**, I bet she **_never_** woulda thought of that with out **your** help." Cid smirked, snuffing out his cigarette on the sidewalk.

"Thank y' **_ever_** so much, **Ms. Obvious.**" Barrett snorted, drawing an indignant "**_HEY!_**" from Yuffie, who stamped her foot for emphasis.

"Guys? Not now. It's too early." Elena murmured, covering her mouth with her hand to stifle a yawn that was fighting to escape.

"Let's just get inside please?" Tifa suggested, a pleading note in her voice, "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm getting cold."

"Yeah, and you're letting all the heat out." Charlie snorted, tapping his steering wheel impatiently, "Which means you're makin' me waste gas. C'mon, get th' lead out people."

"We're going, no need to be impatient." Rufus replied calmly as he ushered the Turks out of the restored automobile.

"You're not the one paying far gas, boy-a." Charlie snorted as Cloud and Vincent, the last two, hopped out of the car and slid the door shut, "I'll be seein' ya."

With that, he rolled his window back up and pealed out of the parking lot, leaving the FFVII and his sister to enter the high school.

* * *

"Where to first?" Tseng asked, looking slightly more enthusiastic than usual. He had a reason – he had been shipped straight from middle school to SODLIER training so high school was something he'd never had the chance to experience. 

"Well you guys are reporting to McCaull's room for English." Jayden replied dully, looking a bit glassy eyed as she stumbled along, walking into random people and muttering apologies, "I on th' other hand, will be grabbing my work and retreating to the safety of the library."

"And why can't we come with you?" Cloud asked, looking a bit perplexed as they made their way to the 300 wing, "Is there some sort of special situation we're not aware of?"

"Mm." Jayden nodded listlessly, opening a door marked 308, "I come in to let the teacher's know I'm here, collect the work ahead of time, complete and turn it in on time…and I'm allowed to skip the class."

"Pretty sweet deal, yo." Reno smirked as Jayden approached the thirty year old teacher to let her know she was present and to get the assignment for that day, "Do lotsa people gun for that deal?"

"Hardly." Jayden snorted, turning back around with an armload of papers, "I'm one of the few that actually has turned in every assignment to date and on time, regardless of whether or not I'm sick. It's why they let it slide when it comes to me skipping."

"Is that…just for today?" Yuffie asked, eyes widening at the stack in Jayden's arms: it was nearly an inch thick.

Jayden nodded making the kunoichi "**meep**" in response.

"You'll survive. This is nothing compared to Sephiroth and the Remnants." Rude said evenly. That stack wasn't half as bad as some of the paperwork he had to fill out before and after missions.

"I'm inclined to agree." Vincent murmured. As a former Turk, he was all too familiar with mountains of paperwork piled about his desk. Compared to that monstrosity, that infinitesimal stack was nothing.

"Well since you're all in agreement, I'll be seeing you." Jayden shrugged, moving past them to re-enter the hall and make her way up the stairs to the library.

* * *

It was by pure luck that Sephiroth had narrowly avoided being gang raped by his crazed fans. His leeway had been the awesome might of his Death Glare. 

It had forced the majority into a foaming coma of fear while sending the others who had managed to remain conscious, skittering upstairs.

This left the One Winged Angel in quite the quandary. Any person who had been capable of untying him was either currently upstairs pissing themselves or scattered about the basement floor.

Sephiroth scanned the room for anything that might aid him in escaping. As far as saw, these fanatics were hell bent on making sure he stayed there and removed most of the sharpy, deadly objects from the basement.

However, a lone pipe jutting out from the hot water heat offered up limitless possibilities. There was just one problem with it – was across the basement with bodies of varying shapes and sizes for roadblocks

_"Lovely."_ Sephiroth thought to himself irritably, beginning to rock back and forth in the chair until gained enough momentum to hop the chair forward about an inch.

He repeated this process several times until Sephiroth reached a very large obstruction in the form of a three hundred and forty pound woman.

He couldn't help loosing a growl of frustration as he began rocking side to side and hopped the chair to the left several times before starting forward again after he cleared the impediment.

Freedom was only seconds away from Sephiroth, and he licked his lips in anticipation. But all hopes of escape were dashed when the over weight woman he just cleared rolled over and knocked the legs of the chair out from under him.

Sephiroth now lay on his side, still completely bound to the chair and having no idea how he would get himself upright again.

He was about to give up, but a strange, almost familiar sensation jolted through his veins and stirred the hope back up in him. Sephiroth knew exactly what this meant this meant – his brothers were close…very close.

_"Now…to get their attention."_ He thought, closing his eyes and focusing.

* * *

"Hey…did you…just **_feel_** that?" Loz wheezed, completely exhausted after running non-stop for so long, "It felt like…I just took a hit…from Double Hound." 

"Like something…just punched you…in the heart?" Yazoo gasped out between pants, having put forth his best effort in putting as much distance between himself and that sex bar as possible.

"Yeah…d'ya think it could mean Brother's near?" Loz asked, beginning to breathe a bit more steadily now.

"Possibly." Yazoo mused, regaining his former composure, "Perhaps if we continue in this direction it might happen again."

"But what if it isn't brother and were just walking into a trap?" Loz asked, wiping beads of sweat off his brow, "Then we'll never complete the Restoration Mother wanted."

"It's a risk we'll just have to take." Yazoo said mildly, "For all we know, this could be a form of distress signal. Brother Sephiroth could be in need of our help."

"…you're right." Loz sighed, trudging after Yazoo, "I'll go…but if you're wrong, I'm gonna drive you **batty** when we reach the Lifestream."

"Of course." Yazoo replied with a tiny smirk as that same charge came again, only more powerful this time.

"This way I suppose." Loz grimaced, moving faster as the pulse came quicker until it was just a hum.

"He's here." Yazoo proclaimed cryptically, stopping short in the middle of the alleyway they had traversed through, "Now we just have to determine his exact-!"

_"It's about time you worms."_ A voice hissed inside their minds.

"**Brother!**" Loz yelped.

_"Silence you fool!"_ Sephiroth shouted inside their minds, _"Do want to be captured too?"_

"Captured? You've been captured Brother?" Yazoo asked, making sure to keep his voice down.

_"Yes, by fanatics who claim to be on my side yet bind me to a chair and strip me of my Masamune."_ Sephiroth spat venomously.

"Where exactly are you, Brother?" Loz asked, looking around.

_"In a basement. I can see your feet through the window."_ Sephiroth said coolly, _"Now get down here and free me."_

Loz and Yazoo looked around and quickly spotted a window by their feet and kicked it open. Yazoo slid through first as he was more slender and if Loz should happen to get stuck after him…oh well.

But Loz pulled a fast one and got through the window without much fuss. The pair looked around, spotting a very vexed Sephiroth lying on his side completely bound to a seat with some kind of silvery substance…and surrounded by unconscious people of varying shapes and sizes

"Get me **_out_** of here." He hissed, eyes flashing as Loz's hands flew to his mouth to stifle a laugh.

Yazoo held a finger to his lips suddenly to quiet them. He had heard a noise from the top of the stairs.

"Get brother, Loz." Yazoo said calmly, removing Velvet Nightmare from it's holster.

"Where is your weapon?" Loz asked, hefting Sephiroth, chair and all over his shoulder.

"Up there…somewhere." Sephiroth glowered.

"Well then…why don't we '_convince_' your fans to return it to you…hm?" Yazoo smirked, already halfway up the stairs

* * *

Jayden managed to get a third of the way through her psychology homework before the words on the page started running together. 

She rubbed her eyes and shook her head to clear her vision - and hopefully jar herself into pseudo-consciousness – but it wasn't working, her eyes kept sliding to half mast.

Jayden couldn't **_stand_** it – it was only third period and she was almost out to **lunch!** Her instincts told her to get off her ass and go to the nurse, perhaps give her Mommy a ring and go home.

But Jayden's ego would **_never_** allow her to show weakness. After all, she was in Monroe High School – Carrie DeMarco's "_territory/spawning ground_". She swore that Airy Fairy Carrie had caused more seed to be spilled on this campus than the Department of Agriculture.

Jayden was just thankful that her luck was holding steady and she hadn't run _**into**_ Carrie yet. She knew it was a matter of time, but as long as she stayed in the library, Jayden knew she'd be safe. After all, she would bet good money that Carrie had never picked up a piece of literature that hadn't included the words "Teen" "Glamour" or "Vogue" on the cover.

This is why Jayden felt safe enough to close her Psych book and leave her papers scattered about the table as she wandered to a quiet corner of the library for a nap.

It was just her and the librarian and she was busy cataloging a shipment of new books, so when Jayden sat down awkwardly on the floor near a clearly fake plant, she knew she was safe.

However, she had just gotten into a semi-comfortable position when she heard the door of the library open. Jayden willed herself to ignore it and kept her eyes shut…until she got the creepy feeling one gets when one is being watched and opened her eyes to find none other than Reno smirking down at her.

* * *

"Well, **fancy** meeting you here." Jayden drawled, too tired to get up and bop him on the head like for interrupting her flight to dreamland she wanted, "What th' **_hell_** are you doing here?" 

"Research." Reno said shaking a handful of papers over her nose, "All the computers in the Hort. pod were taken, so I got to come up here and bug ya, yo."

"Lucky me." Jayden said sourly, hoping she didn't look as tired and sore as she felt.

"Isn't that uncomfortable, yo?" Reno asked, peering at Jayden's pain killer laced expression as she attempted to get a quick nap in the back of the library.

"**No.**" she replied flatly, even though it was a bold faced lie. The library floor, though carpeted, was hard and uncomfortable and made the exit wound on her back send dull waves of pain rolling through her heart.

Not that Jayden would **_EVER_** admit to this. **Noooo** way. Her pride would **_never_** allow it. If it were anyone but Reno? **Maaaaaybe** she would admit to it, but not him. **_Never_** him. She **knew** he'd gloat it up.

Not that it really mattered because no matter how much he loved to play the cheerful idiot/womanizing playboy, Reno was very perceptive and the greenish-gray tinge Jayden's face had taken on was not lost on him.

Before she could sucker punch him like back in the hospital, Reno had switched her head off the floor and onto his thighs.

"Now, isn't that better?" He smirked down at her and giving her forehead a pat as Jayden twisted her exhausted face into a frown.

"No…**_pervert._**" She muttered, folding her arms over her stomach and letting loose a loud yawn, "You're just lucky I'm too tired to re-arrange your face again."

"_Pfft!_ You got **lucky**, yo." Reno snorted, reaching down and tweeking her nose slightly, "I was off my guard. It's **_not_** gonna happen again."

"_Surrre_…" Jayden mumbled dully, eyes very glazed as the pain killers sedative side effects began to slowly override her brain and began chanting '_you should go shleepy-bye now…you're nice and warm and comfy after all…sleep good…_'

* * *

Reno knew she was almost out so he decided to be nice for once and keep quiet. He knew once she was out to lunch it wouldn't matter as she could sleep through almost anything…like, oh say, him sneaking through her room to drench her head and clothes with honey for example. 

And he was completely right. Reno heard the switch in her breathing only a few moments later and knew Jayden was out like a light and knew it was safe to be noisy if he felt the need.

He glance at the shelf to his right and found, much to his surprise, the book he needed for that weird Horticulture class. Reno pulled the volume off the shelf and pulled out a sheet of notebook paper.

_"Why did I get put in Hort.? I don't have time to waste on somethin' as lame as plants, yo."_ Reno thought with an annoyed snort.

"Eh? Who's back there?"

Reno glanced up to see a very pretty girl with brunette hair and a guy…who looked weirdly familiar for some reason, wrapped around her neck peering down at him.

"Well, well, it looks as though Schwartz's finally gotten over you Hans." The girl smirked, eyeing Jayden's sleeping form coldly, "And what a fine selection she's made, don't you agree?"

"Hold up, yo. I'm not her boyfriend." Reno said, correcting the obvious implication that was being made, pointing at Jayden's face lazily, "Just a friend."

"Huh…friends don't usually let friends use their laps for pillows, dude." The guy snorted, "Nice try. But seriously, you could do a lot better than that."

"Definitely." The girl purred, looking Reno up and down, "Th' names Carrie. And this is my main squeeze, Hans. I don't think I caught your name."

"Don't think I threw it." Reno said, eyeing the girl and guy carefully. Why did that guy look so…oh **_NOW_** he remembered! That photo! He was the guy in that photo he – um – found, "If you really must know, its Keith, yo."

"Keith, huh?" Carrie said, rolling the alias over her tongue seductively, much to Hans's annoyance, "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, c'mon babe." Hans said, sounding more than a little put off as he lead Carrie away, "Let's find someplace…quieter."

Reno watched them go and had to wonder what the brunette's deal was. If that guy 'Hans' was indeed Jayden's ex as he highly suspected he was, then why bother the girl now? She had nothing left for Carrie to take...right?

* * *

(A/N: Carrie issues a challenge Jayden can't worm her way out of. Sephiroth and the remaining Remnants make their way towards Monroe...closely tailed by their insane fans. R&R!) 


	32. Who Th' Hell Carries Bamboo In Their Bag

(A/N: Hey all! I'm over 200 review and feelin' FAN-FUCKIN'-TASTIC! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! And now, all you wonder, fantabulous people, READ ON!)

* * *

Jayden wondered muzzily what that strange ticklish feeling was that kept brushing the side of her face and pried her eyes open blearily.

The first sight that met her eyes was shocking. Reno…looking _**studious**_. His eyes were completely focused on a book in his left hand.

The answer to her earlier question came next as she noticed Reno's fingers absentmindedly brushing her cheek. This made Jayden slightly annoyed – what was she, a cat?

"Ungh…whuh time izzit?" she mumbled, attempting to sit back up, only to have Reno push her back down with a minimal amount of pressure to her forehead.

"Ten thirty four." He replied with a smirk closing his book with a snap, "And no moving just yet, yo. I mean, if you faint, there's no guarantees I'd be willing t' catchya."

"**Ha**. It is to laugh." Jayden said, sounding faintly aggravated but staying where she was (she was still a bit tired)

What she couldn't have known was that Reno didn't want another run in with Carrie and Hans…as they were currently having a pretty heated make out session behind the stacks and hadn't left the library yet.

Keeping Jayden prone and quiet would ensure that when they finished they would slip out and leave him alone. Frankly, that Carrie girl made Lil' Reno very sad (if you really need me to explain who Lil' Reno is, then you obviously missed the part where he called himself a Sex God)

"Seriously Reno, if you skip out on fourth, Fulcher's gonna be pissed." Jayden said listlessly, staring tiredly up at Reno from her position on his lap, "I don't care if this is just a cover-up so my mom won't get suspicious, you can't skip out."

"Yes, **_Mother_**. I'll make it. Don't getcher panties in a wad, yo." Reno smirked, patting her forehead and making no indication he was going anywhere anytime soon, "Has anyone ever toldja ya need t' lighten up?"

"**You**. On _**several**_ different occasions." Jayden snorted, running her fingers back through her hair, "And yet, you **still** seem to find it necessary to keep reminding me."

Reno couldn't believe anyone who could sleep like the dead could still wake up tired…but Jayden proved him wrong. She dropped off again just as Creepy Carrie and her Boy Toy slunk out from behind the stacks and out of the library.

* * *

Sephiroth could **_not_** believe his luck. He had managed to escape his captors with the assistance of Loz and Yazoo (**god** he hated admitting that he had had to ask for help) but no sooner had they escaped them than a fresh batch of fanatics were on their heels. 

And if anything, **_this_** group was ten times larger en mass than the last one and **twenty** **times** as determined to capture them (what are they – Pokémon?)

It truly was a grievance he could do without, especially seeing as he could sense that meddlesome Cloud's presence and having to constantly evade these fanatics was very distracting.

Everytime they thought they'd **_finally_** lost them or killed them all, it was as though three hundred **more** took their _**place!**_ There was no **end** to them! And they were so _**determined!**_ We're they in anyway useful to their cause, the Remnants and Sephiroth would have been impressed…but they weren't. They were just annoyed…**very**…**_verrrrry_**…annoyed.

"**Why** won't they **_die?_**" Sephiroth spat venomously, growing anxious as he had the feeling they were quickly being boxed in, "We must have slaughtered at least a **thousand** of them, but they just keep **_coming!_**"

"They're just like **Flan**. You slice them in half and you're just left with **_two_** of them." Yazoo muttered irritably, visibly exhausted after slaughter the last drove, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but they might be unstoppable."

"You're right. I **_can't_** believe you're saying that, Brother." Loz said snappishly, arm and shoulder sore and tense after all the times in a row he'd been force to use the Double Hound, "You're usually the one ripping on **me** for-!"

"Quiet." Sephiroth hissed, hushing the two with a wave of his hand, "Do you hear that? …they've found us again."

Loz and Yazoo perked up their ears and sure enough heard the distinct whispered chatter of the fanatics talking about them in hushed tones.

"We've closed in on their present location, over." One said in a nasally voice.

"Requesting permission to squeal, over." Another asked, followed by a staticky, "_Request denied, soldier! Capture then worship, over._"

"Roger that." A third said in a voice that was distinctly pubescent in that it kept cracking at inopportune times.

"_Initiate capture sequence XJ999-2._" The staticky voice commanded and before Sephiroth, Loz and Yazoo quite knew what was happening to the, a huge surge of sickeningly sweet gas invaded the building they had been cornered in.

The world began to swirl and distort and strange figures with unusual contraptions covering their faces warped to and fro before their eyes before the world went dark.

"Mission complete. Targets have been captured, over."

"_Roger that. Return to base immediately._"

* * *

"Cloud, what do you think we should do about the whole business of Sephiroth?" Rufus asked over the crusts of his sandwich, "We planned his resurrection, true, but we anticipated his demise back in Gaia." 

"True enough. This does complicate things quite a bit." Cloud sighed, blushing faintly as Tifa leaned against him with a tired sigh, "But I think that It would be for the best if we moved forward as though we were still in Gaia."

"Yes…the change in locations shouldn't effect how we handle things." Vincent agreed, not touching the food in front of him. He ate like a bird as it stood so he would eat later. Perhaps at dinner. After all, when you're undead, food wasn't really of much use.

Tifa wasn't eating at all or saying much of anything. She was exhausted from dodging the perverts who roamed the halls. She had received catcalls, lewd innuendos…a brave few attempted groping her…she was just thankful to be back with Cloud – Emo or not he still scared people (and with those guns it's no surprise **_RAWR!_**)

Tseng chewed at the food in his mouth absently as he mulled over the events that had occurred today. He had almost been pushed down a flight of stairs, witnessed a complete and total and complete disregard of respect towards an educator and watched two fights break out…all this occurred in the space of three class periods.

_"High School is almost like being back at SOLDIER…only the violence ration is higher."_ Tseng mused, _"Except if any of us were ever to behave so disrespectfully…well, I'd rather not think about it."_

"At any rate, we **should** try to develop a strategy for when they show themselves again." Tifa murmured, stealing a sip of Cloud's Capri Sun (Mikayla packed their lunches), "After all, Sephiroth can track you through the JENOVA cells."

"Right." Cloud nodded, extracting the juice from Tifa's hands and willing the faint blush away from his face as he drained the rest (indirect kiss! indirect kiss!), "So…any suggestions? I'm open to any ideas you might have."

There was a prolonged silence in which Rufus finally took a bite of his sandwich (good ole PB & J) Tseng started chewing on another carrot stick, Cloud fiddled with his empty Fritos bag and Vincent took a swig from his water bottle.

"Nothing huh?" Tifa sighed exasperatedly as all four men nodded simultaneously, "**_Greeeat_**…we're al**ready** doomed."

"Aw, its not as bad as all that Tifa." Cid said casually, returning from the restroom and swinging his legs up and onto the table.

"How so?" Yuffie snorted, massaging her knuckles and tossing a stolen soda casually in one hand. Incase you're wondering where she's been...and where that soda came from...she'd been hauled off by a random guy on her way to the lunch room who asked her to be his girl; she said no, he didn't like that, she cleaned his clock and took his soda.

"Gimme a minute. I'll think of somethin'." Cid said lazily. Tifa and Yuffie shared a look. The two of them were going to have a meeting with Elena and Jayden later to think of ways to force the men to buckle down...by whatever means necessary.

* * *

Jayden stalked irritably through the halls, trying her best to ignore the pain throbbing through not only her chest now, but her cheek as well. Some idiot had been walking around with bamboo sticks protruding from their backpack and one had sliced her across the face when the guy had taken a sharp turn. 

_"Who the hell carries around bamboo in their backpack?"_ Jayden thought tetchily, wondering A) when she could pop more of her happy pills and B) when she would give it up and go home, _"What am I talking about? This is Monroe. This idiots _flock_ to this godforsaken city."_

"Well aren't **we** in a cheery mood this morning." A snide voice chirruped from her left, "Care to let _**me**_ in on the joke?"

"Well, well, well. If it isn't **Airy Fairy Carrie**. What can I do for you?" Jayden asked listlessly, not even turning to look at the brunette she knew would be flanking her.

Carrie let loose a growl at the despised nickname but quickly managed to regain her composure. She replaced the scowl that had twisted its way across her face with a smug smirk and leaned back into Hans purposefully, the teen in question winding his arms around her waist.

"It's like this **_Ellie_** – You've been nominated for Prom Royalty." Carrie sneered, watching with delight as the shock set in on the short girl's face, "I had my people stuff the ballot box to guarentee your slot."

"And why would you do **that?**" Jayden asked through gritted teeth, "You **_must_** have known that I've neither the **time**, **_nor_** the patience for such idiotic **crap** and that I'd just drop out."

"Of course…that why I fixed it so you _**can't.**_" Carrie snickered, watching with delight as Jayden's blue eyes widened in disbelief, "This year, once you're nominated you can't drop out of the running."

"And I suppose **you** were the one who convinced our newbie principal this was a good idea, _**mm?**_" Jayden grimaced, "I **swear**, what d'you want? **_Blood?_** You already took **Hans** so I **_know_** it isn't **that**."

Carrie glanced at Hans, whose chin rested on her shoulder, then looked back at Jayden and grinned maliciously.

"I wanna **_crush_** you." She replied in a sickeningly sweet voice, "I'm **sick** and **_tired_** of you acting so **high** and **_mighty_**. You **need** to learn your **_place_**."

"My **place?**" Jayden asked, raising an eyebrow disgustedly as Hans unlatched his arms from his current girlfriend's shoulders, moved in front of Carrie and grasped Jayden's face rather roughly in his hand.

"Don't think for a **_second_**…you're higher up on the food chain than **us**. You;re nothing but second rate **_trash_**." He said coolly, running his tongue over the cut on her cheek, making her cringe…before following through with a right straight to Han's nose.

He fell to his knees, hands over his face as blood oozed between his fingers and cursing a blue streak. Jayden shoved her way past Carrie, who made no attempt to assist her boyfriend, and quickly walked off, rubbing roughly the saliva coated cut with the ball of her hand.

* * *

As she walked, she rubbed her cheek more, making it grow hot from the friction. She ran into somebody. Jayden didn't notice who or really care. Her sights were set on a drinking fountain about twenty feet away. 

Upon reaching it, she began running water over the cut and continuing to rub at the spot with the ball of her hand at a frenzied pace. The only thing that stopped her was a pair of hands pulling her away from the fountain, a bit rougher than necessary, and turning her around.

"Knock that off! You're gettin' **blood** everywhere, yo!" Reno snorted playfully. Sure he saw she was distraught, but acting overly concerned at a moment like this might only make things worse.

"I gotta wash it **_out_**." Jayden moaned, trying to twist out of Reno's grip, "If he's been **doing** with her what I **_know_** he's been doing with her I **gotta** wash it **_out_**."

She managed to get a hand free and twisted back towards the fountain, running water over the cut, sinking to her knees and groaning, "_Nnn_…probably gonna get **herpes**."

"Hey, calm **_down_**, yo. Freakin' out won't help nothin'." Reno smirked, pulling her back up to her feet, and forcing her to look at him by tilting her chin up with is knuckle, "Wanna talk about it?"

Jayden stared up at him dismally, "**Why?** **_You_** don't care."

"True. But it'll make ya feel better, **right?**" Reno pressed, grinning brightly. That last remark had stung a little. The way Jayden talked, you'd think he was an unfeeling, lust-driven sex fiend...well alright, that **_LAST_** bit was true (get the proper amount of liquor in him and he could turn into quite the nympho), but he wasn't insensitive – he felt plenty.

"…if you insist. But you brought this upon yourself you know." Jayden said, diving into the unpleasant conversation she had just held with Carrie and Hans, going the color of day old oatmeal as she spoke, "...and that's about the size of it. So I'll be dealing with Prom, shit I wasn't even going to **bother** **with** in the **_first_** place, on top of the stress of where and what the Remnants **and** the newly revived **_Sephiroth_** are doing **and**…_ugh_ I feel sick."

Reno had released her chin by this point she let her head flop forward onto his chest.

"I don't need this…I really don't." she mumbled, leaning her full weight into him feeling so tired she could barely stand, "I really don't. It's too much."

With that said, Jayden did the most feminine thing she's ever done to date – she fainted dead away.

* * *

(A/N: Sephiroth, Loz and Yazoo have been recaptured, Jayden's at her breaking point, The Turks and AVALANCHE resistance form a plan of attack. R&R!) 


	33. Cuddlyuddlyumpkins!

(A/N: Hey all! I woulda posted this sooner, but I've had company over and you've gotta be respectful of company, right? So without further adieu, READ ON!)

* * *

Jayden awoke to a sterile smell she was very familiar with. Her first thought was, _"Hospital…god-fucking-damn-it."_ but she was proven wrong when she managed to pry her eyes open. Somehow, she had managed to find her way into the back seat of her mother's SUV (apparently Mikayla just had it cleaned)

"Well, awake are we Sleepin' Beauty?" a playful voice teased from her right, chubbing her cheek before she had a chance to react, "About time, yo."

Jayden scowled sluggishly up at Reno, wondering how the hell she had managed to find her way here – she'd been upstairs…in the eight hundred wing no less. It was about as far away from her house without leaving Monroe.

"Y'fainted in case your wondering." Reno said offhandedly, answering her unspoken question, "I have I ever mentioned you're heavier than you look? Cause y'really are! And I had t' lug yer sorry ass **_all_** th' way down th' stairs, **then** to th' health room, _**then**_ out to-!"

"What happened to not catching me?" Jayden asked vaguely, blindsiding the jokes, "I thought you told me to watch my step."

"_Hmm_…did **I** say that? Let me think about that fer a minute." Reno said absentmindedly, tapping his chin as he pretended to mull it over, "_**Hmmm**_…**hmmm**…_**nope!**_ Not ringin' any bells, yo!"

"…idiot." Jayden mumbled, fighting down the urge to smile. How come he got to be in such a good, uplifting mood all the time? It really didn't seem fair. Reno needed to seriously consider taking Emo lessons from Cloud. His playful nature was bringing her out of her funk. She **liked** her funk. _**Long live the funk!**_

"Y'know, you could've called me **before** you fainted, love." Mikayla sighed from the driver's seat, "But I suppose that stubborn streak of your is just another thing you inherited from your father's side of the family."

"What're you talking about, Mommy? I **_got_** it from **you**." Jayden smirked, the chuckle her mother loosed not lost on her.

* * *

"So what _**else**_ did she inherit from'er Daddy? Her **height**, yo?" Reno snorted. He was joking around as he had seen photographs of the man and knew better – he was a giant at six feet…teetering on seven. 

"Yes actually. How did you know?" Mikayla asked, sounding mildly surprised as Reno's jaw dropped open.

"…**_seriously?_**" Reno gaped as Jayden snickered at the expression on his face, "But…but I've seen pictures of the guy. He had to be at least six foot seven! How could-I mean-**how?**"

"Simple. My Daddy was a mutant." Jayden said, feeling a definite note of satisfaction as she reached up and chubbed Reno's cheek. Finally - payback.

"True…I wish there was a better term for it though, but he was definitely a genetic mutation." Mikayla shrugged as she pulled into the housing development the Schwartz family resided, "His entire family, men and women alike, are all _**very**_ petite in stature and have **very** willowy figures like Jayden's."

"**_Soooo_**…what your sayin' is they were all short and skinny, yo?" Reno asked, earning himself a purple nurple from Jayden, "**YEEOWCH!** _**Hey!**_ I thought you're sposda be **sick**, yo! Take a **_pill_**."

_"That's what I was thinking about."_ Jayden thought listlessly, making a face at him before replying, "We're not **short**...we're just vertically challenged."

"That's th' same **_thing_**, yo!" Reno said, exasperatedly, pinching her cheek and stretching her mouth out a ways.

"Don't challenge my brain when I'm on **pain **meds. That's just _**evil**_." Jayden shot back irritably, reaching up and stretching Reno's mouth out.

"Honestly, you two. First off, wait until your well, sweet peat. Second of all, get a room." Mikayla teased, looking at the two through her rearview mirror.

"**WE'RE NOT _DATING!_**" the two cried, then, realizing they had parroted each other, "**HEY! QUIT _COPYING_ ME! …_STOP IT!_**"

"_Woo!_ It's **really** heating up back there! If you don't knock it off the windows are gonna fog up soon." Miikayla said playfully, causing her daughter and Reno to scooch as far away from one another as was humanly possible, pressing themselves against the car doors.

"Like I would **_ever_** date **that** moron!" Jayden sputtered, very red in the face at the implication her Mommy had made (who knew she could be such a perv?)

"Like I'd **ever** go out with **_that_** non-cute brat!" Reno managed, looking a bit pinker than usual from the insinuation Jayden's mother had just suggested.

But they didn't have long to feel awkward because Mikayla swiftly pulled into the driveway of the house and announced that they were home.

Reno and Jayden glowered at one another and waited for the other to make the first move…but in the case of Jayden, Mikayla made the first move for her, opening her car door and causing her to tumblee backwards, out of the automobile and into the arms of her awaiting mother.

"C'mon baby. Let's getcha inside." She smiled down at her child, assisting her to her feet. Jayden stared up at her mother for a moment, trying to assess the best move in this situation as her brain was a little muddled at the moment. After a few moments, she managed to get her legs to work…not all that well, but they were moving at least.

It took awhile, about six or seven minutes, but Jayden made it inside and in bed. Once making it there, she was accosted by Chewbacca, who decided to rest his big head on her knees and slobber on her blankets.

She smiled at him wanly and patted the Great Dane lightly on the head. So even Chewbacca could tell she was having a bad day. Lovely.

"What do you propose I do, Chewy?" Jayden asked, burying her face in his fur and in haling his doggy smell, "I can't keep this up forever…maybe it's time I fessed up to them. I don't like lying to my family…I really don't."

Chewbacca's only response was to lick her square on the mouth, causing Jayden to make a very interesting face.

"Oh, **very** **_insightful_** Chewy." She said sarcastically, wiping her mouth roughly on the back of her hand, "Some help **YOU** turned out t' be."

* * *

"**_EEEEEEK!_** It's just **so** **_kawaii!_**" a girl squealed, the flash of her camera flashing again and again as she darted around the three trapped CG characters. 

_"Ugh, pick a language and stick with it!"_ Sephiroth thought with a moan, his head throbbing as an after effect of the knockout gas and his face burning with shame, _"The indignity of this situation is almost too much to bear!"_

You see, not only had he and the Remnants been captured…they had been bound up in at least thirty-eight rolls of 40 mph duct tape (while they were still unconscious) and stuffed repeatedly into the most degrading of all outfits (at least in Sephiroth, Loz and Yazoo's personal opinion)

Currently, Sephiroth was in a Chocobo costume, Loz was sobbing quietly inside his Cactuar suit and Yazoo was sulking in a Tonberry ensemble. But this was only after being dolled up like common whores (somewhere in Monroe, Cloud felt a shiver travel up his spine), forced into Moogle & Black Mage outfits and teddy bear costumes.

Yazoo looked like he was seriously considering chewing his own head off to spare himself any further shame. After all, if you're dead, you can't experience the shame that comes with being shoved rather roughly into humiliating outfits.

Loz appeared as though had separated himself from his body to make the whole experience easier. As we al know, it's a lot more painless to watch from the outside that to actually have the crap happen to ya (good strategy Loz)

Sephiroth on the other hand was thinking of all the thing he could do to these people once he got free…and had his dear sweet Masamune in his possession again. Hell even without the employment of the six and a half foot katana, the deaths these people would die are too horrific to be put to paper.

"**Alright!** Time to move on to the next outfits!" a male voice called out causing the near ceaseless flashing to stop, "And it's the ones we've **_allllll_** been waiting for."

Ear splitting shrieks and squeals sliced through the air and made Sephiroth's migraine grown that much more.

_"Holy what's next? Flan?"_ He thought irritably, listening with grated nerves to the shuffling across the room.

_"A rabite?"_ Yazoo thought with disgust, his stomach churning and on the brink of forming an ulcer.

_"…I wonder what Brother Cloud is doing…"_ Loz mused, trying to detach himself from this debasing situation as much as possible.

When the crowds parted, a group of five strode through, looking unbelievably sinister…holding bondage gear.

That did it. The sight of the leather, chains, assless chaps and ball gags was enough to send Loz shooting back to his body, Yazoo into a forming full blown ulcer and Sephiroth into a state of shrieking terror.

At the sight of those clothes, they tapped into hidden wells of strength, and ripped the millions of layers of duct tape binding them.

"**NOOOOOOO!**" they bellowed, shooting out of the basement and up the stairs. They took hold of their weapons, lying carelessly on a sofa, and shot straight through the side of a wall leaving perfect outlines of themselves in the brick.

* * *

"So, what do you think we should do? So far, we have no plan for when they show themselves." Tifa said with a sigh, leaning back on the sofa. 

"Well I don't know about y'all, but I'm all in favor of winging it." Barrett said carelessly, pulling a beer out of the fridge and tossing one to Cid.

"You know that's not in the cards." Elena said shrewdly, shooting an irritated look at the GunArm's back.

"I know, but you hafta admit, we do th' best on th' fly." Cid smirked lazily, popping the top off his booze and downing half of it in the first go.

"…that is true." Rude said thoughtfully, stroking his chin, "In all the times we attacked your bases in the past, you did exceedingly well without a plan."

"Sooo…you're saying that we _**shouldn't**_ over think this?" Yuffie asked, rolling over so she was on her back.

"**That's** the idea." Rufus said with a nod, noticing the look on Tifa's face and sighing, "Come Ms. Lockhart, you **_must_** admit that some of your best strategies come to you in the heat of battle."

"Yeah, the times when we planned attacks on ShinRa instead of just going on the spur of the moment always ended in disaster." Cloud said pointedly, making her sigh.

"If you mean the times when we weren't all too drunk to know our limits then yes, I suppose you're right." Reeve ground out, looking ashamed.

"You mean…all those times – oh my lord." Tseng tried not to laugh. That would lower him to Reno's level. Speaking of which, he hadn't seen the red head for a while now – where was he?

"Yes, the only reason our planned out assaults didn't work is because the majority of AVALANCHE had hangovers those days." Vincent said mildly.

"Which is why I think we should just fly by th' seat of our pants, Tifa." Cid said with a grin, "If it aint broke why fix it?"

"Because it's a **_bad_** idea." She groaned, massaging her temples, "This isn't just a planet raping company were talking about here – no offense Rufus."

"None taken." He replied, waving it off with a flip of his hand.

"We're talking about **walking**, **_talking_**, **destruction!**" she cried, "I **_don't_** understand how you can take it so **lightly!**"

"Because…we've defeated him before. That's why." Cloud said easily, giving her shoulder a squeeze, "We can do it again."

"Yeah, have a little **_faith_**, girl!" Yuffie said with an upside down grin, "We're **way** better than that leather bound loser."

"…you know I **_resemble_** that remark." Cloud said mildly, making Yuffie squeak and mumble a quick apology.

"**Alright!** Now that that's settled, I'm changing the subject!" Elena said abruptly with a loud clap of her hands, "I keep hearing around Jayden's school about something called aProm'. Anyone know what it is?"

"Nope." Barrett shook his head.

"Don't look at me." Cid shrugged.

"Sorry." Tifa said, leaning into Cloud.

"I dunno." Cloud said, wrapping an arm around Tifa's shoulders.

"No idea." Tseng replied, reaching for the remote.

"Nadda clue." Rude said, eyes training on the T.V. as Tseng flipped it on.

"I've been here all day helping Mrs. Schwartz around the house so…" Reeve trailed off.

Vincent just shrugged listlessly

"I do." Rufus said mildly, causing all eyes to turn instantaneously on him. He coughed to clear his throat, "It's a dance, and a rather extravagant one. I only know about it because I had a girl ask me to go with her during second period and I had her explain it to me under the pretense that they didn't hold one in my country…which is true now that I think about it."

"Interesting." Elena said, a predatory gleam in her eyes.

"Very." Yuffie nodded, a similar twinkle sparking her own.

"I agree." Tifa nodded, an almost identical glimmer in her eyes.

The men in the room felt a sudden rise in the room's pressure and inched away from the women who were now sporting rather scary, feral grins.

* * *

"What th' **_hell's_** up with that wrist band, yo? Init sposda be, I don't know, on your **wrist?**" Reno snorted, as Jayden scowled at him from her bed. 

She had gotten bored, found the wristband in question and slipped it on her ankle and was entertaining herself by switching her leg back and forth.

"Shut up. You really think I have the energy to haul my ass out of be just t' deal with this stupid thing? …**_shut up!_**" Jayden cried, pinking slightly as Reno kept laughing, "I'll shove my dirty **socks** down your throat!"

This did nothing except make Reno laugh harder at her.

"**SHUT UH-_ACK!_**" Jayden gasped as she attempted to get out of bed and had her knees give out on her. Before she hit the ground, she felt something hoist her upright.

"Sheesh…you're more trouble than you're worth, yo." Reno snorted, giving her head a pat, "So…have y'decided what t'do about that girl?"

"There's nothing I really **can** do. I'll just have to do like I did with all of you." Jayden said dully, giving his chest a light punch, "Grit my teeth and bear it."

"Well gee, thanks for making us sound like a _**plague**_'re somethin'." Reno scowled, tweeking her nose.

"You're welcome…now ya mind helping me back to bed now…**please**…before my brother's come home and disembowel me?" Jayden asked blandly, looking up at Reno listlessly, "They have this thing about me being within spitting distance of guys I'm not related to – it doesn't happen."

"Whaddabout **_Hans_**, yo?" Reno snorted, pinching her cheek and smirking a bit, "He's a guy aint he…unless he's the most masculine **girl** I've ever met."

"**_Shaddup_**…they didn't **know** about'im just like they don't know about _**you**_ and the **rest** of the Gaia Gang." Jayden scowled irritably.

"Oh-**_ho_** how convenient." Reno smirked, looking as though he was plotting something…which he was, "Then maybe I should tell your brother bear's whose takin' you to that prom thingy."

"Whaddya mean, whose taking me to prom? " Jayden asked warily, eyeing the red-head through nervous eyes, "**No ones** takin' me t' prom. I'm goin' **by** **my_self_**. End of story."

"Oh no your **not**." Reno smirked in a way that was almost sinister, pinching her cheek and stretching out her mouth a ways, "I'll be takin' ya, yo. This 'prom' thing sounds in'erestin'."

"'ell hits **_nah!_**" Jayden said indignantly reaching up and pinching Reno's nose shut in retaliation, "Jush a 'uncha 'eeple 'akin' **out** ah naht!"

(TRANS: Well it's not! Just a bunch of people making out all night!)

"Sound fun t' me." Reno said releasing the side of her face casing her to let go if his nose in turn.

"You would think that, ultra perv. Why doncha just take **Carrie?**" Jayden asked scathingly, giving the hand still around her waist a pinch.

"Howabout **no?** That girl makes Lil Reno a might sad if'n ya catch my drift, yo." Reno said, breaking into a grin at the disgusted look Jayden chucked at him.

"Why do all guys name their piece? **_Why?_**" she groaned, letting her head fall forward, "And you are **not** takin' me. That's final!"

* * *

(A/N: Prom comes sooner than expected and the group from Gaia is roped into attending --even Reeve has a date!- Who will be the next prom queen? Carrie? Jayden? Someone else? And now that they've met their fans, Sephiroth and the Remnants are desperate to return to Gaia! Will they find Cloud? Or be captured by their rabid fans again? R&R!) 


	34. Eewww! What reeks, dude?

(A/N: A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go - I'm on a job hunt now - a hunting we will go! So dis is why this chappie took so long! So without further adieu, READ ON!)

* * *

"_Ughhh_…**why** do they insist on playing the **_same_** songs at every single dance on the pimply face known as human existence?" Jayden grumbled, her arm unwillingly looped with Reno's who looked more than happy to be in the Sky Church.

Remember how she said her brother's would never allow guys to take her out…ever? Well, it turns out they wanted her to start broadening her social life…plus they knew Reno…Keith…whatever…and were totally cool with him taking her, much to Jayden's absolute horror.

So now you know how she had come about being stuffed inside a short black tube dress like a veritable bratwurst (that her MOTHER of all people had shoved her into), and dragged along kicking and screaming.

Tifa, Yuffie and Elena on the other hand couldn't have looked more elated if they tried. They also couldn't have looked more beautiful if they tried making Jayden feel more like crawling under a rock only occasionally emerging to scourge for rodents to eat.

Tifa looked gorgeous in a slinky pale blue number, Yuffie looked spectacular in a short forest green frock and Elena looked stunning in flowing red gown.

Before you even start, no. Elena wasn't with Tseng. Elena was with Rude. Tseng had gone with a girl who had asked him a day before the dance in question. Vincent had decided to stay home and superintend Cid and Barrett as they had decided to forgo the whole event. Those two left unsupervised was never a good idea.

The couples upon getting their hands stamped, had hurried off to the dance floor, while Jayden had wandered off to a table, hauling Reno along for the ride. She may have been forced to participate in the stupidity otherwise known as Prom, but nothing could be said or done to make her get on that dance floor. Jayden had biger fish to fry.

Reeve, you see, had decided to make an unexpected appearance with a date of his own…Mikayla Schwartz. So needless to say, Jayden's focus was all directed on him. She'd been giving him the Stink Eye all evening long, and that included the entire limo ride up (the one her mother had sprung for).

In fact, Jayden was currently glowering at the man quite fiercely as he led her mother off to dance. Unless he was still possessed by her father (always a possibility but not very likely) no man, whether she knew them or not, was allowed to put his hands on her. It was a childish way of think, she knew…but Jayden really didn't care

"What's **_your_** problem?" Reno snorted, catching her sulky stare as it drifted over to her parent for the umpteenth time, "This a dance, yo. You're suposda be dancin'."

"Yeah? Well in case you haven't **noticed**, I'm not exactly in the best shape for it." Jayden said irritably, eyes locked on Reeve's back as she attempted to burn a hole through his spine, "The doc says I still have at **_least_** another week of-!"

"**Excuses**, **_excuses!_** C'mon!" Reno smirked, tugging her to her feet a bit rougher than necessary and half dragged her half led her onto the dance floor, "You can whine all you want, but I'm gonna have fun t'night, yo."

"If you wanna have fun, then why don't you go ask one of the hundreds of girls who've been raping you with their eyes all night if **they** wanna dance?" Jayden snapped crossly, nearly stepping on Yuffie's foot as she went.

"Because they don't make th' fun screechy noises you do." Reno snickered, as he turned her to face him, nearly smacking Cloud in the face as he did so, "Seriously, I've **_never_** had a girl put up **this** much of've fight before, yo."

"Aww…boo-**_frickedy_**-hoo. I feel so **bad** for you." Jayden said sarcastically, noting with an inward scream of frustration that she'd lost sight of her mother and Reeve, "I'm **_sooo_** sure I just made your overinflated **ego** spring a leak…yeah right."

* * *

"D-did we lose'em" Loz gasped out, out of breath after running non stop for what seemed like days on end. 

"In our **_dreams_**. There they are." Yazoo groaned, forcing his throbbing legs forwards and dragging Loz along with him.

"Where do they get the **energy** from?" Sephiroth moaned, on the verge of collapse as he couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten.

The answer to Sephiroth's question, ironically enough, was energy drinks. The crazed fanatics had been tailing them for the past week and a half; from the border of Nome, Alaska to the outskirts of Seattle, WA.

Because of all the caffeine they imbibed as well as their incalculable numbers, they could go days without sleep before switching out drivers (if you're truly curious, they're traveling by hi-jacked busses)

The Remnants and One Winged Angel, having no caffeinated goodness pumping through their veins were losing steam fast…meaning the lovesick fans were quickly catching up.

But new hope quickly shot through their veins in a strange form – Cloud Strife's energy signature – very, VERY close by; within spitting distance actually.

"**_He's close!_**" Sephiroth practically screamed. It wasn't his fault he was so out of character – blame almost a week of sleepless nights and numerous encounters with psychotic fans.

"_Shhhh! They'll _hear_ you!_" Yazoo and Loz hissed, clamping their hands over his mouth…resulting in the inevitable,

"OWUCH!" Loz sobbed, jerking back his hand and cradling the spot Sephiroth had chomped down on.

"_Was that _REALLY_ necessary?_" Yazoo hissed venomously, massaging the area on his wrist his 'sibling' had latched on to.

"_Cloud is close by._" Sephiroth whispered, lowering his voice, eyes darting over his shoulder out of paranoia, "_I _think_ he may hold the key to returning back to Gaia - to getting us off of this…this _monstrosity_ of a world!_"

"_Collaborate with the traitor? Have you gone_ mad?" Yazoo cried in a low voice, ducking down slightly as a small group of the fans dashed past their hiding spot.

"_Well if you have a better idea I'd love to hear it brother!_" Loz whispered fiercely, eyes dancing with panicked tears, "_I mean, just _look_ at what we've been reduced to!_"

"_For the love of JENOVA, we're hiding in a _dumpster_, Yazoo!_" Sephrioth chimed, looking about ready to pull a Loz and start bawling himself.

Yazoo looked from Loz, to Sephiroth, looking desperate beyond all recognition. to the putrid mess he swam in, too disgusting for words…to the space in which light filtered in to the foul smelling space and allowed them to see the maniacs who pursued them.

"…_even if we manage to find him, what do you think the odds are he would help us?_" Yazoo muttered frustratedly.

"_We'll _MAKE _him help!_" Sephiroth hissed, Loz nodding furiously in agreement, "_At this point, I don't care if I have to get on my knees and_ BEG! _HE _WILL _HELP!_"

"_**THERE THEY ARE!**_"

"**GET'EM!**"

"Run?" Loz yelped, flying out of the rancid slop before receiving an answer.

"Definitely!" Yazoo cried, hot on his brother's heels.

"You don't have to tell **_me_** twice!" Sephiroth bleated in agreement, taking off after them.

* * *

Jayden hung out comfortably behind a row of bleachers, doing her best to shut out the couple making out only ten feet away. 

Reno seemed to have a near **limitless** supply of energy…which he dipped into to force her to dance to every fast song played. What Reno seemed to forget was that Jayden wasn't superhuman…and that she was still injured, so keeping up with his seemingly **_ENDLESS_** source of energy was draining her HP fast!

Jayden thought that the reason Reno was such a bouncing ball of energy lately was because he hadn't gotten laid in the last week or so…and because of this, was bubbling with an over abundance of energy that would have normally been put out towards…other things she'd rather not think about.

But if this was true, Reno really **SHOULD** just go talk to Carrie. She could help him remedy that particular problem…and ensure Jayden wouldn't have to start looking up orthopedists – her feet were **_KILLING_** her! She only managed to escape Reno at all because a faceless guy had tromped on his foot and provided a narrow window of opportunity for her to escape.

Not that Jayden was loving this particular hideout. God, couldn't those two get a **room?** Besides, she was almost **_certain_** that they were two of the chaperones, meaning they could get into **serious** trouble if they were caught. But on closer inspection, Jayden saw to her horror, they were –

_"MOM?"_ She shrieked in her mind, her jaw going slack, _"Th-then that means…oh…my…GOD! MY EYES! MY EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEES!"_

Jayden stumbled out from behind the bleachers blindly, straight into Tifa and Cloud, who saw how hard she was laughing and wondered what was so funny.

"What's the joke?" Tifa asked, quirking an eyebrow at the skinny girl, who was currently holding onto her bicep to stay standing.

"I'm blind! I'm **_bliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind!_**" Jayden mewled, burying her face in Cloud's shoulder, oblivious to the strange looks he was giving her.

"What's wrong with **her?**" Yuffie wanted to know, having taken a break from dancing to get something to eat.

"We're…not sure yet." Cloud said slowly, wondering how long it for Jayden to calm down long enough to tell them what was up.

"My mom…**_Reeve_**…oh **god!**" She wheezed out, mirthful tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What about them?" Rufus asked, appearing beside Yuffie sipping a glass of punch listlessly, "We're they making out ore something?"

"Oh as if." Elena said with a snort, appearing on Rude's arm to join them after seeing the rapidly growing assembly.

"How did you **_know?_**" Jayden gaped, eyes wide, her statement causing many a jaw to drop.

"…s-seriously?" Rude asked carefully, eyes widening behind his shades…which for some reason he still found necessary to wear in the dimly lit ballroom.

"That tears it. Dante is still in partial possession of Reeve." Tseng said irritably, having been ditched by his date as she didn't particularly like playing the part of a wallflower.

"…well, whatever th' case, at least they're enjoyin' themselves, yo." Reno said directly behind Jayden, making her jump about a foot in the air.

_"NO MORE DANCING!"_ Jayden inwardly screeched, praying swiftly for a distraction. An explosion, a strreaker, a random drunk puking on Reno's rented tux – **ANYTHING!** And apparently, God decided to throw her a bone this time around.

"Hey everyone! We having a good time tonight?" the greenhorn principal, Mr. Lombardi asked cheerfully over the mike, causing cheers to rise from the crowd…though the vast majority wanted him to get the lead out so they could get back to either A) dancing or B) making out.

"Good! Well, I suppose I'll keep holding you all in suspense and announce our this years Prom Royalty." He said jovially, "As you all know, our princes this year are Hans Oneida, Jason Uli, and Gil Hildebrand!"

Lombardi paused for the amount of time he felt was necessary for the students to applaud.

"And our princesses of two thousand seven are Carrie DeMarco, Lacey Thompson and Jayden Schwartz! Give' these lovely ladies a hand!" he said enthusiastically, waiting for the clapping to die down, "And now…this years Prom King is…Jason Uli!"

Hans kicked the refreshment table, earning him some very dirty looks for his poor sportsmanship, while Gil shook Jason's hand as he made his way on stage.

"And…your prom queen for two thousand seven is…!"

Carrie looked as though she already had the whole thing won and was making her way towards the stage. The other candidate was looking a mixture of hopeful and nervous while Jayden wore a look of complete indifference.

"LACEY THOMPSON!"

Upon the announcement, Carrie stopped dead in her tracks…half way up the stage stairs I might add, her jaw dropping somewhere in the vicinity of her knees in total disbelief.

Lacey, the other candidate, started crying because she was so happy and had to be assisted on stage by her date.

Jayden had started alternating between laughing hysterically and whistling shrilly through her pinkies and shouting congratulations at Lacey. She had to be led back to a table because Cloud and Vincent were growing a bit concerned that she might collapse from lack of air.

"Oh-oh **god!** Now I'm **_glad_** I came…the look on Carrie's **face**…**_so_** worth the trip." Jayden giggled, leaning back against her chair as she watched the still crying Lacey receive her tiara, scepter, and cape.

* * *

"Vincent…does it **really** feel **_that_** good dude?" Reno asked sometime later, watching with a very amused expression on his face as Jayden ground her pointy elbow into the undead man's back, causing an absurdly blessed out expression to form on Vincent's face. 

"Mmnuh-huhhh…'sgot th' elbows 'f 'n angel." He babbled incoherently, slumping forward a ways so she could reach an even sorer spot between his shoulder blades.

The party had returned around midnight and, much to their surprised, the house was neither on fire, in shambles, nor had it been gambled away…but this was only so because poor Vincent had been chasing down a very inebriated Cid and Barrett **allllllllllll** **niiiiiiiiight** _**lonnnnnnnnng**_.

It was unbelievably taxing work. They had tried jumping off the roof – he had to act as a makeshift landing pad, they had also tried making mixed drinks in Mikayla's blender…without the lid – guess who wound up cleaning the kitchen? Cid almost managed to jimmy the locks on the SUV…thankfully he passed out midway through that.

After the pair had passed out, Vincent had dragged them into the garage and locked them inside…just in case they decided to wake up (you can never be too careful after all)

So now you know why he was receiving the rub down – Vincent deserved it after a night like that!

"Me next!" Reno said loudly, causing Jayden to pause what she was doing, look at him drably…and reply, "Not even in your dreams." Before returning to what she was doing.

"Besides, I hurt all over, and I'm **only** doing this as a courtesy." She said a bit more snappishly than was necessary because she was tired, "Just like going to prom with you was a courtesy to my brothers."

"Oh really?" Tseng asked, quirking an eyebrow, "And why would you go out with someone if your brothers asked you to?"

"**_No comment._**" Jayden said quickly. The last thing she needed was for them to find out about those humiliating pictures of her in that bunny costume her Gran-Gran had insisted on making her when she was seven – Kyle had been using those freakin' photos for blackmail ever since he dug'em out of storage.

Feeling Vincent had been fully compensated by this point, She announced that she was going to bed and turned on her heel to do so. Jayden was shocked when she made it all the way up to her room, into her jammies and into bed…but wasn't surprised at all when she was pulled out of her snuggly sheets by Reno.

"**C'mon!** Up and at'em!" He said cheerfully, completely immune to the death glare she was hurling at him

"What…in the **_hell_**…are you doing?" Jayden growled out venomously, wishing now, more than ever, she had some sort of super-secret special ability that would allow her to kill Reno with a thought.

"You owe me a slow dance!" Reno grinned, loving the gape he got out of the short girl, "And, if you don't keep it down, you're gonna wake you're family up, yo!"

"God…**damn** **it** you suck." Jayden hissed as he smoothly moved her into position, not caring at all how much her feet and calves hurt.

**_Lord_** she hated him - the fact that he was able to dance **AND** avoid the clutter littering her floor only pissed her off more. Did Reno simply not know the meaning of the word '_tired'_? …why didn't he just go find a hooker?

Reno felt her head fall against his chest and allowed a smug smile to cross his face.

"See? No one can resist a man who can dance." He announced pompously, straightening his posture so he was a tall as possible.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. If it makes you feel like the tough shit you think you are." Jayden muttered irritably – when was he going to go away so she could go to bed?

Reno stopped and Jayden sang a silent cheer as she moved to go back to bed...only to have him stop her (DAMMIT!)

"Whaddabout my goodnight kiss, yo?" Reno taunted, tapping his lips with is index finger, backing up a few steps when Jayden cracked her knuckles, "Aww! Everybody but me? I'm so unloved!"

"Then go out...and find a prostitute you idiot!" Jayden hissed, fists balled and white knuckled.

"But that's no fun!" Reno pouted.

* * *

(A/N: The Remnants and One Winged Angel find Jayden's house and beg Cloud for help - will he listen? And Jayden fesses up...to her mother. R&R!) 


	35. Knock It OFF, You TURDS!

(A/N: I'm in the money! Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo! I'm so happy! I have a job I like this time! That's why I haven't updated for a while. Ya forgive me? At anyrate, here's the next cahpie. ENJOY IT!)

* * *

"You alright, man?" Rude asked, glancing up as Reno entered the living room, grumbling loudly and rubbing his nose, "Why's your face so red?"

"Cause a **short**, _**scrawny**_ **wildcat** with a **_wicked_** **uppercut** **_punched_** **_me_** in the **puss**, yo." Reno muttered irritably, massaging his injured snout, "All I _**asked**_ was if she ever gone to third **base** before!"

"…and why is **_that_** any of **your** business?" Tifa asked exasperatedly, looking at Reno disgustedly from her spot snuggled against Cloud on the sofa, "You aren't her **boyfriend** **_OR_** her brother!"

"Yeah, **and?**" Reno said with a shrug, pushing Rude's legs off the sofa so he could sit down, "It's not like it's a big _**deal**_ or somethin'."

"What hole did **you** crawl out of?" Yuffie snorted, rolling her eyes, "Yes, it _**is**_ a big deal. At least it is from a **girl's** stand point."

"Even a _**fool**_ knows that, Reno. Good **lord**." Tseng groaned, halfway asleep on the sofa and desperately wishing that everybody would just shut up.

"_**Really?**_" Reno blinked, looking as though he was wondering if Tseng was joking as he examined the expressions on everyone else in the room.

"Yeah Reno. Women don't exactly go **broadcasting** their _**sex**_-**_lives_** to total strangers." Elena said acerbically, poking him in the rib with her toe, "Not really up there on our to-do list."

"Yes, Reno. Only the crass broadcast their sex-lives to the public." Rufus murmured in agreement…although he himself had been known to chat it up quite extensively in the men's locker room after a good roll in the hay.

And even though Reno knew that Rufus was contradicting himself…he wasn't stupid enough to backsass his boss. After all, Reno wubbed his paycheck **far** too much to say _**anything**_ that might put his salary in any imminent danger.

But while he couldn't target his boss, he could aim at the next best thing.

"But **Tseng** talks about how much he's scored all the time." Reno said sulkily, inwardly laughing at the look on Elena's face – hey, he was _**nothing**_ if not **truthful**.

"**Are you _serious?_**" she shrieked as loud banging came at the door. It was ignored as all focused in on the spectacle of Tseng being demasculated by his un-girlfriend. But when the knocking became more and more insistent, Cloud finally eased Tifa off of him and pushed himself off the sofa.

"Yeah, yeah. Nobody get up. I'll get it." Cloud snorted as he hefted himself up and strode towards the front entryway. But upon opening the front door though, Cloud instantly wished he didn't.

"**YOU!**" he roared, magicking his Buster Sword from out of seemingly no where (…how did he do that?) at the sight of the One Winged Angel and the Remnants standing in the doorway, looking completely exhausted.

"…put…the sword down…_**please?**_" Sephiroth muttered exhaustedly, massaging the bridge of his nose, "We've had a hard enough night…week…whatever, just…let us in."

With that, Sephiroth pushed his way past a shellshocked Cloud, Loz and Yazoo darting in after him, slamming the door and locking it.

"What the hell happened to **you?**" Cloud asked in amazement, taking in obvious bits of garbage clinging to their clothing and staining their snow-white hair as Yazoo and Loz cautiously peeked through the blinds.

"Are they gone yet?" Yazoo mumbled nervously, eyes widening into saucers as the sight of an all too familiar mini-van drove slowly down the road, a fangirl leaning out the passenger window and scanning the streets with her eyes.

"**_AAK!_**" Loz yelped as he, Sephiroth and Yazoo shot to the floor in a cowering heap, Cloud watching the whole scene unfold with a mixture of astonishment, shock and disbelief.

"What…the hell…**happened** to you guys?" he repeated, shaking his head incredulously and scratching his head.

"Bunny suits…bunny suits…bunny…suits…" Loz mumbled over and over again, eyes wide as saucers as he rocked back and forth.

* * *

"What th' **_FUCK'S_** goin'…ah **HELL NO!**" Jayden moaned at the top of the stairs, color draining from her face. She had been at the pinnacle of sleep, in that warm, dreamless R.E.M. state…when the commotion downstairs had jolted her awake – much to her displeasure. 

Jayden had assumed the obvious – Cid and Barrett had freed themselves from the garage and were wreaking havoc on her family room…but instead she was greeted the very unwelcome sight of the One Winged Angel and the Remnants huddled around her front door – an unwanted sight…**_especially_** at one a.m.

Before she could ask Cloud what the hell the three embodiments of pure evil were doing in her house, the sight of Loz white as a ghost and shaking like a leaf caught her attention. She allowed her gaze to travel over the faces of Sephiroth and Yazoo…they were both gaunt, pale, dingy and…much to her surprise, afraid.

"Alright. I am ready to kick **_every last one of you_** **out of my house** _**unless**_ you tell me what's up." Jayden said coolly, folding her arms and glaring down at them (nope, being rudely awakened never put one in their best frame of mind)

"I'm really not sure." Cloud replied, his grip still tight on the hilt of the Buster Sword and eyeing Sephiroth warily in case he tried anything…which wasn't very likely seeing as he was scruched up under the piano.

"Whaddya mean '_you're not really sure_'? **You let'em in!**" Jayden snapped, no longer in the mood to be nice, "Let me tell you something, when I was in Gaia, ensuring the survival of Gaians became my sole purpose. And if that meant dragging _**those**_ bastards down to hell with me, then **SO BE IT!**"

She slammed her fist into the wall…unintentionally driving her hand straight through it (hey, dry wall – whaddya gonna do?) but at the moment was a little too pissed off to care.

"And after all that, I **_finally_** come home, hope to get some rest , but **ohhhhh** **_no_**, **that** aint on the agenda at _**all!**_" Jayden snarled, stomping down the stairs (yes people, she's going off the deep end) "Instead, I hafta play nice-nice and go to a dance I **never** wanted to go to in the **_first place_**, while recovering from a **gunshot** **wound** that **_you_** gave me, thank you **OH SO MUCH FOR _THAT_ _ONE_ YAZOO**, and after I come home, tired, achy and hoping to get some rest, I'm rudely awaken to the sounds of the three people I've sworn to help you destroy _**in my family room!**_"

Pain was stabbing through her chest at by now and she had drawn the Turks and the remaining members of the AVALANCHE resistance into the entryway, but she chose to ignore all this. Jayden was far too angry to care.

* * *

"What's going – what the hell are **they** doing here?" Yuffie asked abruptly, eyes locking on Sephiroth, Loz and Yazoo, mouth twisting into a frown. 

"How th' hell would **_we_** know?" Tifa growled, cracking her knuckles loudly, "But one things for certain, they're leaving now."

"**WHAT? _NO!_ PLEASE!**" Loz cried, snapping out of his funk at the thought of being fed to the wolves.

"…did he just say…the 'P' word?" Reno gawked, jaw falling about his ankles in pure shock.

"Don't make us go back out there. We're begging you!" Sephiroth said, looking up at them from under the safety of the piano.

"Is anyone else as weirded out as I am?" Cloud asked, gazing around the crowded room and found to his satisfaction, that he wasn't alone in feeling stunned.

"And why, pray tell, shouldn't we throw you out?" Rufus asked, flipping his hair out of his eyes absently as he stared at the cowering trio.

"Insane…the whole lot of them…totally mad…" Yazoo mumbled, wrapping his arms around his knees and hugging them to his chest.

"Well, _**that**_ helped a heap." Tseng sighed grouchily, rubbing some eye gunk away after being woken up for the second time that night.

"Why are we all standing around and talking?" Rude asked, pulling at the hem of his gloves, "Let's just toss'em** out!**"

"Let's be rational about this." Reeve said evenly, "They do appear to be showing all the traditional symptoms of severe psychological trauma. Why not at least listen to what they have to say?"

"Because they're the embodiments of all that is evil? Because they're trying to unmake existence?" Elena snapped, eyes flashing, "How're **_those_** for reasons?"

"We...we just want to go home." Sephiroth murmured shakily, still not leaving his stronghold beneath the piano, "Those fanatics…th-the things they **did**…what they **_tried_** to-"

* * *

"**What** on **_earth_** is going **on** down here? Do you have **_any_** idea what **time** it is?" Mikayla's voice cried, raspy from sleep at the top of the stairs, "Jayden what in the **_hell_** are you **do**-who are **_those_** people? What's going **on?**" 

Jayden found herself quite unable to move at the moment. Her ability to instantly fabricate plausible cover ups for situations like these seemed to have gone on vacation and she was left with no other option but the one she'd been dreading since day one – telling her mother the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

"Mommy? Come here." Jayden said, looking positively drained as she beckoned to her mother, "You're gonna want to sit down for this one. And…I know it's unbe-freakin'-lievably late…but try to keep an open mind."

"…okay." Mikayla said slowly, looking a bit apprehensive, silently praying that her daughter wasn't about to tell her she was part of an illegal prostitution scam and all those male 'exchange students' were her pimps.

Jayden dragged Mikayla to the kitchen table and helped her into a seat, and before taking a seat herself, fetched something from off the computer desk.

"Now remember…open mind." Jayden said, swallowing hard, "Those…'exchange students' out there…they aren't exchange students at all. I lied. They're actually game characters from Final Fantasy Seven."

Mikayla opened her mouth to say what any rational person would – _"That's completely ludicrous! Besides, you don't even play video games"_

"I know what you're thinking and I thought it was insane too." Jayden sighed, running her fingers back through her hair, "And yes, before you say word, just hear me out to the very end."

Mikayla closed her mouth and nodded after moment of awkward silence.

"First off…I'm a gamer. I have been for years." Jayden mumbled, blushing a dark shade of red at the admission, "I know you think video games are mind numbing trash but…moving on. I have proof to back up what I say."

Mikayla raised an eyebrow and folded her arms over her chest, an indication for he daughter to whip out her evidence. She did and it came in the form of a Final Fantasy Seven gamer's manual.

She flipped it open to the CHARACTERS section and pushed it over to her mother, watching intently as Mikayla's eyes grew wider…and wider, she loosed a gasp now and then, and grew steadily paler.

"I'm not lying…see? I'm not insane." Jayden said awkwardly, shifting in her seat, "So…"

"Why did you keep this from me?" Mikayla asked quietly, a scary shade of liquid paper white now and shaking like a leaf as all her concepts of reality were hurled out the window.

"To keep you safe…but I failed." Jayden muttered, eyes darting back towards the family room, "The main baddie managed to track them down and…Mommy? Mom?"

Mikayla swayed in her seat and passed out, Jayden barely catching her before her head cracked open on the hard wood flooring.

"**_REEVE!_ Getcher ass in here!**" Jayden screeched, causing the man to dart into the kitchen and rush to help his kinda sorta but not quite girlfriend.

"I can handle things in here." He said, rubbing Mikayla's pulse points, "Why don't you see if you can lend any insight as to what should be done about those three?"

"Alright, but if she freaks out when she comes to, it's my fault." Jayden said, as she made her way towards the family room.

"And why is…oh." Reeve murmured softly, spotting the Player's manual opened to his character page on the table, "I see."

* * *

Jayden re-entered the family room and frowned. This was far too stupid to be dealing with this late at night. Besides, now that she had vented her rage, and confessed to her mom, she was too emotionally drained to care if the Evil Threesome stayed or went. 

"C'mon. On your feet. All of you." She snapped, grabbing Loz by the forearm and Yazoo by the ear, tugging both of them to their feet rather roughly, "This applies to you too, Piano Man." She snapped at Sephiroth, giving him poke with her toe.

"**_What_**…are you **doing?**" Tifa gaped as Sephiroth crawled out from under the piano after a few more sharp pokes to the ribs.

"They're **_stinkin'_** up my **house.**" Jayden said irritably, "It smells like they took a dip in a **_sewer_** (actually, it was a dumpster!) and I'm **not** letting that smell get into the **_carpets_**. They're taking showers and trashing these clothes cause they **reek**. What they do after that, I **_really_** don't care cuz I'll be in bed - asleep and happy. Now **move it!** **_All of you!_**"

Jayden then pinched, poked, pushed and shoved all three of te Silver Haired Men up the stairs, down the hall and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind them.

The AVALANCHE resistance and the Turks then watched as she stalked back into her room and slammed the door shut.

"She **can't** be serious." Elena said shakily, mouth twitching nervously.

"Besides, there's no way they'd-" Cloud's mouth fell into an 'o' of surprise at what he heard next.

"No…**_way_**…" Rufus mumbled, eyes wide in disbelief as he heard the new sound too.

"They're **actually** taking a **_shower_**." Yuffie said incredulously, shaking her head.

* * *

(A/N: Mikayla wonder's if Jayden's confession was a dream, Sephiroth put Jayden on the spot in front of Reno...and she aint too pleased about it. In fact, she threatens to call up some of the fangirls he was running from! The group goes to visit Jayden's Grandpa. R&R!) 


	36. Dolls, Dye and Disasters

(A/N: Hey all! I apologize that this one took so long! I was gone all weekend and yet another job interview! Sigh, my schedule's getting hectic, ne? At any rate, READ ON!)

* * *

"Hey…hey, um…lady?"

"_Mm-nuh-uh-y-yeah?_" Jayden mumbled in her sleep, not even pretending to be awake as she rolled over onto her side.

"Can…can we sleep here tonight? Everywhere else is packed."

"_Mnuh-bm-hm-sure…_" Jayden burbled, snuggling further down in her covers without even cracking open an eye to see who she was talking to.

"Thanks."

What came next was a rustling of sheets and a series of annoyed grunts, followed shortly after by contented sighs.

"Good night lady."

"_Mn-hmm…night._" Jayden murmured, still not waking up as she nestled even further under the covers and brought her fists up under her chin. However, the next morning, she regretted not waking up.

Before she even pried her eyes opened, she wondered why her waist felt so…heavy. When she finally **did** open her eyes, Jayden had to bite back a scream. Loz was asleep in her bed with his arm over her waist like she was a stuffed toy, Yazoo was draped across her chair and Sephiroth was sprawled out on her sofa.

Jayden tried to control her breathing. These were a trio of _**very**_ dangerous, albeit **psychotic** men, all three were **_fully_** capable of popping her head off like a cork and all three were in her room…and luckily so were Tifa and Yuffie.

Jayden could only hope one of them would wake up soon and help her get the hell out of her room alive. Until then, she wasn't going to so much as twitch. After all, this may have been a light grip for Loz, but it was still like being squeezed to death by a boa constrictor.

* * *

Finally, after seemingly endless minutes of waiting, Tifa began to stir and loosed a loud yawn. Jayden inwardly did a happy dance as Tifa pushed herself upright and stared blearily at her…eyes going wide in shock. 

She opened her mouth to yell, but the quick zipping action Jayden pulled across her lips silenced her.

"_Help me out of here!_" Jayden mouthed, looking at Tifa desperately, "_I can't get out on my own!_"

"_I'll see what I can do._" Tifa mouthed back, looking at the One Winged Angel and Remnants apprehensively, "_I don't know how light these guys sleep though._"

"_Just do what you can, okay? This guys squeezing the life outta me!_" Jayden mouthed as Tifa stepped carefully over Yuffie and made her way to the edge of the bed. She surveyed the situation ruefully – Loz had a death grip on his…stuffed toy…and it would take some work to get Jayden free.

Tifa swallowed hard moved in cautiously, working each one of Loz's fingers one at a time until they loosened their grip on Jayden's waist. Finally the last one loosened enough for Tifa to grab the skinny girl in one arm and shove a pillow under Loz's hand with the other as it clenched tightly around the space Jayden used to be.

Tifa then snatched up the still snoozing Yuffie and tiptoed warily, some how avoiding all the creaky spots, out of Jayden's bedroom and down the stairs and upon entering the living room, breathed a noisy sigh of relief.

"Let's **_never_** do that again." Tifa mumbled, setting Yuffie and Jayden on the adjacent sofa before flopping down on the couch.

"Sounds like a plan." Jayden murmured, curling up on her side and preparing to go back to sleep…that is until –

**-KRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKK-**

Jayden had a spaz attack on a global scale that caused her to fly off the sofa at the sudden noise (Yuffie slept right through it) as Cid and Barrett broke the door to the garage down and came waltzing into the living room.

"Wonder how we wound out there?" Cid mused as he walked across the discombobulated door and into the living room.

"Beats th' shit outta me dude." Barrett shrugged, stepping over the door and walking towards the kitchen to get something to eat.

* * *

Mikayla stared at the ceiling, wondering if it held the answers to her questions. She replayed what she could recollect from the night before on her mind again, turning it over and over again as she picked it apart in search of solutions. 

From what Mikayla could recall from the muddled mess that was her mind, she vaguely remembered Jayden saying something obscenely stupid…along the lines of the exchange students were pixilated.

That in and of itself should have convinced her it was a dream, but then there was that itty-bitty portion where Jayden had shown her some pretty convincing proof…it even outted that sweet man Reeve as being non-existent.

Mikayla really wasn't sure what to think. Whether this was Jayden venting internalized stress from being in closed quarters with so many people or just a very realistic dream, it left her feeling very confused.

I mean, for a dream, it was pretty realistic. Mikayla could have sworn she had felt the carpet beneath her feet as she walked down stairs, felt the smooth pages of the book against her fingertips…Mikayla even swore she smelled something rancid as she passed the trio cowering in her family room.

All in all, very vivid…but still, it wasn't as though she hadn't had some pretty lucid dreams before. Mikayla was just surprised she hadn't sleepwalked to Snohomish again. If had done that again…oh lord, Charlie would have been so upset.

But then again, if got out of bed, and those silver haired, somewhat smelly, boys still happened to be afoot…well then, someone was going to have to dial up the wacko basket and inform them they were getting a new addition.

Mikayla didn't think she'd handle…computer programming coming to life all that well. But, what if those three did still happen to be about and they were just a couple of Jayden's friends? It was all too frustrating. For the moment, Mikayla was going to go about her business as though she and her daughter had never had that conversation…after all, she wasn't entirely certain they **_HAD_** held that little talk at all, so why complicate things any further?

* * *

"Oh **quit** being sucha **_baby!_** **Hold still!**" Jayden snapped, giving Loz a pinch on the back of the neck, "Don't **_make_** me get **Cloud** over here, because I **_swear_** I'll make'im **pin** **your** **_arms_** **down**." 

"But I don't **_wanna_** dye my hair!" Loz whined, looking up at her with childlike crossness, tears dancing in the corners of his eyes from the strong fumes, "I like my hair exactly the way it is!"

"It washes **out** ya **_nit!_**" Jayden said exasperatedly giving him a noogie on the back of the head, "Besides, do you **really** want those **_fangirls_** t' **mob** you again?"

"**NO!**" Yazoo yelped from his seat at the kitchen table, waving his hands frantically, "Definitely not. No. Nope. Never. _**Noooo**_. That would be a big **negatory** good buddy."

"Then you should **_shut up_** and let me **do this**, ya **_wussies_**." Jayden snapped, grinding her fingers into Loz's scalp…not that it really mattered, it barely registered on his pain scale anyway, "Alright, now go let it set until the egg timer goes off. Sephiroth, get your **candy ass** over here."

"…no." Sephiroth said bluntly, staring at Jayden sullenly from his chair, "I drawn the line at altering **_any_** part of my physical appearance, even for the sake of avoiding those Holy forsaken fanatics."

He wasn't exactly thrilled that he had been forced to bow and scrape to Cloud, Sephiroth was even **LESS** pleased when his Masamune had been confiscated yet again and was now in the possession of Vincent Valentine. But really, he did take pride in his appearance and the thought changing his hair color really didn't sit well with him.

Jayden then stared Sephiroth square in the eye as she stalked over to the phone and dialed a number. She never broke eye contact with Sephiroth as someone picked up on the other end of the line.

"Hello, is the Silver Haired Men Fanclub?" Jayden asked, watching as Sephiroth's pale face went liquid paper white, "Yes, I have some valuable information regarding a trio of hoary haired bishies that might be of interest to you."

"Alright, alright! I'll do it! Just hang up the phone!" Sephiroth hissed, causing a tiny smirk to appear on Jayden's lips as she pressed the END button on the phone.

"I'm glad we've reached an understanding." She said dryly, walking over to Sephiroth and pushing him towards the sink, "Now sit down, shut up, and let me get this over with."

"Whuz goin' on?" Reno yawned as he entered the kitchen, eyebrows raising as he watched Sephiroth's face twist into a very interesting expression as Jayden ground some strong smelling gunk into his scalp.

"Oh, nothing. Just the demasculization of three full grown men." Vincent sighed tiredly from his seat on the living room floor.

"Huh." Reno mumbled, a drowsy smirk appearing on his lips as he grabbed a chair and sat down in it backwards, "Sounds entertainin', yo."

"Yeah, I'm surprised you slept through Loz's bitching and moaning." Rufus smirked, shaking his head, "Lord, I've never seen a grown man act so…so…what would you call it when a man acts homosexual but isn't?"

"**Metro**." Jayden called from the kitchen, not even looking up from the task in front of her. Lord, Sephiroth could be such a toddler at times! Even Loz didn't put up this much of a fight, "There, now go sit down…away from me. Yazoo, get over here."

Muttering under his breath, the long haired Remnant stalked over the sink, taking his time in making his way there by shuffling his feet, pausing to yawn then check his nails for dirt before finally reaching the sink.

"Nice t' see ya finally made it **_Hop A Long_**." Jayden snorted, grabbing the back of Yazoo's head, "Now **c'mon**, times a wasting."

"Why the sudden burst of proactivity?" Cloud asked, abandoning his seat in the living room to enter the kitchen, "You seemed so dead set against anything to do with them yesterday."

"Because, tomorrow we're going out to my grandfather's wolf ranch." Jayden said irritably, thankful that Yazoo wasn't squirming around as much as his brothers, "He's doing some renovation and he needs help with clean up. So we're going to help him out for about a week or so."

"Did you say wolf ranch? As in…there'll be wolves there?" Yuffie asked, tearing her gaze away from the television.

"You got it. And lots of them." Jayden grunted, pushing Yazoo away from the sink, "Okay, now go wait…somewhere over there."

* * *

"Óki (1) Pop-Pop!" Kyle called to the older man about twenty feet away. The man turned to reveal deep russet and long, graying black hair. 

"Óki, ayashe (2). It's good to see you again." John Blackfeather said with a broad smile, hugging his grandchildren tightly before moving on to his daughter, "And my daughter, you're looking so well."

"Oh Dad." Mikayla smiled, giving her father a tight hug, "I can't **_believe_** how much work you've done to the place…has the noise upset the wolves any?"

"A bit, but they've relaxed after they realized that it hasn't been coming any closer to their enclosure." He replied, glancing at the huge party behind them and smiling, "I see you've brought some extra hands."

"Yeah. These are our exchange students and a few of their friends. They're here to help out with the construction clean up." Jayden said gesturing back behind her, and shooting a look back at the Remnants and the One Winged Angel that clearly said, _"smile, nod and keep your traps shut!"_

This look wasn't aimed at the AVALANCE resistance or the Turks as they were being a lot more compliant these days.

And the fact that they were the only ones getting stared down wasn't lost on them and the three took to sulking, grateful for being hidden from fangirls, not so thankful that they were being coerced into doing manual labor.

"I see. Well, good to meet you all. I am John Blackfeather, but just call me Pop-Pop. Everybody does." He said genially.

"Everyone but me, Gramps." Jayden teased.

"And me G-Man." Charlie chimed innocently.

"And me Dad." Mikayla grinned.

"Oh, knock it off th' lot of ya!" Pop-Pop said laughingly, "If you have this much energy in you just to contradict me, I can't wait to see how much of it can be put towards cleaning up sheet rock."

"In a minute. I'm gonna go say hi to my babies." Jayden grinned, dashing off towards a fenced enclosure.

"…her...her **babies?** **_She's a_ mother?**" Tseng yelped, paling slightly. His reaction was enough to make Mikayla and Pop-Pop loose a short laugh.

"In a way, yes. She helped hand raise several of the wolves here." Pop-Pop snickered, "So in that way, they're her babies."

Loud braying soon met their ears and Kyle and Charlie snorted, shaking their heads.

"Ah, it seems that they're having a touching reunion with 'mom'." Charlie smirked, "Somebody pass me some tissues…no, seriously. Hand'em over. She'll be covered in wolf drool when she gets back."

* * *

"**_GAH!_** It's getting **everywhere!**" Rufus yelped, dancing aside as a shower of white dust came cascading towards him as the expanse of sheet rock he attempted to lift snapped in half. 

"Oh, don't be such a **_priss_**, Shinra!" Jayden snapped, walked by with her arms loaded down with sheet rock and naily boards, "Even Tifa, Yuffie, Elena and those Silver Haired **Metros** are pulling more weight than **_you!_**"

"Hey, they aren't silver haired at the moment, yo." Reno teased as he passed, "Not since you gotcher mitts on'em. I do believe they're more of a red-headed trio…maybe even a brunette-headed trio!"

"If you value your miserable life Turk, you will hold your tongue." Sephiroth hissed, snapping the two by fours he held in half, "Don't think I have any qualms about killing you just because I'm taking refuge with-"

"Hello, Silver Haired Men Fanclub? Sorry! The battery died on me earlier!" Jayden said into her cell phone eyeing Sephiroth pointedly.

"I'll be good! I'll be good! Just hang up! Hang up now!" He hissed, eyes wide as saucers as he clung to the front of her overalls.

"Okay, **okay!** Just **_geddoff_** me! I kinda **need** those later and you're **_invading_** my** personal bubble!**" Jayden cried, snapping her cell shut and bapping Sephiroth on the head until he let go (once again, doesn't matter as it barely registered pain wise)

"Hey, your grandpa said to throw the ones that didn't have nails on them somewhere…" Elena trailed off, eyes locked on the strangeness of the scene before, "Um, do I even wanna know?"

"Trust me, unless you want your I.Q. to drop several point, you're better off not knowing." Jayden sighed, "And he wants them set against the house."

"Okay. Does anyone know where Vincent got off to?" Cid asked, striding by with a huge beam balanced on his shoulder.

"In the house." Cloud replied, ducking quickly as Cid swung around and nearly clocked him with the nail-encrusted rafter, "You know how bright sunlight gets to him. He started getting lightheaded so he went to lie down."

"Man, that cracka needs t' toughen up, y'know whud I mena?" Barrett snorted as he walked by with a section of wall, "Don't see me lyin' down on th' job."

"Yeah? Well that 'cracka' could kick your ass…so watch yourself, Barrett." Rude said evenly as he walked by, "Remember, people are like theread. They can only take so much before stress they snap."

"Um…what should I do with this?" Loz asked, holding up a huge handful of fluffy pink fiberglass insulation…barehanded.

"First off – drop it." Jayden said, not saying a word until the seemingly harmless substance was out of Loz's hand and on the ground, "Secondly, go in the house and carefully rinse your hand off, then come back here, okay?"

Loz stared at her curiously, then moved towards the direction of the house to do as he was told.

"Aww…worried about him? What about me, yo?" Reno pouted jokingly, poking Jayden repeatedly in the spine with a dowel.

"For the last time Red, go get a hooker, and leave me alone." She snapped, glaring at Reno angrily at him.

"Okay…if you **_reeeeeeeeally_** want me to, then I **guess** I have no choice." Reno said vaguely, striding off with a very nail laden board in his arms towards the dumpster.

"What was that all about?" Tifa asked, returning from the dumpster with empty arms.

"Nothing. C'mon, I need your help splitting this one so it's easier to carry." Jayden said quickly, indicating a huge expanse of sheet rock.

"Way t' change the subject." Yuffie smirked as she trotted after Tifa, "Want some help? One time offer!"

* * *

Sometime later, Loz was whining about splinters (and the only reason they registered on his pain scale was because they were about three inches long and wedged themselves in nerves) and kept trying to pick up fiberglass barehanded and so, this led to Jayden scouring her grandfather's house for an extra set of work gloves. 

She had had them on her person earlier that day…but between early that morning and this afternoon they had mysteriously disappeared to parts unknown. And Jayden knew it was parts unknown because she could find hide nor hair of them.

"God, where in the hell did I leave those damn gloves?" Jayden muttered to herself as stalked down the hall, "Maybe in the boy's room when I helped Vincent inside!"

With a sense of purpose she strode to the third door on the left and slid it opened. The sight that met her eyes made every last once of blood in her body freeze…Reno…with a strange woman…that was most definitely a prostitute.

And there was no doubt in her mind as to what it was they were doing. It was obvious to even a stupid person they were having sex, and that this was a place she shouldn't be right now…but at the moment, Jayden's body wasn't responding to her synapses all that well (for all those wondering, Vincent was on the third door the the **_right_**)

Finally she managed to backpedal her way out of the room and quietly close the door. In that brief instant, she had forgotten completely why she had come to this end of the house in the first place and so, made her way back outside and into the wolf enclosure.

"Jayden, did you find those work gloves?" Pop-Pop asked, approaching his granddaughter who was currently wrapped around the neck of the alpha male Beowulf.

"No. There weren't any." Jayden mumbled into the black wolf's thick fur, threading her fingers though it.

"I beg your pardon, ayashe?" he asked politely, not following, "I was certain that I saw you with them earlier when you handled Freya."

"No it's not…I found them…but I just didn't grab them…" Jayden muttered incoherently into Beowulf's neck, continuing pet him so he wouldn't get agitated.

"Issotan…are you alright?" placing a glove encased hand over her own bare one.

"Hwuh? What was that?" Jayden asked, lifting her face away from Beowulf to look at her grandfather.

"Ayashe…has something happened?" the aging man asked, cupping her chin in his hand and staring into her eyes.

"…no. Everything's fine…just fine." She murmured, twisting her face free and returning it to the shield of Beowulf's fur, "…just…perfect."

* * *

(1) óki – hey!, hello! or greetings! are all acceptable. 

(2) Ayashe – little one; a term of endearment.

(3) issotan - grandaughter

* * *

(A/N: Reno notices a change in Jayden's behavior - she wont look at him. The One Winged Angel and the Remnants begin asking tough questions. R&R!) 


	37. Why, Why, Why?

(A/N: Hey all! Guess who's sick? ME! My little sister gave me her cold! Fun, huh? Now my throat hurts, my eyes hurt and my joints ache! Whoopie! But at least I have Ramune and Pocky to ease the pain! So, with out further adieu...READ ON!)

* * *

"Where th' **hell's** she gotten to, yo?" Reno moaned tetchily, "We hafta get back t' work before that old man tears us a new one!" 

"Well, she usually runs off to one of three places when she's upset." Kyle said thoughtfully, "The wolf pen, which I **_highly_** suggest you avoid unless the idea of being wolf chow appeals to ya, the stables, and if she did head that way, she's already long gone, and the tire swing by the river."

"What did you mean by, '_if she went to the stables, she's already long gone_'?" Tifa asked, taking a deep swig of water.

"Well if J.D. went t' th' stables, she probably saddled up Bonanza and went riding." Charlie shrugged.

"And who…or what, pray tell is a **Bonanza?**" Rufus asked with a snort as he wiped his neck and brow down.

"A green horse who hates **_everybody_** but J.D. and Pop-Pop and has tried to break my back on no less than nine separate occasions." Kyle said with wry smirk as he pushed himself away from the table.

"**Really?** Just nine?" Charlie taunted, rising from his seat, "Well, we'll help ya look. What with us being responsible sibs an' all."

"Well, where should we start?" Elena asked with a shrug of the shoulders. The ranch was huge and had several acres of forest so really, Jayden could be just about anywhere.

"The stables. If Bonanza isn't there, it'll save us whole lotta walkin'." Cid replied as he walked towards the door.

"Probably a good idea." Rude mused as they walked outside, and began making their way towards a cherry red barn from which the sounds of soft whickering could be heard.

"Y-you said horses are in there, right?" Yazoo asked tentatively as Charlie made his way to the front of the group to open the doors, "Well…what exactly are hor-!"

His question was cut short when Charlie threw open the barn doors to reveal pen after pen filled with large, beautiful creatures in a variety of colors and sizes. At a pen located towards the back, separate from the rest, was a substantial black one of the beasts…along with the absentee.

* * *

"Heh…guess we caught ya, huh?" Kyle smirked, eyeing the temperamental horse and keeping his distance, "Remember me?" 

The green beast snorted at him, pawed the ground, and gave him the eye. Yeah, it remembered him.

"Easy there." Jayden murmured, running her fingers over it's neck and resuming currying the horse's back, "So…what exactly can I do for all of you?"

"Well, helping us move all that **_debris_** would be nice for **starters**, yo." Reno said pointedly, moving forward to poke Jayden in the temple…only to have her flinch away from him before he made contact.

"Well…Gramps gave me the rest of the day off." Jayden said shortly, eyes locked on the horse in front of her.

"**_Really?_** Havin' girl issues there, sis?" Charlie teased poking Jayden in the back of the head repeatedly without her so much as twitching, something that wasn't lost on Reno.

"**Yes**, actually. Thank you **_oh_**, so much, brother **dear**, for making it public news." Jayden said sarcastically, squatting down to change out the curry comb for the hoof pick, "Y'want me t' go into specifics now that we're on the subject?"

"What are they talking about?" Loz wanted to know, looking at Sephiroth inquisitively, as if the One Winged Angel held the answers he sought.

"…at a later time." Sephiroth coughed into his hand, trying to hide his embarrassment at the line of questioning.

"So, someone skipped out on Sex Ed, eh?" Barrett grinned, "Well when women reach a certain age, they start-!"

"That's **_enough_** of that!" Yazoo barked, faintly red in the face from the overall mortification, "We'll explain it to him **later!**"

"Now I **_know_** you're only a day or so away. **God**, y'always get so **_bitchy_**." Kyle snorted, turning to leave the barn.

"Only because you **make** me that way." Jayden retorted dryly, bending over Bonanza's left rear hoof to pick it clean.

"And you know, if you aren't feeling well, you shouldn't go riding." Reeve said, noting a saddle, blanket and bridle draped over the pen door.

"Yeah, while jogging is great for reducing…unwanted pain…riding increases them." Elena said with a light cough, coloring slightly.

"…I'll live." Jayden said blandly, moving forward and taking hold of Bonanza's right rear hoof.

"Yeah, well, don't work too hard." Cid snorted, laughing out loud as Jayden paused to flip him off before resuming her task.

* * *

And while the AVALANCHE resistance and the Turks left the barn with Charlie and Kyle, three remained, staring hard at Jayden's back. 

"Bee in your bonnet boys?" she snorted, not even needing to turn around to know who was behind her.

"I sense no illness about you…why do you insist on shirking from your clean up duties?" Sephiroth asked calmly, folding his arms over his chest.

"Why is that any business of **_yours?_**" Jayden retorted, rubbing Bonanza's ankle and clicking her tongue lightly as she moved forward to clean his front hooves.

"Because one less person means that much more work for the rest of us." Yazoo said coolly, tapping his foot impatiently, "So why do you insist on-"

"How about this…an equivalent exchange – a question for a question." Jayden interjected, still not turning around as she continued to pick the horse's hooves clean, "You answer mine, I'll answer yours. Fair right?"

"…I guess." Loz shrugged, glancing over his shoulder at his brothers seeing whether or not they felt this was a good idea and when both nodded, he replied, "Fine. What's the question?"

"Why do you **insist** on calling a decaying box of flesh Mother?" Jayden asked, back still to them, "…even though the creature it used to be **_didn't_** give birth to you…nurture you…**or** care for you in **_any_** way, shape or **form** like a mother **_would?_**"

"Because we share her cells and follow her great will." Sephiroth said hotly, feeling anger start to constrict in his chest.

"Just because you share **cells** with something, doesn't **_make_** them your **mother**." Jayden said flatly, "That's a **_pathetic_** answer. Try again."

"And **how** is it pathetic?" Yazoo snarled, eyes flashing threateningly at her as she finished cleaning Bonanza and led him back inside his pen to tack him up, shutting the door with a clack.

"Because mothers want you to follow your **_own_** will, not **theirs**. Mothers are **_compassionate_**." Jayden said evenly, nuzzling the horse before looking at them through the corner of her eye, "Mothers are willing to comfort you at **three** **in the _morning_** because someone you thought you'd spend your life with broke your heart. Tell me…can your box of JENOVA soup do that?"

"W-well…no, but-" Loz was interrupted by Jayden as she saddled Bonanza.

"Then **why** do **_call_** her **Mother?**" Jayden asked, her gaze piercing as she cinched up the girth and reached for the bridle, "**_Why_** can't you **answer** me? What are you all so **_afraid_** of?"

"That's **more** than **_one_** question." Yazoo protested as she walked over to the pen gate and grabbed the bridle.

"**Why** can't you **_answer_** it?" Jayden retorted, sliding the bit into Bonanza's mouth.

"That will be **enough** of that!" Sephiroth snarled, eyes flashing with just barely contained rage, "Our reasons are our **_own!_** Now **answer** our **_question!_**"

"**My** reasons are **_my_** own." Jayden replied coolly, stepping into the stirrup and swinging herself up and into the saddle, "It's **really** no business of _**yours**_."

She walked the horse to the pen gate and kicked it easily open.

"Have a nice day...**gentlemen**." She said sarcastically, giving the green horse a good kick to the sides to send him galloping out of the barn, leaving the Remnants and the One Winged Angel to eat her dust.

"That **_impertinent_** little…how **dare** she speak of…" Yazoo sputtered, face flushed with anger as he stared after the fading dust cloud.

"I don't know brother…I'm starting to wonder if maybe…she had a point." Loz mumbled, twitching slightly as Sephiroth and Yazoo rounded on him, "I mean…why _**do**_ we call her Mother when she didn't give birth to us?"

"Because JENOVA **is** my Mother. I was told so my **_entire_** **life**." Sephiroth spat venomously, eyes flashing.

"Not to sound…rude, or anything…but doesn't that sound a bit like brain washing to you?" Loz asked tentatively, "What if you were-!"

"**_SHUT_ UP!**" Yazoo bellowed, startling Loz so much that he back into a bunch of farming supplies and fell to the ground, "Don't start spouting such…such **_NONSENSE!_**"

"But…but what she-!" Loz sputtered.

"I will hear no more of this." Sephiroth snarled, turning on his heel and storming out of the barn, "The only reason I tolerate her **reprehensible** remarks and **_ludicrous_** requests is that she **shields** **us** from those **_fanatics_**…and has them at her beck and call."

* * *

_"Geez…could this get any more annoyin', yo?"_ Reno thought to himself, watching Jayden, seated directly across from him, eating with her head bowed so she stared directly at her plate. She'd been doing that the entire meal and hadn't even looked up at him when he asked for her to pass the gravy boat. 

And what **really** ground his gears was that Jayden was glancing up at **_anyone_** **_else_** who **spoke** to her – even the three embodiments of everything that was **_evil_**. Reno was the **only** **one** she **_refused_** to acknowledge.

**No woman** was allowed to ignore him! It was like, an unwritten **_law_** or something! Besides…they had been fine earlier that day. What could he have done wrong between then and now?

A loud squeaking interrupted Reno's thoughts, making him glance up. Jayden was clearing away her dishes and excusing herself from the table. An opportunity to corner her was rearing its head! But…he would have to time it perfectly.

Reno watched as she entered the kitchen, heard the clatter of her setting her dishes in the sink and watched out of the corner of his eye as Jayden walked down the hall towards her room.

_"NOW!"_ Reno cried in his brain, pushing himself away from the table and calling out casually that he was going to the can, before skirting after Jayden, catching up to her easily.

"Hey. What's **up** with you?" Reno asked, catching her before she made it to the end of the hall, "You avoidin' me or somethin', yo?"

"…why does it matter if I am?" Jayden said coolly, eyes direct at a section of wall by the floor.

"I **_knew_** it!" Reno cried triumphantly, "So what's the deal? Why outta th' **blue** and all?"

Jayden smirked, but never once looked at him.

"Why don't you ask your**_self _**that, Red." She muttered moving away from his and opening the door of her room.

Reno automatically blocked her path and stared down at the top of her head.

"Whaddya mean, '_ask myself that_'?" he said inquisitively, trying to get a good look at her face.

"Are you **really** this slow? Or is this another tactic you use against your assassination targets so they'll be lulled into a false sense of security?" Jayden asked bitingly, eyes directed solely on the floor now.

"So y' noticed, mm? Ah well, C'est la vie and all that crap." Reeno snorted, shaking his head, "At last you've acknowledged my true genius, yo! But that still doesn't explain-"

"…don't over think things Reno." Jayden said coldly, ducking under the arm that blocked her path, "We wouldn't want your **_brain_** to overheat."

As she slammed the door in his face, Reno had to wonder, _'What did I do?'_ He wasn't about to let Jayden end the argument like that, so of course he threw the door open and stormed into her room.

Jayden even twitch as though she had anticipated the reaction. She was seated on the platform bed so that her back was towards him and her arms were wrapped around her knees, the balls of her feet rocking lightly against the platform as Reno stomped over.

"Alright, **I **wanna know what's up." Reno growled, standing directly behind her and tapping his foot, "I don't know **_what's_** pissin' you off, but I **_aint_** **_movin'_** **one** **step** until you tell me **_what's _up**, yo."

"…why don't you just go cry to your **_whore?_**" Jayden asked bitterly, eyes locked on the floor beyond the platform.

"Y-you mean…did you…aw **shit**." Reno said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head, "Well, I **_still_** don't get why you're so **mad**. You _**said**_ it was o-"

"I was only **joking** you **_ass!_**" Jayden snapped, lifting her gaze from the floor to the window, "I only **said that** to _**get you**_ off my **back** for awhile! You just wouldn't let **_up_** and it was driving me** nuts!** I didn't actually _**think**_ that you **would**…"

Reno glanced at the window and finally caught a glimpse of Jayden's face – she looked totally lost.

"Get out of my room Reno." Jayden said tersely, burying her head in her knees and pointing violently to the door, "**_NOW_**."

Reno turned to go and made it a few steps, pausing to look at Jayden over his shoulder.

"**Go!**" Jayden snapped heatedly, spurning Reno into motion and sending him out of her room.

* * *

"All I'm saying is that maybe-!" Loz began again, only to have Sephiroth cut him off again. 

"**_Why_** are you questioning **Mother** now?" Sephiroth thundered, eyes flashing angrily, "**_Why_** do you take the word of **that** little twit over that of your own **_flesh?_**"

"Do we have **another** traitor in our midst?" Yazoo hissed, balling his hands into tight fists and glaring at his younger siblings.

"What in Holy's name are you fools arguing about" Vincent asked coolly as he strode into the room, "Its a wonder the dead aren't doing backflips in their graves, what with your noise level."

"Yes, anything we can help you settle gentlemen?" Reeve inquired, glancing up from his newspaper to look at the group of (currently) red-headed men congregating behind the sofa.

"It's **nothing** that concerns you." Sephiroth said crossly, eyes locked on Loz.

"Actually-!" Loz piped up.

"Shut **_up_**, Loz." Yazoo snapped, glaring at his sibling.

"That girl asked us about why we call JENOVA Mother when it didn't give birth to us but-!" Loz was cut off by Sephiroth and Yazoo barking, "**_Stop questioning your existence and just accept that JENOVA _is _your Mother_**!"

"Actually, if I may, she isn't." Vincent interjected with a cough, making Sephiroth whip around to face him, "You were merely infused with a large portion of her genetic code."

"You **lie**." he hissed, eyes flashing at the undead man.

"We don't actually. Your birth mother was manipulated into submitting her unborn child...that's you - to experimentation." Reeve said easily, watching three sets of eyes widen, "I do believe it was better known as the...JENOVA Project?"

* * *

(A/N: After being confronted with a truth they don't wish to accept, the Remnants and Sephiroth begin to wonder what exactly it is a mother does. Meanwhile, Reno wonders what to do about Jayden as now she isn't speaking to him...at ALL. And things get tense when poachers get into the wolf compound! All this next chappie! R&R!) 


	38. Whatchoo Waitin' For?

(A/N: Hey all! Guess whose still sick? ME THAT'S WHO! And guess who might have a job soon? That's RIGHT! I'm so special! And now, without further adieu, READ ON, PEEPS!)

* * *

Reno scowled deeply. Jayden had spent the last **_three_** **_days_** holed up deep within the bowels of the wolf compound, not even leaving for **food** (Pop-Pop brought meals to her) and when she did leave to go to bed at night, she would skirt past him as quickly as possible, saying good night to everyone else and shutting herself up in her room without a word to him. 

That's what **_really_** bugged Reno, how she was acting as though he didn't exist. Even if he walked directly in front of her, Jayden just walked right around him as if he were a wall, or a piece of furniture.

What bothered him the most was the silence. The lack of conflict was just so **annoying**. Nobody else, save for Elena, would argue with him…and even **_Elena_** had evened out since starting her casual relationship with Rude and rarely ever started up anything with him anymore.

Even **Rude** wouldn't get into it with him anymore. The only verbal sparring Reno got now was from Pop-Pop when he threw a board with nails into the KEEP pile. Reno actually had started doing it deliberately just so he could get a little bickering in…but usually, Pop-Pop would just ream him, chuck the board into the dumpster and then go about his merry way before things got too heated.

Reno had finally had enough though and had asked Mikayla to take him into the wolf enclosure the moment he had spotted Jayden with her arm down the throat of a wolf (forcing it to swallow meds) It was the perfect opportunity as she had no where to go…since she was kind of trapped at the moment.

Mikayla had agreed on two conditions – one: Reno stayed at her side or Jayden's at all times while inside the compound and made no sudden movements, and two: that Reno keep his voice down so he wouldn't startle the animals.

After agreeing to her terms, Mikayla led him inside, leading him cautiously through the playing, feeding, snapping wolves to where her daughter was.

"Um, not that it's any of my business Keith, but any reason for the sudden urge to talk to J.D.?" Mikayla asked, quirking an eyebrow at Reno.

"Oh, no reason. Just felt like buggin' her, yo." He replied easily, not about to tell Jayden's mother the reason behind her daughter's sudden behavior change.

"Well, okay." Mikayla shrugged, deciding not to push the envelope more than necessary, "Oi, J.D.! I'm leaving Red here with you, okay, hun?"

"…m'kay." she replied, extracting her arm from the throat of the wolf in front of her, "But if he gets mauled? Not my fault."

"Of course, sweetie…it's the wolves and their voracious appetites that'll be to blame!" Mikayla laughed as she walked towards the gate, leaving Reno and Jayden alone.

* * *

"Hey listen, I'm gettin' pretty sick of this silent treat-" Reno was abruptly cut off by Jayden as she spoke to him for the first time in three days. 

"What did you come here for Reno?" she asked coolly, not turning around. The iciness of her tone caught him a little off guard, but he regained his composure quickly.

"Well you don't have to sound so rude about-!" he started again, only to be once again, rudely interrupted.

"You're right. I'm sorry." Jayden replied in a tone dripping with sarcasm, something not lost on Reno, which caused him to scowl deeply.

"You aren't sorry at all!" he retorted, folding his arms over his chest.

"You're right. I'm not." Jayden replied matter-of-factly, back still to him as she beckoned another wolf to her.

"What is **with** you?" Reno cried, throwing his hands into the air, "I came out here to **_apologize!_** Seriously, I **know** I acted like a jerk, but **_you_**…I mean, what the **hell**, yo!"

"What does it matter to you how I behave?" she asked coolly, "Even though we're standing so close, we may as well be miles apart."

"What in the **_hell_** are you going **on** about?" Reno asked frustratedly, growing more and more agitated when she didn't turn around to speak to him.

"Once all this is sorted out and you all return to Gaia, you'll start to forget about me." Jayden shrugged listlessly, running her fingers through the fur of the wolf in front of her, "Such is your nature."

"**_I will_ not!**" Reno cried, so irritated that he didn't notice how much he was agitating the wolves, "Don't you preach to _**me**_ what I will and won't do, yo!"

"Oh so?" Jayden asked dryly, "Then what was the name of that woman you were with? Can you honestly say you remember?"

"Hell **yeah** I can!" Reno fumed, more than ready to contradict Jayden, "Her name was…it was…ah…_umm_…I _**know**_ it started with an L."

"You see my point." She said with a sigh, giving the wolf in front of her a final pat and rising to her feet, "Once you return to Gaia, your memories of me, earth, my family and the time we spent together will instantly begin to fade."

"Oh **yeah?** Well whaddabout **_you?_**" Reno retorted, arms akimbo as he tried to psychically will Jayden to turn around, "Actin' all superior. Can you **really** say that _**you**_ won't forget all of **us** when **_we_** disappear?"

"…no." Jayden said, shocking Reno, "It's the nature of adults. They forget what was important to them in their youth."

"So…so you're **admittin'** it then?" Reno asked, walking forward so that he was directly behind her, "That you'll _**forget**_ us?"

"Yes." Jayden replied, back still to him as she still refused to turn around, "I'm not proud of it…but there it is."

"That's **bull**. I won't forget." Reno said with the air of a stubborn child, "You can't go around telling me what I will and wont do, yo."

"…heh. That's probably one of the biggest lies I've ever heard in my life." Jayden snorted, turning to look at him through the corner of her eye, a weak smile on her lips, "…but I guess it's the thought that counts, huh?"

"I **_saw_** **that!** _**That**_ was a **smile!**" Reno whooped victoriously, glomping her from behind.

"Hey, I would call it a smile so much as a muscle spasm." Jayden said wryly, wriggling to get out of Reno's grasp.

"Don't **_lie_**, yo! That was **so** a smile!" Reno smirked squeezing her tighter and grinning like a maniac.

"It was **_not_**. I'll deny it **forever!**" Jayden squealed, throwing her arms over her head and slipping under Reno's grip, making a mad dash for the exit.

"**_No fair _escaping!**" Reno cried, darting out after her and slamming the chain link door shut behind him, startling several of the wolves in to barking loudly at the sudden sound.

"**_It's _plenty_ fair!_**" Jayden called back laughingly, "But **_this_**, on the other hand, is **totally** underhanded! **_CHARLIE!_ KYLE! KEITH'S TRYING TO _RAPE_ ME!**"

"_**Aw, hell!**_" Reno yelped, turning on his heel and running for the hills as Charlie appeared out of the construction site with a sledgehammer and Kyle sprinted out of the barn with a pitchfork.

* * *

"Well I'm glad to see **they're** all so lively." Mikayla laughed, watching this scene unfold from the kitchen, "Well…I guess I should say '**_almost'_** all of them. Something on your mind, boys?" 

Sephiroth glanced up when Mikayla placed a hand on his shoulder and gazed at him and his brothers with concern.

"You're the only ones who didn't go down to the river. If there's anything wrong, feel free to tell me." Mikayla said gently, watching as Loz and Yazoo shifted uncomfortably and exchanged looks with Sephiroth.

"Well, ma'am, we've just come to terms with something rather…rather shocking and it's just difficult for us to accept as true even though we've had irrefutable proof shoved under our noses." Sephiroth mumbled, not looking at Mikayla as she listened with a sympathetic ear.

"I know how that is." She replied, taking a seat in between the three, "When I received news of my husbands death, I didn't believe it and demanded that they take it back…begged for them to make it all not true…even though that was impossible."

"Well, our problem also involves a loss in a manner of speaking." Yazoo muttered under his breath, "You see, we grew up without a Mother…and we've basically raised ourselves. So as of late, we've been wondering…"

"What you've been missing out on?" Mikayla asked, a soft smile appearing on her face as all three nodded slowly, "Welll boys, you're in luck…because this old bird still has a lot of mothering left in her. Howbout it? Want me to act as your mom for awhile?"

"**S-seriously?**" Loz gaped, eyes widening into saucers as Mikayla nodded, "You mean it?"

"Mm-hm. Doesn't bother me." Mikayla shrugged, "After all, all three of mine are pretty much independent and working on moving out into their own places. This'll help me ease into being an empty nester and give you a chance to experience family life. We'd be helping each other."

All three stared at the middle-aged woman and scrutinized her smiling face for any trace of deception, mockery or the like. When they saw none, they had to wonder what the catch was.

And these suspicious looks were not lost on Mikayla and she loosed a short laugh.

"I'm not **_messing_** with ya!" she cried, trying her best to compose herself, "Scouts honor!" Mikayla pledged, switching her fingers into the Boy Scout salute.

"…what are scouts?" Loz asked, lifting an eyebrow at Mikayla…and the look of such childlike curiosity on a full grown man proved too much for Mikayla as she dissolved into giggles.

"Oh, you're just **too** **_cute!_**" she wheezed, arms wrapped around her stomach as she gasped for air, "_Ahhhh_, it doesn't matter anyway. I never was a scout any way. I suppose I shoulda said Brownie's honor."

"I'm confused." Yazoo murmured.

"Aren't we all." Mikayla agreed, patting him on the back, "All you really need to know is that for the time being, I'll act as your mom, okay?"

"…alright…I suppose." Sephiroth said slowly, wondering to himself, when she had arbitrarily decided all this.

"And to get things off on the right foot, I'd like for you to help me bring in the groceries please." Mikayla smiled, clapping her hands together in a note of finality, "C'mon, on your feet! Let's go boys!"

* * *

"Man, oh **man!** This feels _**great!**_ Pop-Pop has some great property, huh?" Yuffie asked cheerfully as she waded up to her waist in the tepid river water. 

"No complaints on this end. _Mmm_…lord this feels fantastic." Elena sighed blissfully as she floated on the surface of the water lazily giving a kick of her feet every so often.

"Well it's no small wonder. We haven't worked like this in awhile." Rufus sighed, resting on a large river rock that jutted out over the water.

It was the perfect rock for sunning…diving…and Rude and Reeve were taking full advantage of its location to dive into the river below.

Cid and Barrett were playing a game of Chicken against Cloud and Tseng (Tseng had been taunted until he reached his breaking point – hence why he's playing) Tseng utilizing his anger fueled strength to help him shove Cid off Barrett's shoulders.

"Men…I **swear**, as cute as they are, I'll _**never**_ even **try** to understand them." Tifa sighed, shaking her head sheepishly as she watched Cloud stick out his tongue slightly in concentration before loosing a battle cry and marching awkwardly forward in the water.

"I'm of the same gender and even **_I_** can't comprehend the mechanics of their minds half of the time." Vincent replied lazily from under the shade of a tall pine tree, letting loose a long, soundless yawn, "Don't feel too badly about it."

"Somehow, I think she'll be able to survive the heart break, Vincent." Reeve said cheerfully as he pulled himself out of the water and made his way back to the diving rock where Rufus still sunned himself.

"Could you watch where you're dripping please?" Rufus asked, crinkling up his nose as Reeve's wet feet splashed water up onto his legs.

Rude and Reeve then exchanged a look, nodded, and caved into their testosterone. They ducked down, hefted the president of ShinRa Corp. up by his wrists and ankles and heaved him into the water.

"Sorry, sir. But think of it this way…the drips will be less noticeable this way." Rude said with a nod, taking three steps back before dashing forward and cannonballing off the rock and into the water directly next to Rufus, causing a tidal wave to surge over his head.

"**Rude!** That was out of line!" Elena cried, staring nervously from Rufus to Rude and back again from where she floated…but Rufus, being a man, was also prone to bursts of male hormone and promptly retaliated by dunking his employee underwater and holding him there for a three count.

"Wow…so he can be a dude at times…whodathunk?" Yuffie snorted.

* * *

It was late, about four in the morning when the ear splitting alarm had gone off, causing several members of the AVALANCHE resistance and the Turks to nearly give themselves concussions. 

The Remnants and the One Winged Angel also had major spaz attacks and had flown out of bed and onto the floor in a most ungainly fashion at the blaring sound.

The sound of several pairs of feet running through the halls was heard through the din as doors were thrown open.

"**_What the _hell_ is going _on?**" Reno yelled over the deafening noise at Charlies rapidly disappearing back.

"Poachers in the wolf compound!" he barked over his shoulder, a high-powered tranquilizer riffle in his hand.

"This is the seventh time in five months." Pop-Pop said tersely, a gun loaded with rubber bullets over his shoulder as they ran, not walked, to the enclosure, "They think because its closed quarters it'll make for easier hunting."

"Not that we'd ever make it easy for them." Kyle ground out, running through the writhing masses of frightened animals towards the sounds of gunfire and loud, drunken laughter.

"Wait out here." Mikayla said curtly, "These animals are frightened and many of them are probably hurt. We can't guarantee your safety until those poachers are gone."

"But-!" Yazoo interjected.

"No buts!" Mikayla snapped, eyes flashing with worry, "I don't want to see you get hurt! Now for the love of **_god_**, stay here and do as I ask of you! Please!"

With one last look, she darted into the fenced off area and closed the gate quickly behind her.

Despite this…strange moment between her mother and the Silver Haired Man, Jayden said nothing, just loaded an arrow into her bow. Mikayla, also an archer it seemed, loaded her own and the two darted forward.

There was a loud crack of a gun being fired followed shortly after by an animalistic yelp. A cry of triumph split the air and Jayden gnashed her teeth as a older wolf limped over the hillside.

As soon as the first one reared their ugly mug, Jayden and Mikayla loosed their arrows, pinning him to a tree.

He let out a cry of alarm and shouted out a warning to his friends, spurning the family to move that much faster.

An engine started up and headlights came to life, six bodies leaping inside as it took off.

"_No fair escaping._" Jayden muttered under her breath, loosing three arrows at once, two hitting the left rear tire, one hitting the right front causing it to spin out and flip on to its side.

"That's far enough, don't you think?" Pop-Pop asked casually, aiming his gun into the car before any of the men had a chance to run off, "Kyle? Bring that rope over here, wouldja?"

* * *

(A/N: Mikayla announces her plan to adopt the SHM...if only temporarilly and Jayden, while thinking her mother had completely lost her mind, goes along with the gag...and also issues a warning to the three. Yuffie and Rufus go on a double date with Elena and Rude! R&R!) 


	39. Drunken Barn Dance

(A/N: Hey all! I'm still sick! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! ...waiit a sec...is that a yay? Or a not Yay? Oh well. It's almost four in the morning and I don't really care anymore. So without any further adieu, READ ON!)

* * *

Jayden yawned loudly and tilted her reading glasses up so she could rub her tired eyes. She shifted her weight, tilted her head and massaged a particularly irritating kink in her neck. She then lowered her gaze to the lower right hand corner to check the time – 6:15 a.m. meaning she would probably only get two hours of sleep in if she stopped working now.

Last night had been killer and since many of the injured wolves had been very agitated, she had spent the night in the second barn that served as the treatment center to keep them calm. Usually this would have been time spent doing her homework, but since Jayden managed to find an outlet and plug her laptop into the wall so she could still get some of it done.

Nights were the only time Jayden had to do it since the Final Fantasy Nightmares had entered her life, so lately she'd been getting four to five hours of sleep a night at best. Tonight she got less on principle as she was worried about the wolves and kept stepping away from her homework to check in on them.

Needless to say, Jayden couldn't **_wait_** for graduation so she wouldn't have to deal with this hectic schoolwork schedule. Jayden knew if she continued like this that she would end up shacked up in the wacko basket.

"**Lord** what a night." She mumbled, closing her laptop with a snap and loosing a loud yawn as she allowed herself to fall back against the straw, "Now for two hours of wonderful, undisturbed power sleep…at least it _**better**_ not be disturbed or I…I…I'll cry like a little girl."

With that, she curled into a ball, completely unperturbed by the potential killer with razor sharp fangs and claws lying only inches away from her as she drifted into a deep sleep.

* * *

"Slim Pig? C'mon Skinny, wake up." Kyle said teasingly, already pulling his younger sibling to her feet and hauling her along while Charlie collected her laptop and books. 

"_Mmwimbuh._" Jayden retorted smartly as Kyle shifted her onto his back as her legs refused to cooperate and kept giving out on her.

"C'mon, rise and shine Runt. Mom says she has an announcement to make." Charlie said matter-of-factly as Jayden buried her face in the crook of Kyle's neck.

"Nuh…sleep now." She said shortly, eyes remaining closed as they approached the house.

"If you don't open those eyes I may just follow through with this incredible urge of mine to dump you in Bonanza's water trough." Kyle said idly, making his younger sibling groan loudly as she forced her eyes open a crack.

"Happy now?" she asked sarcastically, knowing that she had to look at least four times as exhausted as she felt if her reflection in the window was any indication.

"Extremely." Charlie smirked smugly as the entered the kitchen through a side door, "Hey **_Ma!_** We grabbed her! So, what's this big, earth shattering, life-changing announcement you said you have to tell us? You getting remarried or something?"

"Oh stop it you." Mikayla laughed as Kyle switched Jayden off his back and onto a chair where she automatically slouched down several inches as she didn't have the energy to maintain proper posture, "It's nothing as major as that. It is something that changes lives, though."

"Oh, Jesus, Mary and **Joseph**…you're **_pregnant!_**" Charlie moaned, allowing his hands to rise to his face as Mikayla laughed even harder at the insinuation.

"At **my** age? That would not only be dangerous for me but the baby as well, son. Not too mention since I'm not sleeping with anyone, there would be the matter of immaculate conception to deal with." She giggled, "What I'm saying is, no honey. I'm not preggers."

"Good…you just saved that exchange chaperone's life." Kyle growled (how they explained away Reeve's presence)

"Anyway, my announcement has to do with those new friends of yours J.D." Mikayla said cheerfully, "You know the ones – Loki, Yazid and Seraph – the three brothers? I'm think of a trial adoption with them."

Jayden thought what she had heard had been induced by sleep depravation, but she heard her mother press on with words of if this trial run went smoothly that it might become a permanent thing.

She also heard her mother go on to ask Charlie and Kyle for their thoughts on the matter of adopting the parentless boys and that they were both perfectly fine with the idea of more brothers. Jayden then heard Mikayla ask her for her thoughts on the matter.

_"Well, Mama, if you really must know, I think it's complete and utter insanity. You're talking about adopting three deranged murderers."_ Jayden wished she could have said…but Mikayla just looked so hopeful that she would go for it…and after all, by this time Jayden was so adept at lying through her teeth that saying she had no problems with this little scenario wasn't an issue.

"I think it's a **great** idea, Mommy." Jayden said, smiling tiredly, her response making Mikayla's entire face light up. And even though her mouth was earnestly spouting off how her mother should go ahead with the test period, her mind was abuzz with tracking down the Silver Haired Men – ASAP.

* * *

"**_Hey_**, you seen the Red-Headed Rejects around lately?" Jayden asked Tifa quickly, making her glance up from the load of wood she was preparing to walk to the dumpster. 

"Not today, no. Why? Are they stirring up trouble again?" Cloud asked, jumping on the opportunity to catch the Silver Haired Trio in the act of committing an illicit deed so he would have an excuse to slice them to bits.

"Cid? Howbout you? You seen'em?" Jayden called, ignoring Cloud who persisted in asking whether or not the One Winged Angel and his Remnants had done something immoral.

"Naw, but they're probably skulkin' around here somewhere." He replied before delivering an elbow drop that split the sheet rock resting on his knee into several more manageable chunklets.

"Why do you need to see **them**, of all people? What's the emergency?" Yuffie asked curiously as she hopped down from the dumpster and made her way over to the rapidly growing group.

"For reasons that don't involve you." Jayden snapped, making Yuffie's face twist into a very irritable scowl as she harrumphed off towards a large of insulation.

"Well, let's do some deductive reasoning." Reeve said calmly, "We know for a fact that Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie and Cid are awake and working."

"I know for a fact that Rude's awake. I saw him and Elena talking this morning." Tifa said thoughtfully, "I saw Tseng and Rufus leave with Pop-Pop earlier so they're in town with him. That just leaves Reno, Barrett and the Silver Haired Men."

"Barrett went inside to ask Mikayla for aspirin." Cid replied, "He had one **_bitch_** of a headache this mornin'."

"And Reno was up later than usual after that poacher incident last night so he's probably sleeping in." Cloud said, running his fingers back through his hair, "…so the trinity of evil are probably doing the s-**hey**, where'd she go?"

"Jayden took off about two minutes ago." Yuffie shrugged, collecting pieces of sheet rock off the ground as spoke.

* * *

Sephiroth was rudely awoken by ice water splashing over his head and torso at high velocity. He opened his eyes to find out who the dead man was…and found himself being stared down by the short girl who harbored him, looking none to happy at the moment. 

"So…my mom tells me she's thinking of a trial adoption period with you guys. Which one of you implanted **_that_** happy idea into her head?" she asked in tone so sweet it would have melted your teeth right out of your skull.

Loz and Yazoo stared at each other. If they had thought the fangirls were frightening, this was on a whole new plane of scary shit. Maybe it was the deep, black circles under her eyes…or maybe it was the aura that surround her screaming _'I will set you ablaze right now'_…either way, she was terrifying at the moment, even if they did have a head and a half over her.

"Know this – I'm only going along with this because it will make my Mommy happy." She said coolly, arms akimbo, "But you toe the line, you do one thing to harm my Mama in any way…you make her shed a single tear and I will make you regret the day you were spawned."

By this point she loomed directly over Sephiroth, so close the tips of their noses brushed.

"Is that clear?" she asked in an overly bright tone, smiling slightly.

"Crystal." Sephiroth replied, his reply causing her smile to twist into a smirk as she left the room.

"**Sheesh**…she acts as though this was all **_our_** idea." Loz said pulling the covers up under his chin, "This was all her **Mom's**-I mean, this isn't **_fair_**."

"I just can't believe something **that **short can be **_that_** intimidating." Yazoo said, shaking his head, "I mean, Sephiroth nearly **pissed** hims-!"

"I did **_not_**. I would **never** do something so disgraceful…besides, I had the situation **_completely_** under control." Sephiroth retorted irritably, swearing up and down that the thrill of fear he had felt would never be spoken of.

* * *

"I can not **believe** you actually **_said_** that! Whadda **riot!**" Reno hooted later that day after hearing what Jayden had done, "I mean come **_on_**, yo! What are you **actually** gonna be able t' **do** t' them?" 

"I **_dunno_**! I was to pissed to **think** straight!" she said, flushing slightly out of embarrassment from her own stupidity, "Maybe I'll go black widow on their asses and slip **_rat_** poison into their food."

"You know, you'd hafta **marry** them to be a black wi-!" Reno's retort was cut off by an annoyed groan as Jayden hefted a plank up and over her shoulder.

"Shut up Reno." Jayden mumbled, not lifting her head as she walked towards the dumpster, "I'm too tired for this right now, okay? Just let it go."

"Alright, alright, changing subjects." Reno snickered, waving a hand dismissively as he bent down to pick up a stack of boards that had been nailed together at odd angles, "What did you say Tifa and Cloud we're plannin', yo?"

"A double date – them with Rude and Elena." Jayden said as she lobbed the board into the dumpster, her comment causing the red-head's eye brows to raise, "Its their first real date so I guess they're thinking they'd be more comfortable in a group setting."

"So what're they plannin' t' do?" Reno snorted as he grabbed several good sized hunks of insulation to add to his load before walking over to the dumpster, "And please don't say anything corny like a carnival or a moonlit walk on the beach."

"I think they're just gonna hit the theater in town. Nothing fancy." Jayden said listlessly as she dusted off her front and made her way back over to the large pile of debris so graciously left by the construction workers, "But if you wanna know for sure, ask'em. I really don't care about crap like that."

* * *

"So, you know what I hear we're missing out on because of our date tonight?" Elena asked Tifa as she poured a cup of coffee, "Apparently, there's this barn dance happens twice a month. I heard about it from Pop-Pop." 

"Really? I bet that's where everyone else will be heading while we're out." Tifa shrugged, lacing her fingers together, "I just hope things don't get out of hand while we're gone."

"It's just one night." Elena said dismissively, blowing on the hot liquid in her hands, "Besides I'm sure we'll have fun too. I just hope Reno doesn't pull what he did at prom and try to make Jayden dance every fast song."

"It was one of things that started funny and you just ended up feeling sorry for the victim." Tifa agreed, "Did you **_see_** how **weird** she was walking the day after?"

"Well, her legs must have been killing her. Dancing in heels is a **_nightmare_**." Elena snorted, "I'm just glad Rude only asked to dance on slow songs."

"You and Rude…working your way past Tseng, huh?" Tifa smiled as Elena colored slightly.

"Tseng will always have a special place in my heart…but Rude…well…Rude actually pays me mind." Elena blushed, staring at the black surface of her coffee, "He actually pays attention to me. It's nice…to feel like you're wanted."

"I agree." Tifa sighed, a contented smile spreading over her face, "For the longest time I thought Cloud was never going to figure things out and that my feeling would be ignored. I'm glad he got a clue…even if it took a night of drinking to do it."

From just outside the kitchen, Rude and Cloud pushed away from the wall, satisfied with what they had overheard.

"So, still opposed to eavesdropping?" Rude asked Cloud casually as they walked down the hall.

"Not in the slightest actually." Cloud replied with a smile.

* * *

Later that evening, the group that wasn't on the double date was walking towards a gigantic, cherry red barn where throngs of people were milling in and out of and the sounds of loud music and laughter could be heard. 

"Alright guys, here are come ground rules, if you leave, you go with a buddy." Pop-Pop stated loudly so he could be heard over the din, "If you drink anything tonight, it's water, or punch, y'got me? There will be **no** underaged drinking on my watch!"

Cid, Barett and Charlie exchanged a look, smirked broadly before chorusing with the rest that they understood the rules.

Jayden had darted into the crowd before Reno could rope her like last time and went to hide out under the stage with a bottle of water, a flashlight and her calculus homework that she had fallen seriously behind on.

Rufus, surprisingly enough, was the one asking Yuffie to dance this time around, and after about two seconds of deliberation, she looped arms with him and walked out on to the dance floor just as Trace Adkins's Honky Tonk Badonkadonk started playing.

Reeve made a sweeping bow and politely asked Mikayla to dance and she smilingly accepted, saying that she thought the song playing was hilarious. When Reeve asked why, she sang a few choice ones aloud, making him laugh.

Vincent avoided the dance by holing up on the roof with a book he'd taken from the Monroe High School library before the trip entitled Misery, which turned out to be far more riveting than its dismal title implied.

The Remnants and the One Winged Angel had been caught at the door by a group of professional square dancers who insisted upon having at least one dance with them. And one dance turned into three…and three into seven, and soon, these girl's were pulling a Reno in that they would not let the poor Sliver Haired Men go.

Charlie and Kyle kept a look out for Pop-Pop, who had been distracted by meeting up with an old friend apparently. They gave Barrett and Cid the thumbs up over their shoulders and the two men slipped a flask of something out of their shirts and dumped the contents into the bowl of punch.

* * *

Sometime later, Jayden crawled out from under the stage, having finished her math homework, she was ready to give Reno a break…that is, if he hadn't already found one in the form of another hooker. 

He hadn't as it turned out…he was totally drunk though. And we're talking so drunk he could barely stand. So drunk he was talking to a cactus in the corner.

"What the **_hell?_**" Jayden hissed as she stormed over to him, whipping him around so fast he almost lost his balance, "I **thought** my Gramps **_told_** you to stay **dry** tonight you **_ass!_**"

"Sis, it aint **his** fault." Charlie said quickly, appearing from the refreshment table…which was conveniently only a few feet away from the cactus, "I just checked. Someone spiked the punch."

"That someone wouldn't be **you** would it?" Jayden asked knowingly.

"No, no. It was Denzel and Sid." Charlie snorted, jerking his thumb towards Barret and Cid, who waved back with not-so-innocent grins on their faces as they quickly drained the punch bowl.

"I shoulda known." Jayden groan, slipping an arm around Reno's back and tugging his left arm over her shoulder, "I'm cuttin' him off and taking him home, okay?"

"Gotcha." Charlie said, turning towards the refreshment table, "And **_hey!_** Be careful squirt."

Jayden muttered irately to herself when she realized she'd forgotten her homework and textbooks by the stage. Not too mention Reno was not making this easy for her – winding this way and that, loudly proclaiming his love for her not once, not twice, but five times, and also declaring his undying adoration for a fence post they passed.

_"Mental note, call Kyle. Tell him to grab my shit."_ She thought grouchily as she stumbled along under the combination of Reno's added weight and her own sleep deprevation.

"'ey Yay'en? I…I luv you…" Reno slurred as he staggered along, only keeping on his feet because of support Jayden's shoulders offered as she half led half carried him along.

"Yeah, yeah. I heard you the first four times. Sure you love me. _Just like Hans loved me_…right." Jayden sighed absentmindedly, ignoring the ranting of the sloshed red-head, "We're almost there okay? **Easy!** _**Eeeeasy**_…alright now take your shoes-**yaieek!**"

Jayden let out a screech as Reno lost his balance and fell to the floor, dragging her along with him. She hit the floor with a thunk, hissing as pain spiderwebbed out from her shoulder blade.

"Mm shorry." Reno mumbled, his alcohol slurred voice coming from above her. This startled Jayden so much that her eyes, previously squinched shut in pain, to fly open. Reno was staring down at her with a look that was nothing short of liquor-fueled lust in his eyes.

"Reno…Reno, whatever it is you're thinking, **_stop_** thinking it – **right now**." She murmured hoarsely trying to wiggle out of his grip, "You **_don't_** want this. You're dr-_mmph!_"

Before Jayden got to finish her sentence, Reno lowered his head and pressed his mouth against hers roughly, so roughly that her already chapped lips split and she tasted blood.

Jayden twisted her head aside roughly in an effort to escape, but as it turned out, it wasn't necessary as Reno passed out only seconds later on top of her.

* * *

(A/N: Reno wonder's how his lip got bruised, Jayden has a conversation with Aerith and Zack. The Remnants and One Winged Angel started adjusting to family life. R&R!) 


	40. In The End, It Doesn't Even Matter

(A/N: Hey all! Sorry this took so long! I had writer's block! But the Cork's been unstopped so READ ON!)

* * *

Reno groaned loudly as pain thrummed dully through his skull and into his brain. He couldn't for the life of him understand why it felt like he had a hangover when he hadn't touched anything remotely alcoholic the night before. Seriously, he'd decided to try on being straight edged for a night to see how it felt and all it landed him was a mother of a migraine and a nice bruise on his lip.

He had to wonder about that one. The location was weird and the skin wasn't broken so Reno was pretty sure he hadn't gotten into a fight…meaning it was a high pressure bruise. Either that, or he had hit his face on something and his lip hadn't split; lots of options and all of them probable.

But although the mystery bruise was interesting, his stomach growled angrily at Reno as it demanded to be filled with food. So, in order to quiet his stomach's complaints, Reno pushed himself out of bed and made his way to the kitchen, where everyone else was already milling around.

"Mornin' sleeping beauty. Sleep well?" Mikayla asked jokingly as she pushed a plate of bacon, eggs and hash browns into his hands.

"Mm…feels like my heads in a vice though." Reno replied, giving Mikayla an appreciative nod as he gave Rude's chair a push to the side so he could sit down.

"Yeah, I heard from Mrs. Schwartz that someone spiked the punch." Elena said with a shrug, eyes trained on the newspaper, "That's probably what's doing it."

"That doesn't explain away that bruise, though." Cloud said, giving Reno's face a poke with his spoon and frowning slightly, "You get into a fight last night or what?"

"He fell." Jayden said shortly as she entered the kitchen, giving her mother a kiss on the cheek, "Hit the ground pretty hard and took me down with him the bastard."

"**_Jayden!_** Watch your language." Pop-Pop scolded, giving his granddaughter a light swat across the back of the head.

Reno stared at Jayden as she grumbled under breath. She had similar bruising on her mouth…but her lips were split in several places. But she just said he hit his mouth on something! Was she lying?

"So how was **your** evening anyway?" Yuffie asked, elbowing Tifa in the ribs with a grin. "**_C'mon!_** I want **details** here, people! **_Details!_** Leave out **nothing** no matter **_how_** explicit!"

"Yuffie, you make it sound like we went to a sex club!" Tifa said with a laugh, " Things **did** get pretty interesting after the movie started, though. I will admit that."

"How so?" Cid asked, swinging his feet onto the table and grinning across at them, "C'mon! Get into th' specifics!"

"Well, this one woman four rows in front of us would not stop talking." Rude said a slow smile appearing on his lips, "And just as I was about to say something, a guy behind us hit her in the head with a bucket of popcorn."

"_**HA!**_ Mannn, that's hilarious!" Barrett laughed, setting down his coffee, "So what th' bitch do? Throw'er drink? Cap 'is ass?""

"No, she yelled at him." Elena replied sheepishly, making Reno choke on a mouthful of potatoes, "I'm not kidding, she stood up in her seat and yelled at him."

"You've got to be kidding." Rufus laughed, shaking his head disbelief, "I mean it's just **too** absurd!

"She proclaimed - and I'm quoting her on this, _'Shut up. You bastard. The people are trying to watch a movie here'_ end quote." Cloud said with a wry smile.

"How attractive." Reeve said with a mild smile, walking over to the coffee pot and pouring himself a mugfull, "I'm assuming she was alone, yes?"

"**Wrong!** Her date came back from the snack bar and asked who the hell _'that broke ass cracka'_ thought he was, messing with girl." Tifa snorted, shaking her head.

* * *

"Those eggs we're very well prepared." Vincent commented offhandedly, changing the subject on a whim after cleaning his plate and pushing it away from him. 

"Oh I didn't make them. Yazid did." Mikayla replied, smiling warmly at Yazoo as he quickly decided that there was an interesting collection of dust bunnies in the corner and he'd better check it out.

"…_**seriously?**_" Reno gaped, staring down at his plate that he was already halfway through.

"Mm-hm. He made everything from the bacon to the hash browns." Charlie said with a snort.

"He even squeezed the orange juice." Kyle said, watching as Yuffie starting coughing and set down her glass of O.J.

"Who knew he was so…talented?" Reeve commented, praying silently to Holy that he hadn't just been poisoned.

"I know! Isn't it great?" Mikayla beamed, "If he can do this, just think of what his brothers are capable of!"

"Jayden, a word?" Cloud said smilingly, grabbing the teen by her bicep and pulling her in close before hissing, _"Did you witness him making this meal?"_

"Well, **yeah**. I was up before he was." Jayden replied back, extracting her arm from his grip with a tug, "He asked me where the paprika and the chili powder were."

_"And you stood idly by and let him cook for us? Have you lost your mind?"_ Vincent asked in a hushed whisper.

"Well I would've seen if he put something strange into the food, and he didn't." Jayden said irritably, "What you don't like is the fact he cooked something you enjoyed."

With that, she pushed away from the table, "I'm going to feed the wolves. Group meeting in an hour though. Don't miss it." She said cryptically.

Jayden was halfway to the wolf enclosure when she heard the crunch of footsteps behind her. She stopped. The footsteps stopped. With a sigh, she turned around, and saw a hulking body trying to conceal itself behind a tree.

"Loz, if you want to help me out, than just say so okay? Don't tiptoe around the issue." Jayden sighed, beckoning to the man as he peered out from behind the tree at her her, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

"It was Mrs. Schwar - I mean your Moth- I mean…**_Mom's_** idea." Loz managed, through his discomfiture, "She said it would be good _'brother/sister bonding'_…whatever that means. I **still** don't think she's seri-"

"Oh she is…_**believe**_ me." Jayden sighed, running her fingers back through her hair, "She **fully** intends to go through with this and I'm **_positive_** she's already dead set on adopting you three."

"R-really?" Loz asked, eyes hopefully as the two approached the compound, "You serious?"

"Mm-hm. She really feels for you guys." Jayden replied, pulling a set of keys out of her pocket, "Now, once we're inside, stay close and no sudden moves. They don't know your smell yet, so it'll be safer for you until they get accustomed to it."

"Alright." Loz replied determinedly, jaw set as the two entered the enclosure. They had only taken two steps in when they were swimming in a sea of wriggling, slobbering, braying, furry bodies…all of whom were waiting to be fed.

* * *

"Ease up their puppies! Swarming us won't make food come **annnnny** faster." Jayden laughed as a large speckled female licked her mouth, "**_GAH!_** Not on the **lips!** **_Yech!_** Wolf drool! Thanks **heap** Kaya!" 

Loz only moved when he felt a tug on his wrist.

"C'mon! We have to get to the meat storage lockers." Jayden said, a tiny smirk appearing on her lips, "C'mon! Don't tell me you're scared?"

"I am**_ not!_**" Loz bristled, eyes flashing as he followed alongside her to the large metallic shed concealed in the trees.

"It's okay Loz. It's perfectly understandable." Jayden snickered, waving a hand dismissively, "But don't you worry, I'm here for you!"

"I am **not** **_scared!_**" Loz cried as the oversize freezer was opened, "I'll **prove** it!" And with that being said he wrenched three large elk carcasses off their meat hooks, snapping the hooks in the process, and stormed back out to the wolves hurling one carcass one way the other carcass another and slamming the third down directly at his feet.

"**_There!_** **Still** think I'm scared?" Loz snapped, staring back at Jayden who looked at him with a wry expression.

"No, but I do think you're stupid." She commented, lifting her index finger off her bicep to point at the wolves diving at Loz to get at the elk meat.

Loz yelped and hopped around the snapping, snarling creatures and darted back behind the shorter girl, using her like a human shield.

"You see, **_this_** is why I told you to stay close…c'mon." she sighed, twisting around and dragging him out of the compound by the back of his borrowed shirt.

"Mommy, Loki just traumatized himself. Comfort your almost son, please?" Jayden said listlessly as she handed Loz off to Mikayla who pulled him down to his knees as she sat down in a chair and rocked him a little.

"Wouldja feel better if I gotcha some ice cream?" she asked, watching Loz nod slightly, "Yeah? We'll getcha some in a bit. We'll wait until you're feelin' better, kay hun?"

* * *

Jayden then meandered out into the living room, and automatically backpedaled when she saw Reno lounged on the couch watching T.V. 

The movement wasn't lost on Reno and he abandoned the couch and followed her outside and with a few quick strides of his long legs he caught up to her in no time.

"Not **this** again, yo." Reno said exasperatedly, grabbing her by the shoulders and twisting her around, "What I do **_this_** time? What could I **possibly** do to top the great hooker incident in your eyes?"

"It doesn't matter at this point…you're going home." Jayden muttered, making Reno do a very comical double take as she took a seat under a dead tree.

"You better not be fucking around with me." Reno said seriously, following her to the ground as he took a seat beside her, "Because if you are-!"

"Why do you think I called the group meeting? Aerith and Zack came to me last night." She said with a sigh, "Things in Gaia are going even more off kilter. The time stream in Gaia has drastically slowed, matching the pace of Earth's. Aerith's getting really nervous."

"So, they want us back A.S.A.P. eh?" Reno snorted, forgetting the original line of questioning momentarily, "The shit must **_really_** be hitting the fan if Aerith's actually letting on that she's worried, yo!"

"Well, that's what she said." Jayden said dryly, "The way Zack put it, she ought to be institutionalized as she's frightening the other spirits in the life stream…of course he only got out the words life str-**alck_ech!_**"

Jayden shrugged as Reno started laughing. "But at any rate, that's the situation." She replied casually, allowing her eyes to slide closed and her weight to press itself against the deceased tree's trunk, "You're all going home…today."

Reno abruptly stopped laughing, "What was that? We're going home **when**, yo?" he asked, shooting to his feet so that he loomed over the scrawny teen. Jayden's eyes slid lazily open and she smirked up at him, rising half-heartedly to her feet as she dusted herself off.

"What's the matter? You should be thrilled." Jayden replied walking back towards the house with her arms folded behind her head, "You'll be far enough away that I won't be able to badger you about your…**_questionable_** lifestyle choices…you'll be back in Gaia so that the restoration can begin…and the Silver Haired Ninnies will be stuck here with my mom."

"They're **staying** here?" Reno yelped, shaking his head to clear it and dashing after her easily catching up with his long legs as she hopped a fence, "Who the **_hells_** bright idea was **that?** And doncha dare say Aerith, yo! I aint _**stupid!**_"

"Zack's." Jayden replied easily, "He thinks they have a good chance at reforming if left in my mom's care. Aerith thinks its stupid so the two have made a bet on the matter…guess only time will tell who wins, mm?"

"I mean, damn…I didn't think you'd spring **that** on me." Reno mumbled as Jayden planted her feet and twisted around to at him.

"What's wrong? You should be happy to say goodbye to this mudball." She smirked, walking backwards as she spoke, "You can start rebuilding your life where you left off – before I threw everything into the crapper!"

"I know that." Reno snorted, matching her pace without much effort, "It's just…I'd gotten kinda used to the current sitchy-ation, yo. It'll be weird gettin' back int' the swing a things."

"You'll survive." Jayden said dryly.

* * *

"I can't **_believe_** we're actually going home!" Yuffie whooped as they tramped further and further away from the ranch, "I can't **wait** to see my dad again!" 

"I wonder how Denzel and Marlene have been?" Tifa mused to herself as they broke through the trees to the swimming hole they had used only two days prior.

"So, how do you intend on sending us back, Jayden?" Vincent inquired as she broke away from the group and approach the face of a cliff, "From what I've observed so far, you have exhibited no magical ability whatsoever."

"I won't be the one sending you back…Aerith will." Jayden replied evenly, pointing towards the sky, "Once it's high noon, she's possess me. Zack will be the one to lead you home."

"We don't have long then." Rufus remarked, shading his eyes with his hand as he gazed at the sky, "High noon's only about two minutes from now!"

"Zack, huh…it will be nice to see him again." Cloud murmured, a faint smile appearing on nhis lips at the thought of seeing his old friend one more time.

"It's go time ladies and gentlemen." Elena said, squinting as the sun slid into proper alignment. When nothing seemed to happened, the CG characters began to wonder if somehow…something had gone wrong.

Jayden suddenly stumbled forward a few steps, then shook her head as if to clear it. "Well…**that** was a bit rougher than I expected!" she said mildly in a very familiar voice that was not her own.

"_**The Cetra!**_" Rude yelped as Jayden glanced up at the Turk with a smile, her eyes currently a shocking shade of brilliant green rather than their usual wolfish blue.

"As good as it is to see you all again, I'm afraid our window of opportunity is closing." Aerith said cryptically, summoning her staff into the borrowed body's hand, spinning it above her head and slamming it into the ground.

A fissure shot from the staff to the cliff face and appeared to split it in half…at first. After the dust cleared a little, a monstrous stone doorway was seen. Aerith tapped the ground with her staff and the doors slowly began to open, a blinding light pouring out from within them.

"Listen well." She said sternly, turning to face them, "Go now. If you don't make it through those doors before they close, you'll be trapped here forever. You'll never set foot on Gaian soil again."

"Do we have enough time to say goodbye at least?" Tseng asked, wanting to leave nothing unfinished.

"I'm afraid that should have been something you took care of before hand." Aerith said sadly as the doors finished opening, "Go now…you don't have much time."

"We'll still be able to come back and visit right?" Cid asked casually, causing an uncomfortable look to twist its way over Aerith's borrowed face. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then appeared to change her mind, smiled and gestured towards the doorway.

"It's starting to close." She said softly, " You best hurry. Zack is waiting for you."

Taking one last look around, the slowly filed into the doorway, Reno making sure he was the last one through. He watched as the staff disappeared and the green whirlpooled back to blue as Aerith gave up her control.

Jayden looked up at him and looked as though she was ready to cry. Reno tried to run back through the doors but they slammed shut at the last moment, sealing off Earth, the One Winged Angel, The Remnant…and Jayden from Gaia forever.

* * *

(A/N: Is this it? Is this really the end? R&R to find out!) 


	41. Now & Then, Here & Now

(A/N: Hey all! Time for a time skip! Four years into the future to be exact! READ ON!)

* * *

"Jayden? C'mon. Get up girl." 

"_Nmuh…nn-nn._" Jayden mumbled into her pillow, refusing to lift her head from the fluffy shield. It was still dark out! No **_way_** was she getting up **this** early!

"C'mon, Jayden, you have to get ready for work. And I'm going to be late if you don't hurry." Sephiroth sighed exasperatedly, giving the woman's shoulder another shake.

No, this is not a typo. It's been four years since the Final Fantasy Incident and all the Remnants **_AND_** the One Winged Angel are still in the Schwartz household, now full-fledged members as Mikayla had taken the legal measures necessary and adopted them.

All three had blazed through high school and while Yazoo and Loz were still in college, Sephiroth had graduated and was working for a law firm as a prosecuting attorney (taking lives in another sense of the word)

Yazoo was studying the culinary arts and was working his way through college as a pastry chef. And even though he'd been living under the same roof as Jayden for four years, it still made her snicker at how big a homebody he could be.

Loz was studying veterinary medicine and interning at a local animal hospital. It was a good fit for the gentle giant as he had always liked animals…but Kadaj always seemed to killed them off before whenever he got too close or started to get attached.

Charlie and Mischa had gotten married and moved into a place of their own, Kyle had moved to Hawaii to be with Ipo and came back to visit on holidays.

As for Jayden…she was trying to ignore Sephiroth and go back to sleep.

"I dun wanna…call in sick fer me…" she mumbled, refusing to open her eyes. If she did, she knew that would give Sephiroth all the excuse he need to heft her over his shoulder and carry her down the stairs.

"You know I won't do that, Jayden. Why can't you ever make the mornings easy for both of us?" Sephiroth asked exasperatedly, "Do you want me to get the dog in here? Because I will."

"Chewwy doesn't listen to you. Nice try." Jayden retorted in a muffled voice, head still firmly pressed against the pillow.

"Will you get up if I take you to Krispy Kreme on the way?" Sephiroth asked exasperated, making his adopted sister's head instantaneously lift from its goose feather casing to smirk at him tiredly.

"You have peaked my rural interest." She said, her response muffled slightly as her Lowe's vest was thrown over her head.

"That's wonderful. Now could you please speed it up a little?" Sephiroth asked, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"Alright, alright…hey, **wait** a minute! It's not even **_five!_**" Jayden cried, taking in the time on the digital clock face beside her bed, "**What the_ hell?_**"

"I want to beat traffic." Sephiroth retorted, eyes widening in surprise as his adoptive sibling crawled back under the covers sullenly, "Don't you **dare** go back to sleep!"

"Oh I think I will." She shot back, covering her head with a pillow, "Waking a college student at this ungodly hour should be considered a federal offense."

"Doughnuts." Sephiroth reminded her, making her twitch slightly…squirm for minute as Jayden tried to decide what she wanted more, Krispy Kreme or Sleep…before sighing loudly and pulling her head out from under the pillow.

"I hate you lawyer types…so manipulative." She grumped, hoisting herself out of bed and loosing a loud yawn, "I'll be ready in ten, you anal retentive bastard."

"You're always so sweet when your sleep deprived, sister dear." Sephiroth snorted, patting Jayden on the head before leaving the room so she could change.

* * *

She stuck her tongue out at his back before walking to the closet with a sigh. Jayden was pleased that the last four years had offered, if nothing else, a growth spurt. It was only two inches, but she'd take it where she could. 

And as she had grown taller, she was developing elsewhere as well. It had taken twenty-one years, but Jayden was finally balanced out with normal proportions. She was still unbelievably skinny and only measured 5' 4"…but at least now she didn't look like a walking twig...okay she still did somewhat, but at least she wasn't _**as**_ gawky.

On went the uniform…meaning on went a tee shirt, jeans and her bright red Lowe's vest, and her hair was switched back into a long loose braid that was nearing thigh level since Jayden was too lazy to do anything more than the occasional trim at home.

Yawning one more time before making a face at her reflection, she made her way downstairs where Sephiroth waited by the front door.

"About time." He snorted, grabbing her wrist and yanking her out the door, "By the way, when did 'be ready in ten' suddenly translate into 'It'll be twenty minutes'?"

"Since you woke me up at four forty seven." Jayden retorted irritably as she slid into the front seat, "Those doughnuts better be fresh, bro, and I don't mean warm, I'm talking hot, or I'm dying your hair pink."

Yes, his hair, as was the hair of the Remnants, was silver again. Jayden had given them the shampoo to wash the dye out and wrote it off to Mikayla, Charlie and Kyle that the three were albino. There were pale enough to pass so no more questions were asked, so naturally, this threat was enough to make Sephiroth twitch…if only a little.

"They'll be plenty hot. Why don't you take the time to nap or something?" Sephiroth asked as he started the car, "It might help improve your mood somewhat."

"I like the way you think." Jayden replied, snuggling against the car door, "Just get me anything with chocolate on it or in it cuz I'm taking your advice...for once. Wake me when we're at Lowe's, kay?"

"Yeah, yeah." Sephiroth snorted, as he started the car, "And you wonder why you've remained single all these years. With your charming personality, I can't imagine why they aren't falling all over themselves to get at you."

"How about you, Mister I'm-Too-Scared-Of-Potential-Fangirls-To-Date?" Jayden retorted, not opening her eyes, "You really don't have anything to worry about. Those girls are too busy mooning over Azarath from Final Fantasy 16 to bother themselves with you anymore."

Sephiroth scowled at her and opened his mouth to drive his case home, but Jayden had already clocked out and was snoring lightly against the window, fogging it up and making him shake with silent laughter.

* * *

"Early as always, Schwartz." The store manager nodded approval as she tottered in yawning, a steaming cup of hot tea in one hand a chocolate muffin in the other. 

"It's not like I planned on it Reggie." Jayden said, sipping on the scalding hot Black Tea as her mind vibrated out of sheer exhaustion.

"Regardless, keep this up, and you'll be up for promotion in no time." He said, as she strode towards the garden department.

_"I don't want a promotion though…I like the garden department."_ Jayden thought to herself, _"It's quiet, stress free and generally smells nice when the guys in tools aren't having manure fights."_

With another yawn, she entered the green house, setting her food and drink down and pulling the hose off the wall. It was only after she twisted the spigot into the ON position that she noted the presence of another person…two others actually. Both of them were bent over the Jasmine plants, inspecting them closely.

"Um…can I help you?" Jayden asked politely, turning the hose off and setting the long reach attachment back down.

"No…but maybe we can help you, Jayden." The male member of the pair said in a smirking tone, making a thrill of familiarity shoot through her spine at the voice.

"Zack?" Jayden gaped as the apparition turned around, "Aerith? What the hell-!"

Cutting herself short, she darted to the garden department doors and slammed them shut, locking them with her key. Task complete, she whipped around, pressing herself flat against the doors, she hissed –

"What the _hell_ are you _doing_ here? Things are supposed to be all hunky-_dory_ now!" Jayden whispered fiercely, "Gaia's being restored, the Remnants and Sephiroth are reformed and out of your hair! What in the _hell_ could you _possibly_ want with me _now?_ Me and Gaia are _done!_"

"Really?" Aerith asked, floating over to the doors and squatting down so she and the twenty one year old were on eye level, "You're certain you wouldn't like to see everyone one more time?"

"What're you **playing** at?" Jayden cried, throwing her hands skyward, "The doors closed, the worlds are separate! Even if I **_wanted_** to I couldn't…and I'm not sayin' that I **do!**"

"That's where you're **wrong** Slim!" Zack said smugly, jabbing his index finger in her face, "Today's conditions are exactly the same as those four years ago! You have a window of **_opportunity_**, my skinny little friend!"

"Zack, enough with the short, skinny remarks." Aerith sighed smoothing down her bangs absently, "Jayden, it's entirely up to you. We wont force you to see them if you don't want to."

Jayden stared at the cement floor beyond her feet. She had wondered from time to time how everyone was doing…if Tifa and Cloud had finally settled down, if Denzel and Marlene were dating, if Yuffie and Rufus had gotten serious…if Elena and Rude had moved forwards with their relationship. Jayden even thought of Reno occasionally and wondered whom he was with at that particular moment in time.

"…two hours tops." Jayden muttered, coloring faintly at the admission of wanting to see the destroyers of normalcy in her life, "Not any longer than that, got it? My money's on them having forgotten completely about me."

"Yeah, well I bet they'll remember you and tackle you before you get your foot in the door." Zack challenged, ready to take the bet as he had already won one over Aerith when the Silver Haired Trio rehabilitated.

"Zack stop it, there's no need to bet over such petty things." Aerith sighed, massaging the bridge of her spectral nose, "And if we're going to do this, I suggest we leave now. Conditions wont remain optimal for long you know."

"Right, just let me tell my boss. I can't just run off without saying anything." Jayden said, unlocking the doors and dashing out, wondering why her heart was beating in her throat.

* * *

"Geez…I forgot how out of the way Gramps ranch is!" Jayden groaned three hours later, thankful she worked at a home improvement store rather than a place with an actual dress code as her jeans and shirt were rather muddy at this point. 

"**C'mon!** Suck it up Skinny!" Zack replied cheerfully as they came to the ridge where the doorway to Gaia had been formed four years ago, "It's just a little bit further!"

_"This guys a broken record. If he says 'just a little bit further' one more time..."_ Jayden thought irritably, pausing to catch her breath….unfortunately, in that same instant, Aerith decided it was time to possess her and shoved Jayden's psyche to the back of her mind.

_"Shit! What th' hell?"_ she yelped internally as Aerith took control,_ "A little warning would be nice!"_

"Sorry! I thought you we're ready." Aerith replied with a sheepish laugh through borrowed lips as she summoned her staff to Jayden's hand, "No matter, we really should speed things along anyway."

She spun the staff over her head and slammed it down in the same fashion as four years ago, and once the door way was for, the staff hit the ground once again, making the doors swing open.

"I'm going to continue to possess you until we pass through the gates of Gaia, alright? After that, you're completely on your own though." Aerith said evenly, striding forward and into the blinding light filtering through the doors.

_"Yeah, yeah…just hurry it up! This is really creepy! I want control of my body back!"_ Jayden cried out in her mind, making both Aerith and Zack laugh. Apparently Zack was in on the joke too.

_"I swear, you're lucky your ghost, cuz if I could get my hands on you…!"_ Jayden snarled in her head as the end of the pathway loomed into sight.

"Well, as sweet a thought as that is Jayden, it'll hafta wait till later unfortunately!" Zack grinned, as the exit grew closer, "Because, we're here!"

The three passed through the second gate and it took a long time for Jayden's eyes readjust…and for her stomach to pull itself from her knees…or for the feeling to come back to her spine after Aerith ejected herself from her body.

"Oop! I guess I should have let you know I was going to do that, huh?" Aerith said sheepishly, appearing next to Zac as Jayden tried her best to hold down the half a muffin and yesterday evenings stir fry.

"…I…am **really** hating you right nuh-**_glgh!_**" Jayden gagged, hands flying to her mouth as she tried not to puke. She waited a few moments until the feeling subsided and then glared up at the two apparitions sending innocent smiles her way.

"C'mon, you can bitch and moan later!" Zack said cheerfully as Jayden scrabbled to her feet, "You only have two hours! C'mon! Move it! I have a bet to win!"

"Chyeah right…" she muttered irritably under her breath, holding her stomach as she stumble off.

"Jayden **wait!**" Aerith called out sharply after the twenty something, making Jayden whip around, cheeks flushed with frustration.

"_**WHAT?**_ What is it? **What?**" she snapped.

"Edge is thataway." Aerith smiled, pointing in the opposite direction of where Jayden was walking.

"…I knew that." Jayden mumbled to herself, switching herself around and striding with purpose the other way as Zack snickered at her behind his hand.

* * *

"...wow." she gaped, eyes round and large at the sight of the newly restored Edge. The skyscrapers brushed the clouds and even though many were still under construction, the city was pretty much back to it's former glory. 

_"Okay, stop gawking like a five year old. Focus!"_ Jayden chided herself as she forced herself to move through the crowds of people towards the direction of Seventh Heaven...or where it used to stand. She had no earthly way of knowing if it was still there or not.

"Well, I'll be damned." she whistled fifteen minutes later as she stared up at the Seventh Heaven sign, "They **_did_** rebuild. No surprise I guess. It **is** special a special place for them."

Jayden ambled inside with no fear of being recognized, after all, time was doing its job, and upon taking a seat, felt her jaw drop into her lap.

Was that **_Tifa?_** **DAAAA-_AAAMN!_** She was either preggers or had **really** let herself go! And that was most **_definitely_** a wedding band on her finger.

And **shit!** Yuffie had grown like a weed on steroids! She could be a runway model if she wanted...and she and Rufus really needed to get a room. I mean, there were children present.

Awww...Elena and Rude looked so cute together! So they had stayed together. Good! Rude needed to get over that AVALANCHE spy who messed with him and Elena need to get over her Tseng-fangirlism.

_"Oh...my...GAWD! Tseng's dating my parallel self! EEEEEEEWWWW!"_ Jayden inwardly shrieked as she watched Tseng walk out with his arm draped lazily around Damien's waist as her high maitenence, preppy male parallel wrapped himself around Tseng's arm.

"Hey there. Can I getcha anythin'?" A familiar voice asked cheerfully, making Jayden glance up. It was Barrett, looking fantastic for his age.

"Corel Wine please." Jayden said quickly, glancing back at the table before he could get a good look at her face.

"Comin' up." Barrett said, turning on his heel and walking off behind the bar without so much as a backwards glance.

"So...**_he_** doesn't recognize me." Jayden breathed, a strange twinge stabbing through her heart that she decided to ignore for the moment, "But I wonder if anyone else w-!"

"Cid would y' knock it **off**, yo!" the voice of an all to familiar red-head bellowed as he and the blande stormed into the bar, a harrassed woman, whom Jayden assumed was Shera, hurrying after them, "I didn't know she was yer _niece!_"

"Well that ain't **good enough! **Yer not t' go **_near_** Katya, y'hear!" Cid bellowed, trying to get his hands on Reno, only drive him straight in Jayden's booth.

"Cid, calm **down**, dear!" Shera cried, wrapping her arms around Cid's waist.

"_**OW! **Shit!_" Jayden hissed as Reno's elbow drove itself into her ribs.

"Whoop! Sorry! You okay?" Reno asked shepishly as he scrambled behind her to avoid Cid's wrath.

"...don't use me as a human shield." Jayden said irritably, resisting the urge to grind her elbow on the top of his skull.

"Don't endanger th' customers, Reno!" Barrett snapped, dragging him out from behind Jayden, "Yer bad fer business! Here's yer drink. On th' house cuz a th' trouble."

"Thanks." she replied, taking the glass from him and downing it in a single swig and slamming the glass back down on the table, "And now I'm off."

"Sorry about all that." Shera said apologetically, still clinging to her husband's waist as the anger visibly drained from his face.

"Don't worry about it." Jayden replied making her way back out of the boot and towards the door, Denzel and Marlene excusing themselves as they made their way past her.

As she made her way through the crowds of people, Jayden inwardly sighed. None of them had recognized her. It was a sour victory, but she had won one over on Zack.

* * *

"**HEY!** Hey miss! _**Wait!**_" 

"Mm?" Jayden was turned roughly around by Reno of all people.

_"Oh crap! My heart rates going through the roof! STOP IT, ya stupid hormones! He's holdin' your wrist! He'll notice!"_ she thought in a panic.

"I'm really sorry 'bout that, yo. I really didn't see ya there." Reno said sheepishly, releasing his hold on her to scratch the back of his head.

Another pain, sharper this time, stabbed through her heart. He didn't remember her either.

"You don't even know who I am…do you?" Jayden said softly, a sad smile flitting across her face as Reno cocked his head to the side.

"Nuuu…should I?" he asked, raising an eyebrow slightly as Jayden shook her head and loosed a small sigh.

"No…no…don't let it bother you." She said tiredly, running her fingers back through her hair and turning on her heel with a backhanded wave, "Sorry for bothering you."

With that, Jayden left Reno there and made her way out of the city, making her way beck to the gateway where Aerith and Zack waited.

"How did it go?" Zack asked upon her return.

"…they didn't remember me…just as I predicted they wouldn't." Jayden replied with a cheerful smile.

"I am sorry." Aerith said softly, her response causing the twenty one year old to shake her head.

"I'm not…this is how it should be." Jayden said pressing her palm against the doorway, "And…and I got what I wanted. I got to see how everybody's doing."

"Jayden…are you really happy with leaving things as they are?" Zack pressed, causing the woman to turn and look at him with a drained smile.

"Whether or not I'm happy with this situation means nothing…this is how it has to be." Jayden murmured, pushing the door open and stepping into the light, "It was good seeing you two again."

Aerith and Zack watched as her figure faded into speck of black against the blinding light as she walked the path between worlds.

"You know, if she would have just asked…I would've worked out some kind of arrangement." Aerith sighed unhappily, flooding her arms over her front.

"I know you would've but this is how she wants it – a clean break." Zack said gently, placing his hands on her shoulders as she twisted around to face him.

"But she's miserable." Aerith said with a grumpy sigh, "She had to put up with so much for so long and even had to integrate the One Winged Angel into her family…but she - it isn't fair!"

* * *

(A/N: As Jayden makes her way back to Earth, the memory of a sarcastic teenager returns to the former AVALANCHE resistance and Turks. Will they reach her before its too late to say good bye? R&R!) 


	42. It's The Way That He Makes You Cry

(A/N: Sorry this took so long, guys. I had a major case of writer's block. I just didn't know how to end it. Hopefully this'll satisfy you all not leave too many people pissed off. And now, without further adieu, THE FINALE'!)

* * *

"Huh…that girl sure was dodgy." Reno snorted, scratching the back of his head as he re-entered the bar, "…sure was familiar though. Don't think I ever shacked her up. Usually don't go for the short ones, yo."

"Oh-ho! So he returns." Barrett snorted as Reno strode through the double doors, sticking his tongue out at the man, "You got a lotta nerve showin' your broke white ass in hurr after chasin' off a customer."

"Really, Reno. That was very irresponsible of you." Tifa said chidingly, making her way carefully out from behind the bar to sit down heavily in a chair, "You're twenty three now. You **_could_** act with a bit more maturity."

"Reno and maturity don't belong in the same sentence." Yuffie snorted, brushing some loose strands of shoulder length hair out of her eyes, "I think you may be asking the impossible here Tifa."

"Watch it, Yuffie. Or maybe I should tell your squeeze toy where all singles in his wallet mysteriously disappear to." Reno shot back, making Yuffie's face tinge a bright shade of red.

"How **dare** you **_imply_** that I would-!" she shrieked.

"Getting' awfully defensive, aintcha?" Reno retorted, resting his weight on his hip. Yuffie's reaction reminded him of someone; someone whose face he couldn't recall and whose name was, for some reason, lost to him.

"**I am _not!_**" Yuffie screamed, red as a beet by this point, hands clenched into white knuckled fists, "I just can't **believe** you would suggest I'd **_steal_** from my **boyfriend!**"

_"Where have I seen this kind of reaction before, yo?"_ Reno mused, cupping his chin, _"Anything beyond three years ago gets kinda of hazy."_

"What're you looking at Yuffie like that for?" Rufus asked sternly, rising to his feet and folding his arms over chest, "And to get more to the point, I really don't appreciate you making such wild accusations without any proof to back them up."

"It's just…she reminds me of someone, yo." Reno replied vaguely, massaging his temples, "I can't put my finger on it, but her reaction…it reminded me of somebody."

"Who? Old lay?" Cid snorted, earning himself a punch in the arm from Elena and a deep sigh from Shera.

"No, no…it's just…something about the way she flipped out reminded me of…I dunno…somebody." Reno shrugged, glancing about the room, "I mean, I don't know why but…"

"I think I get what you're saying. I felt it too." Cloud said nonchalantly as he strode out from the storage room with a crate of wine in his arms, "Yuffie did remind me of someone just now…I'm just not sure too."

"So I'm **_not_** the only one." Rude sighed, draping an arm around Elena and loosing a sigh, "Thought I was losing my mind there for a second. Sp...any thoughts as to who?"

"As to who what?" Vincent asked mildly as he entered the bar with a swirl of his cape, gazing at the assembled party and giving a light nod of acknowledgement.

"As to who Yuffie's actions remind us of." Rufus said sheepishly, giving his girlfriend's wrist a light pat

"**_Ooo!_** You're all being so **infuriating!**" Yuffie screeched, bringing both fists down on the table in front of her, "I don't know **_how_** Jayden did it!"

There was a silence and all eyes turned to the klepto kunoichi, who in response, licked her lips nervously and swallowed hard.

"What was that name just now?" Tifa murmured in a dry voice, turning to look at the Princess of Wutai, eyes wide as saucers.

"J-Jayden…I…I don't know where it came from it…I…" Yuffie stammered, sitting down hard in the booth next to Rufus, clinging to his hand like it was a life preserver.

"No…no…I remember it too. That name…" Cloud muttered, massaging his temples and squinching his eyes shut as though he was suffering a severe headache.

Reno squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think. Why did that name ring a bell? He didn't know anyone named Jayden…did he? In the black space behind his eyelids he hoped to find what he was looking for…and still there was nothing.

Reno focused more and more on the name until it became a chant in his mind. Before he quite knew what had happened, it was as if floodgates had opened. Memories long repressed and forgotten began to surge throughout his brain.

* * *

A teenager with dyed black and red hair looking about ready to faint at the sight of him, claiming he and the former Turks and AVALANCHE resistance didn't exist. 

The same girl, with long brown hair this time, refusing any help as she lay flat on her back, scowling up at him and Rude and struggled to make her way to a wheelchair.

The same girl, admitting to having surfed naked while drunk and how she lost faith in god the day her father died with a little help from booze.

The same girl, older, battered and paranoid, drawing a weapon on them, then dissolving into tears after realizing who they were.

The girl lying in a hospital bed with a gunshot wound.

Dancing with the same girl, who looked as though she was looking for the nearest exit at every opportunity.

The self same girl popping her top when Sephiroth and the Remnants turned up in her living room.

The same brown haired girl threatening bodily harm on the Remnants if they didn't hold still long enough for her to dye their hair.

The same short, skinny nymph's reflection in a windowpane, looking unbelievably hurt and hopeless as she chewed him out for a one-night stand with a hooker.

The same girl, a wolf in her arms, telling Reno with an air of cheerless confidence that upon his return to Gaia, he and the others would instantaneously begin forgetting about her.

"She was right…I forgot…" Reno mumbled to himself, his eyes snapping open, "We all started forgetting the moment we returned, yo!"

"**J.D.!** She was just here and we didn't recognize her!" Barrett moaned, palming his face in disgust, "I even took'er order and brought'er wine!

"Do you think we can still catch her?" Elena asked, clamoring to her feet, Rude quickly following suit.

"She's not fast, but she's got a good fifteen minute head start." Tifa murmured ruefully, biting her thumb, "Cid, is the Shera warmed up?"

"You know it. She's always ready t'go" Cid said pridefully, his wife pinking slightly at the missed innuendo.

"Good, with the airship we should catch up to her in no time." Cloud said tersely, already walking towards the exit, "After all, that portal is right on the outskirts of town. In the Shera, that should take about-"

"One minute and twelve seconds exactly." Vincent filled in listlessly, hot on the spiky haired man's heels.

"Good. _**Dammit!**_ Why didn't she try to jar our memories or something?" Yuffie muttered irritably as they piled into the front end of the Shera.

"She must have felt that things were better as they were, or she would have said something." Rufus said, giving Yuffie's hand a squeeze.

* * *

"But she…Jayden gave **me** a push, yo." Reno protested, shaking his head, "Whether she realized or not, she **_wanted_** us to remember." 

"Or **you** to remember…lover boy." Barrett snickered, as the outskirts of Edge loomed into view.

"What're you on? What's he talking about?" Reno asked Rude bewilderedly, who in return sighed deeply.

"So you failed to notice the entire time we we're on Earth, how jealous Jayden got over you?" he said tiredly.

"Reno, it was so obvious, it was painful." Elena laughed, sitting down on a comfortable section of floor near Rude's feet, "Jayden had it bad for you."

"**_What?_** **No**, you have it all **_wrong_**. She had it **out** for me." Reno stammered, holding up his hands defensively, "We were inseparable enemies, yo!"

"Since when do enemies get jealous when you hit on anything with female genitalia?" Vincent asked, looking mildly amused.

"Sh-she was just an odd duck, that's all!" Reno retorted, coloring slightly as the airship set down near the portal, "Jayden **_never_** liked me that way!"

"Sure she didn't. So she blew her top over that hooker for nothing, mm?" Tifa drawled as she rose to her feet with a grunt and an appreciative smile to Cloud as he assisted her.

"**HOW IN THE _HELL_ DO YOU _KNOW_ ABOUT THAT?**" Reno cried darting off the ship after the exiting party.

"When a girl is upset, who does she cry to first?" Yuffie inquired of Shera, with a nudge to the ribcage.

"Her mother, then her girl friends of course. Everyone with half a brain knows that." Shera replied with a good-natured smile.

"She told us when she was getting some vitamins for the wolves." Tifa replied, coloring slightly, "Then I told Cloud."

"And I told Vincent, Cid and Barrett." Cloud said awkwardly.

"And I blabbed to Rufus." Yuffie smiled, not looking guilty at all.

"And I informed Tuesti." Rufus replied, looking appropriately shamefaced.

"And I told Rude, but told it to keep it in the strictest confidence." Elena said.

"Which he **_obviously_** did since **I** was unprepared to get bitched **_out!_**" Reno said indignantly.

"Sorry m-hollllly shit." Rude mumbled, tumbling off his sentence at the sight before him.

The door to Earth, halfway closed, and the transparent figures of Aerith and Zack before it, backs turned towards them, as they watched someone go.

"Aerith? Zack?" Cloud murmured, eyes widening as both turned to face him, eys widening in obvious surprise, "What's going on?"

"You're actually…did you remember all on your **own?**" Aerith cried, pouncing on the group before they had a chance to speak.

"Yes, but Yuffie had a lot to do with-!" Rufus didn't get a chance to finish his sentence as Zack quickly commandeered it.

"No time! The gate's almost closed! Jayden's almost home! At this point, only one can pass through safely." He said quickly, staring at the giant stone doorway, "But even so, the chance of you reaching her and making it back to Gaia are slim and none! You'd have to wait another four years to come back."

"The decision's yours!" Aerith said, "You can leave things as they are, you might start forgetting again if you do. Or one of you can chance it and go through the-!"

"Um Aerith?" Yuffie said sheepishly, giving a little cough as she interrupted the Spirit of the Lifestream.

"What is it? What I'm saying is of great import-!" Aerith began to snap, only to quiet herself when Zack placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Reno, uh, already went through." He said with an awkward smile.

"Inseparable enemies huh?" Barrett snorted, folding his arms over his front.

"Chyeah, right." Cid said, shaking his head.

* * *

_"It's okay to leave things this way. It's alright. And I am okay with it."_ Jayden chanted to herself as she continued her steady plod through the dazzling tunnel. 

She ground her teeth together and kept her breathing steady to ease the building pressure in her chest, all the while keeping her slow steady pace.

_"I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine."_ Jayden thought to herself as her eyes began to burn behind closed eyes and her steady breathing began to grow more and more choked.

She brought the back of her hands to her eyes and took vicious swipes at the tears that had fought their way through, taking one last deep breath before loosing an angry wail, bawling hysterically.

She kept walking, though, always walking, instinctually heading towards the exit.

"**I _HATE_ YOU! HOW COULD YOU _FORGET_ ME?**" Jayden screamed, stopping now to roar at the blameless top limit, "**YOU _PROMISED_ YOU'D _NEVER_ FORGET! YOU _MADE_ ME _BELIEVE_ YOU!**"

Breathing hard, sobbing quietly now, Jayden started walking again, a bit more unsteadily than before.

_"What does it matter?"_ she sniffled, breaths coming more choked than ever, tears refusing to stop, _"You aren't even here. It's not as though I can tell off someone who isn't here to fully appreciate it."_

Only a few steps from the entryway to Earth, a weight crashed in her, send her flying through the gateway and crashing to the ground.

"Hwuh?" Jayden mumbled incoherently when she found herself lying flat on her back on the ground in a bone crushing hug.

"…caught ya…and just in time, yo." A painfully familiar voice said a loud scraping sound, followed shortly after by a -thunk- was heard as the doorway to Gaia shut.

"Re….Reno…" Jayden asked, staring up blearily at the former Turk, who smirked down at her cockily.

"None other, Ellie." He replied, hefting himself off her and tugging the small woman to her feet, "I can tell by the look on your face that ya missed me, yo."

"I-I did **_not!_** I, uh, twisted my ankle!" she shot back, wiping the last stray tears that had worked their way free.

"Oh, so? Then I should carry you then?" Reno smirked, switching her up off her feet before she could protest.

"No you shouldn't! It was momentary pain! Let me **down!**" Jayden protested, squirming to get free.

"No. I wanna hold you like this, yo." Reno retorted with a devil-may-care grin, "You can't get away this way."

"…you're sucha a creep." Jayden said irritably, slumping against him in defeat, "I swear, I never win with you."

"And you'll never win now, not with what I've got on you." Reno snickered, making the girl's eyes widen considerably.

"You've got nothing!" she retorted, looking slightly panicked.

"_'You made me believe you! You said you'd never forget me!'_" Reno mimicked, making Jayden's face turn tomato red, "Very touching, Ellie."

"**_Put me down right now!_**" Jayden screeched, writhing like a cat over a bathtub of water to get free, "Nothing is worth this humiliation! Nothing! Nadda! Zip!"

"Really? Howabout this?" Reno asked mildly, dropping Jayden's legs abruptly, startling her into submission as he swooped in for a quick kiss on the lips.

As he pulled away, Jayden's eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

"Care for another then?" Reno teased, as she purpled and smacked him soundly across the face.

"You're **still** a stupid asshole." She mumbled as she strode towards her awaiting car, a tiny smile flitting across her lips as she heard Reno clamor to his feet and hurry to catch up.

"Love you too, Ellie." He replied, draping an arm casually across her shoulder.

_-Owari-_

* * *

(A/N: Thank you for sticking with me for this long! I hope you all enjoyed my fic and that it didn't get overly sappy and Mary-Sueish...and that if it did, you would have the courtesy to tell me. At any rate, thank you for making this fic one of my most successful! Hugs and Love - _Hisa-Me Kurai_) 


	43. In Which There Is An Epilogue

(A/N: Okay people! I love how much you loved my story! And for that, here's an epilogue!)

* * *

It had been two years since Reno had trapped himself on earth.and only three weeks since Jayden had gotten an apartment and Reno decided for her that he was moving in. After so much time, Jayden knew Reno's routine by heart now...due in large part from having a month off from college due to an infestation of random critters. 

Reno would wake up at noon, drink coffee to try to get rid of a hang over (if he had one), take a shower, and get ready for work and leave. Several times Jayden had taken it upon herself to…'help' Reno get to his construction job on time. Yes he worked in construction...well, demolition more specifically. It just worked. He got to destroy things and act like the boy he was without taking it out on her apartment. But back on topic - how Jayden 'helped' Reno get up on time.

Her favorite method involved kneeling down next to his bed and watching him. She wouldn't say a word; she would just sit there and stare at him. Eventually, would he stir around a bit and get comfortable and continued to sleep. Jayden would then cross her arms and rest them on the bed, scooting a little closer to man, continuing to stare all the while. When Reno finally did open his eyes, he got a very rude awakening – waking to see someone's face up close in personal. He quickly jumped back and fell out of bed. All the while, Jayden would laugh at him as she walked away to eat breakfast.

She would also continuously poke him in the ribs while he slept, put his hand in warm water, dye his hair green (with temp dye of course), or other things that any slightly twisted mind could think up. It always helped him get to work at around eight am.

But today was different.

When Jayden walked into Reno's room, she found that he was gone. She walked to the living room and found nothing; the kitchen, nothing; the laundry room, and still found nothing. He couldn't have gone into work on time, could he? Jayden smirked to herself and flopped down on the Goodwill purchased couch.

_"I'm breaking him."_ she snickered.

At that moment, Jayden was so proud of herself, she wanted to do a little power dance. She turned the television on and watched the news. Nothing new in the news. Another person killed, another place robbed, everything was the same old thing.

_"Looks like its gonna be a pretty ho-hum day."_ Jayden thought to herself, staring up at the ceiling and loosing a sigh, _"Today's my day off, so no work, and I know everyone else'll be busy…maybe Reno won't divert too much from the norm and come home for lunch."_

But no, it appeared that Reno was having an "off" day and he didn't return home. This left Jayden to loll about the house, eat the leftovers from last night's dinner, and watch trashy day time TV.

But that became mind numbingly boring after a certain point and so to distract herself, she started cleaning the apartment top to bottom, left to right, until there was nothing left but to fold the last load of laundry in the dryer.

When all that had been done, she flipped through her library books for the umpteenth time, surfed the web for about two hours, watched a little more T.V., then gave up all hope in television and switched out for her iPod Shuffle lying back on the floor with her eyes half shut.

* * *

A shadow loomed over her, making her yelp in surprise and rip out her headphones, the sound of familiar snickering meeting her ears as she did so. 

"Honey, I'm hooome," Reno said in a cute, but annoying way as he continued to hover over her.

"That's nice," Jayden said irritably, pushing herself upright, and stretching slightly, tossing him a sideways glance and noticing the strange expression on his face, "What's up with you?"

"Not much really," Reno replied as he sat down hard on the couch. "But my arm's buggin' me, yo."

"Your arm?" Jayden asked, taking a seat on the arm of the couch, "Why would it just start hurting out of the blue? Did you strain it at the site today?"

"Hell no. I'm more careful than that, yo." Reno snorted, rotating the limb in it's socket slightly, "It just cuz it was rainy today."

"Oh sure, blame the weather." Jayden snorted, poking him in the knee with her toe.

"I've been shot in this arm more than once, yo." Reno retorted, poking her back with his elbow.

"That's a different story…and understandable." Jayden replied, fingers absently flitting to the fabric covering the scar on her chest, "Mine hurts occasionally from time to time."

"And anyway, my arm doesn't hurt it just feels uncomfortable." Reno said easily, leaning back against the couch, "Like its all stiff and shit."

"You're just tense from work." Jayden chided, rising off the arm of the couch, switching herself behind the sofa and walked behind him to rub his shoulders, "Is your job really that stressful? I mean you get to tear down walls with a big ass hammer. I would think that it would be, if anything, stress relieving."

Reno laughed and shook his head, "No, even tearing things down can be stressful, yo. Especially when you have five people telling you to do nine different things."

Jayden gave a grunt of disapproval as she started rubbing the arm that was bothering him, "That's no fun at all. Why can't they just narrow it down to one yeller? I really hate that."

Reno shrugged and tilted his head to the side. Jayden raised his arm and laid it on the top of the couch, but it couldn't raise that high without it being more uncomfortable for him so she jumped over the couch and sat next to him and continued to rub the sore appendage. She started at where the arm met the shoulder.

"So…what's for dinner?" Reno asked.

"You act as though I know." Jayden said absently, raising an eyebrow slightly as she allowed herself to become more and more fixated on the task at hand.

"Hey, if you weren't here, I'd be ordering take out, yo." Reno replied nonchalantly.

"Oh, so you're using me for free living space and my ability to cook? I feel so loved." Jayden snorted, "Why don't you upgrade to Yazoo? I'm sure he'd be thrilled."

Reno just laughed again and teased her about how her cooking brought shame to her gender and that maybe he should consider proposing to Yazoo. Jayden's only retaliation was to pinch his gut to quiet him down. She started to rub Reno's upper arm, frowning a little as she did so.

_"It really did is tense."_ Jayden mused.

"Anyway, what do you want to eat," she asked, wolfish blue eyes still focused on the task in front of her.

"Why do you always ask what **I **want to eat?" Reno questioned, looking at Jayden from the corner of his eye.

"You like and I like different foods." She said simply.

"You're only twenty three, it shouldn't matter whatcha eat." Reno replied matter of factly.

"I'm a girl - not a horse." Jayden retorted blandly.

"I meant that you're young and your metabolism is high, yo." Reno snorted, rolling his cerulean blue eyes.

"Uh **_huh_**." She replied cynically.

"Okay, what foods do you like?" Reno asked casually.

"Anything spicy." Jayden replied seriously.

"Really? That's surprisin', yo." Reno replied, eyes expressing his obvious surprise.

"Oh, because I'm a girl I shouldn't like spicy foods?" She asked with a snort.

Reno rolled his eyes again and looked up at the ceiling. Jayden shook her head and rubbed his elbow.

There was silence between the two while Jayden started rubbing his forearm. After a while she got to his wrist and Reno peeked over at her as she started to rub his hand. Jayden noticed it and tilted her head to the side.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he looked away.

Jayden stared at him a moment then shrugged, letting his hand go and looking up at him. "Done," she said easily as she got up and walked across the room.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Reno called from his spot on the sofa. 

"To get the phone book, I'm hungry and I already ate the leftovers from yesterday." Jayden replied, retrieving the phonebook from its place in the cupboard and flipping through the pages.

"I want Mexican." Reno said, rising from the sofa.

"I want Szechwan."

"Mexican."

"Szechwan."

The two stared each other down until both had a light bulb switch on in their minds. "Pizza." the two said in unison and were quiet for a while. Jayden chuckled and went into the kitchen to place their order.

"Reno, what do you want on your half?" Jayden asked as she dialed up Alfy's Pizza.

"I don't care, yo." Reno said casually, following her voice into the kitchen where she was facing the stove talking to a person on the other line. He slunk up close behind her, quietly so that she wouldn't notice him, and leaned down next to her ear to try to scare her …

"Hey, Reno, do you want…" as Jayden was turning to ask him a question, she accidentally brushed her lips against his, startling her into dropping the phone.

_"Okay...get a grip girl. That wasn't as bad as it could've been I guess. I should be used to it by now."_ Jayden thought with a small sigh, _"He does things like this all the time. It doesn't mean anything."_

"_Uh…Hello?_" the phone asked. "_Is anyone there?_"

"Uh, **yes!**" Jayden cried, ducking under Reno's arms and retrieving the phone off the floor, "Sorry. Had a spazz attack. Anyway, did you get all that? …yeah, that sounds about right. Thank you."

She pressed the end button and loosed a heavy sigh that converted into a yelp as she was hefted onto the counter by Reno.

"Hey-**_HEY!_** Watch it with that arm, buddeh! I'm not gonna…what's the deal?" Jayden asked, feeling anxiety build up slightly in her chest as Reno loomed over her.

"I've been thinking a lot lately, yo." Reno said slowly, moving his hands so they were positioned over hers, trapping her in place, "And I think we should get married."

"…where the hell did **that** come from? You don't even…I mean…we-we-we haven't even _**dated**_." Jayden stammered, face turning into an over sized tomato as she spoke, "I mean, there were all those times you came home drunk and tried to…well that isn't the **point!** The point is-!"

"I really don't see the problem, yo." Reno shrugged, leaning forward so that Jayden had to lean back, "I mean, you love me, right? And I l-!"

"No you **_don't!_** You only **think** you do!" Jayden squeaked, noting with panic that her head made contact with the cabinet so she was out of space to get away from Reno, "You don't lo-!"

"Oh, so I ran after you for no particular reason, mm?" Reno asked, leaning closer so that his nose grazed hers, "I just decided on a whim that not seeing my home for four years and spending my life with you was thing to do right, yo?"

"I-I-_**Idunno!**_ Maybe?" Jayden whimpered, wishing that her brothers, adopted or otherwise, would pop up about now and save her, "But **love**? Isn't that taking a bit f-!"

"Shut up." Reno said with a smirk, closing the gap and kissing her roughly, pulling away after a time, "Now you listen up – I. Love. You. You know I aint one fer this mushy crap. Why would I lie, yo?"

"But don't you think we should at least **_date_** for awhile?" Jayden mumbled, more than a little dazed, "Marriage is…marriage is…"

"A word, yo. Nothin' but a word." Reno said easily releasing his grip on her hands as he brought his to her face, "Its justa buncha letters strung together t'say 'these two people love each other enough to get it in writing'. Sure we can date while we're engaged. Whoever said we couldn't?"

Jayden stuck out her lower lip stubbornly, "I dunno…I **guess** we could make it wor-!"

"I'm taking that as a yes." Reno said triumphantly, wrapping his arms around her waist, "I won't letcha take it back. Heh heh, we're gonna have fun, yo."

"You mean were weren't already?" Jayden asked, petting his hair as he rested his head on her shoulder.

"Ellie, you don't know my definition of fun." Reno smirked, nipping her shoulder lightly and running his hands down her back.

"Even though I'm **_positive_** that I do…I'm not so sure I wanna find out first hand." Jayden replied evenly, holding a pair of kitchen scissors retrieved from a flowerpot on the windowsill against his side.

"Y'sure?" Reno asked teasingly, releasing his hold on her and moving aside so that she was free to hop off the counter, "Ya never know, yo. Y'actually might enjoy yourself. I'd be gentle with ya too, since **I'm **positive I'd be your f-"

"Stop. Just stop." Jayden sighed, hearing the door buzzer go off and walking out of the kitchen to answer it, "The pizza's here. We can discuss this later."

"That means you're considering it, yo!" Reno whooped triumphantly as Jayden returned moments later with a pizza box in hand and scissors jammed in her back pocket.

"Maybe." Jayden admitted under her breath, "After all…holding out on my husband seems a tad cruel…and a recipe for infidelity."

"Trust me, you won't regret this, babe." Reno said, grabbing to slices of pizza and looping his arm around Jayden's waist.

"But you might after you take into consideration who some of your in-laws will be." Jayden smirked.

"It'll take more than Sephiroth to scare me off, yo." Reno said easily, allowing his hand to drift up Jayden's thigh.

"Reno?"

"Yeah?"

"Eat your food."

* * *

(A/N: There you have it! I might write a sequel if I'm begged enough. Hugs and kisses every one!) 


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